Cindy Robertson's page

Woo! Doctor visit went well, she took the news of me transitioning well, approved me for spiro and recommended a closer-to-home endo in case I need in-person visits that I wouldn't need to drive three hours for.

That's awesome!

And it begins!

Patches gotten. Can't do pills or injections currently as apparently with my pre-diabetes and high blood pressure there's some health concerns. Ditto on anti-androgens - apparently both they and one of my BP meds can spike your blood potassium, so need to get the okay from my GP before I can take both at the same time.

But it's a start nonetheless! Here goes nothing!

That's awesome! I have limiations also because of health concerns. I can say that once I got going on things, my dysphoria got better. It doesn't go away, but it does get better. I needed to also get more focused therapy to help. CBT and DBT are game changers when it comes to therapy. They take a lot of work, but they are worth it.

I live in a very liberal state and I couldn't get my estrogen or spironolactone until I was evaluated by a therapist. That took a few sessions. I was able to get my HRT pretty quickly after that.

When I started, honestly the best support I wanted was the non-hostile apathy. I really didn't want a big fuss about it. I just wanted people to respect my journey and treat me the same way they always have.

Cindy Robertson wrote:

My health care and disability income are going to be taken away.

I am so sorry. I'm sure you had to fight like hell to get even that assistance.

I don't know the details of your current housing and employment situations, but is there any possibility of you relocating to a state with shield laws*? I know it would be far from ideal and would likely be a difficult undertaking (especially financially), but is there a possibility?

* Edit: Looks like their web server is overloaded right now.

Edit 2: Couple other sites are getting hammered too. A lot of worried folks out there. I did find Erin Reed's current map; at the bottom of the article is a map with the states that have the strongest state protections for LGBTIQ+ folk. Maybe a place to start researching.

I live in Washington state. We have a lot of protections, until the Supreme Court decides that we don't. I fully expect them to make things worse. My medical care and disability are federally funded so my health care can be taken away by the next administration. He did it before. This time, I expect Congress to enshrine it into law.

In slightly better news, apparently PP in KS does do telehealth for gender-affirming therapy and treatment, so I won't have to drive for two hours to visit them in person. I'll need to see about picking up a webcam while I'm out at therapy tonight.

If you are on Facebook, there's a group you can join called Buy Nothing. Someone might have a webcam to gift you.

My health care and disability income are going to be taken away.

I will probably be gone for quite some time. Today's election has shown me that my own country doesn't want me around. I need to figure things out.

I don't think that it's as simple as [insert trans thing here]. I know a lot of cis people who enjoy exploring their gender, but they are still very much cis. They may wear skirts sometimes, but they still identify as male or they may wear makeup, but are still male. They may be AFAB, but wear mostly men's clothing because it's more comfortable and they dislike makeup, and work on cars, etc, but are still very much women.

That's all great news (except your transphobic family)! Remember that we don't need labels for ourselves. They are to help others. I'm still working on figuring out which labels apply to me, but I've learned to accept myself for myself without them. It's been so much easier for me.

I apologize for this, but I need to yell loudly. I have had it up to my gills with the nonsense of the government of the state I live in: Florida.

"Don't say Gay" - Removal of all LGBT discussion in K-12 classrooms.
Book bannings - I can't even count how many
Government saying Pride is "inappropriate" for Florida
and now: acting as if Lawrance v. Texas had been overturned. Apparently Florida's Lewd and lascivious behavior law is still on the books and can be used to prosecute people who hooks up with someone of the same sex.

I feel like I'm living in Nazi Germany. How long before all of my friends are locked up?

Seriously? They know that they are attacking people who can't afford to fight this. It's outrageous.

Happy Bisexual Awareness Month to all who celebrate! Remember that you have to have at least two parties this month!

I'm doing ok. I just celebrated my 53rd birthday! We planned on going to a water park, but the weather decided that we should do something indoors so we watched Deadpool & Wolverine instead.

On Friday, June 21st, I have an appointment for a consultation for bottom surgery! I've been waiting more than a year for this! It's only the consultation, so I suspect it's still a year away for the actual surgery. This is such a great thing to happen during Pride month!

