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Have you ever been in a game, or been reading a game because it caught your interest, and then suddenly it just ends?
Not because anything is wrong, mind you. Sometimes too many players have to drop out. DMs will say they suddenly got busy or their life changed drastically and now they don't have time for the forseeable future.
Not any of that, but because without warning, the DM is just gone. You wait a few days, weeks, months, and nothing.
Like you can check the history of posts and the date when that last happened, and they were active, excited participants, for years in some cases, and then then just poof. Gone, and they never posted again.
I found myself going over some of my old games the other day and fondly remembered several of them, feeling nostalgic, and then trying to remember what happened to them. Then when I looked back, I remember "oh yeah." One day the DM just stopped.
Has that ever happened to any of you?
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It's been far more often that players vanish.
Sometimes with reasonable concerns, sometimes without warning.
I've tried in the past to warn folks if I was about to be or was out of game for a period of time.
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That's fair. Come to think of it, there have been multiple times where players just disappear.
One notable player I knew from being in a game on the Midnight setting Against the Shadow Forums, as well as a game on the Paizo boards, mentioned the city he was in was on the direct path of a hurricane and would probably not be able to post for a few weeks. He stopped posting altogether on both forums after that.
In that case it's fairly easy to assume what happened because of prior warning. But there have been others too.
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In my experience the specific case of a GM (or player) simply vanishing into the ether, never to be heard from again, has happened but far more of my games have been derailed by life issues happening to the GM/players or the GM/players losing interest in the game, for whatever reason.
I think we tend to *remember* the instances of people disappearing more because it's very disconcerting and even downright distressing, especially if it happens later on in a game's existence. One of the first games I joined here on the forums when I got into PbP ran for over 3 & 1/2 years with a very enthusiastic and active GM...and then one day they dropped off the face of the earth with no warning. To this day I still sometimes wonder about them and hope they're okay and that life just dictated they had to do a cold-turkey hard stop on PbP instead of the alternative :\
I've thought about this sort of thing enough that I've specifically asked my husband & brother to let my forum friends know (once the dust settles and when they can) if anything ever happens to me, so at least the people I play with will have some sort of closure.
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Unfortunately I’m my experience their seems to be an increase in flaky players at least in my area lately. I get it life happens and work Aldo gets on the way.
Except unless the person boss told them they had to do overtime 15mins before the game starts, I see no reason not to give the rest of the players and the Dm advance notice. It happens one twice enough is enough
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All I can say about the missing players is that the truth is out there.
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There are a lot of usernames I don't see anymore, that bring about a pang of sadness when I'm reminded of them.
I was thinking about this very thing the other day. I hope they are all doing well.
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I agree. Mikaze was good people.
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Sadly the reality is likely some of them are likely some of the 900,000 in the US 5,730,000 globally who have disappeared in the last 2 years.
The worst one for me is I had an online friend that lived in California near one of the big deadly fires a few years ago we never heard back from her.
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I agree. Mikaze was good people.
She will return one day. I know it.
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I agree. Mikaze was good people.
She will return one day. I know it.
Keep the Faith, Freehold. Keep the Faith.
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There are a lot of usernames I don't see anymore, that bring about a pang of sadness when I'm reminded of them.
Do I make you sad?
I just lurk here.... in the dark....
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I mean, mostly I wish you would disappear, but all of the forum history has gotten kinda fuzzy in my memory so I might just be mistaking you for someone else.
Hard to say who deserves my vague displeasure and who doesn't when they aren't clearly sticking their foot on one side or other of the line.
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Have you ever been in a game, or been reading a game because it caught your interest, and then suddenly it just ends?
Not because anything is wrong, mind you. Sometimes too many players have to drop out. DMs will say they suddenly got busy or their life changed drastically and now they don't have time for the forseeable future.
Not any of that, but because without warning, the DM is just gone. You wait a few days, weeks, months, and nothing.
Like you can check the history of posts and the date when that last happened, and they were active, excited participants, for years in some cases, and then then just poof. Gone, and they never posted again.
I found myself going over some of my old games the other day and fondly remembered several of them, feeling nostalgic, and then trying to remember what happened to them. Then when I looked back, I remember "oh yeah." One day the DM just stopped.
Has that ever happened to any of you?
I've had several PBPs where yes, the GM just disappeared. While I'd say player flake happens more often, usually the player flake is predicated by something like "hi I'm starting college soon but I am SURE I'll still have time to post..." and then they disappear and it becomes plainly obvious why. More often when I've had GM flake (I can think of at least three instances and there are probably more) they do just disappear without a word. You don't know if they got bored with the game and decided to just drop it, or if they died suddenly.
In one case, where at first a GM disappeared, they returned several months later to say, "I'm so sorry I disappeared, I got overwhelmed, didn't know what to do, and then a week passed, and then I was too embarrassed to post."
I expect that this is often the reason for many GM disappearances. (And thank goodness it is this and not that they are dead). Player ones too, but especially GM. Taking on GMing PBPs has its own particular challenges, and if you're not experienced or didn't expect players to post at a certain pace (faster or slower than you planned for) it can really get.
Auntie DQ has some advice for GMs who feel like this. It is intended to be kind, but firm:
- Any player worth having in your group will always think far, far more highly of you if you are able to show up and say "I am really overwhelmed and I need some time." Or ask for advice. Or even say, "I wasn't expecting GMing to be this difficult and it is taking more time than I expected. I am going to have to close the game."
