Official Critique My Item Thread

[Thomas LeBlanc]

The Golux wrote:

Thomas LeBlanc wrote:

Staff of entwined elements - Didn't like additional recharge mechanic. Odd requirements. Price/cost incorrect.

I was very careful on the price/cost:

8,300 gp price/4,300 gp cost for a +2-equivalent quarterstaff; I figured the fact that it can be shock, corrosive, flaming, or frost and is guaranteed to be a useful one when the ability is active balances out the fact that sometimes it isn't any of them.

11,000 gp price/ 5,500 gp cost for an elemental metamagic rod, for the metaelemental ability, potentially more times per day balanced by only usable on the staff's spells (I considered making it a full-use elemental metamagic rod but decided to limit it.

50 gp price/cost for continual flame

(400 x 6 x 11)/2 = 13,200 gp cost/26,400 gp price for elemental assessor
(300 x 6 x 11)/2 = 9,900 gp cost/19,800 gp price for acid fog
(200 x 5 x 11)/2 = 5,500 gp cost/11,000 gp price for cone of cold
(200 x 3 x 11) = 6,600 gp cost/13,200 gp price for lightning bolt
(200 x 2 x 11) = 4,400 gp cost/8,800 gp price for scorching ray

for a price of 98,550 gp and a cost of 49,450 gp.

(Staff-crafting is calculated by cost first, then the price is double that.)

Item price - masterwork armor/weapon = 2(item cost - masterwork armor weapon)

98,550 - 300 = 2(49,450 - 300)
98,250 = 2(49,150)
98,250 not equal to 98,300

[Mark Seifter]

Anne Sullivan wrote:

In the spirit of "we learn by doing," I present to you my "wow, I learned a lot by doing all those things wrong entry. Thank you in advance for your feedback. Next year I will do better! :)

Blade of the Dark Betrayer

Aura moderate enchantment; CL 7th
Slot none; Price 22,310 gp; Weight 2 lbs.

Description
This +1 short sword has an inky black hilt that is cold and smooth to the touch. Shadowy shapes writhe slowly just below the surface of the blade.

Up to three times per day, the wielder can attempt to sever the shadow from an enemy using a melee touch attack. If the attack is successful, the shadow is under control of the wielder of the blade. While under control of the player, the shadow provides flanking to the wielder for that enemy regardless of the direction of light. The shadow does not require space to occupy to provide this benefit.

The shadow remains under the wielder’s control until the enemy dies or the player stops wielding the blade for any reason. If the area surrounding the enemy is covered in darkness, the effect ends immediately.

This ability can only be used on enemies that have shadows. It is not available in darkness or other situations where shadows are not present.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, lesser simulacrum; Cost 11,310 gp

*Formatting issues.

*Can I have more than one shadow active at once? I'm guessing yes.

*I wish there was something shadowy on the weapon itself so that this felt less like it could just be a shears wondrous item that snipped shadows.

[Phil Greeley/Rochandil Calenlad]

Here's mine, warts and all...Yes, I neglected to use the bold tags when I posted, so I'll do the same now ;)

The Pen of Mirado

Aura Strong Divination and Evocation; CL 12th
Slot None; Price 20,010 gp; Weight --

Description
Mirado was a bard and scribe known for his careful use of wit and invective in defeating his foes, whether verbally, in writing, or otherwise. His pen was as sharp as his tongue, and never far from his grasp.

The pen of Mirado is a slender stylus of ebony, chased with brass; it is a functional writing instrument. When used in combat, it is considered a +1 weapon that deals 1d2 points of damage on a successful hit (20/x2 critical, piercing). The wielder, upon making a successful DC 25 Bardic Knowledge check about his opponent, can then use the pen to strike once, as a full attack action, as if the pen were a greatsword. The strike is at +5 to the attack roll, and automatically scores a critical hit if successful; x3 if the roll is a natural 19 or 20. This strike ignores damage reduction of any sort, as well as fortification. Further, the pen is considered a bludgeoning, piercing, or slashing weapon for this attack. Only corporeal creatures can be struck.

The wielder can attempt his Bardic Knowledge check once per round as a swift action at the beginning of his turn. If he fails, the DC increases by 2, until five attempts are made against a given opponent. A successful check decreases the DC by 2 for a subsequent check. A maximum of five successful attacks can be made per opponent. A given opponent can be subject to these attacks only once every 24 hours.

Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Critical Focus, Legend Lore, Shatter; Cost 10,005 gp

[Raynulf]

Motherly Love
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 8th
Slot none; Price 25,025 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
This +2 shortbow (+2 Str bonus) has the hair of a dead woman braided into the string. Against any creature that wounds the wielder, the bow counts as having the bane special ability, which lasts for one hour. Additionally, while the wielder sleeps, the bow sings a quiet and soothing song, aiding their rest and recovery as if using the Heal skill to provide long-term care. The power of the bow comes with a catch, however, as it functions only so long as the wielder refers to it, and only it, as their mother. Failure to do so, or using such terms with regard to another, will cause the bow to lose its magical properties for 24 hours.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, speak with dead, summon monster I, hair from a deceased female humanoid that has had children; Cost 12,775 gp

========================

TL;DR Summary: The goal was to produce a strongly themed weapon that possesses useful abilities at a price, and remained a prominent accessory to the character wielding it, without overshadowing them.

In hindsight, while I enjoy the concept of 'power at a price', and items with roleplay implications, I appreciate that many players will not, and were likely put off by the rather heavy handed downside.

The Wall of Text Version:

Approaching this as a player and GM (admittedly more former than latter), there are a few things I keep in mind both when reviewing items, and in creating mine;

1) Starpower: Is the item memorable? Does it stand out as a major part of the character and their ensemble? To me, a superstar item must become a prominent part of the wielder, and not relegated to simply a matter of bigger numbers.
2) Usability: Is it usable? How complicated is it, compared to what benefit it gives? Will it needlessly slow the game down? (E.g. generate the need for lots of extra dice rolls each round, such as saving throws) How clear are the mechanics?
3) Cost & Balance: Is the costing correct for standard abilities? Are its abilities comparable in power to other magic items? Are the unique abilities accounted for? Is the total cost so high to exclude the item from being useful? Is the cost so low as to introduce it into the game too early?
4) Fun: Is the item fun to use? Does it have roleplay potential? Does the item hinder the fun of the other players? And this is a big one; [u]Is the item fun for the GM?[/u] A lot of "negate challenge X" encounters fall into the "No" category for me, for this very reason.

