Iammars |
1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Awesome, Selene! Glad to hear you're doing well.
In other news, I was up until 12:30 this morning writing Steven Universe fanfiction. WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE
Don't worry about it. I've basically spent the past two weeks writing fan fiction. It's lots of fun!
(Now, I did it as a Pathfinder adventure so that I had an excuse to have fun with stat blocks, but let's be honest, it's fan fiction.)
Happy Trans Day of Visibility everyone! I celebrated by actually taking a good picture of myself for once and not just hiding behind Gom-Gom for all my communication.
Iammars |
3 people marked this as a favorite. |
Hope everyone's weekend is off to a great start :3
*channels positive feelings and offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants or needs some*
My weekend is off to a great start so far! I'm super giddy!
CrystalSeas |
6 people marked this as a favorite. |
It's never too late
90 year old WWII vet comes out as trans
Selene Spires |
@Rysky: *hugs* so far the weekend has been good.
@Johnson Napier: *hugs* I have been troubled sleeping due to pain in my shoulder lately...so know it sucks. What happened Yesterday?
@lammars: LOL
@CrystalSeas: And I thought I came out late in life.
@Cindy: I try to be very patient with people when it comes to calling me Selene...it just takes time.
Selene Spires |
Selene, it's even more difficult for toddlers. I don't make it easy because sometimes I am Bob and sometimes I am Cindy.
Oh I realize that...and your situration is very different than mine. Though I think it is more difficult for my friends because they have known me by my birth name for so long...and I have not started physically transitioning yet. That is why part of me wants to start doing that so bad.
My straight friend who has made a effort to call me Selene introduced me today as Selene to his friends who don't know me at his birthday party. Their reaction was lackluster...more because I have not started physically transitioning yet...though a few looked away...shrug. None them called me Selene...I think in hindsight he should have given them advanced warning.
In unrelated...news...I came out over text to a friend...I have been trying to see her in person but she has been super busy with stuff (and probably on the verge of becoming a crazy cat lady). Her response was that she knew that all ready. Which is a similar response that my friend got when he told his girlfriend that I had came out to him. I wonder if they really knew.
Cindy Robertson |
They may have already known or they probably know you well enough that they have suspected for a long time.
I don't have any childhood friends. I grew up military and so I moved around so much I didn't create any lasting friendships. The very few people who found me on Facebook that I told (remember that the internet wasn't even a thing when I graduated) I'm not friends with anymore. I just don't like any of the people I graduated with. I didn't like them then. I don't like them now. Turns out that they are the same vapid bigots that I knew almost 30 years ago.
I do think that it's sometimes easier to start with people knowing who are are rather than who you used to be.
CrystalSeas |
Bob_Loblaw |
I haven't seen it. I never heard of it until now.
I think that it's really odd that I was given so much strength and courage from being in a military family and then being in the military myself and yet I am terrified to be myself. I hate who I am and I don't know how to address it.
I really wish that I could just be one or the other. I wish that I wasn't afraid of what others thought of me. I wish that I didn't have other problems (PTSD from childhood trauma, bipolar, anxiety disorder, etc.) that make facing this even harder.
That being said, I am happy that I have found someone who wants to spend time with both Bob and Cindy.
Qunnessaa |
5 people marked this as a favorite. |
Hope everyone's weekend is off to a great start :3
*channels positive feelings and offers hugs to anyone and everyone that wants or needs some*
It’s been a while since I’ve posted in this thread, since things have been (and are only going to get more) busy as we hurtle towards the end of term at my school, but I thought I’d share some happy thoughts from recently.
Not this weekend but last, I was lucky enough to get to read some poetry at a queer arts festival on campus. It was a lovely event: a bit hectic, since it was played a bit by ear, but the people were very nice.
And then this weekend I got some news from doctors back home about transition-related things, so more pieces are beginning to fall into place for getting me where I would like to be. There’s a lot to balance between final papers and exams and conferences coming up and various other commitments, but isn’t that the way it always is?
I hope everyone else's April is looking hopeful.
Slothsy |
Ugh, I posted a dumb thing for trans day of visibility and all I got was a lecture from my cousin about being a "minority of a minority" and needing to accept that the world isn't going to change for me. Then I spent last night with friends who continue to use she/her pronouns for me and like... I'm disheartened y'all. I'm very disheartened.
Hrothdane |
3 people marked this as a favorite. |
Ugh, I posted a dumb thing for trans day of visibility and all I got was a lecture from my cousin about being a "minority of a minority" and needing to accept that the world isn't going to change for me. Then I spent last night with friends who continue to use she/her pronouns for me and like... I'm disheartened y'all. I'm very disheartened.
Ugh...I'm so sorry. I truly despise people who go around minimizing us. We don't just want the world to change; we need it to as a matter of survival.
Selene Spires |
Ugh, I posted a dumb thing for trans day of visibility and all I got was a lecture from my cousin about being a "minority of a minority" and needing to accept that the world isn't going to change for me. Then I spent last night with friends who continue to use she/her pronouns for me and like... I'm disheartened y'all. I'm very disheartened.
Wow that has to have been annoying.
My response to your cousin would have been along the line of...all I need is for the world to accept the changes in me or something like that.
