You know the GM is out to get you when -...


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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber
TOZ wrote:
Christopher Dudley wrote:
He didn't burn your house down?
What kind of murderhobo has a house to burn down?

The kind who knows Tiny Hut, Secure Shelter, or Mage's Magnificent Mansion or who owns an Instant Fortress or Cloud Castle.

Shadow Lodge

Qakisst Vishtani wrote:
TOZ wrote:
Christopher Dudley wrote:
He didn't burn your house down?
What kind of murderhobo has a house to burn down?
I do.

Then you are no true murderhobo.

Silver Crusade

I had a DM that messed with the PCs by DM fiat, leaving them without gear, so often that my next PC would've been a monk/sorcerer so I didn't need any stinking gear!


TOZ wrote:
Qakisst Vishtani wrote:
TOZ wrote:
Christopher Dudley wrote:
He didn't burn your house down?
What kind of murderhobo has a house to burn down?
I do.
Then you are no true murderhobo.

Well, since no one I know ever plays a "Murderhobo" it's not a issue, is it?

Shadow Lodge

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DrDeth wrote:
Well, since no one I know ever plays a "Murderhobo" it's not a issue, is it?

Who asked you?

The Exchange

TOZ wrote:
Qakisst Vishtani wrote:
TOZ wrote:
Christopher Dudley wrote:
He didn't burn your house down?
What kind of murderhobo has a house to burn down?
I do.
Then you are no true murderhobo.

<Shuffles off feeling rejected.> Should have joined Nualia when I had the chance.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

You know the GM is out to get your WHOLE PARTY when it's game time.

Also I don't always have a house, but when I do, its a Taun-Taun.

Shadow Lodge

Petty Alchemy wrote:
You know your GM is out to get you when you find an intelligent weapon that asks if you "would like to destroy some evil today?".

I throw the sword into the middle of the horde of enemy mooks, then sit back and watch the fireworks.

Silver Crusade

From my experiences:

You know the DM is out to get you when barmaids are coated in contact poison.

You know the DM is out to get you when your first level gnome illusionist finds himself locked into a 5X5 room, squeezed in with a poison spewing iron golem.

You know the DM is out to get you when meteors rain from the heavens when you opt to try to start a blacksmith business.

And what I hath inflicted:

You know the DM is out to get you when you're a math focused engineer and he forces you to conclude that .99 is equivalent to 1 through a mathematical syllogism puzzle.

You know the DM is out to get you when you ask if you have something planned for when you return to your home city and he laughs maniacally.

You know the DM is out to get you when your DM includes time travel as a plot element, resulting in an Inception style diagram to keep track of who was when with where.

Liberty's Edge

You know your GM is out to get you when they say "Ok guys, let's get started."

You know your GM is out to get you when your character finds an arrow of [Character's Name] Slaying on a random mugger.


You know the GM is out to get you when the only way of getting the power to defeat the BBEG is a deal with a devil.

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32

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Krensky wrote:

You know your GM is out to get you when they say "Ok guys, let's get started."

You know your GM is out to get you when your character finds an arrow of [Character's Name] Slaying on a random mugger.

If he was really out to get you, you'd find it in [Character's Name].


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Christopher Dudley wrote:
You know your GM is out to get you when he says "I'll just roll on the Wandering Damage table..."

Dragon 95? Good times.

'Roll every dice you own for damage....'

RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32

William Dymock-Johnson wrote:
Christopher Dudley wrote:
You know your GM is out to get you when he says "I'll just roll on the Wandering Damage table..."

Dragon 95? Good times.

'Roll every dice you own for damage....'

Is that the same one that had the fumble table with "Character drops what he's holding. If this happens to be a sword or an axe, consult the Random Limb Loss Table"?

RPG Superstar 2015 Top 32

2 people marked this as a favorite.

He offers to run Bonekeep I and Bonekeep II, back to back.

Spoiler:
The whole party accepted. The table is next weekend. May Pharasma have mercy on us all.


You know your GM is out to get you when they say "It APPEARS to be...". (I use this constantly).


You know the DM is out to get you when he makes you roll perception every time you walk into a room.

Liberty's Edge

He yells "it's time to Vrock and Voll!"

The DM asks the group how many r are in Tarrasque.

The DM always points your character to suboptimals choices for ones character.

Shadow Lodge

Pathfinder Companion Subscriber

The DM starts smiling after you say something about what you think the next encounter will be...

Liberty's Edge

The game is set on the ocean. At some point during the session and before a encounter. The DM either hums or plays a clip of the iconic Jaws music.

The Dwarfs are not you standard ones. When the party encounters them they begin by singing "high ho, High ho it's off to work we go".

The Dm asks what color of dragon Smaug was in the last Hobbit movie.

Shadow Lodge

Angry Wiggles wrote:

He offers to run Bonekeep I and Bonekeep II, back to back.

** spoiler omitted **

I want to join in!


You know your DM is out to get you when ever room in the ceiling is thirty feet tall and has the floors and ceilings completely coated in spikes and resetting reverse gravity traps.


You know the GM is out to get you when he smiles & looks thoughtful when you ask the magic mirror "Can you teleport me anywhere?"