- Any GM who ever is able to be honest with themselves and their group about when they need to drop -- I keep track of those GMs. I do so not to avoid them, but to know to give them a second chance. Because by being honest about their situation and accountable, I know I can trust them. And that is an essential quality in a GM. And the fact that they can know and admit their limits means likely when they run a game later, they are much likely to be able to be realistic about their ability to commit. When considering applying to a game, I check GM's campaign profiles and others games to see how their games ended. While finished campaigns are always a great sign of a good GM, I will give any GM a chance if they closed a game by having integrity and clarity to say "I have to close the game." I know I can still trust them and whether the game goes short or long, it will be a solid game for as long as we can last.
- Any GM who just flakes without notice, I know never to take on another game they run later (some disappear for a year and then come back without any explanation or apology to prior players). Likewise when applying to recruitments I always skip anyone where I can see the GM has a history of disappearing without explanation. Just recently I saw what looked like a really promising recruitment, but saw that the GM's prior four campaigns all ended with the GM disappearing just a week or two into the game with no notice, warning, or explanation. If they had five chances of doing the right thing and failed to, I can feel pretty sure the fifth time will not be the charm.
- So you might feel less embarrassed by not saying anything, but your behavior is much more embarrassing by just disappearing. And any shame you feel in admitting you can't continue should be absolved when inevitably you will find most players will be very forgiving.
- Players and GMs alike, please also just let us know you can't play so we know you're not dead. We worry about you, and it would really put our minds at ease. Thank you.
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I'm still fairly new to Pbp so I don't recall anyone vanishing completely. What I'm seriously concerned about is the current geopolitical situation escalating to the point where transatlantic internet cables are sabotaged. Something like this Of course this would mean lot more and worse issues than just being cut out of Pbp and Roll20-games, but this keeps constantly worrying me.
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I mean, mostly I wish you would disappear, but all of the forum history has gotten kinda fuzzy in my memory so I might just be mistaking you for someone else.
Hard to say who deserves my vague displeasure and who doesn't when they aren't clearly sticking their foot on one side or other of the line.
It's true that many of the "Old Guard" have vanished from these forums, or hardly ever post at all. Yet I've seen Set hanging around occasionally, and it's reassuring to see you're still here! :)
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I add Deadmanwalking to the list of people I appreciated who disappeared suddenly from the boards.
December 2020? That doesn’t feel right, has it really been that long since DMW posted? Could’ve sworn they posted stuff over the summer
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I miss ciretose.
I think.
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If you ever meet Yellow Dingo IRL, please tell him the Cleaves was completed.
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If you ever meet Yellow Dingo IRL, please tell him the Cleaves was completed.
Still keeping this thread going, myself, as are you.
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Online games are different than online posters.
I think the thing that gets some people to Ghost PbPs is that, while it seems like it should be a campaign where one can post on one's own time, making it perfect -- in reality it can feel more like one is constantly in the game. I think burn-out happens.
As far as just Messageboards posting, things have just gotten so toxic. I fondly remember in '05, '06, '07 when there were, like, just a couple hundred of us and we all kinda recognized each other. I miss Saern the most I think. I haven't seen Celestial Healer or Fake Healer in a long while, it seems, and I miss The Jade & Farewell2Kings. I used to like reading James Keegan's posts. I don't think I've seen any of them here in years. The community has just changed. Of course it has, things change after years and years. But it used to be a much better place to come and post.
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I won't mention their name because I don't ask permission to do so, but we lost another forum member this week.
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It wasn't me!
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I won't mention their name because I don't ask permission to do so, but we lost another forum member this week.
I respect your attention to privacy but I am concerned about a few members I have not seen in a while. If they are still with us but off the message boards please let them know to PM or email me.
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I won't mention their name because I don't ask permission to do so, but we lost another forum member this week.I respect your attention to privacy but I am concerned about a few members I have not seen in a while. If they are still with us but off the message boards please let them know to PM or email me.
When this person PM'd me here they made it pretty clear they had no intention of coming back to the Forums, and were considering putting the dice away for good. When I offered them my email address if they wanted to stay in touch, they said that email wasn't something they did but if they ever got the impulse to sign in and take a look around, they'd PM me. They didn't respond to my final PM to them, either, which tells me they've stopped coming back around to check messages, too (something they said they'd probably end up doing as part of stepping away).
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I'm still alive, in case anyone was wondering.
I'm not really playing PF or SF at all anymore. In fact, the only reason I signed in today was to post a link to my eBay store, where I'm selling off more of my Pathfinder book collection. I expect to be posting new items weekly for the next few months.
Check my profile for contact links if you want to get in touch.
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Worried about Set.
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Worried about Set.
Set's crossed my mind a couple of times, too.
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What a strange coincidence. I've had that exact verse playing on repeat in my head for the last two days!
I've never met anyone here in person, either. A couple of folks are now friends with me on Facebook, which is very cool, and I've carried on pretty extensive communications with others via the private message system here on the boards. I feel confident enough in many of my interactions with people here to consider them as friends and hope that they feel the same. And if there are any other FB users here who'd like to kill time by reading stupid memes, puns, and my occasional rants about society there feel free to let me know and I'll send you the link to the page...lol
And thanks for the "uber positivity" mention. For many, many years I was pretty pessimistic and felt that was pretty much the only reaction I had to the way society and other things are headed. Also, dealing with depression for years and years didn't always help my outlook. But I decided a few years ago that as hard as it often is, I'm going to try and find good and positive things whenever and wherever I can. I don't always succeed, and sometimes things out in the real world become too heavy and the darker thoughts and feelings seep out. I won't say anything beyond this much but the political and societal changes in the last six or eight years have brought out the worst in me in some ways but I try to not spread that around too much and keep those opinions to myself or at least within a small group of like-minded friends. But even in the darkest of times there will always be memes about cats and dogs doing silly things and I have a lot of very supportive friends and family. To paraphrase Hawkeye from M*A*S*H*, I won't let the bastards win.
