Goblin chef
Those are the stat blocks (though I think the lore, which isn't on AON, is also a lot of fun).
Just a reminder, I'm heading out for a couple of weeks, starting tomorrow. I'm getting back June 7 and hope to get caught up on my PBPs that weekend. Also, I'm excited to say I can finally tell you one of the reasons for my slightly slower posting rate. My first AP was announced at PaizoCon: Hellbreakers (I suppose it was announced a while ago, but Paizo announced my role as one of the authors yesterday)!
I will be out of the country for a bit. I'm leaving Sunday afternoon, returning early June 7 (and hoping to catch up on my PBPs by the end of that weekend).
Are you talking about sex? If so, it may be a long time. :p
Staflit, you inhale a lungful of cigarette smoke, thanks to Al and Lothan. Thank to your accompaniment, a flock of shantaks avoid descending for a fight, and you arrive soon enough at your destination. The remnants of a fantastic iron tower stand here over a broken and rubble-strewn street. The tower is fashioned from a lattice of riveted iron girders. The shattered remains of an elevator system occupy the leg area along with a set of iron stairs. The height of the tower was once approximately one thousand feet, though it has since been snapped in half. The base and two floors are still somewhat intact, although wreckage and twisted metal litter the structure and surrounding area. The first observation deck is at approximately 190 feet above the ground, and the second observation deck is 380 feet above the ground. The Star Stela is on the second observation deck in the center of what was once a restaurant.
The bartender is not happy, per se, but nonplussed at the idea of showing you around. He seems to warm up once he realizes Lothan can speak a proper language, however, and shows you around. The club at first seems to have little of interest. But the storeroom, marked “Staff Only,” contains dozens of crates of wine, liquor, and beer that have been scavenged from throughout the Paris nexus since it formed. Cartons of cigarettes sit stacked on a shelf near the drinks. All of the beverages are potable for the living and dead alike. The owner's quarters contain an iron chest with a ring of protection +3, a steel scroll case that contains a scroll of cat’s grace, a scroll of mage’s private sanctum, and a scroll of communal resist energy, 2,396 gp, and several tall stacks of worthless paper currency. -- By the time you return to Erich’s house, a small crowd of Leng ghouls and humans has gathered in the street out front and meets you with cheers. A spokesperson on Erich’s behalf informs the community of your role in Zann’s liberation and restoration. The gendarmes then formally surrender to Erich’s authority. Erich asks you to accompany him to the ruins of a shop that used to sell musical instruments. There he produces three items to assist you on your quest: a gem of seeing, a horn of blasting, and an orb of pure law. Additionally, Erich orders a squadron of the gendarmes to follow you up the Seine River toward the Eiffel Tower. He says this escort will help to clear the sky of shantaks and makes it easier for you to reach the Star Stela.
Quick stats:
HP 104/104 (currently 55/88) AC 25 Fort +15, Ref +14, Will +14 (resolve) Hero points: 2 Effects: drained 2, doomed 1, 4d6 persistent void, marshal's stance Kadosh falls, even as the fell magic continues to weaken him, falls into his fighting stance and swings his mace.
Just FYI, I have a big deadline Monday, so may be a bit distracted until then (that said, it's just one PC and NPC I need to resolve for Round 1/2), so hopefully get that done once Starflit posts.
"Tu me prends pour un Anglais ? Je ne parle pas une langue vulgaire et vulgaire ! Je parle le FRANÇAIS, la langue de l'amour," the guard responds to Lothan. Translation:
"What do you think I am, English? I don't speak some common, low-brow tongue! I speak FRENCH, the language of love!" Through a few back and forths, it becomes clear Armel is likely in the tavern room, along with a large number of other people. The guard suggests you try to play on Armel’s ego by suggesting that he demonstrate that he is the most dangerous creature in all of the Paris nexus to get him to fight you on his own. "Mais ce ne sera pas facile. Armel n'est pas idiot." Translation: "But this will not be easy. Armel is no fool"
"I think we should go that way," Kilitsi suggests. As usually for the famously directionally challenged minotaur, it is not the most direct path.
Tristain suspects this nexus is only partially formed. What exists is a mere copy and not even the entirety of the original, which likely comes from a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away. He suspects they melt cheese into wine, so it's not all bad. Also, very thin pancakes. And wine. And delicious long loaves of bread. And wine. And when there's not a lot of wine, there's probably a lot of butter. So definitely not all bad.
