Official Critique My Item Thread


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Shadow Lodge

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Riftcarver Bow
Aura Moderate Evocation and Transmutation; CL 8th
Slot None; Price 35,375 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
This +1 adaptive composite shortbow is roughly hewn from multiple large pieces of dark rock, but feels as though it is the same weight and balance as one made out of wood. Its bowstring is thickly woven from giant’s hair. This bow was originally crafted by dwarven druids to topple their giant foes.

When an arrow is pulled back in this bow, the rock limbs give out a low groan and easily stretch backwards, and the user can feel small tremors building in the projectile. As a standard action, the wielder of a riftcarver bow can choose to make a ranged trip attempt against a single target using any arrow. The user can make up to 5 successful trips per day (failed trip attempts do not count against this number). Alternatively, 3 times per day the wielder can use the ground breaker barbarian rage power (APG 76) (DC 14 Reflex) by attacking a square with the riftcarver bow. This ability creates roughly carved chasms in the ground, with protruding vicious spikes of stone, causing 2d6 piercing damage to any who fall on the difficult terrain (DC 14 Reflex for half damage).
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Stone Call, Greater Thunderstomp; Cost 17,500 gp

Spoiler:
Admittedly now, I see a TON wrong with this, but since it's my first year I'll just tuck that away in my pocket for the next 11 months!

Dark Archive RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8 aka FaxCelestis

Staff of the Vineyard I liked this item. Very thematically coherent, nice abilities, but not dramatically or cinematically powerful.

Catapult Ring I would have liked to see this include bull-rush capabilities for a creature flung into another. I also felt this was somewhat overpriced, especially for being a dramatically limited application of telekinesis.

Jailbird's Sweetheart This item made my personal keep list. It is cinematically powerful without being mechanically overpowered, and is an excellent option for a holdout weapon.

Deadeye's Shepherd I loved this item, but I felt it was too expensive, especially considering its status as a crossbow. Most crossbows fall out of use by the time this item becomes affordable, and by then it almost seems to be too little too late.

Rod of Ghost Teeth This item made my personal keep list. It is cinematically and mechanically dynamic without being mechanically overpowered, and it has both utilitarian and combative uses.

Grandmaster's Plate I feel like this was object/ability dissonance. I like the ability: it's powerful and thematically coherent with the "grandmaster" concept, but...Why is this armor?

Scarab Sages Modules Overlord

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Jaragil wrote:

Raven Leather

Aura moderate transmutation; CL 10th
Slot armor; Price 69,875 gp; Weight 20 lb.
Description
This +2 studded leather armor is made from oiled black leather and has been decorated with numerous feathers and beads of obsidian.

As a standard action the wearer can transform himself into a flock of ravens made out of shadows and spiraling feathers. This effect functions as gaseous form, except the wearer has a flying speed of 40 ft., fills a space of 10 ft. and every creature within this area is considered to have concealment. The wearer can stay in this shape for 10 minutes per day. This duration does not need to be consecutive, but it must be used in 1-minute increments.

Alternatively, the wearer can transform himself into a corporeal raven swarm. The wearer gains a +4 size bonus to Dexterity, a –2 penalty to Strength, fly 40 ft. (average), low-light vision, scent and the swarm traits. The wearer’s swarm attack deals 2d6 points of damage. Each round spent this way counts as 1 minute of the wearer’s normal time. If the wearer’s hit points drop below 0 while in the raven swarm shape, he immediately returns to his normal form, falls unconscious and is dying as normal. This is a polymorph effect.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, beast shape II, gaseous form; Cost 35,025 gp

This was my official comment in the judges chambers:

Owen wrote:
The visuals on this are great, and thematically it's going to support a wide range of character concepts. That said the mechanics are a bit wonky, and it would take a lot of work to fix. I think I'd ultimately do that work, but only if I wasn't on a deadline crunch. That's the cusp between a weak, weak keep, and a disappointed reject.

Part of the problem is that is doesn't give you much defense for 70,000 gp. A character wearing this has to survive long enough to use its cool raven powers, and this is helping him much.

Another part is that while I *presume* you use the same 10 minute duration for the raven swarm form, that's not 100% clear. It would't take much to make it clear, but as it the powers need some rewriting.
This is among my favorite things that didn't make the cut, and mostly it just needed something else to push it over the top. Something that made it more cool than just some form-shifting abilities, or tied it more closely to its armor. There's no particular reason this is raven leather, rather than a cloak of the raven, or a ring of the raven -- and no real reason it's a raven rather than a hawk, or crow, or bats.
One more step along either of those concepts and I'd have pushed for it much harder.

Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 8

Found it!

Rerouting shield
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 10th
Slot Shield; Price 41,970 gp; Weight 15 lbs
Description
This polished +2 heavy steel shield is perfectly round and has golden runes engraved ont its rim. When the wearer of the shield is aware that he is the target of an attacl, the shield can become a one-way portal that redirects the attack to another target. Activating this ability is an immediate action that must be used before the attack role is made. The new target of the attack must e within 30 ft. of the wearer and in line of sight. The AC of the new target is used to see if the attack hits. This ability can be used three times per day.

Alternatively, once a day, the shield's wearer can make a bull rush manoeuvre against one creature to force it to enter a one-way portal. When this ability is used the wearer of the shield gets a +4 bonus to his CMB. If the manoeuvre is successful the creature reappears up to 30 ft. of its initial position in any direction that is within line of sight of the wearer. The creature cannot reappear in solid objects and if no free space is available the attempt automatically fails. When using this ability the wearer of the shield cannot move with his target. A creature can decide not to resist the bull rush.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, dimension door; Cost 21,070 gp

Silver Crusade RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka mechaPoet

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Garrick Williams wrote:
Windpath Razor

The name is great, and the effects are neat. A lot of my critique comes from asking a lot of questions, so that's mostly how I'll be framing it. First of all, why is it a scimitar? And why can its howling wind only be unleashed while unsheathing the weapon? It seems like a power that could just as easily be on any weapon, or other handheld implement really. The unsheathing part seems to imply that it would be used on the first round of combat--okay, but what makes this weapon something you would keep sheathed, except to activate its power? If my adventurer is in an area where the negation of difficult terrain would be useful, such as wilderness or dungeon environments, I would probably just keep my weapon out ready for trouble. There's nothing here that seems to indicate that this would be a really neat thing to have when I'm ambushed with no weapon drawn. As someone else said, the bull rush is also a little unclear: does it have a particular CMB? Does it use the wielder's CMB for bull rush? Overall, I like the item but for me it lacks unity: why are these abilities tied to this item? I don't have an answer for that.

All that said, I really like that the offensive wind leaves behind something that helps the rest of the party navigate difficult terrain, and the image is very evocative. I was going to criticize this interaction a little bit by pointing out that pushing an enemy away seems at odds with leaving behind a path that encourages going toward them--but then I realized you could use it at very close lane to enable yourself to charge that opponent if they were too close initially. So that's neat!

Atavar wrote:
ROD OF VERSATILE CHANNELING

Ultimately, I'm sorry to say, this just feels like an item that grants a feat. Which isn't to say that it's not useful, just that it's not particularly more exciting than any metamagic rod (and the 3/day use seems to point at those as a comparison). I like what you're trying to do with the half-effects for non-neutral users, but presented this way as a penalty, it discourages those users from ever using it. A better way to present it may be to have its normal function be the half-effect, and then present the full-effectiveness as a bonus for neutral channel energy users.

