Gooood evening stargirls, starboys, and every beautiful person in between! Are you tired of the same ol’ holovid stars clogging up your infosphere? Bored of loops with squoxes wearing hats and proogs playing keytars? Well, you’ve come to the right place! XenoTrouble Enterprises is proud to present the weirdest, wildest wrestling shows in all of the Pact Worlds, and on April 8, we’ll broadcast your main event!
Our Battle Palace moves to Akiton for this free-for-all match between your favorite babyfaces and the galaxy’s worst heels. Plus, the legendary Brandie Brutal, that Beefcake from the East Gate, makes his XenoTrouble debut! Will our wrestling stars keep the championship in the family? Or will the Beefcake take them all to lunch? Whatever happens, we sure can promise: this event is going to be X.T.R.E.M!
If the implication from this totally-legitimate promotional text isn’t clear, allow me to elucidate: yes, Paizo is kicking off a new Starfinder actual play stream.
And yes, it’s about amateur wrestling.
To be more specific, on Wednesday, April 8, I’ll be GMing for some wonderfully accommodating Paizo folks, who each will be playing a PC moonlighting as an amateur, WWE-style wrestler. This stream follows the antics of the Pact Worlds-based league, XenoTrouble Wrestling Entertainment Matches (created specifically for this game!). Hence the name of the stream: X.T.R.E.M.!
Although this league has specialized in small-time, rough-and-tumble wrestling matches in the past, Wednesday marks its first attempt at a big-time event, complete with a high-profile guest wrestler, fancy production values, and even a cameo from Zo!, the famed Eoxian media mogul. Of course, like any good Starfinder game, things are going to go awry, and quickly (but don’t tell the players!).
Playing in the game are John Compton, Starfinder Senior Developer; Payton Smith, Social Media Producer; Jason Tondro, Starfinder Developer; and Andrew White, Front-End Engineering Lead.
And oh boy, have they come up with a cast of characters for you.
John’s embri biohacker, for example, is a masked luchador known in the ring as La Malscripcion, who saves lives as a doctor by day and cheats, taunts, and is a general heel to her opponents by night.
Payton’s uplifted bear vanguard reveals only his moniker of Bear Drills, a reference to one of his devastating finishing moves.
Jason’s kasatha solarion, Hieronomo Jones, always insists on a fair fight based on the four-fold path of truth, valor, honor, and peace—and each of these words is tattooed on a fist.
Andrew’s dirindi witchwarper is a personal injury attorney by day and The Litigator by night, when his unitard that’s screen-printed with a suit and tie is often the last thing his opponents see before it’s lights out.
I’ll avoid any more spoilers now and say only this: I can’t wait for you all to watch us play this game! So, on Wednesday from 2–5 p.m. PDT, come stop by the Paizo Twitch stream, say hi, and watch some weird Starfinder wrestling.
Starfinder Managing Developer
Starfinder goes X.T.R.E.M.!
Monday, April 6, 2020