Erich Zann guides you to his home nexus, a trip long enough that you can rest before crossing over. You arrive in a place called Paree -- though he says, oddly, it's spelled Paris -- a strange place where the streets are mostly empty save for a handful of deranged lunatics or unfortunate souls who read The King in Yellow, found themselves lost in this terrible world, and now hide behind boarded-up windows and doors just to survive. He leads you to a cobbled street that begins south of a river he calls the Seine , and crosses it twice over large bridges of black stone. The river here has a foul smell, and the light from Carcosa’s black suns is particularly dim. Once past the northernmost bridge, the street becomes very narrow and precariously steep, occasionally nothing more than flights of steps with rails. Toward its end, the street becomes a patchwork of cobble, paving stones, and bare earth with struggling greenish-gray vegetation that ends at an ivy-covered wall. One house in particular stands taller than all the others, a rickety five-story building with a garret room. The attic room directly under the peaked roof has a window that faces west and overlooks the border between this nexus and the next. This is Erich Zann’s personal residence, the third to the last house on the street. He lives in the garret room, and at his request the fifth floor is entirely unoccupied. Eights Leng ghoul disciple maintain a vigil over the house and at the sight of him, presumably healthy and hale, they are overjoyed. They quickly surround him defensively until they learn of your role in his rescue. These particular ghouls, though still evil, hold their monstrous natures in check. They do not subscribe to the practice of murder to obtain flesh, especially since there is no shortage of corpses and those unfortunates who willingly submit to swift, merciful deaths to be spared their tragic existence in Carcosa. Once introductions are made, the ghouls inform Erich that the nexus has been torn apart in his absence. Whereas Erich once commanded the Leng ghouls by appealing to their love of knowledge, a powerful, savage ghoul named Armel has arisen to take his place. Armel has organized many of the Leng ghouls into a semblance of a military police organization. At first, it seemed this action was intended to maintain order, but Erich’s allies report that Armel’s reign has become violent and erratic. The Leng ghouls who have embraced civility, as well as the unfortunate human refugees here, suffer under his tyranny. Once this has all become clear, Erich makes a plea: He asks that your rid the Paris nexus of Armel, so that he can reassert reason over the ghoul community and restore it to the small sanctuary it was before he left. He promises you three powerful magical treasures that could aid you in whatever tasks still await you. If you ask about the Star Stela, Erich tells you he believes it is in the ruins of something called the Eiffel Tower, a great iron structure at the end of the river.
With no better suggestions, you carefully smash the power collectors. The
Despite your concerns, you perform the ritual, which goes off without interruption. You have one more nexus you must visit.
"It's our pleasure!" Takarias exclaims. "But it was already being worn by a true hero while you had it on!"
Humerus, level 15!
Third Path to Perfection (fortitude): You have made great progress in your personal studies of enlightenment. Choose one of the saving throws you selected for path to perfection or second path to perfection. Your proficiency rank for the chosen type of save increases to legendary. When you roll a critical failure on the chosen type of save, you get a failure instead. When you roll a failure on the chosen type of save against an effect that deals damage, you take half damage. +5 speed Skill increase: Athletics to Legen ... wait for it! ... dary!
Round 2:
Starflit: 25 Tristain: 11 Albert: 8 Kyffin: 8 Lothan: 26 Antagonist: 26 As Starflit makes the combat far less fun for her poor GM, Tristain hastily flees, and then casts haste so everyone else can do the same. Lothan unleashes a barrage of arrows at the elder thing approaching from the rear, but his injuries are clearly taking a toll as none of the arrows hit. It responds with a spell, disappearing from sight. To the north, Al and Kyffin turn their attention to the mutate, though Al finds it much harder to connect with the ooze than he expected. It lashes out with its tentacles, though Starflit's magic keeps it from grabbing. Mechanics:
ET: invis.
FYI, I'll be out of town Friday-Monday, so not posting during that time.
"Yes, I think probably more straight to the point seems better. Considering what we've learned about the Blackfrost Whale, I don't think we have time for props, or even just dinner and a show."