1)When I put together Motherly Love, I wanted it to not be something that becomes "I roll more dice when", and to give it character of its own. The Cursed Items section is a brilliant concept and tool for gamemasters and one I feel is underutilized in the game. I leaned on it here, to give the bow a distinct presence in the game, without relying on activated superpowers. Furthermore, the ability to deal extra damage to creatures that damage the wielder is a reasonably powerful one, and (in my opinion), worth the strings attached. Pun intended.

2) For usability, I tried to keep bookkeeping to a minimum, and focused on abilities tied to the 'mother' theme: It sings you to sleep and it does extra damage to those who hurt you via bane. It usually isn't difficult to keep track of what creature has injured you recently, so the situational bonus felt appropriately easy to remember.

3) The base weapon is a masterwork (300gp) composite shortbow (75gp), with a +2 Str modifier (150gp). It is +2, with a situational bane (normally +1) that applies only if something damages you, and a limited use of the Heal skill. To me, this felt somewhere between a +3 and a +4, so I priced it as a +3.5 for the math (24,500gp).

The cost is then; 50% of the enhancement cost, plus the base cost of the item: 12,775gp.

NB: I intentionally did not put on adaptive for two reasons; I didn't feel it needed to be completely optimized, and because I felt it appropriate that the bow have its own expectations of the wielder, given the theme

4) Motherly Love has a significant (possibly excessive, I admit) impact on roleplay and presence at the table, which makes it something that is vicariously shared by the group and GM as a whole. It presents some roleplay challenges to its wielder's player, while still being a fundamentally useful weapon, whose cost is appropriate to see it in the mid-levels (8 to 12).

[Thomas LeBlanc]

These were just my thoughts during voting:

Tempest Bow - I liked this one, but didn't seem very Superstar. Price/cost incorrect.

Dynamic Staff - Barely a staff by Pathfinder rules. Still liked it. Mechanically not a fan of how charges are used/recharged.

Staff of Thin Air
 - Didn't like how the teleport worked. Spell list didn't make sense.

Skywalker’s Cloth - Hated the name. Spells in a can. Price/cost incorrect.

Pg 4 Complete

Aegis of the Martyr - Didn't like delay of damage being dealt. Price/cost incorrect.

[Aaron Miller 335]

Jaragil wrote:

Raven Leather

I really liked this one. I had an cloak idea that did basically the same as the second effect, but I think the first effect is just perfect. I do expect it suffered from the "oh its an wondrous item?"

[Andrew Black]

Mark Seifter wrote:

*Some of these abilities are kind of cool, and they clearly fit with each other

*But they don't at all fit with the theme of the hezrou's maw. Instead it's more about moving the opponent around.

Thanks, I see what you are saying. I was thinking of calling it a Bulette Gnasher and makingit look like that monster because it has a nasty bite ability. I was worried though that since it was an earth breaker people would have expected it to have earth powers and I was trying to avoid the earth powers to stand out. I was thinking of the creatures teeth as the points on the hammer head that do the x3 crit damage so I picked the demon for its maw.

[Andrew Black]

Jacob Kellogg wrote:

This was one of my favorite items. :D
Probably want reposition rather than drag. Might also want a size limit on who you can swing around. Critting the Tarrasque and flipping him over your head (and only needing 5ft of headspace to do it!) seems a little off. ;)
Other than that, it's a really cool hammer that I would actually consider buying.

I am glad you liked it, thanks for all the votes. I chose to avoid reposition since a repositioning weapon lets the wielder have more control then I wanted this weapon to have. I wanted the focus to be on the bite, that keeps hanging on like an angry dog, that presented an opportunity for a real wow what just happened moment when the angry dog flips you over the combat map.

The last line was supposed to clarify the size limit issue.

The wielder can only throw or knock prone an opponent who is no more than one size category larger than it.

I suppose It should have read ...category larger than the wielder to be clear.

[Andrew Black]

goldomark wrote:

Loved it! Up voted it everytime I saw it.

the only issue I had was how specific you got with the type of demon that was represented and how undemon-like the abilities were. I hope to see it in print somewhere.

Thanks, I am so glad you liked it. I picked that deomon because it has a bite attack and all the pictures of it have a pretty wide big toothy maw that I felt fit the look I was going for once I nixed the Bulette idea. I also considered Lions Head, and Tarassque as well for the look.

[The Golux]

Thomas LeBlanc wrote:

The Golux wrote:

Thomas LeBlanc wrote:

Staff of entwined elements - Didn't like additional recharge mechanic. Odd requirements. Price/cost incorrect.

I was very careful on the price/cost:

8,300 gp price/4,300 gp cost for a +2-equivalent quarterstaff; I figured the fact that it can be shock, corrosive, flaming, or frost and is guaranteed to be a useful one when the ability is active balances out the fact that sometimes it isn't any of them.

11,000 gp price/ 5,500 gp cost for an elemental metamagic rod, for the metaelemental ability, potentially more times per day balanced by only usable on the staff's spells (I considered making it a full-use elemental metamagic rod but decided to limit it.

50 gp price/cost for continual flame

(400 x 6 x 11)/2 = 13,200 gp cost/26,400 gp price for elemental assessor
(300 x 6 x 11)/2 = 9,900 gp cost/19,800 gp price for acid fog
(200 x 5 x 11)/2 = 5,500 gp cost/11,000 gp price for cone of cold
(200 x 3 x 11) = 6,600 gp cost/13,200 gp price for lightning bolt
(200 x 2 x 11) = 4,400 gp cost/8,800 gp price for scorching ray

for a price of 98,550 gp and a cost of 49,450 gp.

(Staff-crafting is calculated by cost first, then the price is double that.)

