Inspired by a post on the creative process thread, I thought it would be fun to see what people can make out of a randomly generated magic item name.
So...
Go here.
Pick and generate an item that would fall in the wondrous item category.
Do your best to write up an item inspired by that name that someone would actually want to use.
I got "Chaotic Sandals of the Glorified Invocation of the Benevolent Journeyman."
...
Wow. That's a mouthful. I'll get back to it after dinner.
Holy Swimmers' Greaves of Unholy Climbers......um, WHA?????
Okay, here we go:
Chaotic Sandals of the Glorified Invocation of the Benevolent Journeyman
These lace-up sandals of strange golden leather are gifts given by an azata lord to devotees. When worn, ribbons of crackling silver energy can be seen running along the straps and laces. As a standard action, the wearer can stamp his left foot and produce a thunderclap. All those within a 30 foot radius are stunned and knocked prone (DC 20 Fort save to avoid the stunning effect). Stamping the right foot sends a burst of blue lightning out in a 30 foot radius, doing 5d6 damage and staggering those in the area of effect (DC 20 Reflex save to avoid the staggering effect and half the damage).
As a full round action, the wearer can leap into the air and stomp the ground with both feet, enacting the thunder and lightning effects simultaneously. Each effect, whether used separately or in combination, can be invoked 3 times a day.
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When worn by an evil-aligned creature, these greaves allow you to climb over holy swimmers as though climbing an unknotted rope (DC 15 Climb check).
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I also got a Club of Nothing Conjuration.
Methinks it'll be easy to price!
'Returner's Lute of Barbaric Vipers'
Without doing a full writeup on it, I'd say that it's a lute (duh) that causes the user to be affected by protection from arrows when played. Through expending rounds of bardic performance per arrow affected, the user can cause arrows to be turned around in midflight, launched back at the archer who fired them, and transformed into venomous snakes affected by the rage spell.
I also got a Club of Nothing Conjuration.
Methinks it'll be easy to price!
Unless it summons up temporary spheres of annihilation...
'Returner's Lute of Barbaric Vipers'
Without doing a full writeup on it, I'd say that it's a lute (duh) that causes the user to be affected by protection from arrows when played. Through expending rounds of bardic performance per arrow affected, the user can cause arrows to be turned around in midflight, launched back at the archer who fired them, and transformed into venomous snakes affected by the rage spell.
Nice! Take that, arcane archers!
Unless it summons up temporary spheres of annihilation...I also got a Club of Nothing Conjuration.
Methinks it'll be easy to price!
Pah. That smells to me like a SIAC.
Pah. That smells to me like a SIAC.Unless it summons up temporary spheres of annihilation...I also got a Club of Nothing Conjuration.
Methinks it'll be easy to price!
Okay, how about summoning the Nothing from Neverending Story: a great howling vortex of darkness that swallows everything in its path? Though I suppose that's more artifact level magic than anything else.
Hello there, Infamous Gnomes' Bracelet. What the ..?
Heh heh, well for fun I went ahead and tried this out, and I got something rather simple in name (but not a wondrous item)...
Lizard's Plate Mail and I've already got a basic idea for it. General idea is that is it plate mail made from lizard hide (and I'm thinking "thunder" lizards here... like triceratops or some-such) that can be worn by druids without incurring the normal armor restriction penalties. (And I might tie it into the "saurian druid" archetype somehow as well, or at least give a additional bonus for a saurian druid that dons the Lizard's Plate Mail) More on this later.
Cheers!
RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16
,
Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7
aka Draconas
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Heh, I like my random: Garment Of The Agile Insect.
These durable, light clothes appear to be woven of the finest silks by a master craftsman. They have been dyed in brillant shades of red and blue with an arachnid motif highlighting the whole suit in mithral thread. When donned, the garment of the agile insect allows the wearer to scale walls and ceilings as if under the effects of a constant spiderclimb spell. In addition, as a swift action, the wearer may use the suit to secrete a thick strand of silk-like material that stretchs from the suit's palm to an object up to 120ft away. If the strand is anchored to a stable structure, the garment's wearer can make a move action to swing along the strand's arc, moving up to twice the distance from the anchoring point to the wearer.
Also while worn, the garment of the agile insect bestows a +5 morale bonus to any Bluff and Intimidate checks that involve witty banter.
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Joshua, you forgot to include the second use of moment of prescience among the powers granted by the garment of Spider-M... er, garment of the agile insect.
Love that generator. My favorites that I have generated over time:
Worldly Rugged Charm (yes, those words exactly)
Keg of Become Lady
Glorified Moccasins of Transform Infertility
Pants of Sludge Clouds (pretty sure that violates a few auto reject items...)
and for random length
Past Icy Pendant of the Vicious Bane's Conjuration of Light
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Keg of Become Lady
Worst. Frat party. Ever.