Takarias starts to talk about the battle against Tar-Baphon but it becomes obvious all too quickly that word of what happened in Lastwall didn't reach Sovyrian before the elf came to Kyonin. His words only seem to highlight what he's not aware of.
Quick stats:
HP 127/127 AC 28 Fort +19, Ref +18, Will (mysterious resolve) +21 Halfling Luck: Skill/saving throw []; attack/Perception [] Hero points: 2 Focus Points: 3/3 Spells (DC 31): 1st [][][][]; 2nd [][][][]; 3rd [][][][]; 4th [][][][]; 5th [][][][]; 6th [x][][][] GP [] Effects: Cursebound 2 (-10 speed) "Phaugh! That stinks worse than Timdok's socks after a week of adventuring," Esirelle complains. The spirits seem to swirl around her, whispering in a language only she can here, as she considers the monstrosity. Then she snaps into action, casting spells. "You should have kept being motionless, disgusting slime. This isn't going to end well for you!" she tells it.
Oracle abilities: Whispers of Weakness [one-action] (cursebound, divine, oracle) Voices whisper to you how to best lay a creature low. You target one creature within 60 feet; if it has any weaknesses, you learn them, as well as which of its saving throw modifiers is lowest. You also come to understand its movements, gaining a +2 status bonus to your next attack roll (or skill check made as part of an attack action) against that foe before the end of your turn. The target is then temporarily immune for 1 day. Foretell Harm [free-action] (cursebound, divine, oracle) Frequency once per round; Requirements Your previous action was to Cast a non-cantrip Spell that dealt damage. Effect Your magic echoes ominously as you glimpse injury in the target’s future. At the beginning of your target’s next turn, it takes damage equal to twice the triggering spell’s rank as a seemingly random and minor misfortune finds it. The damage and type of misfortune is of a type matching the spell; for instance, if you dealt fire damage, a flame might spontaneous ignite on them or they might burn a hand on their torch. The target is then temporarily immune to Foretell Harm for 24 hours.
Before you get ready to head to the laboratory, the two elder things hand you three small pentagonal stone chips cut from a pinkish translucent stone. The three chips each have one of the numbers 2, 4, and 8 engraved in Aklo. The archivists are not precisely sure what they’re used for, but they know they somehow are required for a locking mechanism to the vault that holds the Star Stela. Then, steeling yourselves, the seven of you face the rampaging shoggoth -- and somehow emerge triumphant! After which, you had for the laboratory: Two pentagonal structures connected by a long, covered walkway stand in the center of an empty plaza, surrounded by a cluster of domes and spiral towers. Both buildings are constructed from green-and-black marble etched with inhuman engravings. The larger building is topped with a dome roof with a needlelike spike at the center. An iridescent hemisphere of energy surrounds it and expands to the southwest wall of the smaller building. There are no obvious entrances or windows save for a 5-foot-wide, completely enclosed corridor with a peaked roof that penetrates the barrier and connects to the smaller building. The smaller building is almost identical save that it has an elongated pentagonal door on the north side. The engravings on this building are rounded and worn smooth from time and the elements. A permanent wall of force effect shaped like a dome protects the larger building. Every creature inside is affected by a temporal stasis effect. This is the product of elder thing super-science and magic from a bygone era. The means to deactivate the effects are inside the laboratory airlock. The engravings on the outside of the buildings are difficult to make out, but several of you can discern a pattern of creatures with starfish-shaped heads pouring fluids into a large vat. Lothan finds a similar engraving: a disembodied mouth is depicted floating in the vat, and the starfish-headed creatures are flailing their tentacles.
Kilitsi shrugs as Wispil splashes around in the water and the bees take flight, heading into her fur, where they can find safety from the deluge. "Like, there are so many of them. Do you think they have names?"
"Like, whatever. Bee more chill," Kilitsi says. "We'll take your bees, and you leave the town alone."
Quick stats:
HP 220/220 AC 35 / 37 in Mountain Stance or 39 if use Mountain Stronghold Resistance 3 to cold, electricity, fire, piercing, and slashing damage Fort +22, Ref +22, Will +20 (+1 vs. disease and poison; +2 circumstance bonus to Fortitude DC vs. Grapple and Swallow Whole; +2 circumstance bonus vs. being Shoved or Tripped while in Mountain Stance, +1 vs. fear) Hero points: 3 Effects: "Whoa, boss, where did you get those nice blood cloaks?" he asks, automatically falling into his fighting stance He rushes forward and stomps his foot, creating a minor tremor. Grabbing one of the skeletons, he drives his fist into its skull.