Liberty's Edge RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16 , Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka JoelF847

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Rod of Illusory Casting
Aura none (see below); CL 5th
Slot none; Price 5,000 gp; Weight 3 lbs.

Description
This thin ebony wood rod is tipped with a shaft of white cedar. It allows the wielder to make illusions seem real, and spells that create tangible effects seem illusory. Three times per day, as part of casting a spell, the rod cloaks your verbal, somatic and material components in illusions that mask the spell being cast. Focus and divine focus components are not affected by cloaking a spell. When casting an illusion, pick any non-illusion spell on your spell list. When casting an non-illusion spell, pick any illusion spell on your spell list. Successful Spellcraft attempts to identify the spell you’re casting instead reveal the chosen spell. Cloaking a spell without a type of component can create false words, gestures, etc. Similarly, cloaking a spell as one that lacks a type of component will hide components under illusions.
The cloaked spell also responds to divination magic as if it had the aura of the chosen spell. For example, casting mislead and cloaking it as false life will respond to detect magic or arcane sight as a necromancy spell. The actual effects of the spell cast do not change, so casting a fireball spell cloaked as an invisibility spell will still produce a globe of fire, etc. The rod itself radiates no magic of any sort.

Construction
Requirements Craft Rod, magic aura, major image, misdirection; Cost 2,500 gp

Paizo Employee Designer , Marathon Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7

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Owen K. C. Stephens wrote:
Jaragil wrote:

Raven Leather

Aura moderate transmutation; CL 10th
Slot armor; Price 69,875 gp; Weight 20 lb.
Description
This +2 studded leather armor is made from oiled black leather and has been decorated with numerous feathers and beads of obsidian.

As a standard action the wearer can transform himself into a flock of ravens made out of shadows and spiraling feathers. This effect functions as gaseous form, except the wearer has a flying speed of 40 ft., fills a space of 10 ft. and every creature within this area is considered to have concealment. The wearer can stay in this shape for 10 minutes per day. This duration does not need to be consecutive, but it must be used in 1-minute increments.

Alternatively, the wearer can transform himself into a corporeal raven swarm. The wearer gains a +4 size bonus to Dexterity, a –2 penalty to Strength, fly 40 ft. (average), low-light vision, scent and the swarm traits. The wearer’s swarm attack deals 2d6 points of damage. Each round spent this way counts as 1 minute of the wearer’s normal time. If the wearer’s hit points drop below 0 while in the raven swarm shape, he immediately returns to his normal form, falls unconscious and is dying as normal. This is a polymorph effect.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, beast shape II, gaseous form; Cost 35,025 gp

This was my official comment in the judges chambers:

Owen wrote:
The visuals on this are great, and thematically it's going to support a wide range of character concepts. That said the mechanics are a bit wonky, and it would take a lot of work to fix. I think I'd ultimately do that work, but only if I wasn't on a deadline crunch. That's the cusp between a weak, weak keep, and a disappointed reject.
Part of the problem is that is doesn't give you much defense for 70,000 gp. A character wearing this has to survive long enough to use its cool raven powers, and...

Here's a snapshot of judge comments for this item:

*This armor spends only 4k out of nearly 70k on armor-type abilities and then everything else is a pair of wondrous-style raven transformation powers.

*I like the mental picture of how this armor looks, and being able to transform into a flock of anything is always fun.

*Nothing really stands out and makes me go, "Huh, that will really change things up and be surprising," unfortunately. Being able to use it in both combat and non-combat situations is a bonus.

*Formatting is good, but pricing seems way off. Some terminology inconsistencies ("flying speed" instead of "fly speed").

+what Owen already said.

Star Voter Season 9

So how does this work? Lean over, extend neck... One swift slice, please!

Dwarven Armor of Exploration
Aura faint transmutation; CL 7th
Slot armor; Price 17,000 gp; Weight 10 lbs.
Description

This +1 mithral chain shirt is particularly useful to underground explorers looking for new caverns, dungeons or mineral veins. When underground, the wearer may assume the form of a mud-like fluid with a verbal command. While in this form he gains the ability to enter the tiniest cracks in bedrock and move at 10 feet through solid stone. Conversely, this form is not suited to open spaces and imposes a Climb check penalty of -20. This form is also maneuverable underwater, granting a swim speed of 20 feet with the current but only 10 feet otherwise. For the duration of this form, the wearer is granted the earth and water subtypes and is able to detect the amount and type of any mineral within 60 feet. However, while in this form he may not cast any spells with a verbal, material or somatic component, nor physically attack another target.

Lastly, the wearer can attempt to merge in with the background, deflecting attention from himself. He gains a +10 circumstance bonus to Disguise checks to look like mud while moving, improving to +20 if he is still. Creatures with the dwarf subtype add a +5 to the bonus. The transformation to and from the mud form is a full-round action. The wearer can activate this feature any number of times a day, providing the total daily usage does not exceed 5 minutes. Time spent transforming to or from the mud form does not count against this total.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, elemental body I, locate object, creator must be a dwarf: Cost 8,500 gp

Dedicated Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka OwlbearRepublic

Mark D Griffin wrote:
Alchemist's Retort

Very good item, wouldn't have been surprised to see it make Top 32. Great, efficient use of existing mechanics to give bombs and alchemical devices a different role in combat. There may be some action economy concerns here that could be fine-tuned away (swift action to activate rather than free? wielder is staggered for a round after the shield goes off?), but overall, the idea and execution are both good. Cost shouldn't be exactly half of price, and the spell requirements don't make a ton of sense to me, but those are quibbles.

Silver Crusade Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9

Pathfinder Companion, Maps Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber

My item:

Initial version: Gnome Splat-Pelter:

Gnome Splat-Pelter

Aura moderate conjuration; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 13,550 gp; Weight 6 lbs

DESCRIPTION
The stock of this +2 heavy crossbow contains a magically-treated glass canister. The canister holds a small ochre jelly which is sustained by an enchantment on the weapon that allows the jelly to continue growing inside. The crossbow string is attached to a small metal cup; as such, a Splat-Pelter is unable to fire conventional crossbow bolts.

Three times per day as a reload action, the wielder can load an "ooze shot": a mechanism built into the stock extracts a portion of the ochre jelly and load it into the ammunition cup. An ooze shot deals 1 point of bludgeoning damage and 2d6 acid damage with a successful attack roll, and has a range increment of 30 feet. If the wielder takes more than 1 round to fire an ooze shot, or if the wielder rolls a natural 1 on their attack roll with an ooze shot, the jelly loaded in the Splat-Pelter escapes and cannot be retrieved, with potentially catastrophic implications for the local environment.

A Gnome Splat-Pelter may also use other objects as ammunition. The wielder may load an object similar in size and weight to a sling bullet or stone, and these objects behave as though they were fired from a sling in all ways.

Vials, bottles, and similar objects weighing 1 pound or less that possess a throwing range may also be fired from a Splat-Pelter. The range increments of these objects is 20 feet and the wielder takes a -4 improvised weapon penalty on the attack roll, as the Splat-Pelter is not designed to fire such things.

CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Far Shot, Create Food and Water; Cost 6,775 gp

Now, I already know I made two mistakes in development, so if I were to address those, I'm interested in feedback on the meat of the idea:

Gnome Splat-Pelter

Aura moderate conjuration; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 13,550 gp; Weight 6 lbs

DESCRIPTION
The stock of this +2 heavy crossbow contains a magically-treated glass canister. The canister holds a small ochre jelly which is sustained by an enchantment on the weapon that allows the jelly to continue growing inside. The crossbow string is attached to a small metal cup; as such, a Splat-Pelter is unable to fire conventional crossbow bolts.

Three times per day while reloading, the wielder can load an "ooze shot": a mechanism built into the stock extracts a portion of the ochre jelly and load it into the ammunition cup. An ooze shot deals 1 point of bludgeoning damage and 2d6 acid damage with a successful attack roll, and has a range increment of 30 feet. If the wielder takes more than 1 round to fire an ooze shot, or if the wielder rolls a natural 1 on their attack roll with an ooze shot, the jelly loaded in the Splat-Pelter escapes and cannot be retrieved, with potentially catastrophic implications for the local environment.

A Gnome Splat-Pelter may also use other objects as ammunition. The wielder may load an object similar in size and weight to a sling bullet or stone, and these objects behave as though they were fired from a sling in all ways.

Vials, bottles, and similar objects weighing 1 pound or less that possess a throwing range may also be fired from a Splat-Pelter. The range increments of these objects is 20 feet and the wielder takes a -4 improvised weapon penalty on the attack roll, as the Splat-Pelter is not designed to fire such things.

CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Far Shot, Create Food and Water; Cost 6,950 gp

I'll have some feedback on everyone else's things as time permits over the next week or so!

Scarab Sages Modules Overlord

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So here's something I would 't ding folks on, but is a great way to prove you're paying extra-close attention to how we do things.

Paizo does not hyphenate the suffix "-like" unless it is added to a word that ends in 'l' or 'e,' or to a word that has 3 or more syllables.
So it's "mudlike," not "mud-like."


BLACK-AND-WHITE SWORD
Aura moderate illusion; CL 9th;
Slot none; Price 95,710 gp; Weight 4 lbs.

DESCRIPTION

This +2 icy burst keen longsword is perfectly divided down the middle into two halves, one sooty black and the other platinum white. It sheds cool, silvery light when drawn. The black-and-white sword is able to overcome DR as though it were cold iron or silver. The damage from the icy burst property is only quasi-real; objects, and creatures that are immune to illusions, take only a single point of additional damage. If the wielder moves more than 5 feet on their turn, they take on an indistinct, colorless appearance, benefiting from the spell blur for 1 round. The sword has a shadowy power. When it is used to kill a living creature or destroy an undead, it acquires a charge. As a standard action, the wielder may brandish the sword and expend a charge to create a shadow evocation. The black-and-white sword may not collect or expend more than three charges in a day.

CONSTRUCTION

Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, blur, shadow evocation; Cost 48,110 gp

Dedicated Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka OwlbearRepublic

Mikael Sebag wrote:
Enlightened Jian

As you say, this isn't terribly inspired, but I upvoted it surprisingly often. I like an item that facilitates character concepts without becoming a concept-in-a-can, and you pulled that off here. I feel that this could be published and see plenty of use from players who want to run acrobatic, sword-wielding monks. I do question whether this stands up to price benchmarking against other flight/levitation/air walk items, but the perks for monks might insulate it from that market competition.

Star Voter Season 9

Owen K. C. Stephens wrote:

So here's something I would 't ding folks on, but is a great way to prove you're paying extra-close attention to how we do things.

Paizo does not hyphenate the suffix "-like" unless it is added to a word that ends in 'l' or 'e,' or to a word that has 3 or more syllables.
So it's "mudlike," not "mud-like."

Noted, sir! :)

Star Voter Season 6

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Varisian Dancing Chain
Aura faint transmutation; CL 5th
Slot armor; Price 10,250 gp; Weight 25 lbs.

Description
This +1 chain shirt, expertly crafted for maximum mobility, is made up of thousands of delicate and decorative interlocking links. The armor has a maximum Dexterity bonus of +6, and no armor check penalty.

Most significantly, the wearer may, as an immediate action once per round, attempt to reverse an attack of opportunity made against the wearer. When an enemy attempts an attack of opportunity against the wearer, the wearer may choose to make a reflex save with a DC equal to the enemy's attack roll. If successful, the enemy's attack of opportunity misses, and the wearer may instead make an attack of opportunity against the enemy.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, haste; Cost 5,250 gp


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Jaragil wrote:

Raven Leather

There is much coolness here, but it lost a vote with me against the Ice Fang and some kind of pick for a few reasons:

- Why studded leather instead of leather? It seems like it should have a more natural appearance.
- For its price range, why not go up a little bit and boost the bonus to armor? As it is, it's armor for someone who isn't using it for armor.
- ... which makes me wonder why it's not a cape, or maybe, some sort of artifact armor. Most utility/defense-but-not-really-a-defense items are capes, like the cape of the mountebank.
- The wording is a little confusing, but that wouldn't count much against you in my book, unless it were up against a really superior entry.

Overall, I'd say an above-average execution of a neat but weakly conceived concept.

Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9

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Pathfinder Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

I'd love some feedback if anyone has the chance:

Springheart
Aura weak transmutation, moderate evocation; CL 7th
Slot ring Price 850 gp
Description
Occasionally given as a token of affection by fey creatures, Springheart appears to be a dull green caterpillar tightly curled up in a spiral. When placed into the palm of a hand it uncurls, crawls to a free finger, and encircles it. After a few moments it brightens to a lustrous green and gold color. Springheart provides the wearer with 1 temporary hit point, replenished each morning at dawn. On command it begins a 2 round process - on the first round it uncurls, climbs to the end of a finger, and quickly wraps itself in a cocoon; on the next round it bursts forth as an incorporeal butterfly that departs to carry a message to a specific individual as Sending (but without a chance to fail if the recipient is on another plane.) The cocoon then crumbles to dust and Springheart is destroyed, while the incorporeal butterfly returns to the First World after delivering the message.

If the wearer should die without having used the Sending power, one round afterward Springheart begins the process on its own, taking the sad tidings to the former wearer's dearest loved one.

Construction
Requirements Forge Ring, Virtue, Sending Cost 425 gp

Scarab Sages Star Voter Season 8

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Pathfinder Card Game, Lost Omens, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

Raw Meat Hook
Aura strong enchantment and necromancy CL 15th
Slot none; Price 59,324 gp; Weight 10 lbs.

Description
This +2 wounding ogre hook has several wicked barbs along the side, used for impaling foes. It smells of rancid meat, a stench any ogre wouldn’t mind; this also led to its name, a simple one that most ogres can remember.
You gain the ability to grapple by impaling your target with the hook. The wielder can attempt a combat maneuver check to grapple his opponent as a standard action, provoking attacks of opportunity as normal. Due to the weapon's size, you cannot use it to grapple creatures more than 3 size categories smaller than you. You cannot use this weapon to attack while you are using it to grapple an opponent. While maintaining a grapple with this weapon you may only choose to move or do damage. When dealing damage to your grappled opponent, you use the raw meat hook's weapon damage (including bleed damage) rather than your unarmed strike damage. Each round the raw meat hook remains impaled in the target it deals an additional 1 bleed damage, as if dealt by the wounding ability. You are still considered grappled, though you do not have to be adjacent to the creature to continue the grapple.
You may drop the weapon as a free action, ending the grapple, but the hook remains impaled in the target. Removing the raw meat hook is a full-round action that provokes an attack of opportunity and deals the weapon's damage to the impaled creature. While the grapple is maintained, the impaled creature must succeed on a combat maneuver check (DC equal to the opponent's CMD) in order to remove it.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor bleed, hold person; Cost 29,824 gp

Will give feedback on others in a bit!

