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The threat of mutually assured destruction.
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But...what protects us from us?
Ants, or napalm, your choice.
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Seven Sisters.
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The threat of mutually assured destruction.
That’s just MAD, man!
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[Kahn]COSMO!!!![/Kahn]
Our very existence is Cosmo's fault. We have underestimated him yet again.
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I am required by law to wonder: what is the biological result on myself to eating this much chicken over time.
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Nerd confession.
I named my home LAN Amber but have never read any of the Amber books.
I am a fake geek boy. ;_;
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I am required by law to wonder: what is the biological result on myself to eating this much chicken over time.
You become the WereChicken, scourge of barnyard corn and ravaging producer of infinite breakfasts?
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That sounds preferable to turning into the Chicken Lady from Kids in the Hall.
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But only marginally.
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But only marginally.
Ohohoh~! To the contrary!
Now, let's presume Pathfinder.
You become the WereChicken, scourge of barnyard corn and ravaging producer of infinite breakfasts?
Therianthrope needs to be within a single size category.
Why does this matter? Because chickens are tiny, and I am... not.
*pats belly*
So, starting here, that means, to make it a viable thing, the creature needs to get swole - aka dire.
So, after looking here, in a totally exhaustive search (meaning I gave up after four) it appears that non-3PP Dire Animals are made Dire Animals by increasing the HD to four, or (if already 4 or more) doubling it. Additionally, it increases by one size category! That's what we need! Also other changes.
So starting with a chicken, we know it needs 4 hit dice - that doesn't really matter in PF (it did in 3.5e) - but it is small, now, and that is what's ideal.
Rats go from 2/15/11 -> 10/17/13
Standard size-change from tiny to small doesn't cover this exactly - it's more like giant simple template... but even then, not quite, there, either.
So let's presume a +8 strength, -2 dex, and +2 con.
Looking at hyena, it goes from 14/15/15 to 18/15/15. Hrm.
That's a +4 Strength, but no change to anything.
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that's where I realize that, although I started with Core animals, several of the dire animals I've found are actually 3pp. Dang it!
So, going back to wolf: 13/15/15 -> 19/15/17.
Ah! Much more consistent - it's not perfect, but it's closer.
And that makes it clear that we can get therianthrope - sorry, "lycanthrope" from chickens.
Seems like that strength increase is arbitrary - just enough to make it no longer a penalty or by a +4. The Dex doesn't change, and the Con gets a +2. They also get a boost in HD.
Nice!
The size increase increases damage, but otherwise it's the same.
Rats don't get the +1nAC, but they get a ludicrous speed increase. They lose weapon finesse and gain a "danger" bite (disease).
Let's presuppose that we get the suckier end of both deals - no speed increase, no nAC bonus, no HD increase, and no "danger" bite.
That leaves the stat increase and size increase.
So that means, with a dire chicken, it's abilities are 10/11/14.
Not bad!
Buuuuut, it also makes us rather easy to hit and doesn't notably increase our hp. Worthy of note, the changes each creature gets also increases its CR by one step - but the changes that we take do not. Our goal is to hit a glorious CR 1/4 () - either way, dealing 1d4 damage on a bite, AC 11, 6 hp, and the drift ability doesn't make for a very potent creature.
All that is lower AC and damage than the CR 1/4 cat. There is more hp than the cat, but it doesn't matter, as a single hit will end the creature either way.
It is lower AC, attack, and damage than a CR 1/4 kobold. Again, more hp (by 1; still not enough to save it from most attacks).
As everyone knows, chickens be rockin' ninja , but let's just go for "basic competence" - to that end, I'd add dodge as a bonus feat to represent a chicken's bouncy-fluttery way of movement compared to other creatures and increase it's AC by 1. That might be considered OP, so a +1 increase to nAC might be similar enough for our purposes. At last we feel like a full member of the "CR 1/4" club!
Now that we have everything settled, let's get on to the therianthrope!
In general, I take a +2 Wis and -2 Cha , but we'll go with it.
