"Eh, then we kill boring Birdchprunchers, maybe. Moggy am always able to make good fire. Good fire keep all happy!"
Reta's eyes narrow as Mungee issues the challenge, then widen again as Chuffy apparently accepts the challenge for her. Reaching out her hand for the rusty waraxe, she growls. "Reta want to see axe, want to find wat catch is...."
Reta inspects the axe.
Reta hands the axe back and shrugs. "Ok, Reta kill Mungee if you want her to."
"Yay! Reta kill Mungee! That be exciting<" Chuffy calls out to the gathered crowd.
[b]"Mungee so gonna kill Reta,"[/]b he whispers to Moggy.
Mog, still confident in Reta's ability happily takes the bet and watches to see what happens.
|
If Poog hadn't been starting to feel the ennui himself, he probably would say something about how this might be a bad idea, or that it might be better to come up with strange eating dares or new ways of making fire happen to honor Zarongel. Alas, he, too has fallen under the ennui, though the idea of chopping a goblin like that just seems weird.
He squints and watches.
Reta grasps the unwieldy axe, taking a few practice swipes, then moves over to Mungee. "Mungee holds still, no tricksies!" Raising the axe over her head, she swings down hard.
Munge hits the dirt in a bloody heap, everyone chitters excitedly, but nothing else happens.
Big Chief Chuffy walks over to Munge, and looks closely at him. If Munge doesn't move, he gives him a swift kick in the stomach. "Munge, you alive still?"
If he doesn't stir, Chuffy kicks him again. "Dumb Munge am make Chief Chuffy lose bet.".
Chuffy walks back and hands Moggy the cowbell.
Mogmurch grins and rings his new cowbell in celebration. He knew that Munge was not so smarty, and Reta bigbad, afterall.
"Ding dong, the Munge is dead! Which ol' Munge? The dum-dum Munge. Ding, dong the dum-dum Munge is dead!"
"Now who want to play Mog fav-o-rit game? Me call it: Does it BOOM?!" With a deranged look upon his face, he pulled reagents from his pouch and looked to his usual mob of burn-dummies, er... helpers to bring him something new to blow up.
Still having his feelings hurt, Chuffy points Moggy at what was left of Mungee. "Could boom boom on old Mungee over there. Bet Moggy on which Munge arm am go most far when boom boom."
Everyone is concerned that the Chiefs are being reduced to making their own fun, there is much noise and commotion.
Following Munge’s failed attempt at adventure, Munkle Pupsquash leads four goblin dogs (Lil’ Flaky, Grumbles, Snortlick, and Chub-Chub) out of their rickety pen and
brings them to the platform in the middle of the clearing.
"Munge story woz rubbish! Best story was 'The Charge of the Most Powerful Goblins', where a group of goblin heroes, just like our Chiefs, made a brave rush at the walls of a long-legs city! The smart and handsome goblins leapt the moat, scaled the walls, and burned the whole place to the ground before riding off with all of the town’s pickles. Much laughter and they popular with the Goblin ladies, except the lady chief, who was popular with everybody - she look like pretty face Reta"
"This great amusement for Chiefs! The goblin dog sprint. Mounted on goblin dog the chieftains must race into the forest and jump over a fresh mud pit, climb a steep ridge, break a squash painted to look like a stupid gnome, rush back down the ridge, and jump over a clump of brambles before returning to the clearing! - Much cheering breaks out as everyone expects you to take up the challenge
Given the way these things can get protracted to badwrongfun levels, I have summarised the checks. Roll each one UNTIL you pass
DC15 Ride
DC15 Ride
DC5 Ride + AC10 attack (min 1 damage)
DC5 Ride + DC15 ride
Chuffy wrinkles his nose at the challenge. Remember to kill Munkle later. Him sneaky. . Chuffy didn't want to participate in the challenge, but he realized he had no choice but to accept it, or the tribe would turn against him.
"All goblins know Chuffy am best rider in whole world. Not need show again, but Chuffy will give tribe fun show of most great riding of Big Chief Chuffy. Will kill dumb gnome squash while am at it!"
Chuffy stands up, stretches, and moves to mount Chub Chub. He takes off on the first run, trying to set a good time.
Round one Ride
Round two Ride
Jumping over the pit and climbing the ridge was no problem for Chuffy. Now he had to try and attack the gnome squash!
Round three Ride plus Attack plus damage
Chuffy obliterated the squab as Chug Chug deftly flew by. He turned to head back down the ridge and over the brambles.
Round four Ride plus Ride
Chuffy hops to the ground, arms outstretched above his head. "Yes, yes, Chuffy am great! That why Chuffy am great boss of tribe! Let Chuffy hear it!"
Mogmurch snorts and snickers, he know why Munkle getting firey death glare from Poog right now. All Licktoads knew that fire priest was not much for riding, but he had carefully avoided letting this be known among the Birdcrunchers. But Mog said nothing, happy as usual to know something that few others know.
Mog shrugs and puts his reagents away again and picks Snortlick, the friendliest of the goblin-dogs. "Mog will ride. But if this no fun, Mog will find out, does you BOOM?"
;
Mogmurch's ride is not so skillful as Chuffy's as he trots along bouncing on the back of his doggy mount like a bobble headed doll, but he gets the job done. They barely make the jump over the mudpit but climb the ridge pretty well. Mog smacks the gnomey gourd and splats it. They make it back down the ridge, but Snortlick balks at jumping over the brambles and Mog must make a loop and try it again. Second jump is pretty impressive and Mog dismounts in the clearing and pats the panting goblin-dog on the head. He shrugs again. "Ok, that sorta fun. Mog no boom you today."