I want to start with a blanket apology to anyone I've spoken to over the years who I've insulted or hurt in those past days with my often arrogant, self-righteous statements born of stupidity and ignorance. Sadly the years are just too long and the posts too many to track them down individually, and thus a proper one-to-one acknowledgement of my mistakes is probably beyond my capabilities. That, and many of the people I had those old arguments and debates with are likely no longer among the community here, or those discussions are forgotten and I'd rather move on forward than dig up old wounds unnecessarily.

That said... one non-binary asexual better educated in reality and other people than I was in days gone by. Here's to a better future for all of us.

I don't recall us ever having any beef, but if so, it's in the past. Welcome to our little club! We all have had to grow over time. I used to be homophobic, transphobic, racist, misogynistic, etc., but I've grown a lot. I came to realizr that I didn't know I was those things, and I'm a trans woman. I still make mistakes because I'm always growing. That's what makes us become better people in the end.

Welcome!

Freehold DM wrote:

Everyone, a moment of your time.

One of my oldest friends and gaming companions has just come out to me as transgender. I have known this person for over 20 years, and this is...well, I am shocked. Beyond shocked. I never knew this of them in any way.

I'm happy they were in a place where they could come out to the gaming group. Actually, I am beyond happy that they would be able to do so. But the shock is still there.

I hope the shock doesnt make me a bad person. But this news is less than 2 minutes old, and this was the first place I came to, the only place I could think of.

Wow.

I mean.

Wow.

I never even thought or suspected...

My friend from above just informed me they are going for bottom surgery tomorrow.

Wow.

WOW.

I will stop by the hospital to see how they healing this Saturday, after hanging out with someone from these very messageboards.

That's awesome! I'm still waiting for my consultation. I've been waiting for about a year already. Let us know how things go!

And now the day where we can disappear if we wish to with two simple words. :)

John Cena?

PEOPLE! SO MANY PEOPLE VISIBLE TO ME! MORESO THAN NORMAL! AAAHHHH!

Today is the day we have a -20 to our stealth checks!

Ugh, I hope it may just have hit me particularly hard. I'm not seeing it anywhere else yet, and hopefully that can stay that way. There was a bizarre editorial at The Guardian; I've put a link in the spoiler below.

** spoiler omitted **

It's deeply unpleasant stuff, so if anyone decides to brave it, be ready to - I don't know - touch grass? put on some really angry music? responsibly self-medicate? call a holy crusade in the name of the Syrian Goddess / Inanna?

Or, I guess, vent? With me, if you like, either here or by PM? ‍♀️

On the bright side again, let's see... Oh, I've started listening to audiobooks while I do a bit of embroidery. Recent listens that get the Qunnessaa stamp of approval, for something light while plying a needle, include Casey McQuiston's I Kissed Shara Wheeler and Ami McKay's The Witches of New York. (The latter wraps up its main plot but dangles plot hooks...

I read the article and it's definitely misleading. It links to The Telegraph, which I'm not going to pay for a subscription to, but the headline says that doctors are hiding the risks of cancer with HRT. However, I knew about the risks before I started because there were already studies on it.

They are hyping this up because they want to get transphobes riled up. It's going to work because people don't actually read any links provided to get more information. For example, the article links to the WPATH guidelines, which do remove age restrictions, but instead go with when the patient hits puberty, which is different for everyone. The article mentions it, but not very clearly.

It's been a while since I've checked in on this thread (it's been a long few years, and I'm a belle grognarde who still hasn't dabbled her toes in PF2, so my forum time tends to focus on my play-by-post games, but I thought folks here might have some insight on current affairs?

It's not happy news, so I'll put the lurid details in spoilers, but what's up with the WPATH stuff?
** spoiler omitted **

Trying to find a happier note, the student insurance provider at my school has recently broadened its coverage for gender-affirming care, so I need to look into that for some last odds-and-ends that would be helpful for me.

I hope everyone's staying safe out there, as best as they can. <3

I hadn't heard anything about it. I'll have to do some research on it. I'm very confused about what's happening.

This morning, a pioneer in gaming passed away. Jennell Jaquays had been working in game design and development since the 1970s. Her work on Dungeons and Dragons alone shaped role-playing games for future generations. She was also an artist, with her art on novels as well as many game products. She's the one who coined the word "dungeoneer".
She was also a trans activist. Her work helping families of transgender youth saved lives.

I considered her a friend. I didn't know her well, but she always made herself available when I had questions.