You know your DM is out to get your greedy player when he throws in a bunch of optional and dangerous quests but you could get lots of gold for it. Example in one of the adventures league things in 5th edition, he can choose to make the 2 displacer beasts run off after a certain amount of health gone or have them fight to the death. They leave a trail on purpose where you have the option to follow them to the cave. You know that they are 2 bloodied displacer beasts, but you also know by looking over the DMs shoulder that 300 gold exists in that cave, and that cave is completely optional and the beasts won't bother you again. But 300 gold in 5th edition is a lot. He even gives the party the option to split and lets you fight them alone if you so choose.


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When he starts talking about how hard it is to "challenge*" his players.

*"challenge" players has come to be shorthand-so far as I can see for TPK and make it not look like a "designed to TPK" encounter. -.- I hate that bloody word now.


When she comes to the game with suitcases of monster miniatures and the initiative order tracker is an excell spreadsheet with hundreds of entries already entered.

Ulp!


You know the GM is out to get the PARTY when he smiles and says, "So, who remembered to read the special section of the PRD I sent around earlier this week?"


You know the GM is out to get you when he says "I finally figured out how to do the Advanced template right."

Liberty's Edge

When he or she makes a passing reference to the legend of "Tucker's Kobolds."


You know the GM is out to get your Dalek when a blue box with a flashing light materialises.


I'm sure this has already been mentioned, but when the GM asks you to bring backup characters to the session.


The Rot Grub wrote:
I'm sure this has already been mentioned, but when the GM asks you to bring backup characters to the session.

Or like this:

GM:Man, i'd really like to play [insert class] some day. How about you guys?


HMMMMM! What does that say about me asking my players to create 3 PC's for our start of Rappan Athuk in January?


Killer DM #0706 wrote:

HMMMMM! What does that say about me asking my players to create 3 PC's for our start of Rappan Athuk in January?

With Rappan Athuk? That you're doing your job.


You know the GM is out to get you when....

You're level 1, on a ship at sea. You look behind you, and seen an entire armada coming your way....


When, "Guilty! The punishment is execution, sentence to be carried out immediately!" is the first sentence uttered by an NPC, five seconds into the game.

Silver Crusade

Jaelithe wrote:
When, "Guilty! The punishment is execution, sentence to be carried out immediately!" is the first sentence uttered by an NPC, five seconds into the game.

Hey, starting out the game with the heroes ready for execution is a time honored tradition!

I did it in a current 3+ year running campaign. Nothing organizes a group and makes them overcome their differences like having to escape from a sinking ship carrying them (and one of their horses) to their executions.

You know the DM's really out to get you when...

"Guilty! The punishment is execution, sentence to be carried out immediately!" is the first sentence uttered by an NPC, and then he points at your party barbarian and says, "Do your duty, Head Executioner."


Spook205 wrote:
Jaelithe wrote:
When, "Guilty! The punishment is execution, sentence to be carried out immediately!" is the first sentence uttered by an NPC, five seconds into the game.
Hey, starting out the game with the heroes ready for execution is a time honored tradition!

I'm familiar with quite a few of the variants, actually:

  • In a jail cell
  • Before a magistrate whose judgment is guilty and sentence is death
  • Chained to an oar aboard a war galley
  • Working a salt/coal/gold/dilithium mine
  • Lectured in a prison courtyard by a foreman who informs you that from this prison, "There is no escape"
  • Shanghaied/conscripted into the military
  • Or some variant/combination of these. There are plenty more.

    Liberty's Edge

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    Pfft.

    Real GMs start the campaign after the heroes have been executed.


    In other words, it's the Afterworld "from which there is no escape."


    Krensky wrote:

    Pfft.

    Real GMs start the campaign after the heroes have been executed.

    Done it.


    Jaelithe wrote:
    In other words, it's the Afterworld "from which there is no escape."

    Aaaand subverted. Now that you've escaped from your own death, the campaign really begins!!!

    Silver Crusade

    Vincent Takeda wrote:
    Krensky wrote:

    Pfft.

    Real GMs start the campaign after the heroes have been executed.

    Done it.

    For those who doubt him.

    If you're playing Traveler, this does occasionally happen even without GM shennigans.

    The Exchange

    The guy selling you your armour is designing them with weak points exploited by the first unarmed goblin you encounter.


    yellowdingo wrote:
    The guy selling you your armour is designing them with weak points exploited by the first unarmed goblin you encounter.

    Nah, that's just the dice being the dice.

    Grand Lodge

    Pathfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

    ...when he insists on playing Slim Whitman for the audio soundtrack.


    2 people marked this as a favorite.

    When the GM mentions having seen the Saw movies recently and enemies suddenly start doing subdual damage.


    MagusJanus wrote:
    When the GM mentions having seen the Saw movies recently and enemies suddenly start doing subdual damage.

    Or worse: "Hey guys! Did you see that Human Centipede movie?"


    Calex wrote:
    MagusJanus wrote:
    When the GM mentions having seen the Saw movies recently and enemies suddenly start doing subdual damage.
    Or worse: "Hey guys! Did you see that Human Centipede movie?"

    Just looked up that movie on Wikipedia, based on your post.

    Oh my god! What was a crazy concept.


    The GM hands you a Deck of Many Things with all the good cards removed and tells you to draw three cards. (Yes, it shouldn't work, but that is GM's fiat.)

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