While in animal and hybrid form, that's an extra +2 Str, Con, and nAC and DR 5/silver (), change shape, and lycanthropic empathy: chickens.
And that Wild Empathy? That is money, baby!
Now, really, there are two ways you can go about this build.
I could be a commoner and take the Chicken Infested flaw (3.5; it gets me a free feat and also, you know, lots of chickens), or I could go with a Ranger (high starting gold, natural ability with Handle Animal) and the Rich Parents trait (and as many other money-making traits as I can nab. Which is just money makin' money. Woo!
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That was beautiful.
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That was beautiful.
One tries.
*preens feathers*
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Would you believe, I couldn't fine a Nightcore version of that?
I can find several Weird Al turned Nightcore, just not that one.
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But...what protects us from us?
The general balance between laziness brilliance and desire to do evil
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Yeah, if I wasn't depressed and overly-anxious, I'd be Supervillain-level evil.
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Amby, I know you'll work your way through the depression and anxiety with time. And when that time comes, the world will tremble at your passing. I look forward to it.
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The world only trembles at my passage after I've been eating curried baked beans
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But...what protects us from us?The general balance between laziness brilliance and desire to do evil
I'd put up an argument but I can't be bothered.
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Yeah, if I wasn't depressed and overly-anxious, I'd be Supervillain-level evil.
I'm fighting the very same thing and have been for several months. I'm finally back on some of my meds, so maybe things will get better. If you want to talk, feel free to pm me anytime.
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Yeah, if I wasn't depressed and overly-anxious, I'd be Supervillain-level evil.
I will get you a swivel chair you can turn around in dramatically. It will help with both depression and supervillainous reveals.
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Yeah, if I wasn't depressed and overly-anxious, I'd be Supervillain-level evil.I'm fighting the very same thing and have been for several months. I'm finally back on some of my meds, so maybe things will get better. If you want to talk, feel free to pm me anytime.
Okay, you get a swivel chair too.
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Mr. Hormelbachev, TEAR DOWN THIS WALL.
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Okay, you get a swivel chair too.Yeah, if I wasn't depressed and overly-anxious, I'd be Supervillain-level evil.I'm fighting the very same thing and have been for several months. I'm finally back on some of my meds, so maybe things will get better. If you want to talk, feel free to pm me anytime.
Ahh, I wanted a swivel chair. :(
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You get a swivel stool!
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You know, I was going to make a silly thing where I combined the first part of "spam" and the last part of "pumpkin spice" (you know, like those cute couple names where you splice the individual names together) but I managed to just end up with "Spice" and now I have to go rethink my whole sense of humor.
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Pumpspamspice
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I got it! For sure, this time!
Pumice!
... wait, no, that's not quite righ-
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"Spamice"?
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“SPACE”
Nailed it! First try!
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SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE~!!
SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE~!!
Spiffy tiger-stripes, my dude.
SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE~!!
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SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE~!!SPAAACCCEEEE!!!!
Yeah, you're in space, mate. Good on you.
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But only marginally.Ohohoh~! To the contrary!
Now, let's presume Pathfinder.
You become the WereChicken, scourge of barnyard corn and ravaging producer of infinite breakfasts?Therianthrope needs to be within a single size category.
Why does this matter? Because chickens are tiny, and I am... not.
*pats belly*
So,...
Card rules. Cat people, when they get violent or aroused, they transform into a tiny cat.
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Luna Has A Secret For You.
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Lovely spaaaaaam, wonderful spam.
(Thus beginning the slow, inevitable descent of the thread into endless Python quotes)
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"Slow"-?
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"Slow"-?
Yeah, I wouldn't expect that.
>.>
<.<
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"Slow"-?Yeah, I wouldn't expect that.
>.>
<.<
No one expects the-
... slow degeneracy into Python quotes.
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Do we have any plans for how to prevent the mods attempt to use their Staff Pick to mine their way in through the protective bubble and get us?
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Did someone say mine?