Item price - masterwork armor/weapon = 2(item cost - masterwork armor weapon)

98,550 - 300 = 2(49,450 - 300)
98,250 = 2(49,150)
98,250 not equal to 98,300

You don't get a discount on continual flame, 50 gp of ruby dust is 50 gp of ruby dust. The continual flame is the spell for all purposes (honestly I might even say it comes back if dispelled) and is costed as such. (Reference the Ioun torch)

[Thomas LeBlanc]

These were just my thoughts during voting:

Blade of Unabating Wounds - Didn't like the regeneration wording. Why is Heal a requirement?

Chakram of Cyclic Existence - Didn't like the channel restriction. Formatting issues. +1 ghost touch returning chakram. Price/cost incorrect.

Demonmaw Gnasher - Liked this one, except the effect on a critical. Not sure if balanced with cost.

Serpentine Stave - Not a big fan of the mechanics. "intelligence score of 0", Intelligence and should say mindless.

Staff of Strategems - "ready an action as a move action" = two standard actions per turn. Price/cost incorrect.

[RJGrady]

Mark Seifter wrote:

RJGrady wrote:

BLACK-AND-WHITE SWORD

*Can the quasi real ice be disbelieved?

I went out of my way to try to make it clear how this item functioned, but I guess it fell short. Is there some reason to believe it can be disbelieved? If so, what would you guess for the DC?

Quote:

*The killing requirement is exploitable, but the real limit seems to be the three charges per day limit, but it's highly amibguous. It's either "NOT (collect > 3/day OR expend > 3/day)" or "NOT (collect OR expend) > 3/day).

It took me a couple of tries to understand what you meant by "highly ambiguous." AAH! I thought it was clear enough, as "you cannot collect and expend" would have the same meaning as "collect or expend" in the second reading and that shouldn't be the case.

It's just a 3/day item with a special requirement, and you can't fulfill the requirement in advance. It's a trivial restriction, I probably should have just specified that it holds a maximum of three charges and it can only expend three charges in a day.

Thanks for the feedback!

[David Posener]

Axle of Sky and Storm

Axle of Sky and Storm
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 50,305 gp; Weight 9 lbs.

Description
The haft of this double-ended +2 mighty cleaving elysian bronze longspear is a churning tornado which writhes in the wielder’s hands. A pillar of cyclonic winds besets a creature hit by the axle of sky and storm for 1 round. The wind’s speed is 2 mph per point of damage dealt.

On command, the wielder of the axle of sky and storm may cast it forth horizontally, unleashing a 50-foot radius vortex. The cyclone assembles 300 pounds of unattended non-magical items and terrain into a medium chariot (Ultimate Combat) with hardness and hit points based on the predominant material. A pair of Large bull-silhouetted whirlwinds (10 ft. high, 1d6+2 damage, DC 14, 50’ speed) draws the chariot. The whirlwinds are magical effects controlled by the driver, and grant a +4 circumstance bonus to driving checks.

The broad-headed spear forms the vehicle’s axle and the blades function as scythes projecting from the wheels. Using the scythes, the driver can attack a creature adjacent to the chariot’s path of movement. Resolve the attack using the driver’s attack and damage modifiers as if attacking with the axle of sky and storm. Drivers with the Cleave or Great Cleave feats can cleave additional creatures. The targets need not be adjacent to one another.

The bearer can unbind the chariot as a standard action, whereupon the constituent items are scattered, undamaged, across a 50-foot radius area. Treat the debris field as difficult terrain. The chariot unbinds if it is wrecked or destroyed, and cannot be called again for 1 week.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, control winds, divine power, fabricate; Cost 25,305 gp

[Thomas LeBlanc]

The Golux wrote:

You don't get a discount on continual flame, 50 gp of ruby dust is 50 gp of ruby dust. The continual flame is the spell for all purposes (honestly I might even say it comes back if dispelled) and is costed as such.

I stand corrected. I was looking at the liberator's rod and didn't see the 50 gp figured in. But an ioun torch does. Teach me to research a bit more.

[Andrew Black]

Thomas LeBlanc wrote:

Demonmaw Gnasher - Liked this one, except the effect on a critical. Not sure if balanced with cost.

I am glad you liked it, I fidgeted with the cost a bit and ended up making it cost the same as a +7 weapon. +2 for the bonus, +1 for the ominous, +1 for the drag/bite power, and +3 for the power of the critical which is the bonus cost of the repositioning ability. I felt this helped keep it in line with other weapons since it repositions but only in one way and only on the cit.

[Thomas LeBlanc]

Azouth wrote:

Thomas LeBlanc wrote:

Ragathiel's Regalia - No mechanics for being adamantine and mithral. Very spell in a can. Price/cost incorrect. +3 full plate.

What should the price have been?

Once again:

Item price - masterwork armor/weapon = 2(item cost - masterwork armor weapon)
124,000 - 1,650 = 2(74,750 - 1,650)
122,350 = 2(73,100)
122,350 not equal to 146,200

[Thomas LeBlanc]

These were just my thoughts during voting:

Sarenrae’s Desert Caller - This was on my keep list until it was DQed. I really liked this one! Didn't like the unlimited mini sandstorms. Price/cost incorrect.

Housebreaker Bow - Underpriced. +1 glamered shortbow.

Blowgun of the Accursed Serpent - To hard to make saves against the more powerful poisons. Underpriced.

Pg 5 Complete

The Pen of Mirado - History = down-check. Way underpriced. Poor formating. Price/cost incorrect.

Motherly Love - Having to refer to it as mother = creepy. +2 shortbow (+2 Str bonus), forgot to add composite. Icky requirements. Price/cost incorrect.

[Thomas LeBlanc]

These were just my thoughts during voting:

Axle of Sky and Storm - Was on my keep list for a while. Loved the visuals. Found it a bit mechanically messy and too unbelievable in certain circumstances. Price didn't seem right, more like a random guess.

Caught Up

[Thomas LeBlanc]

Ok, here's my item (without the hyperlinks and minor submission window changes):

Eremite Rod
Aura strong necromancy; CL 10th
Slot none; Price 58,000 gp; Weight 4 lbs.

