You know the GM is out to get you when -...

[zza ni]

(this is a light\comedy thread. not to be taken to heart and or put to flame).

i ask for any who wish to share their own finishing touches to the phrase: "you know the GM is out to get your (insert class name here) when (insert reason here).

try to keep it light. try to avoid lengthy reasons such as:
"you know the GM is out to get your CASTER when 'while the party is facing the goblin lord you meat his invisible stalker paladin\rogue mounted on his prized (winner of the staring contest) beholder'

ill give a few examples:

- You know the GM is out to get your DRUID when the land is a desert and all the non metalic armors are made from cactus.

- You know the GM is out to get your CASTER when he keeps tabs on the content of your spell components Pouch.

- You know the GM is out to get your BARBARIAN when every divine caster you meet only prepere Calm Emotion.

- You know when the GM is out to get your FIGHTER when the country your in just declaered the Rust Monster as their natinal (& protected) animal...also most lovable pet.

plaese share your own ideas.

[shroudb]

You know your DM is out to get your witch when 9/10 opponents are elves, halfelves and dragons.

You know your DM is out to get your paladin when in his city a law passes by majority vote that slaughter of innocents is legal.

[williamoak]

You know the GM is out to get your MAGUS when all enemies are fighters with the "disruptive" line of feats.

[lemeres]

shroudb wrote:

You know your DM is out to get your paladin when in his city a law passes by majority vote that slaughter of innocents is legal.

What about the slaughter of the guilty? Are they protected?

The only moral thing to do in this case is to stage a massive drive to graffiti EVERYTHING. Here is a spray can, Tiny Tim.

You know your GM is out to get your NINJA when you are raiding the castle where the evil Duke sprung to give everyone True Seeing.

You know your GM is out to get your ROGUE when you are at war with the nation of earth elemental.... for the next 3 months.

[zza ni]

you know your GM is out to get your RATLING CASTER when all the familiers that answer his ritual are cats

[Arch_Bishop]

You know your GM is desperately out to get your

witch:

(for being too cautious/staying always in the back/not having taken any damage at all)

, when he uses a cheetah to

sprint:

Once per hour, a cheetah can move at 10 times its normal speed (500 feet) when it makes a charge.

you and catch you off-guard.

[-Grijm-]

You know your GM is out to get your RANGER when there is no humans in the whole campaign after 3 games

[darkwarriorkarg]

You know your GM is out to get your wizard when every opportunity to rest is interrupted.
You know your GM is out to get your paladin when you fall from grace for not trying to redeem the baby-eating demon.

You know your gm is out to get your conjurer/summoner when every 2-bit rogue and spellcaster has a scroll of banishment.

[Charon's Little Helper]

You know your GM is out to get you when he he stabs you with a knife. (Not your character - you.)

[Issac Daneil]

You know your GM is out to get YOUR PARTY when he uses the poison in Wormwood Mutiny

[T.A.U.]

You know the GM is out to get your CASTERS & NON-HUMAN PCs (and your Brand-new Dwarf Sorcerer) when you went using a flying pyramid to another planet for a quest, and once there you discover that Casters and Non-humans are fatigued in that kind of world atmosphere, exhausted if you are both a Caster and a non-human... and the only party member who can do something useful is the human rogue (GM's girlfriend PC)

[Te'Shen]

You know your GM is out to get YOU when you try to RETURN to your party using the hallway they just used and all of the sudden there is a trap every 5'... and YOU are not a character with trapfinding or disable device.

[Snorb]

You know the DM is out to get you when tarrasques show up in the random encounter table.

At first level.

[Noir le Lotus]

You know the GM is out to get your nerves when he killed tne party, including your character with 2 page-long background and declares : "Ok, prologue is over. Roll some characters quickly to really begin the game ..."

You know when the GM is out to get your FIGHTER when the party has to fight a band of giants who happen to all be barbarians with Improved Sunder

[boring7]

You know the GM is out to get your ARCHER when every enemy has teleportation.

You know the GM is out to get your BARD when playing music causes all foes to fly into a berserk rage.

[Haskol]

You know the GM is out to get your PARTY when there is a deadly trap on every latrine door.

[TriOmegaZero]

You know the GM is out to get your PARTY when the mountain animates as a golem.

[Gregory Connolly]

You know your GM is out to get your ROGUE when after keeping your stolen magic items in an extra dimensional space for three months and getting Goggles of Night, scrolls of Nondetection and a wand of Detect Magic so you can identify your loot in pitch blackness, the former owner immediately teleports in and demands his possessions back.

[lemeres]

boring7 wrote:

You know the GM is out to get your BARD when playing music causes all foes to fly into a berserk rage.

That can be solved with the power of....DANCE.

Or you know, a nice rousing speech. Something about how they can never take your freedom...or was it dinner. One of the two.