"Blooms in Darkness, that's the best attitude I've heard all day! I love your enthusiasm!" Takarias says as he starts unfurling a banner with a howling dog emblazoned on it.
Quick stats:
HP 220/220 AC 35 / 37 in Mountain Stance or 39 if use Mountain Stronghold Resistance 3 to cold, electricity, fire, piercing, and slashing damage Fort +22, Ref +22, Will +20 (+1 vs. disease and poison; +2 circumstance bonus to Fortitude DC vs. Grapple and Swallow Whole; +2 circumstance bonus vs. being Shoved or Tripped while in Mountain Stance, +1 vs. fear) Hero points: 3 Effects: "Hey, blood boss, don't get confused," Humerus calls out as he rushes in to help Ceceka. [b]"I don't want to be racist, but I think we we sort of all look alike!" With too many to grab, he strikes out with his fists, trying to batter the smaller of the two troops.
Round 2:
Starflit: 19 Lothan: 14 Tristain: 12 Kyffin: 12 Albert: 8 Antagonist: 30 Starflit and Lothan take down the closest spider, which fortunately falls to the ground with a sickening splat! As Al and Kyffin rush toward the remaining spider, Tristain tries to blast it with a barrage of magical missiles -- but they have no effect! . It chitters and starts to move forward ... but then freezes at a muffled and distant cry of “Tekeli-li! Tekeli-li!” A second later, it turns and flees back the way you came from!
"Wait a minute! You don't think I'm a lady skeleton, do you, blood boss?! Am I ... feminine? I guess I never thought about it, but you don't really have any way of knowing. Not that it matters much to me, but I was a man." He pauses, scratching his skull. "Is gender a flesh construct? Not like, you know a charnel creation, but something that you only have if you have flesh?!"
"Oh, what kind of contagious malaises? It's not the lurgy, is it? That one's particularly tough to get rid of. It just hangs around and hangs around despite your urging it to move along," Dianora says, continuing to distract the woman with discussion of other maladies.
Humerus again sets out, at Aily's instruction, to see what he can learn. He's a little unsure why she said his head is so empty no one could possibly ever think he's a spy, but that thought only lasts for about six seconds before he's focused on talking to anyone else who's interested.
"Kharya!" Esirelle calls. Realizing what's happening, she tries to take control of the puppets. "That's not how the show goes. It's like this!" She begins to sing: "It's time to play the music/It's time to light the lights/It's time to meet the Poppets/On The Poppet Show tonight. It's time to put on makeup/It's time to dress up right/It's time to raise the curtain/On The Poppet Show tonight."
"Sure, I like that idea," Dianora agrees. Once Yuki's ready, Dianora enters. "I'm so sorry to bother you," she says. "We saw you help that poor man in earlier and I thought he needed help. I had to help my friend here -- she had a bad goiter, you know. Not her personally, of course, but her pet goat -- but I just couldn't stop thinking about you, and thought I should come check. I did learn a little bit of healing at my meemaw's hand -- that's how I know what a goiter is, of course. She had an awful one! -- so ... can I help you?"
Vampires are known all across the world -- and apparently multiple worlds based on your current situation -- for their connection to blood. They need it to survive, and take it from others, willing or not. In a span of six seconds, it becomes quite clear that vampires like Lord Avaric feast on such blood, drinking it to sustain them, and fill them. It's quite clear because about six seconds after Al begins swinging his sword, there is not a single drop of blood left in Lord Avaric -- it is instead sprayed across the entire ballroom, leading to most of the guests (who you might remember are mostly cursed and don't realize they are undead) fleeing in fear, screaming into the night. Combat, in fact, ends almost as quickly as it began, and you are able to collect Delmaria and return to her father's estate as soon as you are ready. "Well, that was most impressive," Erich Zann says. "Say, do you have a birthday by any chance? I should hate to miss it and upset you in any way."
"More doppelgangers!" Rova whispers to her companions. "It sounds like they may have taken over the distillery! But fortunately, they seem to be content to stay there for the moment!"