Description
This bone rod, made from a bleached humanoid tibia, has a meager amount of sinew running its length and jagged shards of metal protruding from the tibia's head. Chain-like shadowy glyphs wrap the exposed bone surface, twisting and undulating in areas of bright light. The wielder can cast up to three spells per day that gain the pain descriptor and creatures that take damage from the spells must make an additional Fort save. On a failed save, a creature takes 1d4 bleed damage and suffers from pain while bleeding. The pain causes the creature to take a –2 penalty to AC, attacks, and Reflex saving throws, and must succeed at a concentration check to cast spells. The additional Fort save and the concentration check uses the spell's DC. Increase the DC by 1 if the spell has the evil, lawful, or shadow descriptor.

This rod acts as a +2 wounding bone light mace that can deal ability damage on a critical hit. The wielder may choose to eviscerate the target instead of the extra damage dealt by a critical hit. If eviscerated, the wielder chooses an ability score that takes 1d4 points of ability damage.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Craft Rod, bleed, howling agony; Cost 29,000 gp

Immediately thought of how to rewrite it when I first saw it in voting. The one person who saw my item prior to submission told me to scrap the second paragraph.

[Joe Mashuga]

Mark Seifter wrote:

Joe Mashuga wrote:

<snipped>

Chakram of Cyclic Existence

<snipped>

*Formatting and wording issues.

*Another weapon that heals its target.

*It's basically a ranged CLW...

Mark - Another thanks for the feedback.

Out of curiosity, was the problem with "healing weapons" the number of submissions, or the general concept?

[Aaron Miller 335]

mechaPoet wrote:

Did you just link to d20pfsrd and not adhesive on paizo.com?

[The Golux]

Thomas LeBlanc wrote:

The Golux wrote:

You don't get a discount on continual flame, 50 gp of ruby dust is 50 gp of ruby dust. The continual flame is the spell for all purposes (honestly I might even say it comes back if dispelled) and is costed as such.

I stand corrected. I was looking at the liberator's rod and didn't see the 50 gp figured in. But an ioun torch does. Teach me to research a bit more.

I suspect the Liberator's Rod is somewhat rounded to a nice even number, which I considered but decided against.

[goldomark]

Raynulf wrote:

Motherly Love

Aura moderate conjuration; CL 8th
Slot none; Price 25,025 gp; Weight 2 lbs.
Description
This +2 shortbow (+2 Str bonus) has the hair of a dead woman braided into the string. Against any creature that wounds the wielder, the bow counts as having the bane special ability, which lasts for one hour. Additionally, while the wielder sleeps, the bow sings a quiet and soothing song, aiding their rest and recovery as if using the Heal skill to provide long-term care. The power of the bow comes with a catch, however, as it functions only so long as the wielder refers to it, and only it, as their mother. Failure to do so, or using such terms with regard to another, will cause the bow to lose its magical properties for 24 hours.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, speak with dead, summon monster I, hair from a deceased female humanoid that has had children; Cost 12,775 gp

========================

TL;DR Summary: The goal was to produce a strongly themed weapon that possesses useful abilities at a price, and remained a prominent accessory to the character wielding it, without overshadowing them.

In hindsight, while I enjoy the concept of 'power at a price', and items with roleplay implications, I appreciate that many players will not, and were likely put off by the rather heavy handed downside.

** spoiler omitted **...

I sort of liked it and found that thematically ir worked, but it is creepy. Normand Bates would love it.

I could put it in my game for a short while in a Ravenloft sort of game, but it isn't superstar material. Sorry.

[Mooncleric]

Thomas LeBlanc wrote:

Eremite Rod
Aura strong necromancy; CL 10th
Slot none; Price 58,000 gp; Weight 4 lbs.

I like the idea of adding 1d4 extra damage onto 3 spells per day and this item being a weapon, however it may not have had to be a rod. I would be turned away from using this in my games because of the amount of other effects the rod also produces. It could become a hassle to remember everything effecting its victim. Also it feels to me like the description runs on for abit too long. I cant speak for pricing as this is an aspect I need to do some study on myself I think.

[Mooncleric]

My item, any input would be great appreciated. =)
Hammer of Besting
Aura moderate Abjuration; CL 13th
Slot none; Price 60’500; Weight 5 lbs.

Description
Upon slaying a creature with this rune engraved +2 Warhammer the wielder may gain a resistance bonus on all Will saving throws equal to the HD possessed by the slain creature and spell resistance equal to 12+ the HD possessed by the slain creature, the effects last for 1 hour and only as long as the Warhammer is within the wielders possession. This may be done 3 times per day.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Spell Resistance, creator must have Will bonus 4 or greater; Cost 30,250 gp

[Aaron Miller 335]

Aaron Miller 335 wrote:

Jaragil wrote:

Raven Leather

I really liked this one. I had an cloak idea that did basically the same as the second effect, but I think the first effect is just perfect. I do expect it suffered from the "oh its an wondrous item?"

With my "that's so better than what I was thinking" I didn't see the price, that is much but still a great item. Owen asked " There's no particular reason this is raven leather, rather than a cloak of the raven, or a ring of the raven -- and no real reason it's a raven rather than a hawk, or crow, or bats." Why raven? Because ravens and shadows go together, Pathfinder steals so much from real word Mythology and Religion you would expect them together.

[verdigris]

My item. I found several issues after I hit submit, but I would love to hear all the others I missed. Thanks in advance.

Ephemeral Staff

Aura moderate transmutation; CL 8th

Slot none; Price 29,000 gp; Weight 2.5 lbs.

Description

Tenuously tied to the material plane, this staff wavers like a mirage beneath the desert sun. When held, its presence stabilizes into a shimmering bar spun of glass.

An ephemeral staff exists in both the material and ethereal planes, allowing the wielder to see each as semitransparent overlays of the other. It also functions as a +1 quarterstaff (only one end of the staff bears magical enhancement), doing half damage to corporeal creatures and full damage to those that are ethereal or incorporeal. It retains these properties even if drained of all charges. The staff allows the use of the following spells:

• faerie fire (1 charge)

• spectral hand (1 charge)

• blink (2 charges)

The staff weighs half as much as expected and effects targeting it suffer a 50% mischance as it flickers between planes.