[pennywit]

You know your GM is out to get your PARTY when you hear the dreaded sound "heh heh heh."

[Arachnofiend]

You know the GM is out to get your WITCH when suddenly all of your humanoid opponents are elves.

[Hugo Rune]

You know your GM is out to get you when he gets his special D20 out of its velvet padded jewellery box.

Or you know your GM is out to get you when he says "let's play The Tomb of Horrors"

[thegreenteagamer]

You know the GM is out to get your PLAYER pissed off when he chooses a 10-point buy.

[memorax]

You know the DM is out to get you when he drops a bunch of Rocs on you.

[Rob Duncan]

You know the GM is out to get you when...

...he pauses, says "let me look something up", and starts digging out books.

[pennywit]

You know the GM is out to get your PARTY when ...

... he uses the Random Bureaucracy Generator from Dynasties & Demagogues.

[Cam James]

You know your GM is out to get you when...
...Rocks falls. Everyone dies...
...You are sent on a quest to raid the Temple of the Tedori Monks...
...He sends your Cavaleer to raid the Kobold Caverns... Without the party rogue...
...You are sent to Flagstone Keep where random falgstones are golems...
...Cause railroads, err, i mean plot hooks...

[Te'Shen]

shroudb wrote:

You know your DM is out to get your witch when 9/10 opponents are elves, halfelves and dragons. . . .

Arachnofiend wrote:

You know the GM is out to get your WITCH when suddenly all of your humanoid opponents are elves.

Hmm... I'm guessing some DMs are passive aggressive about slumber hexes builds... add undead and constructs to the elves/dragons then.

[pennywit]

Te'Shen wrote:

shroudb wrote:

You know your DM is out to get your witch when 9/10 opponents are elves, halfelves and dragons. . . .

Arachnofiend wrote:

You know the GM is out to get your WITCH when suddenly all of your humanoid opponents are elves.

Hmm... I'm guessing a lot of DMs are passive aggressive about slumber hexes... add undead and constructs.

Indeed GMs are. Although the slumber hex isn't an encounter-killer if GMs remember the seldom-used "wake up the sleeping person" action.

[Claxon]

Issac Daneil wrote:

You know your GM is out to get YOUR PARTY when he uses the poison in Wormwood Mutiny

Funny story:

Spoiler:

Our GM did use the poison, but we were all immediately suspicious because we tried not to drink it at first and the first mate insisted that we drink. One character refused and was beaten. At that point we were certain, and everyone started throwing the drink overboard and using sleight of hand/stealth to do so without suspicion. Of course the fact that we weren't being gradually ground down into wastrels eventually caused them catch on. Especially when we convinced the orc quatermaster to let us into the same room with the containers of rum. Purify food and drink. Cast for hours. To cleanse the whole damn container. Both of them. It took days to accomplish but we had time.

It was at that point that the rest of the indentured crew was begin to rabblerouse with us and they "loyal" crew were starting to see it coming. In order to not completely derail the campaign with a TPK the GM moved along to the giant storm which gets the PCs off the boat by damaging the water stores and has you on the first island in the book.

When we returned to boat the members disloyal to Harrigan were killed by us and we were rewarded with the next ship that was captured. Where upon we ran away and started being our own little pirate outfit.

[Tricord]

When, after the first night's character creation, he says, "Good, now let's roll some back-up characters."

[lemeres]

memorax wrote:

You know the DM is out to get you when he drops a bunch of Rocs on you.

But I got mass charm monster prepared! We can totally reenact the last big scene of LotR!

[KahnyaGnorc]

You know the DM is out to get your ROGUE when the only time anything is trapped is either when you don't look for it or roll low.

You know the DM is out to get your MONK when every enemy has an aura that only damages unarmed or natural attacks.

You know the DM is out to get your RANGED CHARACTER when all encounters are in enclosed spaces where the enemy(ies) can reach every square.

You know the DM is out to get your WILDERNESS CHARACTER when, after the 3rd session, the campaign never leaves the city.

[tonyz]

You know your DM is out to get you when the game starts in a tavern run by Alcoholics Anonymous.

[John Kretzer]

You know the GM is out to get your CAVALIER when in the very first adventure the party is teleported to the other side of the world...without your mount.

You know your GM is out to get your Seductive character when all NPCs become the opposite sexual orientation or asexual.

You know Your GM is out to get your character who collects ahem the Male private parts as trophies when all of your enemies suddenly become female.

[C4ptainSeven]

You know your GM is out to get your werewolf when they have to become a Shepard.

[Jasque]

You know the GM is out to get your PARTY when (s)he shows up with a box of new monster miniatures.

[HyperMissingno]

You know the GM is out to get the WOOBIE when she brings in the Kuthite Inquisitor with a viscous weapon and the destruction domain.