Reta eyes the goblin dogs skeptically, but shrugs and wipes the blood from hands, then hops on Lil' Flaky.
She has a little trouble getting the gdog to start, but then races into the forest, over the mud pit, and up the slope.
Atop the hill, she spurs the dog past the squash, neatly cutting it in half as she passes.
She wheels the goldog down the hill at breakneck speeds, but the dog is initially moving to fast to make the jump, stumbles, then wheels around to leap the brambles.
"See, Big Chief Chuffy am best in tribe! Thanks Munkle, Chuffy not kill you now," the rogue says with much gratitude. For him.
The Goblins still look worried, the Chiefs not yet happy enough.
A bunch of goblins move in, dragging a number of straw effigies representing some of the goblin chieftains’ conquests!
Six of these crude dummies are fashioned into dog shapes, three of them into horse shapes, and one particularly lumbering creation somewhat resembles an ogre – PA MUNCHMEAT! The straw figures are arranged in the clearing 10 feet from the front of the low platform, and each of you is handed a single star candle firework.
After the fireworks are distributed, Trimple Rotmouth, a recent convert to Zarongel under Poog’s tutelage takes centre stage – a hush descends as he waves his hands ominously.
”Zarongel bestest of all, he give us FIRE! The great burny burny hot hot!” the crowd oooohs!, In this game, the Chiefs going to shoot the fireworks into the straw stupids, setting them on fire!”
Ranged attack against horse
Ranged attack against horse
Ranged attack against ogre
Ranged attack against horse
Chuffy takes one of the offered candles, and sparks it up. "Watch out Reta, or Chuffy am shoot at you!". After threatening Reta, he turns around and fires at the straw figures. He targets the horses, for the most part, not being quite sure of the best way to strike them. He does fairly well, and just to be safe, he nails the ogre with a shot as well.
After seeing the destruction he brought to the horse figures, he smiles at Poog. "Zarongel like Big Chief Chuffy a lot, Poog. Maybe Chuffy should be priest, too."
Mog gets a funny look in his eye as he is handed fireworks, maybe he should think and plan carefully, but thinking never work well with boomy firework in hot little hand. Mog fires his in quick succession, aiming randomly to get as many burning as possible, cackling maniacally as he does so.
Retain squints her eyes at the effigies, then grins as her firework is lit. At Chuffy's comment, she sticks out her tongue and makes a rude sign with her hand. Pointing at the dogs, she fires.
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Chuffy grasps both hands, holding them over his head. "Looks like Chuffy am best again! Chuffy having fun showing he rule so much! This am fun, right, Poog?!"
"Poog shoot candle like he drunk,
Reta's shots, they just stunk,
Moggy candle not too bad,
but Chuffy wins and he am glad!"
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Chuffy wrecks the place, but the cumulative effect of so much fore is dead impressive and much left burning - Zarongel is pleased.
Trimple asides to Poog "This best thing ever - Chuffy make good high profile celebrity member and spokesgoblin for Church of Zarongelology, we recruit him, he recruit whole tribe" - much snickering.
Trimple awards Chuffy a elixir of hiding - "Make you gud sneakster"
"Chuffy already best sneaker. This am make Chuffy super bestest sneaker in da world!"
Reta spits on the ground, then throws her spent firework at a dog effigy.
Chuffy continued with his celebratory speech poem.
"Chuffy am to kill every dog,
Reta act like she in fog,
Poog not am good at no games,
Moggy only kinda good at setting flames."
Chuffy then starts doing his version of the funky chicken, no doubt inspiring the crowd of goblins.
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Mog enjoys the blaze and rings his cowbell along with Chuffy little song, replacing some of the lyrics in his head.
Chief Chuffy always in first place...
Too bad no gobby likes his face....
/Gloat on :p
Reta makes rude gestures behind Chuffy, staring daggers in his back.
Dillbu Tenthumbs comes forward now with a roll of twine leading off to a strange birdcage and a bag of rocks she hands over.
"Time for Killgull! You play this game, one end of a length of twine is tied to a seagull’s foot, while the other end is held by a tricky goblin! Other goblins hurl rocks at the stupid bird, trying to knock it out of the sky. The goblin holding the twine can jerk the string to make the goblins miss their throws at the bird. HAHAH VERY FUNNY IF YOU MISS!"
"Who playing?"
Reta quickly steps forward, determined to redeem herself after her last failure.
"Put twine on Reta and am throw rock at her! That am greatest game ever!". Chuffy steps forward to join in the game as well.
Mog nods, he not bad at throwing things. This might be fun.
"Put twine on Reta and am throw rock at her! That am greatest game ever!". Chuffy steps forward to join in the game as well.
Mogmurch snorts a laugh at this. "Tie one end to Reta, other to chief and see who pull hardest, drag loser through the mud. That good game too." Mog grinned, knowing full well that Reta was the stronger of the two.
Reta's eyes become slits and she growls at Chuffy. Realizing everyone is watching, you takes her hand off the dogslicer and begins limbering up for the next competition. Stoopid Chuffy. Think he big chief make-fun-of-Reta! Reta show Chuff whose laughs at end....