Construction

Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Craft Staff, blink, faerie fire; spectral hand, Cost 14,500 gp

[Azouth]

Thomas LeBlanc wrote:

Azouth wrote:

Thomas LeBlanc wrote:

Ragathiel's Regalia - No mechanics for being adamantine and mithral. Very spell in a can. Price/cost incorrect. +3 full plate.

What should the price have been?

Once again:

Item price - masterwork armor/weapon = 2(item cost - masterwork armor weapon)
124,000 - 1,650 = 2(74,750 - 1,650)
122,350 = 2(73,100)
122,350 not equal to 146,200

Just checked my notes.

This is how I got the price
Full plate 1,500
Adamantine 15,000
Mithral 9,000
------------
25,500

Because both Mithral and Adamantine are masterwork don't need the 150.

price of magic 98,500

[Raynulf]

Thomas LeBlanc wrote:

These were just my thoughts during voting:

Motherly Love (snip) Price/cost incorrect.

Could you explain where?

My math goes:

Composite Shortbow = 75gp
Masterwork = 300gp
+2 Strength modifier = 150gp (75gp per +1)
Enhancement = 24,500gp

Thus:
Price = 25,025gp
Cost = 50% Enhancement + mundane item = 12,250 + 525 = 12,775gp

[Andrew Black]

Garrick Williams wrote:

Windpath Razor

Aura faint evocation; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 20,315 gp; Weight 4 lbs.
Description
The blade of this +1 scimitar resonates a soft hum in the breeze. Three times per day as a free action while unsheathing the weapon, the wielder may unleash a sudden torrent of howling wind in a 30 foot line that bull rushes the first creature hit. This does not provoke an attack of opportunity.

Shimmering air continues to briskly flow within this 30 foot line for 1 round. Allies that perform the charge, move, run, or withdraw actions through at least two squares of this wind trail begin hovering 1 foot above the ground and ignore difficult terrain for the remainder of the movement. These allies must land on a solid surface at the end of their turn.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, air step or gust of wind, bladed dash; Cost 10,315 gp

I liked this ones name and the theme is well done among the many wind items. I particularly liked the hovering after effect that other players could take advantage of. I think the bull rush is a cool idea but I wondered how I would resolve that at my table. What CMB should I use to determine how many feet the target can be pushed back?

[Giorgios Abate]

Staff of the Auraboros
Aura moderate abjuration and divination; CL 8th
Slot none; Price 16,400 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
Wrapped in robust twists of maple wood and topped with the fearsome image of a leviathan, this staff looks like a crystal storm of pitch-black hue contained within an ancient haggard tree. The staff allows use of the following spells:

• Imbue with aura (1 charge)
• Arcane sight (2 charges)
• Aura sight (2 charges)

When the wielder is within the radius of an aura ability (such as fire aura) , the staff throbs violently. Petting the staff while it pulsates (a swift action), causes the fearsome leviathan to momentarily animate and swallow a single aura ability affecting the user, at which point the aura is suppressed for 8 rounds. The staff loses 1 charge and releases any previously suppressed aura when animated in in this manner.

Casting imbue with aura from the staff, grants the target any aura ability currently suppressed, for the duration of the spell.

Construction
Requirements Craft Staff, arcane sight, aura sight (Advanced Class Guide), dispel magic, imbue with aura (Ultimate Magic); Cost 8,200 gp

[Andrew Black]

Atavar wrote:

ROD OF VERSATILE CHANNELING

Aura strong necromancy; CL 17th
Slot none; Price 11,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.

Description
This rod appears to be made of a single, thin piece of intricately carved, black and white marble. A wielder who normally channels positive energy may instead use the rod to channel negative energy. Alternatively, a wielder who normally channels negative energy may instead use the rod to channel positive energy. In either case, the wielder uses the rod instead of her holy or unholy symbol when channeling energy in this manner. The rod may be used up to three times per day.
If the wielder is a necromancer, a neutral cleric who worships a neutral deity, or a neutral cleric who does not worship a deity, then the rod works as described. For all other wielders, using the rod is more difficult, and it becomes less effective or even somewhat harmful to the wielder. If such a wielder uses the rod to channel energy that would heal her of damage then she is only healed half of the usual number of hit points (minimum 1). If such a wielder uses the rod to channel energy that would harm her targets then she takes half of that damage herself, although she can still make a Will save to take only one quarter damage (minimum 1).

Construction
Requirements Craft Rod, Versatile Channeler; Cost 5,500 gp

While I think you did a good job writing the item up I am not impressed by the item. I am not a fan of items that take away a drawback like not being able to channel the opposite kind of energy. Part of being a Good cleric is using your powers to heal, and this just lets you get around that even if it has limitations on use. It makes me ask "If my Good cleric used this how would my Good diety feel about that.?" As a DM I would not let Good clerics get away with channeling negative energy even through a magic item since IMO it goes against the purpose of being a Good cleric.

[Andrew Black]

Mark D Griffin wrote:

I would love some feedback on my item

Alchemist's Retort
Aura faint transmutation; CL 5th
Slot shield; Price 7,000 gp; Weight 6lbs.
Description
This +1 light steel shield is covered in alchemical symbols mostly obscured by a patchwork of scorch marks and corrosion, but is no less effective in combat.

The shield's hollow back can be loaded with alchemical splash weapons. Once per round–when the wielder of a loaded shield is hit in melee combat–the front of the shield bursts violently outward, and a single use of a stored splash weapon is spewed on the attacker. The enemy takes a direct hit, and any splash effects are dealt in a 15-foot cone of the wielder’s choice that emanates from the shield’s space and contains the attacker. The wielder may also choose to activate the shield after a successful shield bash or shield throw once per round. After the explosion the shield re-forms instantly with one more scar on the front.