Star Voter Season 9

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Lady Firedove wrote:
Varisian Dancing Chain

I like it. My guess is that it didn't scream "Varisian" to the judges. I'm not sure how that could be remedied - my guess is that something that makes the reader look at it and recognize is ethnicity. Correct me if I'm wrong but aren't veils and/or thin scarves part of varisian dress? Also certain colors have meaning to them. Incorporate that in somehow and I'd bet you'd be drawing a map tonight ;)


Shield of the Fallen
Aura Faint Necromancy; CL 5th
Slot Shield; Price 14,770 gp; Weight 20 lbs.
Description
This +1 heavy bronze shield has a flat face except for an embossed inverted V upon it. On command twice per day, the shield's wearer may use Deathwatch, as the spell except the area is a 10ft. radius emanation centred on the wearer which lasts 10 minutes. This effect ends if the shield is removed.

Additionally, if the shield's wearer dies while holding the shield, their body will be held in a state of stasis, as the spell Gentle Repose. Unlike the spell, this effect only works if the person is wearing the shield at the time of the death, and will not work if placed on an already dead body. This effect lasts until the shield is removed from the body.

Originally created on a far flung world by a civilization of warriors known only as Spartans, older versions of this shield have been found with the phrase "Come back with your shield or on it" engraved on the inner side. These shields are now highly prized among warrior families as heirlooms, passed down to progressive generations from fallen parent to child.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, gentle repose, deathwatch; Cost 7,385 gp

The Exchange

Betrayer's Blade
Aura faint transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 32,702 gp; Weight 1 lb.

Description
This +1 speed dagger is finely made with a red leather handle and a pommel embossed on both sides with the face of a regal man in profile. When a creature wielding this dagger makes a successful feint against a target, that target is also denied its Dexterity bonus to AC for the bonus attack granted by the weapon’s speed ability.

Once per day, a creature wielding this weapon may use their Bluff skill bonus in place of their melee attack bonus while attacking with this weapon. If this attack follows a successful feint, the attack does an additional 2d6 damage. This effect only applies to the first attack, and not to the bonus attack granted by the speed ability.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, haste, unprepared combatant; Cost 16,502 gp

Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8

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Here is my item. I appreciate any feedback and will try to share my thoughts on others' items as time permits. Thanks in advance!

Warbreaker’s Staff
Aura moderate abjuration; CL 11th
Slot none; Price 46,200 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
First crafted long ago by an order of pacifists, this staff appears to be made from glass or crystal, but it is far sturdier. The staff allows use of the following spells:
Dispel magic (1 charge)
Sanctuary (1 charge)
Shatter (1 charge)
Both dispel magic and shatter can only be used to target weapons. In addition to these abilities, the staff grants its wielder the Improved Sunder feat, ignoring any prerequisites. When used in a sunder attempt on a weapon, the staff ignores the first 5 points of the weapon’s hardness, and deals damage as a quarterstaff, with a +2 enhancement bonus to the damage roll. This ability functions even when the staff is out of charges. For all other attacks, including sunder attempts against items that are not weapons, the staff functions as a masterwork quarterstaff. When the staff reduces a weapon to 0 hit points, that weapon appears to transform into the same crystalline substance as the staff itself, before shattering into pieces.
Construction
Requirements Craft Staff, Craft Magical Arms and Armor, Improved Sunder, dispel magic, sanctuary, shatter; Cost 23,100 gp

Silver Crusade RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka mechaPoet

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Mark D Griffin wrote:
Alchemist's Retort

Overall, this is a neat item. The writing could be tighter in a couple of places (some unnecessary m-dashes in the second paragraph, awkward phrasing on where/how the cone goes).

There's really one main glaring problem, though--who is this shield for? Alchemists don't have shield proficiency! This would either require strange feats on an alchemist or specific multi-classing. It seems like an important oversight.

Mikael Sebag wrote:
Enlightened Jian

Concise, tight writing on this one. Clear in execution and Wuxia-inspired theme. A few things, though:

1) Monks aren't proficient with longswords!
2) I question why the air walk ability is tied to a sword. It just sort of . . . happens. I would have liked to see a little more unity here in how the sword's "sword-ness" interacts with this ability, even just a little more flavor text than just the description of the sword itself.
3) How is a monk getting the necessary air walk and spiritual weapon requirements for this item's creation? Neither of these spells seem to be able to the Quinggong Monk, let alone your typical spell-less monk.

Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 8

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The Big L wrote:

Shield of the Fallen

Aura Faint Necromancy; CL 5th
Slot Shield; Price 14,770 gp; Weight 20 lbs.
Description
This +1 heavy bronze shield has a flat face except for an embossed inverted V upon it. On command twice per day, the shield's wearer may use Deathwatch, as the spell except the area is a 10ft. radius emanation centred on the wearer which lasts 10 minutes. This effect ends if the shield is removed.

Additionally, if the shield's wearer dies while holding the shield, their body will be held in a state of stasis, as the spell Gentle Repose. Unlike the spell, this effect only works if the person is wearing the shield at the time of the death, and will not work if placed on an already dead body. This effect lasts until the shield is removed from the body.

Originally created on a far flung world by a civilization of warriors known only as Spartans, older versions of this shield have been found with the phrase "Come back with your shield or on it" engraved on the inner side. These shields are now highly prized among warrior families as heirlooms, passed down to progressive generations from fallen parent to child.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, gentle repose, deathwatch; Cost 7,385 gp

I do not remember seeing it but I like the general idea. It lacks another thematic power to give it more punch. Seems over priced for what it does. Also, the last paragraph should go. That sort of flavor text doesn't help you with voters and judges.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 16 , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9 aka Petty Alchemy

I'm going to get back to a lot of others, but Springheart is an item I've been dying to give feedback on.

@Jeremy Corff - Springheart: I loved this item. The flavor was so great. I'd gladly incorporate it in my games. However, I found that I could not vote for it in this contest, because it did not feel like a Pathfinder ring in function. It felt like a (brilliantly) converted wondrous item.

Silver Crusade RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 32 , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka mechaPoet

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Jeremy Corff wrote:
Springheart

Well first of all, it's too damn cute, and the second problem is that I have only two ring slots, which interferes with my desire to buy a dozen seriously it's so cute.

Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Ring of the Clockwork Sentinel
Aura moderate enchantment; CL 11th
Slot ring; Price 20,000 gp; Weight
Description

This heavy brass ring appears to be three thin rings joined together with a small clockwork face on top. Each ring is covered in ten runes and can rotate, clicking with each turn. The face is made up of two tiny rubies and an open brass rectangle resembling a mouth displaying a single combination of three runes at any given time.
To lock the ring and activate its powers, the wearer must spend one minute concentrating on a combination of runes from the three thinner rings and then rotate the rings to a different combination. Once locked, the ring can only be removed by the wearer rotating the three rings to the specified combination, break enchantment, limited wish, miracle or wish. If the wearer dies, the ring can be removed after one hour of trying combinations.
If a creature attempts to remove (or disarm) an item from the wearer’s possession without permission (no action to grant permission) the ring’s face animates and audibly protests, chirping and whirling for 1 round; it also constricts the wearer’s finger enough to waken the wearer from a normal sleep. The creature must make a DC 19 Will save or be unable to remove any items from the wearer for 10 rounds. This is a mind-affecting, compulsion enchantment.
Once per day, through a series of facial expressions and clicks the ring can provide the distance (clicking more frequently with proximity) and direction to the location of a stolen item. The item must be within 1 mile and have been in the wearer’s possession for at least 1 hour within the past 24 hours.

Construction
Requirements Forge Ring, alarm, geas, locate object; Cost 10,000 gp

Dedicated Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka OwlbearRepublic

Acre wrote:


Mail of Ash Woven Ramparts

First off, the wearer should leave a smoke trail after movement, not a "move action," which sometimes won't involve movement.

This item seems a little overpowered to me. The marginal price of the smoke power is only 15k or so (after the price of the +2 armor base); for that, you can create a very effective barrier or trap that can both blind and block multiple foes. Escaping requires an "overrun combat maneuver check"; it's not clear whether that requires a separate action or not, but if it does, then getting trapped is very bad news even if the wearer's CMD is weak. The item's power level also scales weirdly, because its usefulness greatly depends upon the wearer's speed and CMD.

All of that said, the imagery is cool, and there's nothing way out of line here. I probably upvoted this item about as much as I downvoted it.

Dark Archive RPG Superstar 2012 Top 16 , Star Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8 aka FaxCelestis

Jeremy Corff wrote:

I'd love some feedback if anyone has the chance:

Springheart

This was my favorite item of the competition, hands down. Simple, affordable, thematic, cinematic, potential for the dramatic in the hands of a DM...so much bang out of so little buck.

Silver Crusade Star Voter Season 8

Talon
Aura moderate evocation; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 25,650 gp; Weight 7 lbs.
Description
This sturdy weapon acts as a +1 adaptive holy composite longbow.
Talon is embossed just above the hand guard with an emerald encrusted golden tree encircled in silver. Three times per day, Talon can generate an arrow of pure positive energy. When fired at a living creature this arrow will heal the target as cure light wounds (CL 5) empowered with additional positive energy from the holy aspect of the bow (1d8+5+2d6). This action resolves as a touch attack. If the archer has the ability to fire multiple arrows in a round then each arrow can be altered up to the maximum the archer can fire or the limit of three per day, whichever comes first. Each time one of these arrows is fired one of the emeralds turns clear. All emeralds are recharged with the next dawn.
If targeted at an undead creature, or other creature susceptible to positive energy, the arrow resolves as a touch attack and deals damage equal to its healing ability (Will DC 12 for half).
Construction
Requirements Craft Arms and Armor, warp wood, cure light wounds, holy smite, creator must be good; Cost 12,825 gp

Contributor , Dedicated Voter Season 8, Dedicated Voter Season 9

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Here was mine. :P

Celerity Blade
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 47,315 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
Forged with an infusion of quicksilver and quickling blood, this +1 speed mithral longsword’s mirrorlike blade shimmers as droplets of mercurial liquid course from hilt to point. This weapon is nimble despite being a longsword, and functions as a light weapon. The crossguard depicts the visage of a quickling that changes expressions ranging from sneering at foes to smiling when blood is drawn.

The celerity blade harnesses the energy of the fey creature and grants the wielder a charge attack that does not need to move in a straight line. The wielder’s base land speed is doubled while charging, leaving streaks of silver trailing behind.

This blade’s swiftness grants the wielder the ability to hide its movement from view, and on the first round of initiative targets are considered flat-footed whether they have acted in the round or not.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, cat’s grace, lighten object, haste; Cost 25,815 gp

Dedicated Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka OwlbearRepublic

Tothric wrote:
Grave-Nettle

The pervasive, minor formatting errors really add up in this item. The mechanics leave me with some questions about what happens when the wielder tries to create more zombies than he or she can control.

Overall, this is a pretty basic item that offers little flavor or utility beyond the 1/day use of animate dead. Strong name, though.

Paizo Employee Designer , Marathon Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Garrick Williams wrote:

Windpath Razor

Aura faint evocation; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 20,315 gp; Weight 4 lbs.
Description
The blade of this +1 scimitar resonates a soft hum in the breeze. Three times per day as a free action while unsheathing the weapon, the wielder may unleash a sudden torrent of howling wind in a 30 foot line that bull rushes the first creature hit. This does not provoke an attack of opportunity.

Shimmering air continues to briskly flow within this 30 foot line for 1 round. Allies that perform the charge, move, run, or withdraw actions through at least two squares of this wind trail begin hovering 1 foot above the ground and ignore difficult terrain for the remainder of the movement. These allies must land on a solid surface at the end of their turn.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, air step or gust of wind, bladed dash; Cost 10,315 gp

Collected Judge comments:

*More wind/storm/lightning!

*Does the brisk air that lasts for 1 round have any other effects than allowing easier charges and the like? For instance, the effects of a gust of wind?

*Only about 10% of the price is for actual weapon abilities. The rest is for the 3/day torrent that could easily be a wondrous wind item.

*I think I've seen this sword in an anime somewhere.

*This would be a fun sword for an airbender a sylph or djinni.

*Formatting is good, but the possibility of using the main ability in one combat—yikes!

*Nothing really new here.

Paizo Employee Designer , Marathon Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7

Atavar wrote:

ROD OF VERSATILE CHANNELING

Aura strong necromancy; CL 17th
Slot none; Price 11,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.

Description
This rod appears to be made of a single, thin piece of intricately carved, black and white marble. A wielder who normally channels positive energy may instead use the rod to channel negative energy. Alternatively, a wielder who normally channels negative energy may instead use the rod to channel positive energy. In either case, the wielder uses the rod instead of her holy or unholy symbol when channeling energy in this manner. The rod may be used up to three times per day.
If the wielder is a necromancer, a neutral cleric who worships a neutral deity, or a neutral cleric who does not worship a deity, then the rod works as described. For all other wielders, using the rod is more difficult, and it becomes less effective or even somewhat harmful to the wielder. If such a wielder uses the rod to channel energy that would heal her of damage then she is only healed half of the usual number of hit points (minimum 1). If such a wielder uses the rod to channel energy that would harm her targets then she takes half of that damage herself, although she can still make a Will save to take only one quarter damage (minimum 1).

Construction
Requirements Craft Rod, Versatile Channeler; Cost 5,500 gp

Collected Judge comments:

*Necromancers don't actually channel, they spend their uses to Command Undead.

*We already had a highly similar switching polarity wondrous item in the Top 32 a few years back.

Dedicated Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka OwlbearRepublic

1 person marked this as a favorite.
King Tius wrote:
Staff of the Vineyard

I upvoted this one a lot. Good theme, good physical description, and the non-spell abilities really fit the spell list. The only drawback here is that all of the non-spell abilities are very close to existing Feat or spell effects. One dramatic, original, wine-themed ability might have put this staff over the top. Even as it is, this is one of my favorites.