The Tyrant scowls at the camera. "You want to know about me? Know that I'm not going to stand by to see the weak and disadvantaged people of this 'verse be taken advantage of!" She picks up a nearby piece of furniture and turns to the camera. "This is what's going to happen to anyone that tries." She flexes, and shatters the furniture into a number of very small pieces.
Dianora looks at the other three and then gestures with her head after the one leaving.
Quick stats:
HP 190/190 AC 34 / 35 in Mountain Stance or 37 if use Mountain Stronghold Resistance 3 to cold, electricity, fire, piercing, and slashing damage Fort +21, Ref +21, Will +19 (+1 vs. disease and poison; +2 circumstance bonus to Fortitude DC vs. Grapple and Swallow Whole; +2 circumstance bonus vs. being Shoved or Tripped while in Mountain Stance, +1 vs. fear) Hero points: 2 Effects: "Hey! You almost hit me, boss! If I had flesh...!" Humerus says as the arrow goes cleanly between his ribs. He rushes toward the vampire -- if it wants to try to shoot him, he's not going to just stand back and let it -- and nearly slips, but catches himself at the last moment by grabbing the vampire around the neck.
Esirelle feels her heart start to race. She's always wanted to audition for a real show ... and never been asked to before! But maybe this is what her visions all ultimately were leading her to. Not piracy, not adventuredom, but finally her real role on the stage. She takes a deep breath. Spell out, Essie!
Dianora waves to the other captains, grinning at her own antics. You have to wave to sailors! She calls over the bartender. "Is there anything on 'sail' today? A galleon of ale, maybe?" she asks with a smile.
In the morning, she complains to her companions. "I hope everyone slept better than I did. I had a lot of bad dreams -- real nightmaritimes."
Quick stats:
HP 190/190 AC 34 / 35 in Mountain Stance or 37 if use Mountain Stronghold Resistance 3 to cold, electricity, fire, piercing, and slashing damage Fort +21, Ref +21, Will +19 (+1 vs. disease and poison; +2 circumstance bonus to Fortitude DC vs. Grapple and Swallow Whole; +2 circumstance bonus vs. being Shoved or Tripped while in Mountain Stance, +1 vs. fear) Hero points: 3 Effects: Humerus flinches at Telvir's command, inadvertently crushing the vampire's neck. "Sorry, boss!" he blurts, before proceeding to hit the vampire a couple of times and then throw it across the room.
Aily's spirit ripped apart making her want to scream, but she doesn't. Instead she moves slowly to Caraid to request more healing. And honey I know you'll be there to relieve me / The love you give to me will free me / If you don't know the thing you're dealing / Oh I can tell you, darling, that it's sexual healing...
"You know, I once developed immunity to 27 different toxins," Timdok comments as he fights the spasms in his arm. "Was one of them iocaine powder?" Esirelle asks, urging Timdok on -- and providing a distraction -- while Cerulean does her work. She does it well, as always.
Quick stats:
HP 114/116 AC 27 Fort +18, Ref +17, Will (mysterious resolve) +20 Halfling Luck: Skill/saving throw []; attack/Perception [] Hero points: 1 Focus Points: 1/2 Spells (DC 30): 1st [][][][]; 2nd [][][][]; 3rd [x][][][]; 4th [x][x][][]; 5th [x][x][][]; 6th [x][][] GP [] Effects: Cursebound 1 (-5 speed) Esirelle sighs dramatically and rolls her eyes. "It didn't go so well for you last time. And YOU, Isabella, should know better!" She focuses on the king. "His brain, people. That's his weak point. Explains why he's trying to challenge us ... again!" Esirelle seems to slow as time bends around her, but not enough to stop her from casting again!
"Not the buns!" Hooli cries, racing ahead of the others to the shop to investigate. She doesn't mind hair that much -- when you have fur like a kitsune, you get used to it to a degree -- but the buns are good enough that she doesn't want them disrupted. She looks and sniffs around to see if there's anything else she might be able to find in the rafters.
"We wonder what kind of magic items they are? And if they're in the cult's hands, aren't they already in the wrong hands?"
"Well, for Gorumites, they sure ate well," Dianora says. "Popcorn's one of my favorites! Oh, and look, they even left us a stove to cook it on and heat up the coffee!" She pauses. "Not the safest setup, though. No wonder they kept dying so easily. Not very bright. We can probably help."
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