She is survived by her wife, Rebecca Heineman, who has worked in video game design since the days of the Commodore 64 and created many games that I enjoyed growing up. Her work laid the foundation for games that are beloved today, including Baldur's Gate that many of you are enjoying today. Becky won the very first video game tournament in 1980. She was also an activist, laying the foundation for laws within my own state of Washington that have protected the lives of LGBTQ+ people and given us rights that we had previously been denied.
They had 5 children.

The world is a little darker today.

This hit me harder than I thought it would. She, along with others, created an environment where I can not only live, but thrive. I will forever be grateful.

I don't do resolutions. I will wish the best that the world offers to you. May your lives be filled with everlasting peace, love, and harmony.

splashes into the thread throwing holiday tinsel all around

A slightly-off-center request here:

I'm working on the community guidelines for a new website with a discussion board for members.

Do any of you have good examples of well-written community guidelines that you have found to be useful, helpful, written in a kind way, or otherwise framed positively that are also good at protecting marginalized individuals?

While I find the "don't do this!" lists to be slightly amusing (I'm always trying to figure out the scenario that prompted that particular rule), I'm mostly looking for content that will clearly frame how the community can be vibrant without being contentious.

Any links or suggestions greatly appreciated.

I'm an admin in a board game group on Facebook. These are our rules. While not perfect, we do revist them periodically to make sure that they align with the goals of the group.

This Group is a Safe Space - Be Kind Always
This group is a safe space for trans and cis women, as well as all non-binary folks. We welcome self-proclaimed veteran gamers and beginners alike, and want to keep this community safe and welcoming for everyone. Please remember that this is an international group and give everyone the benefit of the doubt. If anything is off, contact the modmins – and be kind, always.

All Non-Binary Folks Belong Here
All non-binary people are valid and welcome here regardless of their assigned gender at birth, pronouns or gender expression. This group is theirs and they belong here. Non-binary people are NOT women lite, or any other subset of women. By joining our community, you confirm that you agree.

No Sales, Charity, or Spam Posts Allowed
We don't tolerate spam, charity or sales posts, or any type of post asking people to spend or donate money. We're an international group and these posts cause confusion. We also want to protect our members from charity fatigue. Posts breaking this rule will be deleted.

No Business Pages or Profiles
We only accept requests from personal profiles. This is to help keep our group free of promotions and ads. Join requests from business profiles will be rejected. If you're a woman or non-binary person with a board game related project or business, please join on your personal profile. You can then share your project on one of our dedicated creator or crowdfunding threads.

No Self-Promoption Posts Without Admin Permission
If you want to post about content or a project you're connected to, you must ask an admin each time. We delete all unapproved posts. **This includes anything that someone running a project asks you to post or reshare** We'll only approve if: ✓ It's been more than 4 weeks since your last promo post ✓ Your post starts with a question or asks for feedback ✓ You've already been in the group a while We have a monthly 'creator corner' thread where you can share your work without asking.

No Hate Speech, Bullying, or Personal Attacks
Bullying, hate speech, and personal attacks are STRICTLY FORBIDDEN. We love conversations but we hate fights. Please, always remember to act with kindness and report misbehavior to the admins.

Respect One Another
We discuss board games but we also have occasional debates on several issues within the Community here. Having a different opinion than someone else is in no way a reason to disrespect, belittle or attack them. Please ALWAYS reply with kindness.

Inviting Other People
When you 'invite' someone to the group, they often don't get notified of the invite at all. In most cases it just automatically submits a join request on their behalf, without telling them, asking them our membership questions or checking they agree with our group rules. That means the request might be auto-rejected. To solve this, when inviting people to the group please only invite by using the 'share' option to send a link via messenger, so the person can request to join the usual way.

To Report a Post to Us, Comment "Admin" on it
Instead of using the 'Report to admins' button, please comment 'admin', 'mod' or 'modmin' under the content. This immediately flags it to us for review and we will deal with it.

Purposeful Off-Topic Posts Are Allowed
Off-topic posts are allowed as long as they don't go against the other rules.

We have been trying to find more ways to have the rules be more positive, but we have found that it's a lot easier to have the rule be concise, and sometimes that means that we need to have negatives. I can say that we have 6 people running a group with over 8,000 members and we have very little to do. The group is consistently growing. It's an overall positive place to be where people can discuss gaming and issues related to gaming without fear that they will be ostracized for it.