Paizo Employee Designer , Marathon Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7

Mark D Griffin wrote:

I would love some feedback on my item

Alchemist's Retort
Aura faint transmutation; CL 5th
Slot shield; Price 7,000 gp; Weight 6lbs.
Description
This +1 light steel shield is covered in alchemical symbols mostly obscured by a patchwork of scorch marks and corrosion, but is no less effective in combat.

The shield's hollow back can be loaded with alchemical splash weapons. Once per round–when the wielder of a loaded shield is hit in melee combat–the front of the shield bursts violently outward, and a single use of a stored splash weapon is spewed on the attacker. The enemy takes a direct hit, and any splash effects are dealt in a 15-foot cone of the wielder’s choice that emanates from the shield’s space and contains the attacker. The wielder may also choose to activate the shield after a successful shield bash or shield throw once per round. After the explosion the shield re-forms instantly with one more scar on the front.

Loading a splash weapon into the shield is a standard action that provokes attacks of opportunity. The alchemist’s retort can hold up to three uses of one conventional splash weapon, or a single alchemist’s bomb. Any weapons stored in the shield last until used, but a bomb stored in the shield counts against the alchemist’s total bombs every day. A loaded shield always has a minor cosmetic change related to the weapon stored within it, such as smoking lightly, stinking of sulfur or making bubbling noises.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, make whole, touch injection, creator must have 5 ranks in Craft (alchemy); Cost 3,500 gp

Collected Judge comments:

*Wording issues. Price/Cost don't match.

*This seems fairly interesting and balanced except for the use of alchemist bombs, which will lead to issues with bombs that have particular added effects.

*Presumably the shield doesn't add the alchemist's Int bonus as Throw Anything, as it isn't an alchemist throwing the splash weapon.

Paizo Employee Designer , Marathon Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Mikael Sebag wrote:

Enlightened Jian

Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 29,335 gp; Weight 2 lbs.

Description
Swirling, cloudlike engravings run the length of this slender, almost weightless +2 mithral longsword. A monk who attacks with this elegant blade may use his Wisdom modifier instead of his Strength modifier on attack and weapon damage rolls. A monk also treats the blade as a monk weapon for use in his flurry of blows.

As part of a regular move action, the wielder can spend 1 ki point to gain the benefits of air walk (as the spell) until the start of his next turn. He may spend 1 additional ki point at the start of each turn as a free action to maintain the effect, up to a maximum number of consecutive rounds equal to his Wisdom modifier (minimum 1).

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, air walk, spiritual weapon, creator must be a monk; Cost 15,675 gp

I'll confess, this was a rushed entry; I was going for "Wuxia-in-a-can", but in retrospect, I see the lack of originality. Either way, I think it's well crafted, even if it's uninspired.

Collected Judge comments (typing this slows me down, so from now on, all these bulleted lists are always collected judge comments):

*Why is this a longsword instead of a temple sword? Monks aren't proficient in longsword and take the –4 despite the item's abilities, and temple sword is otherwise equivalent to longsword while doing what the author wanted (being a monk weapon for flurry, etc).

*The weapon weighs as much as a normal mithral longsword, so the "almost weightless" seems to not be describing anything special about it.

*I'm also, as usual, not a fan of this kind of ability score swap.

Paizo Employee Designer , Marathon Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7

Acre wrote:

Ready for review. I'm all ears :)

----------------------------------

Mail of Ash Woven Ramparts
Aura faint conjuration and enchantment; CL 5th
Slot armor; Price 19,250 gp; Weight 25 lbs.
Description
The iron rings of this +1 balanced chain shirt are a pale, ashen grey. Rising from among the entwined links, a thousand gossamer cords tangle into a murky smoke that drifts away into nothingness.

Three times per day as a standard action the wearer can become wreathed in a blinding maelstrom that leaves a tangled barrier of ash in its wake. Once activated, the wearer’s next single move action creates a 10-foot high curtain of ash that hangs in the air tracing their path and remaining for one round in each square the wearer has occupied during this movement. The woven curtain of ash completely fills each of the affected squares and blocks all sight (even darkvision), causing any creature inside the cloud (except the wearer) to gain the blinded condition.

The curtain of ash does not restrict movement into or throughout its depth, but any creature attempting to leave the cloud must first succeed at an overrun combat maneuver check versus the wearer’s Combat Maneuver Defense or their movement immediately ends while still inside the cloud.

Lastly, while activated, when the wearer’s move action ends in the same square from which it started, all interior squares contained within the envelope of their movement are immediately flooded by the surrounding maelstrom of ash.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, ash storm, cat’s grace; Cost 9,750 gp

*This really seems like a foot slot item ability, rather than an armor.

*The wording of the ability becomes difficult to penetrate in places, particularly in the last paragraph. Is that supposed to mean that if you go in a circle, the second and third paragraph apply within the circle?

Paizo Employee Designer , Marathon Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7

Tothric wrote:

Grave-Nettle

Aura Moderate Necromancy/Evil; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 16,850 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
Description
A dagger that looks worn and chipped, this knife has a blood-groove that is heavily stained. The pommel of the dagger is onyx. When taken in hand, this dagger hums with a soft promise of great power.

This is a +1 dagger with the human bane trait. Once per day, when the dagger slays a human and is left in the corpse for a single round, the human raises as a medium size zombie as if the wielder had just cast the lesser animate dead spell. The dagger returns to its owner’s hand after the zombie animates. This zombie is controlled by whoever wields Grave-Nettle, and counts towards the number of undead the wielder can control. Zombies created in this way obey all spoken commands to the best of their ability. After this ability is used once, the onyx pommel appears tarnished. Should all the zombies Grave-Nettle has raised be destroyed, the onyx pommel regains its glistening shine.

Should the Grave-Nettle be left unattended for more than a day, all zombies that have been created by Grave-Nettle are destroyed.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magical Arms and Armor, Animate Dead(Lesser),Summon Monster I, Spell Focus(Necromancy); Cost 7,000 gp and an Onyx worth 1,250 gp

*Price and cost don't mesh up whichever way you slice it.

*Lax formatting and wording.

*Basically this dagger is a spell-in-a-can for lesser animate dead.

Paizo Employee Designer , Marathon Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7

King Tius wrote:

Staff of the Vineyard

Aura moderate transmutation; CL 8th
Slot none; Price 16,200 gp; Weight 5 lbs.

Description
This wine-stained staff is hewn from the rib of a great oak wine barrel and is covered in bountiful grape vines. The vines produce enough berries to serve as rations for one medium creature per day and they regenerate with the sunrise. When used as the target of a goodberry spell, these grapes heal double the normal amount but do not increase the spell’s maximum amount of hit points cured in a 24-hour period. In addition, the bearer of this staff is immune to the effects of any entangle spell and, by expending an additional charge from the staff, can designate a number of creatures immune to the effects of any entangle spell they cast as per the Selective Spell feat. The staff allows use of the following spells:

  • Entangle (1 charge)
  • Goodberry (1 charge)
  • Shillelagh (1 charge)
  • Barkskin (2 charges)

Construction
Requirements Craft Staff, barkskin, entangle, goodberry, shillelagh; Cost 8,100 gp

*Selective Spell doesn't work on entangle, so as written, the staff's special power doesn't do anything.

