Chuffy keeps attacking the flanked construct!
Attack
Damage
If sneak attack applies, damage.
E 45!
The machine is rattling and shaking!
So close...!
Reta!?
Though heavily injured, Reta hacks at the burning man.
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The strange construct rattles and shakes, and then clunks to an abrubt stop, spewing flames and fireworks flaring in all directions - so pretty!
Not long after the Chiefs left (and long before it could be revealed as part of the feast), the goblin chieftain effigy that Reg Runtweed and Plunger wheeled out began acting strangely.
It started slowly enough. At first, some of the nearby goblins thought their eyes were playing tricks on them when another goblin claimed the statue moved. Others said they heard voices talking about eating their tender, green flesh. Some of the goblins chose not to say anything, thinking that it was a chieftain trick and the big bosses were actually keeping an eye on the tribe while they were away to make sure none of the dumb goblins messed things up too much—or sat in their throne-chairs!
The effigy that the goblins built was intended as an endearing gesture celebrating their chieftains’ past accomplishments. Reg Runtweed and some other goblins ventured to the sites of their chieftains’ heroic battles and collected trophies that would remind them of their mighty victories. Unknown to Reg, one of the goblins snatched the skull of Vorka—the cannibalistic goblin druid and incorporated it and some of her bones into the statue.
Now her vileness seethes through the effigy, causing it to shudder to some semblance of life.
With the goblin chief effigy destroyed, the goblins of the Birdcruncher tribe slowly slink from their hiding places, ready once again to cheer their beloved chieftains. They bowed and scraped at their fearless leaders before, but now— after witnessing the destruction of the fireworks-laden monstrosity—the goblins of the Birdcruncher tribe would follow the PCs into Hell. It takes a bit of time, but with a little cleaning up and additional cooking, the feast goes on!
See you all next year for WBG4!
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Poog runs over and pushes Squealy into the mud like Chuffy said, then gives him lots of loving taps with the wand, then Reta!
Poog times out a carefully placed tap on Mungee as Reta swings, so the axe starts cutting through and then he heals, so it looks like Reta's strike did nothing.
Poog fails at looking innocent!
"He wasn't ready yet! Do it again!"
Poog looks at the neatly clumped people, looks at his fireball wand, looks at the clump, shoves the wand back in his bag.
"Get'em, guys!" He finds a tree to sleep under while the other goblins are getting their murder on.
"I've found... THE ONE TRUFFLE! BOW DOWN BEFORE POOG, for the TRUFFLE IS ALL!" This is followed by maniacal cackling before the vine whacks him upside the back of the head.
"We be Lick toads! We make raid!
Put the longshanks to the blade!
Burn them up from feet to head,
Make them hurt, then make them dead!Cut the parents into ham,
Smush the babies into jam,
All the rest in pot get stewed,
We be Lick toads - you be food!"
*** This is the Gameplay thread for WBG, kick off is no later than September 19 as part of Game Day IV***
You are goblins of the Licktoad tribe, who live deep in Brinestump Marsh, south of the hated man-town called Sandpoint. Once, other goblins tried to burn Sandpoint down, and they would have been legends if they had succeeded. But they didn’t bring enough fire, and got themselves killed as a result.
Yesterday, your tribe discovered that one of your own had been using forbidden arts and was engaged in one of the greatest of taboos -writing things down. In fact, rumour holds that what he was writing was a history of your tribe! There’s no swifter way to bring about bad luck than stealing words out of your mind by writing them down, and so your tribe had no choice. You branded the goblin’s face with letters to punish him, which is why everyone calls him Scribbleface now, and then you ran him out of town, took all of his stuff, and burned down his hut.
That’s where things got interesting, because before you all burned down his hut, Chief Gutwad found a weird box within the building. Inside was a map and a lot of fireworks-fireworks that immediately came to use in burning the hut down. Then, this morning, Gutwad announced that tonight there would be a feast in order to drive out any lingering bad luck from Scribbleface’s poor decisions. But perhaps even more exciting, all of you have been secretly invited to meet at Chief Gutwad’s Moot House. Why would the chief want to speak to you? It can only mean that he’s got an important mission for you all... one that the other goblins of the tribe couldn’t pull off. This could be your chance to go down in Licktoad history!