And I am being very patient with my friends...and don't expect anything overnight. And I appreciate my friends who make the effort...but I get the sense from some that they are not even trying. Which is really annoying.
But *hugs*
Wei Ji the Learner |
*hugs* For the Hug Gawd?
I'm still figuring things out, but my 'gut' feeling is that for some people 'Person is still person' and 'What else do I need to do other than acknowledge that?' might be why the 'feeling of not trying' might happen?
At least, that's my hope.
This does not sound like a couple of people I used to know, when the topic of transgender came up and they became exceptionally defensive/offensive about it 'not really being a thing, and "why would a person DO that to themselves?" '
True story, was riding home with a former acquaintance from a LARP when the topic came up. They threw the vehicle into 'Park' and told me to get out of their car...
The following half-mile hike home with all of my costuming and paperwork was a trial, but it was educational...
T.A.G.s Dad |
Must be a rare thing that everyone seems to have a issue with any one from any community. I have been gaming for a long time, I have a gay GM, his brother also gay plays on roll20. We have a sexually confused guy in my home table top game. Heck my first group consisted of a crossdresser and a bi married couple that the husband ran some of my most memorable games.
I have never understood why a persons sexuality should ever be a issue in the game we all love to play. I mean the basis of the game if you want to think of it is all about playing something you are not, so why be a "Homophobe" or what ever else you want to call it.
I am open to all my game groups I run that if anyone is not accepted for who they are they are not welcome at my table or even back in my home. I hate racism and sexualism...there is already too much hate in this world why play in a imaginary world that you bring the real world thoughts of what you feel is right or wrong.
sorry, rant over, game on NERDS!!!
@Cindy I would love to read your book sometime.
@Selene Best of luck on the quitting smoking thats one of the hardest things to do ive heard.
@Qunnessaa: Could we see what poetry you read?
Bob_Loblaw |
2 people marked this as a favorite. |
Ugh, I posted a dumb thing for trans day of visibility and all I got was a lecture from my cousin about being a "minority of a minority" and needing to accept that the world isn't going to change for me. Then I spent last night with friends who continue to use she/her pronouns for me and like... I'm disheartened y'all. I'm very disheartened.
The world is changing and it's changing for us. It's not going to change quickly. It's going to change though. Those who choose to be on the front lines will make it easier for us. I don't want to be a warrior in this fight. I don't have the strength for it. I will be forever grateful to those who are.
What I've started doing is correcting people on the spot. My friend's mother-in-law was talking about her niece who came out as trans and wants to be male. I immediately said, "your nephew came out as himself." Ever time she said anything about her niece or used a female designation, I corrected her immediately. This 70 year old woman was able to adapt her words within 10 minutes. If she can (and she's a bigot, trust me I know her personally), then anyone can.
Selene Spires |
@Wei Jim the Learner: Yeah...I am personally getting the vibe one or two people are uncomfortable. Most likely due to a lack of exposure and they are used to thinking of me as a guy. Hopefully my journey will help open their minds.
@T.A.G.s Dad: To be fair...or at least understanding is that people who are not exposed to something will not know how to react...or act out of ignorance and fear (it is unfortunately a common human reaction to fear what they do not understand). I prefer to deal with those people with compassion and understanding...as long as they don't get too annoying and rude.
Slothsy |
3 people marked this as a favorite. |
Slothsy wrote:Ugh, I posted a dumb thing for trans day of visibility and all I got was a lecture from my cousin about being a "minority of a minority" and needing to accept that the world isn't going to change for me. Then I spent last night with friends who continue to use she/her pronouns for me and like... I'm disheartened y'all. I'm very disheartened.Ugh...I'm so sorry. I truly despise people who go around minimizing us. We don't just want the world to change; we need it to as a matter of survival.
Yes. And, likewise, being told that the world won't change how it uses pronouns isn't news to me. I've been living in this world and trying to survive in it for so long. Despite being very vocal about my pronouns (as far as I feel safe to do so) hasn't actually lead to most people respecting them. I have one friend who is fantastic about it and a handful who are trying, but the majority of my interactions are really crap. It makes me want to withdraw from social interactions because, well, can't get misgendered if you never leave the house.
quibblemuch |
1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Hrothdane wrote:Yes. And, likewise, being told that the world won't change how it uses pronouns isn't news to me. I've been living in this world and trying to survive in it for so long. Despite being very vocal about my pronouns (as far as I feel safe to do so) hasn't actually lead to most people respecting them. I have one friend who is fantastic about it and a handful who are trying, but the majority of my interactions are really crap. It makes me want to withdraw from social interactions because, well, can't get misgendered if you never leave the house.Slothsy wrote:Ugh, I posted a dumb thing for trans day of visibility and all I got was a lecture from my cousin about being a "minority of a minority" and needing to accept that the world isn't going to change for me. Then I spent last night with friends who continue to use she/her pronouns for me and like... I'm disheartened y'all. I'm very disheartened.Ugh...I'm so sorry. I truly despise people who go around minimizing us. We don't just want the world to change; we need it to as a matter of survival.
The world is changing--has changed, and will continue to change. Those who expect trans people (or anyone whose visibility is increasing) to sit down, shut up, and disappear are demanding that the world change for them--that it change back to what it was or that it change from its current course of increased openness, visibility, and effortful empathy.
It's the petulant double standard of power on the wane.