"Hahaha, Poog and Moggy two big dummies. Goblins am not care who most strongest, goblins care who am most sneakiest and who am stab, stab, stab! That am best goblin king, and who am gooder at riding dogs, right Poog?"
Tenthumbs looks pretty chuffed, and follows back her string to the cage.
You are surprised when the 'gull' turns out to be what is clearly a vulture in some kinds of shady substitution - it transpires they put all the gulls in a pie by accident and forgot to save some - so everyone has stuck gull feathers on the vulture 'good enough for Goblin work'...
Ranged attack
Damage
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Mog just shrugs in reply. He not want to be king, just trying to allay the tedium. And maybe remind Chief that nogobby is an island.
He snickers when he sees the vulture all dressed out in gull drag. Elbowing Poog, he points at it, "Lookit! Gobbies make one bird into another. Maybe when we done with game, we make it new bird again. FIRE-BIRD!"
Reta winds up and hurls the rock at the ugly seagull!
Ranged attack
Damage
Chuffy throws another rock at the goblin bird! "This am no hard. Bird easy to hit!"
Reta kicks the dirt as she misses, hocks a loogie, takes aim, and throws another rock. She screams in fury as she misses once more!
Mog shakes his head at Poog's antics. What? He praying now? 'Zarongel take the rock'???
He lines up his shot and puts a little extra oomph into this one. The skull bobs up and down on his face as he waggles his eyebrows, vamping for the crowd.
The rocks once again fly!
Chuffy pops the bird a good one.
Reta throws a rock...somewhere.
Poog throws a rock and there are some squeals...as the rock hits a spectator!
Mogmurch nails the bird, stunning it and dropping it to the earth! - Dillbi hands him a new rock - a steadfast gut-stone!
People are cheering and pushing the stunned vulture into the pot...
***
After the game of killgull, as the goblins are about to begin a strange puzzle game involving bags of wasps, boxes full of nettles, and jars of nails, Squealy Nord bursts into the clearing in a squealing panic.
Beat up and bruised, Squealy pounces forward, bows low, and begins snorting and pawing the ground with his trotters. He’s obviously trying to tell the chieftains
something, and he nuzzles close to Poog!
"Squealy Nord am want Poog ride him! Go for it, Poogie! He am more Poog's speed," Chuffy laughs, not realizing the pig was alarmed.
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The goblin devotee of Zarongel gets an alarmed look on his face and shakes his head. It takes a bit for Squealy to get this upset about something! He holds up his hand and offers some grunts and squeals to Squealy to try and calm his porcine companion down...
Poogz talkz to Squealy!
"When we got to truffley fields, a gang of ugly stupid longshanks were there with a stupid hut, and so we tried sneaking past, but the filthy monsters spotted us with their ugly dogs, and they cut us up to itty bitty bits and stuck goblins heads on shish-kebob sticks! THEY TRIED TO TERN ME INTO BAKUN!"
Squealy seems very upset.
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Poog pats Squealy gently then glances to Chuffy while poking Squealy with a Healy Stik.
"Chieftan Chuffy, wee kneid fastt chieftan meatin' now. After all, no need to panic all of the Birdcrunchers on 'Chieftan Busyness', right?
If the Chieftan is able to score some quiet time for the group to talk, Poog will impart a somewhat mangled but accurate translation of the NotBakinese above.
Reta watches Nord in confusion, then moves toward the perimeter of the village after Poog's suggestion. "What pig want now?"
Chuffy calls his subordinates close to him. "Crazy pig tell bad story. Longshanks coming to get tribe. Must go kill the Longshanks and dogs too! No one am pick on Chuffy
Tribe!"
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Mog takes his prize of a large stone and eyes it for a moment and then suddenly shoves it in his mouth and swallows. "Mmm, good rock. Fun game too." He nods, giving Dillbi high praise.
He gets a funny glint in his eye when he learns of longshanks nearby. "Maybe they same ones that kills our Licktoads... Mog want to find out does they BOOM!"
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Poog will run to gather up any possessions he may have forgotten for the party, and get ready to GO ON MISSION!.
The truffle field is close to a mile away — about the same distance a typical goblin would chase a puppy before getting bored or distracted. The Birdcruncher Chiefs know the woods well enough, but they have to pick their way around brambles, boulders, and other tricky terrain, which means the journey takes roughly an hour.
****
Two wagons, their wooden panels exquisitely carved and vibrantly painted, sit in this forest clearing. The first noticeable thing in the small dell is a burning campfire and three goblin heads stuck on narrow poles.
Logs for sitting and gear for cooking surround the campfire, and the smell of a greasy stew floats on the gentle summer breeze.
The men have with them some stinky horrible dogs that you are currently down wind of. Terrifyingly though, there are some horses with them, but the horses are tied to a rope. Good.
"Moggy, blowing up awful humans be good thing. Chuffy sneak up and stab!"
Chuffy tries to move stealthily to behind the large wagon in front of them.
Stealth
Chuffy shuffles into place...
The camp goes up in flames!
Bandits
Red Reflex
Ora Reflex
Yel Reflex
Gre Reflex
The bandits are destroyed instantly.
Two of the dogs get blasted to smithereens.
Initiative
Chuffy
Mogmurch
Poog
Reta
ENEMY
It is now a race to see who can kick the puppy!
R1
Chuffy
MogMurch
Poog
Reta
DOG!
Reta squeals in awe and claps, forgetting the need to be quiet, as the camp goes up in flame. Darting forward, she moves up to the side of the wagon, crouching behind it.
Chuffy charges the closest dog.
Attack
Damage plus
sneak attack, if flatfooted.