The chief ’s Moot House lies at the centre of the village. It is a veritable museum of Licktoad heroics-crammed with trophies such as stolen weapons, shiny bits of treasure, and the brine-pickled bodies of dozens of brutally slaughtered small furry animals (mostly dogs). His Mighty Girthness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad rules Licktoad Village from atop the great Teeter Chair, which is 6 feet high. By tradition, Chief Gutwad does not speak directly to his subjects. Instead, he employs an advisor through whom he whispers instructions, for Chief Gutwad claims that the words that come out of his mouth are so mighty that they might frighten away all the words in the heads of lesser goblins. Only his duly appointed advisor, an overdressed, pompous goblin named Slorb, can handle the might of the chief’s words without fainting from fear.
Presently you are all milling around aimlessly outside the Moot House waiting to be called inside. Other Goblins are peering at you trying to determine whether you are about to get whacked into paste or whether something else 'interesting' is about to happen.
A female goblin stands outside the Moot House admiring her face in her silver mirror with one hand, and deftly pulling the legs off of a caterpillar with her other, laughing all the while.
Her toothy grin becomes a frown when she sees another goblin's reflection behind her own. Tossing the caterpillar on the ground and squishing it with her foot, she uses her now free hand to pick up a...rock?
Bone?
Something hard, anyway.
She turns and throws it as hard as she can at the goblin spying on her.
DON'T WATCH RETA! RETA! KILL! YOU!
She probably would have killed him too, but as she tosses the object, whatever it is, her bridal veil slides down in front of her eyes. Too frustrated to push it back up, she roars in anguish.
Mog walks up pushing some of the lesser goblins out of his way one attemps to fight back but backs down once Mog shows his explosive way to deal with dum dums "Get out Mog way or Mog blows you up today"
Little Goblin come and say!
Some need to save the Day!
Chuffy come and say okay!
All goblin will say hooray!
Chuffy proudly sings to himself as he is idlin in front of the moot house digging for a very very deep bugger with a very long fingernail which he had grown for just such an occasion.
Slorb sticks his head out of the door of the Moot House and beckons you inside. As you enter, he points to a few pelts and furs on the floor, and his fancy gesture seems to be a sign to sit.
The Moot House has only a single large room. At the far side is the Teeter Chair, and sitting precariously atop it is Chief Gutwald. The Chief is a small, but fat goblin. He barely fits in the chair and it looks like he and the whole fragile chair could collapse at any moment. For now, however, the chair holds. Slorb hurries over to the chair and climbs onto a stand beside.
"His Mighty Girthness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad has invited you here," he begins in his nasally voice, but Chief Gutwad holds up a hand to silence him.
"NO!" the Chief says in a deep, booming voice. "I speak to them."
Slorb looks surprised (almost as surprised as you) and about to say something, but then he lowers his head sheepishly. Your hands reflexively reach for your heads to avoid the thoughts and other words being blasted out by the magic power voice of the Chief!
“You all be heroes," the Chief says, still in his booming voice, loud enough for even Foofelah to hear. "Each of you." He pauses for a moment and looks at Foofelah. "Well, you say you are. I not so sure, but you here anyway. You are all best Licktoads but for me. And maybe but for Slorb. That you aren’t fleeing in terror from mighty sound of my voice is all the proof you should need. Yet soon, all Licktoad goblins will know your might, for I have picked you for a dangerous mission."
Chief Gutwad pauses for a moment and looks at your expressions. Then he continues. “You know about fireworks and map we found in Scribbleface’s hut. Fireworks were fun. But map is more fun. It shows a route to a place near the coast where Scribbleface found fireworks. And it says there are more fireworks there!"
He pauses again to look at your reactions, then continues, “I want them for Licktoads. You all go get them tomorrow. Tonight we have big bonfire to burn bad luck away from you, and we play many games. Much fun. Tomorrow you fetch me fireworks. If you meet men, you make them dead. If you meet dogs, you make them dead. If you meet horses, you make them dead. If you meet Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many, you maybe should run. And if you not find fireworks, you not come back or we feed you to Squealy Nord!”
Squealy Nord is really just a hyperactive piglet.
Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many: There are plenty of giant bugs in the swamp, but of late, the giant spider known as Lotslegs Eat Goblin Babies Many (known more often simply as “Lotslegs,”) is the most notorious. The giant spider lives somewhere in the marsh between the Licktoad village and the coast.
Mog laughs at the goblins that fear the small pig
And speaks with glee "I be bestes goblin to find the works of fire, but will need three more gobos to fights with me for this adventure will be dire"
Reta's eyes widen at the the idea of fireworks. Even wider than when she heard the chief speak directly, and that was pretty wide.
