The Thread Celestial


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It says here in The Complete Unabridged Dictionary of Everything by Xanxost the Slaad that an anti-paladin is the feminine version of an anti-pasto.

Rats, now I'm hungry again.


So that's a yeeessssss?


Well that's not the first time I've been referred to as an entree.

Silver Crusade

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After years of Celestial Follower's cooking, I have to admit that the Doughnut Universe sounds heavenly.


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I hope they have Raspberry filled Doughnuts there.


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I've seen the horrors of the Blood Wars on the "History" Channel while eating Nacho Turnip-flavored Cheetos on the couch...

But I can only imagine the terrible carnage and soul-rending despair of the epic multi-planar Dunkin vs. Krispy Kreme Wars...

While night hags plunder unguarded cronut larvae and Waffle Houseoloths work for the better-tipping side...

All the while, politely and cheerfully evil Tim Hortmodeous sits patiently on his throne of ever-fresh poutine... and waits.

...

Damn, I'm hungry again.


I don't really have a problem with eating Candy people, just might take a little while longer...

Mmmmmm Sucker Succubi and Licorice Lillends...


Hey, I'm here.

Silver Crusade

The_Paladin_of_Nevada wrote:
Hey, I'm here.

Good. The sacrifices are getting squirmy. Can you hold them still?


Antipaladin of Szuriel wrote:
I don't really have a problem with eating Candy people, just might take a little while longer...

I think I know just the place.

*digs MiniPortalGenX 5000 out of coat pocket*

Alright, let's get this trip started, yeeesssss. Round and round the planar gyroes, where it stops, Maelstrom knows....

Silver Crusade

Are we there yet?


Don't think so, the people here don't taste like you'd expect people from a doughnut universe to taste like.


flies across the assembled alter egos mutter something about quasars, sladds, and safety


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Antipaladin of Szuriel wrote:
Don't think so, the people here don't taste like you'd expect people from a doughnut universe to taste like.

{peeks out of kitchen} We aren't there yet? {hides heavily-gnawed raspberry- and sugar-covered mail-carrier's arm in the breadbox}


I think we're en-route. We have to take a left at Albuquerque.


Gentleman Nurn wrote:
I think we're en-route. We have to take a left at Albuquerque.

Grumble, stupid interdiminsional portals and their need to still work on basic geometry, grumble, grumble.


I know right?!

Silver Crusade

Oh hey, I found this old box from Dunkin Donuts behind the radiator. Maybe don't have to go all the way to the Doughnut Universe after all.

I think this one is Crisco-flavored.


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One box? You think one box is going to handle all of us?

Unless that's TARDIS-brand cardboard this roadtrip is still on.


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Mmmmmmmmm Everfull Box of Doughnuts. Don't like whatcha got? Close and reopen it for an all new selection!

...

Seriously, someone with the Crafting Feat loadout needs to make it. NAO!


Has the Doughnut Tastetest started yet? I'm really really really hungry...


{pauses, sits down wearily} I just felt a great disturbance in the Heavens, as if millions of comics IP lawyers suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I fear something terrible has happened.

Dr. Octopus would be an excellent nickname... hmmm...


Good riddance. Nobody likes lawyers here.


{peeks out from cabinet under sink, cries silently}

Silver Crusade

Wait, I am pretty sure we are supposed to be Lawful...


Celestial Healer wrote:
Wait, I am pretty sure we are supposed to be Lawful...

Says you.


Neutrality just doesn't have that "fumpf" to it.


The_Paladin_of_Nevada wrote:
Neutrality just doesn't have that "Flumph" to it.

Fixed that for ya.


Now I'm hungry for Interplanar House of Flumphcakes


Stay alive from me.


Fine, we can make a pit stop.

If I can find the brakes on this thing.

Silver Crusade

Don't they have a drive-thru?


Celestial Healer wrote:
Don't they have a drive-thru?

Yeah but somebody's already driven through it, you know how hard it it to find an intact building on this part of the multiverse?

Silver Crusade

Back in Celestia we had building codes and people followed them.

And traffic laws.

Silver Crusade

Gee those were swell times, if we could only bring eddie around


Celestial Healer wrote:

Back in Celestia we had building codes and people followed them.

And traffic laws.

It has been noted that traffic laws are the main cause of traffic.


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Wally Cleaver wrote:
Gee those were swell times, if we could only bring eddie around

{panics at possible appearance of Wally's mother, hides under the couch}


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Wally Cleaver wrote:
Gee those were swell times, if we could only bring eddie around

Eddie Haskell? He knew too much. I had to have him put down.

But then one afternoon when I was having tea with Mammy Graul, she gave me a brilliant idea. I animated his corpse and use him as a source of diversion. Even with the chill of the grave about him, he's still not as cold-hearted as that deadbeat father of yours.

Silver Crusade

Gee Mom I don't recall you ever being like this... say where's the beav?


Follow me.


Shiney Pretty Ball-of-Light wrote:
Follow me.

Oh boy, now where did I put my racket.


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June Cleaver wrote:
Wah wah wah-wah-wah wah Wah wahhhhhhhhhh...

{inks self in fear, rocks back-and-forth quietly under couch}


June Cleaver has returned. SHould I pray or should I be scared?

What is that noise under the couch?


The_Paladin_of_Nevada wrote:

June Cleaver has returned. SHould I pray or should I be scared?

What is that noise under the couch?

A pressure sensitive landmine.


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The_Paladin_of_Nevada wrote:
June Cleaver has returned. Should I pray or should I be scared?

Both. Rounding up the people and equipment for an exorcism wouldn't hurt, either.

Antipaladin of Szuriel wrote:

What is that noise under the couch?

A pressure sensitive landmine.

disbelieve: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (13) + 3 = 16

*Looks under the couch.* There, there. *Gently gathers up Celestial Thaumoctopus, pats comfortingly.* Sshhh. Let's go find ourselves a couple of yummy Brown Russians, and leave these infernal types to fight it out.


Antipaladin of Szuriel wrote:
The_Paladin_of_Nevada wrote:

June Cleaver has returned. SHould I pray or should I be scared?

What is that noise under the couch?

A pressure sensitive landmine.

Wow, you are mean. Ever consider joining us LG types in a witch burning or even a good old fashion crusade. I know a few non-believers that need to be put down with a sword.


Oh excellent, I haven't been to an exorcism in eons, yeeeesssssss.


The_Paladin_of_Nevada wrote:
Antipaladin of Szuriel wrote:
The_Paladin_of_Nevada wrote:

June Cleaver has returned. SHould I pray or should I be scared?

What is that noise under the couch?

A pressure sensitive landmine.
Wow, you are mean. Ever consider joining us LG types in a witch burning or even a good old fashion crusade. I know a few non-believers that need to be put down with a sword.

Surprisingly more often than you think, was helping out some buddies take care of some demons pouring out of a hole near the top of world... Then doughnuts happened.


I like donuts. The sugar rush is great. Comes in handy when I need something extra to get me through those long inquistions

Silver Crusade

How could you do it Mrs. Cleaver, I was always nice around you and ward....Could you make me some brains?

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