I hope everyone had a great holiday and that the new year starts off well for you!

Over the weekend, I was at my FLGS for some board games. There were a bunch of teens getting ready for their 5E session. I bought everyone at the table a set of dice. One girl picked up some pink dice and I mentioned that they were the lesbian pride colors. (The dice were from Heartbeat Dice.) She said that was perfect because she's a lesbian. Then one of the other young ladies looked at her dice and said, "That's good because I got the bi dice and now that we're dating, we have matching dice!"

That really makes me happy!

Cindy Robertson wrote:

I was approached by the Pride organization for my community to join them and help out. I don't know yet what that would require, but I have been thinking more and more that I want to be an advocate for the LGBTQ community with a focus on transgender people.

Has anyone joined their local LGBTQ organization and are willing to share their experiences, negative, positive, and neutral?

I just got roped into being on the board of our local trans support group this week.

What do you think?

I was approached by the Pride organization for my community to join them and help out. I don't know yet what that would require, but I have been thinking more and more that I want to be an advocate for the LGBTQ community with a focus on transgender people.

Has anyone joined their local LGBTQ organization and are willing to share their experiences, negative, positive, and neutral?

I was told that the city I live near was hosting an event for veterans today. All I had to do was sign up. There would be a guest speaker and a free lunch plus a bunch of sponsors. So I signed up and brought a friend.

My reason for signing up is to start networking with a few other veterans and the local LGBTQ organization that is starting up in the city. My friend is part of a nonprofit that helps veterans and since it's just starting up she wanted to network also.

Well, the event was bit more than I expected. The speaker is a Vietnam veteran who draws portraits of fallen troops for Gold Star families at no charge. These are amazing portraits. He has done it for British and Polish troops as well. Poland had their first veterans event because of him. He's just an amazing guy.

The food was also not what I expected. I thought maybe some sandwiches or pizza. Nope. A 3 course meal. The wait staff came over and put the dressing on our salad for us. The table was formal. The entrée was herb chicken on mashed potatoes with baby carrots. The dessert was our choice of raspberry chocolate cake or carrot cake.

They also presented a large sheet cake for the Marines because it's their birthday. They had a Marine version who also served during Vietnam cut the cake with a sword.

The entire event was a great experience. I met a lot of really great people. It was far more than I was expecting.

Musk perpetuates hate. He created a safe space for evil people to gather and went out of his way to enhance their voices while while silencing good people.

According to my Facebook memories, today is my 4 year anniversary of taking estrogen! Yeah! A few days ago was the 8 year anniversary of my stroke. I want to boo that, but yeah! I'm alive!

Congrats to both keftiu and Kittyburger!

Thank you for the backstory. This is the only thread I follow anymore on here. I don't play Pathfinder enough anymore to follow any other threads so I'm often out of the loop.

What happened?

It's been a little while since anyone has checked in. I had a birthday a couple days ago. I'm now 52 so I'm finally playing with a full deck. I had a great birthday overall. It did end on a sour note though. For 3 consecutive years, my parents have not acknowledged my existence. Not just for my birthday, but for literally everything. Ever since I legally changed my name, they want nothing to do with me. I chose to accept their terms and no longer try and reach out to them either. That means that I unfriended my dad on Facebook. I had tried to reach out to him before then, for a couple weeks, with no response. As soon as I clicked that button, I started crying and have been crying off and on since. I really wish that my family could love me. I have come to realize that they probably never really did. Now, I have to process all of this and work on changing my thoughts.

I'm not ok right now, but I will be. I have an amazing support system in place. My friends have rallied around me and they are providing the support I need right now. I don't know why I'm writing all this out to all of you. I just feel like some of you might understand.

That's awesome news Gwenn!

Today is the 3 year anniversary of my legal name change! Woot!

It's still a nice nod because just 10 years ago we probably would have seen them gendered.

If you get a chance to watch The Empire Strips Back, go. It's worth every penny! It's a Star Wars burlesque show. It was amazing!

On a happier note: My confidence level has risen to the point that I'm extremely happy with who I am. I'm going on dates (and having to actually schedule them so that I don't forget when they are). I've had to turn down dates because I'm getting so many guys wanting to meet me. I've been going to the pool more often, and using the women's locker room, without incident. I'm so incredibly happy with my life now. I'm still waiting for the consultation for my bottom surgery, but I'm trying to be patient.