Loading a splash weapon into the shield is a standard action that provokes attacks of opportunity. The alchemist’s retort can hold up to three uses of one conventional splash weapon, or a single alchemist’s bomb. Any weapons stored in the shield last until used, but a bomb stored in the shield counts against the alchemist’s total bombs every day. A loaded shield always has a minor cosmetic change related to the weapon stored within it, such as smoking lightly, stinking of sulfur or making bubbling noises.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, make whole, touch injection, creator must have 5 ranks in Craft (alchemy); Cost 3,500 gp

While I think you had an interesting idea I was not a big fan of it. I think it was executed well and creative so I did vote for it several times, but there were other items I liked more. I tended to not like shields and armor that acted as weapons. It's my pet peeve but I was looking for armor and shields to find creative ways to defend their user better not become an extra way for the player to get an attack. I did like that this was triggered by an attack against the user and for that reason it was better then a lot of the other shields.

[Andrew Black]

Mikael Sebag wrote:

Enlightened Jian

Aura moderate transmutation; CL 9th
Slot none; Price 29,335 gp; Weight 2 lbs.

Description
Swirling, cloudlike engravings run the length of this slender, almost weightless +2 mithral longsword. A monk who attacks with this elegant blade may use his Wisdom modifier instead of his Strength modifier on attack and weapon damage rolls. A monk also treats the blade as a monk weapon for use in his flurry of blows.

As part of a regular move action, the wielder can spend 1 ki point to gain the benefits of air walk (as the spell) until the start of his next turn. He may spend 1 additional ki point at the start of each turn as a free action to maintain the effect, up to a maximum number of consecutive rounds equal to his Wisdom modifier (minimum 1).

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, air walk, spiritual weapon, creator must be a monk; Cost 15,675 gp

I'll confess, this was a rushed entry; I was going for "Wuxia-in-a-can", but in retrospect, I see the lack of originality. Either way, I think it's well crafted, even if it's uninspired.

I loved the title, but the item unfortunately didn't do it for me. Enlightened means freed from ignorance and misinformation and I just didn't see how a cheese ability score swap and an air walk ability lived into the title. The air walk ability was cool tied to the monk theme...a Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon vibe that I liked.

[Raisse]

Staff of the Twinned Path
Aura moderate varied; CL 8th
Slot none; Price 26,600 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Description
This seven-faceted crystalline staff is slightly flared at each end, encasing an adamantine weight that floats freely through an inner chamber. When the staff is used as a weapon, the weight shifts to the striking end just before impact. The staff allows the use of the following spells:
• Magic missile (1 charge)
• Shield (1 charge)
• Fireball (2 charges)
• Greater magic weapon (2 charges)
The staff of the twinned path is a +1/+1 quarterstaff, and whenever the wielder strikes a creature with the staff, he can expend one charge to spin the staff and make another attack with the other end as an immediate action. In addition, while wielding the staff as a weapon, the wielder is considered to have a free hand for the purpose of casting spells.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, Craft Staff, fireball, greater magic weapon, magic missile, shield; Cost 13,300 gp

Self critique:

Unfortunately, I felt my entry for this year was a bit on the weak side, especially compared to my entry last year.

- Looks like I missed the pricing a little bit (did not take the cost of a 2x masterwork staff out, before doubling the cost), though the two examples in the Core Rulebook are inconsistent. The Staff of Power merely doubles the cost, and the Staff of the Woodlands Removes 300g, then doubles the result. The other staves in Core don't act as magic weapons.

- The item is fairly narrow in scope, fitting best for an Eldritch Knight or Magus. This works best with the Quarterstaff Master feat which leads to another problem. The staff's ability to be spun and attack with the other end doesn't indicate if it works if it's wielded 1 handed. My intention was for it to function, though that changes which end is now the one in use.

- The spell selection is somewhat boring. I chose to stick to the Core Rulebook line of spells, picking some of the most iconic wizard spells available to fit my image of a hardened wizard/soldier. The spells enhance both aspects of the titular twinned path, but likely fail to wow anyone. I thought about adding transformation, but it broke the them of doing both wizardry and fighting together, and increased the total cost to the point that the item would have been financially inaccessible to most characters.

- The last line about hands free was intended to allow the ability to combine Quarterstaff Master, this magic staff and an object in the off hand, such as a short sword, shield or wand, without preventing the casting of spells. The wording for this could be cleaned up, and I may have been off on the pricing of this particular ability since it bends one of the basic mechanics of the game.

- One of the things people dinged me for last year was a lack of descriptive flavor text. I tried to rectify that this year, but I may have still gone too conservative in the flavor.

- Finally, I unfortunately didn't have much time to spend on this, and it really could have used a bit more time in the shop it seems.

[Andrew Black]

Acre wrote:

Ready for review. I'm all ears :)

----------------------------------

Mail of Ash Woven Ramparts
Aura faint conjuration and enchantment; CL 5th
Slot armor; Price 19,250 gp; Weight 25 lbs.
Description
The iron rings of this +1 balanced chain shirt are a pale, ashen grey. Rising from among the entwined links, a thousand gossamer cords tangle into a murky smoke that drifts away into nothingness.

Three times per day as a standard action the wearer can become wreathed in a blinding maelstrom that leaves a tangled barrier of ash in its wake. Once activated, the wearer’s next single move action creates a 10-foot high curtain of ash that hangs in the air tracing their path and remaining for one round in each square the wearer has occupied during this movement. The woven curtain of ash completely fills each of the affected squares and blocks all sight (even darkvision), causing any creature inside the cloud (except the wearer) to gain the blinded condition.

The curtain of ash does not restrict movement into or throughout its depth, but any creature attempting to leave the cloud must first succeed at an overrun combat maneuver check versus the wearer’s Combat Maneuver Defense or their movement immediately ends while still inside the cloud.

Lastly, while activated, when the wearer’s move action ends in the same square from which it started, all interior squares contained within the envelope of their movement are immediately flooded by the surrounding maelstrom of ash.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, ash storm, cat’s grace; Cost 9,750 gp

I liked the idea behind this one. I thought it was a creative way to help defend the wearer and I particularly liked the first line of description. I was confused by the last paragraph, so while you got a lot of up votes from me there were several Items I thought were equally creative that were more polished in their explanation the got my vote over this one.

[Andrew Black]

Tothric wrote:

Grave-Nettle

Aura Moderate Necromancy/Evil; CL 5th
Slot none; Price 16,850 gp; Weight 1 lbs.
Description
A dagger that looks worn and chipped, this knife has a blood-groove that is heavily stained. The pommel of the dagger is onyx. When taken in hand, this dagger hums with a soft promise of great power.