*The staff's total price is lower than the price that the spells cost alone.

RPG Superstar Season 9 Top 8 , Dedicated Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka Mark D Griffin

mechaPoet wrote:
Mark D Griffin wrote:
Alchemist's Retort
There's really one main glaring problem, though--who is this shield for? Alchemists don't have shield proficiency! This would either require strange feats on an alchemist or specific multi-classing. It seems like an important oversight.

Wow, that is an important oversight. Bummer. I guess I could have said something along the lines of "all alchemists are proficient with this shield", but that seems not great either. It is however useable by people other than alchemists, especially since they released a bunch of new alchemical items with different uses. And if you're a shield wielder with an alchemist in your party, all the better I suppose. Thanks for pointing that out though.

Paizo Employee Designer , Marathon Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7

Keolin Portara wrote:

Angazhan’s Bloodthirsty Spear

Aura moderate transmutation; CL 6th
Slot none; Price 9,305 gp; Weight 9 lbs.
Description
This +1 keen longspear grants a cumulative +2 bonus to critical hit confirmation rolls each time the spear pierces a new living creature. This bonus dissipates as soon as the combat ends. Additionally, whenever the wielder makes a critical hit, the wielder can make an additional attack against a creature that is standing behind their original target at their highest attack bonus.
The spear is made of black hardwood with an obsidian spearpoint, lashed to the shaft with red leather. It has an ape skull mounted to the butt of the spear that sheds tears of blood each time the spear is driven into a fresh victim.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, keen edge; Cost 4653 gp

*The extra powers are only costed at 1,000 gp, but the limitless crit confirmation bonuses with the vague "until end of combat" duration are worth far more than that, especially with a whirlwind attack or similar against a bag of rats.

Paizo Employee Designer , Marathon Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7

1 person marked this as a favorite.
theheadkase wrote:

Critique's coming from me once I finish the Top 32.

Below is my entry:

Chrysalis Carapace
Aura strong abjuration; CL 14th
Slot armor; Price 65,800 gp; Weight 40 lbs.
Description
This +3 reflecting suit of full plate armor is sweet smelling, honey-tinted, and made from layers of the discarded cocoons of giant moths or gloomwings.

Any creature worshiping a deity with a nature theme may add this armor to the list of armors in which she is proficient.

Three times per day the wearer can command the chrysalis carapace to form a split in the back with a loud cracking sound and sprout delicate looking butterfly wings. The wearer gains a fly speed of 40 feet (perfect) for 10 minutes. At the end of this duration, the wings furl back into the armor and the split seals itself.

Once per day the wearer can will the chrysalis carapace, as an immediate action, to force any one creature casting a spell to make a concentration check adding the wearer’s level to the DC. If the target fails the concentration check, the spell is lost to the caster and absorbed into the armor. Absorbing a spell in this manner causes the chrysalis carapce to open dozens of ragged slits and diaphanous, winged insects to pour out over the armor, granting the expeditious armor special ability for 1 hour.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, fly, spell turning; Cost 32,900 gp

I already know I forgot to specify the range in the very last paragraph!

*A +3 reflecting full plate without any other powers or the ability to be worn by druids costs 65,650 gp. Pricing all the other powers combined at 150 gp is ridiculous.

Paizo Employee Designer , Marathon Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7

Haladir wrote:

Dirk of Treachery

Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 18,302gp; Weight 1 lb.
Description
The blade of this long, thin dirk appears black as night, and its hilt and crossguard are likewise unadorned and colorless. Invented by the cult of Father Skinsaw, and now favored by assassins and conspirators throughout the Inner Sea, this +1 keen dagger strikes deep when its victim is unaware of its presence. Against an opponent that is flanked, flat-footed, or denied its Dexterity bonus to AC, this weapon's enhancement bonus increases by +2.

When attacking an opponent that had considered the weilder to be a friend or ally (GM's discretion), the dirk of treachery deals an additional +2d6 pecision damage. This additional damage is not doubled on a critical hit.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, disguise self, inflict moderate wounds; Cost 9,302 gp

** spoiler omitted **...

*This is a cooler sword of subtlety from the CRB. Unfortunately, while there are some differences, there aren't really enough to justify this being Superstar, though I admit I would rather have this one than the original.

Dedicated Voter Season 8

Mark D Griffin wrote:
lair-master wrote:
Mummer’s Slapstick
I upvoted this whenever I saw it for pure balls. I knew it was destined to fail because of the jokiness of it, but I actually thought that underneath the silliness it was quite mechanically sound.

Thank you, Mark! It wasn't my intention to write a joke item, but a legitimately good item that employed humor. I knew doing so was risky. Perhaps the humor hurt it more than I anticipated.

I welcome any additional feedback from you or others!

Dedicated Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Marathon Voter Season 9

I wasn't going to post my item, but I'm never going to earn my Toughened Hide achievement feat by being afraid of having my ego punctured:

Outrider's Band (297 294 words)
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 7th
Slot ring; Price 6,300 gp; Weight -
Description
This finely-braided steel ring is flanked with opposing humanoid and equine figures, their limbs entangled in the strands. It grants a +2 competence bonus on Ride checks and a -4 competence penalty on Survival checks to follow the wearer's tracks.

Outriders often encounter circumstances where it is disadvantageous to have their mount accompany them, or, conversely, leave their mount behind. This ring allows a rider to merge with her appropriate-sized equine mount as a full-round action. The resulting ipotane form is a bipedal humanoid hybrid possessing the rider's physical and mental attributes and qualities with digitigrade legs, hooves, and minor equine features. The ipotane gains low-light vision, a +1 racial bonus to natural armor, a +4 racial bonus to Constitution (running and forced march) and Handle Animal (equines only) checks, and 1 temporary hit point for each hit die of the mount. She also gains speak with animals (equines only) at will. The mount's worn gear, not exceeding a light load, melds into the ipotane form. Separating is a full-round action, with the mount taking any hit point loss up to the amount it originally contributed, and the rider taking the balance of the loss and any persisting effects.

The ipotane treats her Constitution modifier as 2 lower when determining the effects of alcohol (GameMastery Guide, pg. 237). If merged with a non-combat trained equine, the hybrid receives a -2 morale penalty on Will saves against fear effects, which increases to -4 when facing dragons or griffins.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor Forge Ring, animal companion or mount class ability, creator must have 5 ranks in Handle Animal, familiar melding, monstrous physique I, pass without trace, speak with animals; Cost 3,150 gp

---

Recognized Possible Design Issues & Unnecessary Rambling:
1)Not Enough "Umpf" to Be SuperStar I had long been irritated by the problem non-paladins, and later non-summoners, have when they need to leave a prized mount behind when entering a dangerous fortress, town, dungeon, or terrain difficult/impassible to the mount. So why not bring it with them, gain some mild benefit/buff from it, and possibly provide a story/RPing hook? I really didn't want anything similar to the hosteling property or some gussied up SIAC mount/phantom steed variant, which all seemed to treat the mount more as a resource than as a trusted living companion and co-combatant. I originally included a limited duration centaur form, but I was regretfully forced to chop it for word count and to make it more affordable to lower level PCs.
I had hoped that a unique creative approach resulting in an affordable item would make a far better submission than a high-powered/theatrical set of armor or weapon. Unfortunately, from a couple of comments in the voting thread, I fear the outrider's band was received by some of the judging public as a joke or deliberately gonzo/oddball item.