WHAT GAMES!? She asks using her inside voice. I CAN THROW MY TOAD FARTHER THAN ANYONE!
She lifts Spotol as though she's going to throw him but after a moments consideration decides she doesn't want to reveal her technique.
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Poog eagerly comes along to the meeting with the chieftain.
FIREWORKZ! PRAIZ ZARONGEL!
"Get firewurkz! Kill longleggz! Kill horsez! Maybe kill Lostlegz! Luk for xtra firewurks for Zarongel's blessing! PRAIZ ZARONGEL, for he IZ MIGHTY and GOBLIN!"
Poog's ready to go NOW, but chieftan-boss says bonfire burn bad away, as is Zarongel's Way!
Kn. Local
Kn. nature
Ohhhhh.... Chuffy muses as the Chief makes his speech he is far too busy staring at Reta's rear to fully comprehend the fact that they are being sent of to die buzt joins the chant none the less!
Goblins make big fire day
kill them if they no saysay
Then we burn and light the sky
Goblin make you die die!
Taking the conversations as acceptance of their fate, Slorb ushers you all back out of the tent, as he does he shoves a cure map into Chuffys hand. "Prepare for feast tonight. Then you go on quest tomorrow morning. Go!"
***
Outside there is already the start of activity with a gaggle of Goblins starting to lay on wood for what will likely be a gigantic bonfire.
For the morning and most of the afternoon, the goblins work hard to build a bonfire out branches, sticks, and the remains of Scribbleface’s hut. As night falls, a group of four struggling goblins carry the Teeter Chair (with Chief Gutwad sitting atop it) out to the site of the bonfire. The chief is holding a huge firework that he lights and points at the giant pile of wood. A moment later, a ball of flame and showers of sparks bursts from the tube with a thunderous boom and sets the bonfire alight. The goblins cheer as the flames catch on and the bonfire roars into the night sky.
This signals the start of an all-night party that features lots of good things to eat (snails, fish, and snakes). The chief brings out a barrel of fermenting cider apples early on and most goblins get drunk very quickly.
There is much talk of a magic show. Goblins begin milling around wondering who is going to be disappeared into jam.
Chuffy does as he is commanded and spends the time before the feast with sharpening his many knives with the help of a furry little kitty that had found it's way into his tent recently. Sadly it didn't find it's way out again...
Reta is one of the first goblins to partake in the Chiefs apples. She's a hero after all and deserves the best!
FIRE! She screams as the chief lights the bonfire. When the flames roar to life she starts dancing with wild abandon, flailing her limbs and taking no care to avoid other goblins she throws herself fully into the celebrations.
Goblin eyes turn to Poog and Mog, to see what they guts iz made of.
Mog takes a apple and gobbles it down with one bite he looks at the rest of the goblins with glee and joins 8th the revelry
There is much excitement building in the village around the campfire, the words 'Squealy' and 'Nord' bandied around, the idea starts gaining momentum and soon enough half the village is standing by a 20' diameter pit that is 10' deep. Tethered to a pole in the middle is the porcine namesake himself; "WHO IS GOBLINS ENOUGH TO DANCE HIS BACK!" goes the cry, and suddenly all eyes are on you!
Mog gets the the pig and falls soon after
Reta steps over Mog, laughing as he lands on the ground and...
deftly mounts the pig.
RETA WILL CONQUER SQUEALY NORD!
She whispers into the night air, wondering how majestic she looks as she rides the mighty boar.
Chuffy is once again fascinated by Reta's rump as she rides the pig... a goblin can dream from time to time.
Mogmurch gets pumped unceremoniously into the mud and makes a resounding thump on the side of the pen. The Goblins all wince at the impact, but then quietly giggle at his groans of pain.
His thump not as hurty... because he's drunk on Cider apples!
Reta rides the piggy like a champ. The Goblins are excited that someone managed, but also slightly devastated about no one breaking an arm.
The eyes shift to Poog and Chuffy!
Ride
Ride
Ride
Looking to impress the Goblin ladies chuffy mounts the piggy and rides his way to glory.
Poog speaks to the piggy who seems all legit and lets him on without a fuss - the Goblins are amazed. The mean piggy pig then smacks Poog into the wall and into the mud, dislodging him. Poog looks betrayed, Piggy explains "One day we might be bestest frendz, but that not TODAY!"
Chuffy rides the unwilling Piggy though!