This is a +1 dagger with the human bane trait. Once per day, when the dagger slays a human and is left in the corpse for a single round, the human raises as a medium size zombie as if the wielder had just cast the lesser animate dead spell. The dagger returns to its owner’s hand after the zombie animates. This zombie is controlled by whoever wields Grave-Nettle, and counts towards the number of undead the wielder can control. Zombies created in this way obey all spoken commands to the best of their ability. After this ability is used once, the onyx pommel appears tarnished. Should all the zombies Grave-Nettle has raised be destroyed, the onyx pommel regains its glistening shine.

Should the Grave-Nettle be left unattended for more than a day, all zombies that have been created by Grave-Nettle are destroyed.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magical Arms and Armor, Animate Dead(Lesser),Summon Monster I, Spell Focus(Necromancy); Cost 7,000 gp and an Onyx worth 1,250 gp

I was not a fan of this one, sorry. I don't think it is written particularly bad..though it needs editing but I just don't think the create a zombie power is exciting so it didn't get my vote very often.

[Blitterbug]

Garrick Williams wrote:

Windpath Razor

Shamelessly copying Solspiral's layout a bit...

Good: Great thematic, loved the name.
Bad: Clarification needed for how the bull rush works. Does it follow gust of wind, or does it use the wielder's abilities?
Overall: One of my favorites of 2015, in spite of needing some additional rules clarity. The visuals just grabbed me.

[Andrew Black]

King Tius wrote:

Staff of the Vineyard

Aura moderate transmutation; CL 8th
Slot none; Price 16,200 gp; Weight 5 lbs.

Description
This wine-stained staff is hewn from the rib of a great oak wine barrel and is covered in bountiful grape vines. The vines produce enough berries to serve as rations for one medium creature per day and they regenerate with the sunrise. When used as the target of a goodberry spell, these grapes heal double the normal amount but do not increase the spell’s maximum amount of hit points cured in a 24-hour period. In addition, the bearer of this staff is immune to the effects of any entangle spell and, by expending an additional charge from the staff, can designate a number of creatures immune to the effects of any entangle spell they cast as per the Selective Spell feat. The staff allows use of the following spells:

• Entangle (1 charge)
• Goodberry (1 charge)
• Shillelagh (1 charge)
• Barkskin (2 charges)

Construction
Requirements Craft Staff, barkskin, entangle, goodberry, shillelagh; Cost 8,100 gp

So aside from the obvious pricing issue I liked this one. I liked the name and staffs description. I felt the spells and powers fit the theme pretty good and I voted for it several times. I noticed Mark Seifer shared a judges comment that the Selective Spell feat didn't work with entangle but I am okay with that. I think breaking the rules in minor ways is what magic items are supposed to do. It might have been better to say that for one additional charge the wielder can designate X number of creatures when it is used to cast entangle that are immune to the spells effects while it lasts. X then could be a specific number so the staff works equally in everyones hands and the # is dependent on the item not the ability score of the wielder. Just a thought.

[Blitterbug]

Haladir wrote:

Dirk of Treachery

Good: Interesting niche and concept. The name was a bit lackluster, but accurate at least (I saw worse).

Bad: Clarity issues with the description.
Overall: Was good, but a bit of a one-shot gimmick item. The big thematic ability stops working after the first attack in an entire encounter, since they can tell you're not their friend anymore ;)

[Vil-hatarn]

Cuirass of Distortion
Aura moderate conjuration; CL 9th
Slot armor; Price 43,165 gp; Weight 8 lbs.

Description
The plates of this +2 lamellar cuirass appear to change color depending on the viewer’s orientation. Whenever the wearer is attacked, the armor distorts space around it, diverting blows through short-range portals. This displacement grants a 20% miss chance on all attacks against the wearer. In addition, if the attacker is within 30 feet of the wearer, attacks that miss due to this effect are redirected by the spatial distortions, hitting the attacker instead. The redirected attack automatically hits, but does not deal any critical hit or precision damage.

Three times per day, instead of redirecting an attack, the wearer can redirect himself as an immediate action. The wearer is instantly transported to a space adjacent to the attacker and receives an attack of opportunity against the attacker. The attacker is considered flat-footed to the wearer for the purposes of this attack.

Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, dimension door; Cost 21,665 gp

[Andrew Black]

Keolin Portara wrote:

Angazhan’s Bloodthirsty Spear

Aura moderate transmutation; CL 6th
Slot none; Price 9,305 gp; Weight 9 lbs.
Description
This +1 keen longspear grants a cumulative +2 bonus to critical hit confirmation rolls each time the spear pierces a new living creature. This bonus dissipates as soon as the combat ends. Additionally, whenever the wielder makes a critical hit, the wielder can make an additional attack against a creature that is standing behind their original target at their highest attack bonus.
The spear is made of black hardwood with an obsidian spearpoint, lashed to the shaft with red leather. It has an ape skull mounted to the butt of the spear that sheds tears of blood each time the spear is driven into a fresh victim.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, keen edge; Cost 4653 gp

I liked the idea behind this one but not the execution. I just felt it would cause arguments at the table over keeping track of how many cumulative bonuses it had earned. Every combat trying to remember did I pierce that one with the AoO? It seems like a lot of work for something that only happens if you roll a natural 20. I did like the opportunity to get an extra attack behind the first target.

[Blitterbug]

Acre wrote:

Mail of Ash Woven Ramparts

Good: Interesting visuals, although that second sentence sounds like it belongs in a romance novel and should be read aloud by Gilbert Gottfried ;)

Bad: Firstly, no saving throw = not so good, nevermind the 'run a circuit and blind a whole crowd with no save'. Secondly, the description of how it all works is kinda clunky and missing some information; how long do these effects last? Also, a 5ft width is assumed, but not stated, so what if the wearer is Large?
Overall: Thematically cool, has some major issues.

[Blitterbug]

Brigg wrote:

Living Copperthread Net

Good: Great visuals and imaginative concept. It's the exact sort of thing I'd want to spring on players.