[rknop]

You know the GM is out to get you when she sits down at the gaming table....

[Degoon Squad]

You know the GM out to get your Oracle with clouded vision when he sends horse nomads with flight arrows on an open plain against you

[Helcack]

You know your GM is out to get your nerves when he asks the distance of your darkvision and makes you roll perception checks for three minutes before he asks you to roll initiative.

[Bandw2]

You know your GM is out to get YOU when your vision begins to blur after you drink the kool-aid.

[Xedrek]

Te'Shen wrote:

shroudb wrote:

You know your DM is out to get your witch when 9/10 opponents are elves, halfelves and dragons. . . .

Arachnofiend wrote:

You know the GM is out to get your WITCH when suddenly all of your humanoid opponents are elves.

Hmm... I'm guessing some DMs are passive aggressive about slumber hexes builds... add undead and constructs to the elves/dragons then.

Good gods yes

You know your DM is out to get your WITCH when the band of knolls runs past the rest of the party to take down the first level witch in the back

[Silent Saturn]

You know the GM is out to get the ALCHEMIST when every group of random goblins has a wand of Shatter.

You know the GM is out to get the RANGER when, every time he chooses a new Favored Terrain, the story moves to a completely different terrain.

You know the GM is out to get the REACH WEAPON WIELDER when the battlegrid is nothing but 5' wide corridors.

You know the GM is out to get the ANIMAL COMPANION CLASS when he's trying to calculate the DC of a Handle Animal check every time the AC needs to do anything more complicated than lick itself.

You know the GM is out to get the GUNSLINGER when suddenly all the enemies are Tiny and not a single point of their 26 AC comes from armor.

[Skull]

You know the GM is out to get your SHADOWDANCER when hide in plain sight suddenly stops working.

[Avianfoo]

You know the GM out to get your Oracle with clouded vision when he sends assassins with arrows of slaying.

[Claxon]

Xedrek wrote:

Te'Shen wrote:

shroudb wrote:

You know your DM is out to get your witch when 9/10 opponents are elves, halfelves and dragons. . . .

Arachnofiend wrote:

You know the GM is out to get your WITCH when suddenly all of your humanoid opponents are elves.

Hmm... I'm guessing some DMs are passive aggressive about slumber hexes builds... add undead and constructs to the elves/dragons then.

Good gods yes

You know your DM is out to get your WITCH when the band of knolls runs past the rest of the party to take down the first level witch in the back

I'm sorry, but it's just good tactics to kill casters first. The group that I play with employs this tactic often, so when relatively intelligent humanoid opponents (such as gnolls) do the same to us it's hard to cry foul. This isn't a GM being a jerk necessarily, it is simply smart tactics to attack the unarmored guy in the back mumbling to himself. Whether it be witch, wizard, or some other caster is of little consequence.

Subsequently this is why our group travels in a line with one melee character upfront and another survival character in the back. Squishy characters go in the middle.

[Faelyn]

You know the GM is out to THE PARTY when he pulls out a deck of cards with a sly smile and says "Anyone want to draw a card?"

[Skull]

Claxon wrote:

Xedrek wrote:

Te'Shen wrote:

shroudb wrote:

You know your DM is out to get your witch when 9/10 opponents are elves, halfelves and dragons. . . .

Arachnofiend wrote:

You know the GM is out to get your WITCH when suddenly all of your humanoid opponents are elves.

Hmm... I'm guessing some DMs are passive aggressive about slumber hexes builds... add undead and constructs to the elves/dragons then.

Good gods yes

You know your DM is out to get your WITCH when the band of knolls runs past the rest of the party to take down the first level witch in the back

I'm sorry, but it's just good tactics to kill casters first. The group that I play with employs this tactic often, so when relatively intelligent humanoid opponents (such as gnolls) do the same to us it's hard to cry foul. This isn't a GM being a jerk necessarily, it is simply smart tactics to attack the unarmored guy in the back mumbling to himself. Whether it be witch, wizard, or some other caster is of little consequence.

Subsequently this is why our group travels in a line with one melee character upfront and another survival character in the back. Squishy characters go in the middle.

Just realized that a smart party would in fact 'hire' some mentally ill people to walk at the back and mumble to themselves when something stressful like combat starts. hehehe

[pennywit]

You know the GM is out to get your BARBARIAN when he says, "Today's scenario is a fancy party and Lady Grizelda's estate."

You know the GM is REALLY out to get your BARBARIAN when he says, "I'll need a Will save" for the third time that session.

You know the GM is out to get your WIZARD when the baddies have Improved Steal.

You know the GM is out to get your MERFOLK character when he says "OK, today's game is going to be on land."

You know the GM is out to get your GUNSLINGER when he says, "So, you wake up in the Stone Age ... "