"CHAMPIUNZ! LEGEND GOBLINS!" the crowd goes wild.
Two bottles are brought forward as reward, one to Chuffy and one to Reta - “Dragon Brew Gourd” - (an elixir of fire breath).
***
The night thus continues until another cheer goes up from the crowd and a wicker basket is held aloft goes the challenge to the excited Goblins - and with that the basket is opened and some of the contents held for all to see - Bull slugs are black, wriggling slugs the size of sausages. Even among the goblins, they’re considered particularly foul-tasting and, because of the large amounts of slime they exude, difficult to chew.
[b]"One minute to eat a full bag of sluggies!"[b] cries the slug holder, who pulls some soggy leaf napkins from his pocket.
Round 1: Reta grabs the bag without a word and chomps the first slug easily. She smiles broadly, slime dripping from her teeth.
Round 2: This second slug is tougher...
Round 3: but not by much,
Round 4: The third slug deftly dodges her teeth as she tries to mash it,
Round 5: and dies as quickly as the second slug despite its effort.
Round 6: Four slugs down.
" RETA IS GOD AMONG GOBLINS!" She drunkenly shouts as slime drips down her chin in waves.
Round 7: and there it is folks. 5 slugs in 42 seconds, Reta Bighead is headed to the nationals!
Reta attempts to throw the bag into the ground as hard as she can than raises her arms in glorious triumph.
Reta manages to eat a pile of fat bull slugs and hold her guts in... goblinz are equally impressed and disgusted!
mog takes the first two slugs with ease
the third one kept trying to free it's self from the grinding teeth of mog but is finally swallowed
Looking greener than normal but mog is victorious in the slug eating...
Mog manages to down some slugs - Goblins start bets on how long Mog can hold the lot down for. Current wager is two dog eyes and a random ear.
Chuffy is so proud of his riding skills he has no time for bullslugs.
Eyes on Poog. Literally.
Poog does the lot but doesn't spit the skins, the Goblins grin at the possibilities!
The Chief is convinced the heroes to be are worthy!
There is a hue and a cry of cheering as the award is brought forward and the Chiefs favourite weapon is loaned to the group - the mighty 'Gorge of Gluttons'! If you lose it on the trip though, heads will roll.
"Now time for NEW GAME!" is the cry that gets the Goblins interested "Hide or get Clubbed!" - the Goblins go berserk! "You takes the dare, you run into the marsh with no weapons and find a good hidey spot - but you get found you get whacked!"
Reta eyes the dogslicer greedily. She goes to snatch it up buy is quickly distracted by the next game. Since Hide or Get clubbed meant no weapons she had to leave it anyway.
"RETA WILL HIDE BEST! BETTER THAN POOG, BETTER THAN MOG AND BETTER THAN CHUFFY. YOU WILL SEE RETA HIDE THE BEST!"
She dashes into the swamp and searches for a good place to hide. She finds a small spot among the roots of a tree and she crawls in and lays down. To pass the time she will eat a couple of her pickled halfling toes.
"RETA HIDE SO GOOD!" She whispers.
Chuffy is the master of swamp hiding and sneaks away into the swamp.
as mog runs to find a hiding place he drinks a potion reducing his already small frame even more
The party seems to be invisible.
After aimlessly walking around, the Goblins get bored, stop looking, and start whacking each other. A particularly whiny Goblin gets targeted. Food gets thrown.
You all stand up and the Goblins grumble that somehow you all cheated.
"Magic!" cries the Chief, and for your efforts, the goblin group is loaned the mystical Ring That Lets You Climb Real Good
Not satisfied with the level of blood and violence, the Goblins move onto the finale...!
"WE DAREZ YOU TO PLAY WITH RUSTY EARBITER!"
The Rusty Earbiter: The infamous Rusty Earbiter is a hollow coil of rusty wires, barrel hoops, bent swords, and thorny branches and vines that's kept behind the Moot House when not in use. So named for the fact that it's claimed a number of goblin ears in the past (indeed, three partially severed goblin ears can be seen tangled in its sharp internal coils), the Rusty Earbiter is both an object of fascination and fear for the Licktoads. A half-dozen eager goblins roll the 20-foot coil out from behind the Moot House with the typical number of slashed fingers and stabbed legs such a task normally brings.
After drunkenly succeeding in every other event Reta feels invincible.
"RETA DOES NOT FEAR THE RUSTY EARBITER!"
Reta can be heard whimpering throughout the trial.