Mogmurch watches the fireball blast with a wicked gleam in his eye as he nods approvingly. "Oooh... Zarongel is prai-zed indeedy. Look Squealy, Longshanks is bakin now. Crispy bakin! Almost sad they not know what hit them."
Mog moves up behind Reta and the off into the brush, getting into position to throw a bomb.
The dog goes to nap-nap time with a blast of fire and blade. The horses break free and run from the flames!
/endcombat!
Chuffy gives a thumbs up to the others. "Am very good! Except big head Reta. Poog and Moggy make good fire!"
After defeating the truffle-hunting goblins, the Sczarni bandits stole the goblins’ truffle bag and pitched their dogslicers and shortbows into the woods with their headless bodies.
The bandits even took poor Slipwhittle’s toe scratcher and used it to shave some of the pilfered truffles into their stewpot. Though the goblin shad only just started to hunt for truffles, they managed to get four (each the size of a baby’s fist) before being attacked.
In the dirty longshanks ugly wagons, the smart and good looking goblins find a bundle of four adamantine arrows, a tin box filled with various bits of jewelry (worth 140 gp total), a well-preserved ham, three jugs of mead (worth 2 gp each), a wooden box filled with 1 pound of cloves (worth 15 gp), a brass prosthetic foot (worth 2 gp), and strange string of beads with one particularly curious bead on it...
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In the dirty longshanks ugly wagons, the smart and good looking goblins find a bundle of four adamantine arrows, a tin box filled with various bits of jewelry (worth 140 gp total), a well-preserved ham, three jugs of mead (worth 2 gp each), a wooden box filled with 1 pound of cloves (worth 15 gp), a brass prosthetic foot (worth 2 gp), and strange string of beads with one particularly curious bead on it...
"Stupyd longshankz. Waistyng al that meet. Grrrr." And then that strange string of beads.
Poog looks for sparkly magic stuff!
AND THENnnnn
"Mebbe chek two make sure no other stinky longshanks around? Then use hut to bring all meet bak to Birdcruncherz?"
Reta glares at Chuffy. "Bah!" She exclaims, then begins rifling through the longshanks' belongings. Picking up the brass foot, she holds it out to Chuffy. "Big Chief Chuffy can shove this up his fart hole!"
Chuffy claims the ham, and takes a big bite out of it. "Big head for you, big foot for you too!"
Poog checks the necklace, it turns out to be a lesser strand of prayer bead,s with only a bead of blessing remaining.
Squealy looks pretty excited and stands by another trail expectantly - you know its the trail to the truffle fields!
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"Squealy fownd trael to bettr trufflez seims laygit letz get some mor!"
Poog will bounce up the trail excitedly once he's sure that the other goblins are going to head along. He's not foolish enough to go it alone. Even with Squealy around, there's some situations that call for big-headed warriors, lots of boom and pain-in-the-rear chieftans. This might be one of them!
Reta keeps her blade out and moves to follow Squealy. "Show us the way, pig."
"Dat some pig, alright. Find more truffles, pig. "
A huge oak stands on the north edge of a narrow clearing. Its trunk is covered in vines, and its tangled roots provide a healthy bed known to be the source of the best truffles in the area.
Fallen trees and a few large rocks are spread out through this wide clearing. A ruined silo slumps not far away.
This small glade is actually part of the back acreage of an abandoned farmstead. Rocky and poor in nutrients, this land is overgrown and tangled from disuse. While the clearing is known to produce the best truff les in the area, the goblins are cautious about venturing to the field too often because horses sometimes graze in this area and dogs roam the meadow hunting rabbits—and sometimes goblins.
The goblins have even spotted a hunter prowling this part of land who has taken down truff le-hunting goblins more than once with his trusty bow.
From previous trips over the past couple of months, the Birdcruncher goblins discovered that the farmer hasn’t been seen in a while, and they determined they could return to the Bestest Truffle Field and safely hunt for truffles.
Hidden in this field is lovely truffles.
Pick a spot on the map to search, and roll three survival checks.
Squealy has the best truffle nose in the business, and suggests the oak (1)
Chuffy will look at the tree just south of the fallen log on the right/center lower part of the map.
Survival
Survival
Survival
Reta begins wandering through the grove to the south.
Mog searches in a shady spot between two trees and a big rock.
Chuffy finds dirt...!
Reta finds two delicious truffles!
Mogmurch finds three delicious truffles!
Poog gets over to the old Oak tree, this towering oak casts shade over much of the clearing, its canopy taller than the other trees in the forest. He finds three of the biggest and most pungent truffles (better than Mogmurch's ones)!
"Dumb truffles hiding from Chuffy. Chuffy am good boss, not am good truffle finder. Dats why we gots pig!"
Reta holds her two truffles and peers at the others' finds.
Poog is all happy and euphoric. Holding his bestest truffles aloft like they waz Zorongels babies he is like the happiest Goblin ever.
Whilst holding them aloft he looks closely at the strange vines on the tree, he doesn't remember them being here before... he doesn't think that them reaching for him is normal either....! Poog has caught on just in time!
Chuffy
Mogmurch
Poog
Reta
ENEMY
R1
Mogmurch
Chuffy
ENEMY
Reta
Poog
Mog grins to hear Chief Chuffy grousing but his smile falls when he sees Poog's yet more impressive haul. Meh... he have pig nose helping him. Zarongel too probably... But then as Poog looks up, Mogmurch follows his gaze and sees something nasty up in big tree.
Sprinting to close the gap, Mog pulls his reagents and lobs a bomb at whatever the thing is. "Watch out, Poog! Here comes tha BOOM!"