Bad: Living Copperthead Net, I CHOOSE YOU. While certainly amusing, the unfortunate downside of this... is it's sort of an elemental gem in net form.
Overall: I'm still a fan. But I have to admit, the monster-in-a-can effect probably dropped its chances in the contest.

(Yes, I talk about 'visuals' and 'thematic' a lot. Art is more my thing than writing, so the first visual impression means a great deal to me.)

[Blitterbug]

Feros wrote:

Courtier’s Solitaire

Good: I happen to like what I call "roleplay-enhancers", and at first glance this seems like one...

Bad: ...but it isn't. First, the specific description of how it affects your appearance didn't sit well with me. Not everyone using Bluff wants to appear 'soft', after all, especially a courtier who might be using the ring to lie convincingly about how much power and influence they have. Those should have been phrased as examples, not specifics. Secondly, and more importantly, it automatically detects concealed creatures and makes the wearer aware of their location. This effect negates skill, negates magic, and does not seem able to be countered except by antimagic.
Overall: Significantly underpriced. No one should get a budget 120ft blindsight for only 12K >_> The rest of the ring's abilities have fun potential, but need some rewriting.

[Template Fu]

As some of you have asked, my entry is below. There is so much wrong with it in the cold light of day - I can tell you it all myself :(

a) fubarred pricing - I adjusted the price for a more comfortable feel in the positioning of the item with items of similar power but FORGOT to add back in the masterwork component part - gah!
b) "+2 breastplate" should have been italicized except for the "+", i.e. "+2 breastplate" - yup, even I miss things in the cold dark pre-dawn hours >.<
c) US comma missing in the lists in the text
d) the protection benefits of the elemental body spell series I cut as it felt too much, on reflection, it should have been left in * basically you gain the level IV spell benefits when in a single form, and only level III benefits once you had split form.
e) still way too wondrous in feel
f) reflective mirror like surfaces (sigh, I always hit the meme every year >.<)
g) There is a spell called simulacrum - so I should have tried alternate wording to that to avoid confusion.

See, horrible, what was I thinking? Answer: I wasn't!

Energizing Breastplate
Aura strong abjuration and transmutation; CL 13th
Slot armor; Price 42,000 gp; Weight 30 lbs.
Description
This +2 breastplate has been lacquered with mercurial silver so that it shimmers with reflected light reminiscent of a liquid mirror.

Once per encounter the breastplate captures a spell of level 3 through 9 which deals acid, cold, electricity, fire or sonic damage and is targeting the wearer. Damage to the wearer is halved as they are transformed into a featureless simulacrum of blue flame crackling with the energy of the triggering spell.

The first time the transformed moves they leave behind a second identical simulacrum. The transformed is deemed to occupy both when resolving attacks, but is affected just once by any single attack hitting both.

The transformed moves a single simulacrum each round. While both simulacrums are 30 feet or less apart from each other, the transformed resolves their attacks from either, otherwise all their attacks in a round must come from the simulacrum of their choice.

The transformation lasts for a number of rounds equal to the level of the spell captured, or until the transformed becomes unconscious. At this time both simulacrums disperse, the transformed reverting to its original form replacing a simulacrum of its choice.
Construction
Requirements Craft Magic Arms and Armor, elemental body IV, spell turning; Cost 21,000 gp

[Blitterbug]

GM_Solspiral wrote:

Deadeye’s Shepherd

Editing nitpick: Normally something that is spiraling can be assumed to be curved as well, so the "naturally curved" was probably unnecessary ;)

Good: Has a strong visual appearance and this ties in well with the theme of the bow. Well-written, clear description. Extra effects with a ring of the ram was a neat idea.
Bad: Not really sold on summoning a battle ram. [EDIT] Should probably explain why - a longbow that summons a mount seems incongruous with the nature/size of a longbow. I know a composite longbow can be used while mounted, and it is the ranged weapon of choice in Pathfinder, but a shortbow would have felt more appropriate.
Overall: Solid. Did not see it EVER when I was voting, or I would have given it positive votes. Though personally, I'm not a fan of 'adaptive' or 'impact' on Superstar items.

[Tosscobble]

Motherly Love- felt like an intelligent weapon but wasnt. the only reason I would want to bring this into a campaign is if it WAS intelligent and someone was at risk of loosing their mind to it and go on a killing spree.

this was an "all or nothing" weapon for me. going all the way creepy would have made it work and rationalize the creepy to work for you. I could have fueled an entire adventure or more off this.

but you went half-in, leaving it unexplained and creepy in all the wrong ways. I didnt even like reading this item.

I hated this item when I could have loved it. back to the drawing board with it.

[varathiel]

I'd like to submit mine for critiques as well. Unfortunately I do not have the final version saved as I a last minute proof reading with the preview function before I submitted. If anyone has mine saved somewhere, it would be a big help if you could post it for me or PM it to me.

It is the Rod of Gravimetric Attraction.

I felt good about it going in and I did see some people mentioning items that did ranged drags and how they should use Pull instead. My argument to that is that the Pull universal monster ability is not mutable like a combat maneuver. It is always a set distance and, from I was able to ascertain from a quick perusal of the SRD, frequently requires a hit with a melee attack to get the chance at the effect. If would require just as much, if not more, words to alter the Pull ability to suit the effect I was going for.

I await the postmortem for my dead item.

Thank you,

Varathiel

[Blitterbug]

Raynulf wrote:

Motherly Love

Good: Fun roleplaying tool. Especially if the player crafted it themselves, my god. Well written, other than missing a 'composite' there at the top. I think the "slightly creepy" is a good thing - too much creepy would have been going overboard and not actually been in line with the nature of the item (which doesn't seem particularly evil, just overprotective and demanding... like many mothers* ;) ).

Bad: The item being intelligent and able to communicate its desire to mother people would have been cooler (however I don't think intelligent items were supposed to be in the contest). Essentially, it's a cursed bow with peculiarities... but a personality would have made it better.
Overall: Has potential. Personally, I like a bit of subtle horror in my role-playing games, and would take something like this over "weapon that makes you go crazy" any day.

* I'm a mother. I'm allowed to say that ;)