If you want the link to the exact page and the profile picture they chose, here it is. There are a bunch of trans women there who have been targeted. I only ask that you report. Do not engage. That's what they want. There are far too many trans women and girls who don't have the coping skills in place to protect themselves from this and I fear that they will harm themselves. Hopefully we can save a few along the way.

If you're on Facebook, can you please report a page called Men Follower and Men Follower 2.0. They are a hate group that shares profile pictures of trans women in hopes to dox us and intimidate us. I was targeted today. I know that it won't stop them, but it will get their pages shut down and they will have to start over so it will slow them down.

I'm not worried about my safety. I encourage them to find me and find out what infantry veterans are capable and willing to do (I have many combat veteran friends plus myself as well trained). We have some really nice hospitals up here and I don't mind introducing them to our health care system. I'm more worried about the younger trans girls and women and their families and friends. I don't know how they will handle the hate.

I got my pictures back from my boudoir shoot and I'm in tears seeing myself. I feel so incredible! If you haven't done one and have been wondering if you should, the answer is yes, you should.

I don't have pictures yet, but last week I did a boudoir shoot. It was amazing! I highly recommend it! The photographer was wonderful. She kept me at ease the whole time. I brought my own oitfits, and she had several that she wanted me to try as well. I can't tell you how euphoric I felt!

Cindy Robertson wrote:

All my paperwork is in so I can get the consult for bottom surgery! There are about 150 people in front of me and he only does consults on Fridays. He's a professor of urology and does these surgeries. It's estimated that I can get an appointment for August. I'm excited!

Congrats! I turned in my second letter this week and am just waiting on insurance and a surgery date.

That's awesome!

All my paperwork is in so I can get the consult for bottom surgery! There are about 150 people in front of me and he only does consults on Fridays. He's a professor of urology and does these surgeries. It's estimated that I can get an appointment for August. I'm excited!

Welcome, Skillbert!

Well, I just spent 5 days in Georgia. I live in the Seattle area and I was invited to spend some time with a friend for her birthday along with 16 other women! Holy crap! That's a crowded house. We've all known each other for a few years, but I hadn't met any of them in person. They have known that I'm trans and been helping me along with my journey.

I was worried about the TSA, especially in Georgia. Not only did I not have any issues, I'm not even sure if they realized that I'm trans. They always used the proper pronouns. The airlines all did as well. Strangers did too.

My friends never treated me as a trans woman. They treated me as a woman. Sure, we had a couple conversations about transitioning, but those were few. They talked about things that women talk about when the men folk aren't around. It was great to be fully embraced. I felt normal.

I even went to a game store out there. It was LGBTQ friendly, and the person at the register was either gender non-conforming or trans. I never asked, but they definitely were AMAB, but didn't fit into the normal masculine mold expected in society, especially in Marietta, GA. The customers all treated me wonderfully, using proper pronouns and just talking about games.

I'm mentioning this because the states that are trying to make life difficult don't necessarily represent the people that live there.

I don't know who knows Owen Stephens or his wife LJ. Owen has had a very difficult time lately with some very serious medical issues. Clots and a pulmenary embolism. Now, the guy has colon cancer. He's a really nice guy and a huge ally. He has a Humble Bundle out for 2E stuff for just $10 so he can raise some money to help with these bills that are going to keep coming.

All of my photo IDs are now updated. Woot woot!

That's awesome! I'm just waiting for my Real ID to come in and I think that the most important things will be done for me.

I called Medicare this morning and they cover bottom surgery. My plan covers it 100%. I'm going to start the process. It's time.

Date finally happened! He's definitely a really sweet guy. We talked for about 90 minutes. The only reason we stopped was because I said I needed to get going.

During the whole date we talked a little bit about our military service. He briefly mentioned that he is twice divorced and has 3 kids. Then we talked about Dungeons and Dragons and Pathfinder. A lot. We both play and we could have talked for hours.

What we never talked about was me being trans. It never once came up. I was ready for basic questions, but he asked nothing. It was really nice to just be Cindy instead of Trans Cindy.

We hugged when we left and we're going to have a second date.
I'm incredibly happy!