2) Wrong Item Creation Feat Yep, entirely my fault. I'd designed the item as the outrider's buckler: a) because shields are too easily dropped or disarmed in combat, which would end the merged form and expose the mergee's to immediate harm, and b) most PCs would be far more concerned about getting the most protective "bang for the buck" and would quickly trade-in the outrider's utility for more protection. Literally at the last moment, I had a brainstorm to make it a ring instead, but I missed changing Craft Magic Arms and Armor to Forge Ring.

2) Language for Ego/personality conflict between the rider and equine I had it in there up through the second draft, but it was verbose and clunky. I cut it to hit word count which excised clarification on the hybrid's mental composition; I'd hoped GMs would fall back on the existing rules for ego conflicts with magical items.

3) Pricing By raw math, I should be in the ballpark on pricing, especially considering the majority of the ring's abilities don't function unless the rider supplies a mount. (The minor drawbacks were entirely for flavor and did not reduce the calculated pricing.)

4) Mythological inspiration The item was inspired by the myths/legends of ipotane people, who were basically faun-like bipedal versions of centaurs. While drawing on Greek mythology is a well established tradition, I read one comment that seemed to indicate a bias against mining mythology for magic item inspiration. The penalty to inebriation came from centaur legends; the fear penalty seemed a logical tie into both predators predilections for eating horses. (I also had originally included a centaur-inspired augury ability, but cut it, thinking it might pose too many "WTF was the designer thinking?" questions among the voters.) I judged both penalties too minor to discourage PC usage, but thought they might provide hooks for players and GMs to have a little fun if they decided to roleplay it.

Sczarni RPG Superstar 2012 Top 32 , Champion Voter Season 6, Champion Voter Season 7, Champion Voter Season 8, Champion Voter Season 9

1 person marked this as a favorite.

These were just my thoughts during voting:

Windpath Razor - No item description. Remove the "free action" when drawing, made it command word. No mechanics for the bull rush. Wind trail was poorly done; allies only, landing on solid surface, and 2 squares of movement?

ROD OF VERSATILE CHANNELING - Title screamed at me! Feat in a can with the addition of being used as a holy symbol and restrictions on effectiveness ruined it for me.

Alchemist's Retort - Seems like an item for an alchemist, but they aren't proficient in shields. Why does the shied have to blow up and reform? It's magic, just let it spray out. I didn't like allowing bombs. Plus the damage was a guarantee, I don't like guaranteed hits.

Enlightened Jian - On my keep list. Loved the description, but the air walk was a bit wonky. Didn't like the limit to a "regular move action" (regular?) or the limit equal to Wisdom modifier.

Mail of Ash Woven Ramparts - On my keep list. 10 foot high and a single move only? Combined with the filling interior squares a 20 foot move could only fill 1 interior square and a 30 foot move filled 2 squares.

Paizo Employee Designer , Marathon Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Clay Clouser wrote:

I know i jacked up the pricing by not including masterwork. Any feedback is great, thank you

Monastic Staff
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 8th
Slot none; Price 40,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
This staff is crafted from smooth birch wood and topped with an ornate brass halo with six plain brass rings looped through it. For most, this staff functions as a simple walking stick or quarterstaff but in the hands of those who have harnessed the power of ki it enhances their natural martial prowess. For any user with a ki pool, it functions as +1 countering/+1 merciful quarterstaff and allows the use of the following spells as though they have a spell list that includes them:

  • Feather step (1 charge, self only)
  • Invigorate (1 charge, self only)
  • Blur (2 charges, self only)
  • Haste (3 charges, self only)
    The monastic staff uses the class levels in any class that grants ki to determine the caster level of spells and the wielder's Wisdom stat for the spell save DC. A user can recharge this staff by meditating for one hour and expending 4 points of ki but is still limited to restoring one charge per day as per the normal staff rules.
    Construction
    Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Craft Staff, blur, cat's grace, cure light wounds, feather step, haste, invigorate; Cost 20,000 gp
  • *Price/Cost don't match.

    *I like the fact that this staff is still a staff, unlike the similar "staff" that spends ki instead of charges to use its power.

    *I like that the spells are limited to self only, as it feels more in tune with being a monk.

    *My major complaint with this one is that while I would have been OK if the abilities were limited only to monks, by opening up to anybody with a ki pool, ninjas can use this staff, and so the author should have done one of two things instead of state that the DCs were always Wisdom based: First option would have been to state that the DCs were based on the ability score you use to determine the size of your ki pool (this has the added benefit of working for hypothetical monk archetypes that use other ability scores). Second option would have been to cut that section entirely, since all the spells are self-only, so the DC is pretty irrelevant; a tidy and wordcount-friendly solution that would have showed that the author paid attention to a lot of little things.

    Dedicated Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Marathon Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9 aka OwlbearRepublic

    Keolin Portara wrote:
    Angazhan’s Bloodthirsty Spear

    Watch out for using "combat" as a duration, because it's sometimes unclear when a combat begins and ends. The "combat" duration is especially inappropriate in this case, because you've got an uncapped, untyped bonus stacking up every time the spear scores a hit on a new creature; this opens you up to the old exploit of killing animals to build up the bonus before engaging the enemy.

    The bonus to crit confirmation rolls is also just a bit vanilla. A more exciting effect, better defined and limited, would have helped this item.

    Paizo Employee Designer , Marathon Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7

    Jason Kimble wrote:

    Skewer Shield

    Aura moderate transmutation; CL 10th
    Slot shield; Price 13,669 gp; Weight 6 lbs.
    Description

    This +1 light steel shield has a raised band of metal arching over its center, creating a slot on the shield's front.

    As a move action, a Skewer Shield's wielder may load it with a single light or one-handed melee weapon with which she is proficient. A Skewer Shield loaded in this way retains its normal armor bonus. The loaded weapon may not be used to make its normal attacks while it is loaded. Removing the loaded weapon is a move action.

    So long as it is loaded with a weapon, treat a Skewer Shield as having shield spikes. The damage type and critical values for attacks made with a loaded Skewer Shield correspond to those of the loaded weapon. Any special abilities which would modify the loaded weapon's damage modify the Skewer Shield, instead. Attack bonuses from the loaded weapon have no effect on a Skewer Shield.

    As a standard action, the wielder may launch the shield's loaded weapon to make a single ranged attack. For this attack, treat any loaded weapon as if it were designed to be thrown. The range increment of this attack is 20 ft. Feats and effects which apply to thrown weapon attacks apply to this attack.

    A weapon launched from a Skewer Shield gains either the Returning or Anchoring special ability for 1 round. The choice is made before the attack roll. A returning weapon still requires a move action if its wielder wishes to reload the shield.

    After launching a loaded melee weapon, a Skewer Shield provides no armor bonus until the wielder's next turn.

    Construction
    Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, telekinesis, versatile weapon; Cost 6,919 gp

    *It seems like one could load a pair of these with colossal falcatas and go to town for 6d6 damage 17-20/x3 crit and whatever other extras you put on the falcatas. Even with medium falcatas, it's still a way to TWF essentially two one-handed weapons while getting shield bonuses and taking no penalties for TWFing (Shield Master).

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