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RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32, RPG Superstar 2010 Top 16
,
Marathon Voter Season 6, Dedicated Voter Season 7
aka Draconas
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Another one I got, thought was funny but discarded for actually writing up, was the Spear of Seduce Assassins. So does that summon you seductive assassins or let you seduce killers for hire?
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Keg of Become LadyWorst. Frat party. Ever.
Less talking, more drinking, pledge. Now put on this dress and wig.
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RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16
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Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka JoelF847
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Another one I got, thought was funny but discarded for actually writing up, was the Spear of Seduce Assassins. So does that summon you seductive assassins or let you seduce killers for hire?
[double entendre]...with your spear...[/double entendre]
I got:
Haunted Humans' Earrings of Magma and Intoxication
I believe they are magic earrings that give you a bonus to not passing out after taking one too many praire fire shots (tequila and tabasco sauce). However, when you reach a point of intoxication, you can see ghosts.
Banded Mail of the Abjuration of Distance and Charisma
Distance and Charisma eh? I think you see where this is going...
Cats love making people go berserk!
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Orb of Crazed Dwarves
Summons 1d4+1 5th Level Dwarven Experts to build any non-magical building, siege engine, weapons, or armor upon request. The time taken to build the requested item(s) is 2d4+1 days. Upon immediate completion of the task the dwarves request 10 kegs of the finest ale in the land. If not received in 1d4 hour(s) the dwarves fly into a destructive fury and destroy whatever they built and vanish. One only building or siege engine may be built upon each request. Each dwarf can smith 5 weapons of simple or martial quality or 4 pieces of light armor 2 pieces of medium armor or 1 piece of heavy armor; each of masterwork quality and only of materials currently on hand. The ability can only be used once per week.
Edit: Added in how much of each can be made. You know in case anyone actually wants to use it.
Orb of Crazed Dwarves
Summons 1d4+1 5th Level Dwarven Experts to build any non-magical building, siege engine, weapons, or armor upon request. The time taken to build the requested item(s) is 2d4+1 days. Upon immediate completion of the task the dwarves request 10 kegs of the finest ale in the land. If not received in 1d4 hour(s) the dwarves fly into a destructive fury and destroy whatever they build and vanish. The ability can only be used once per week.
This would be great for Kingmaker, but only if you've already built a brewery.
Pill of the Fine Hex of Slay Slayer
This fine hex (now available in pill form) kills anyone who attempts to murder you for the next eight hours, but only if you are sleeping at the time. Take one before bed.
Monstrous Black Lyre of the Infernal Glamour of the Sly Insect
Each round that you play this giant black lyre, a long wooden object within 30 feet (like a 10 foot pole, spear haft, or staff) reveals itself to have been a disguised fiendish dire stick bug all along. It immediately attacks the nearest target and continues for as long as you play. Playing the lyre continuously for more than 5 rounds causes it to open up into a fiendish dire butterfly and depart, never to be seen again.
Moccasins of the Casting of Alter Sneaking
These moccasins come in sets of 4 (2 pairs of 2). Two different creatures must wear the two pairs for at least 24 hours before their magic is activated. After that 24 hours, the two characters may switch moccasins at any time; while their moccasins are swapped, the two characters use each other's current Stealth total instead of their own for all purposes (although these items do not actually swap skill ranks, sizes, etc.). Each character's footsteps sound like those of the other, so that a kobold rogue wearing an ogre fighter's moccasins sounds heavy and plodding, and even clanks appropriately for whatever armor the ogre is wearing at the time.
That last one's not too bad. I see magical moccasins in my party's future.
Kingly Red Cone
This crimson cap of the sort often worn by dunces causes the wearer to immediately be perceived as a member of the royal class as per the spell Disguise Self. The effect is permanent as long as the cap is worn.
It also allows the wearer to cast Greater Command three times per day.
Dwarven Vorpal Keg
This uncovered barrel can be rolled at an enemy as a ranged touch attack. A successful hit does 3d4 points of damage + strength bonus. A natural 20 indicates that somehow the victim's head managed to get inside the dang thing. On a successful critical confirmation roll the victim is decapitated somehow as if by a vorpal blade. I dunno...maybe a blade is in the rim of the barrell...don't make me think too hard.
Hateful Dancer's Box
This decorative music box is topped with a figurine of a tiny dancer. A closer inspection of the dancer reveals a visage of severe hostility.
When activated the box plays an atonal song. The user may choose the song to have the spell-like affects of Distracting Cacophony, Cacophonous Call or Crushing Despair. These powers may be used in any combination up to three times per day.
This was fun. I'll try some more later.
Okay. I'll limit categories for the fun of it. Additionally I'll challenge myself to rename them if they sound awful.
First, generating 5 items from "Clothes and Jewelry":
Cloak of the Elemental Silencer
Okay. Weird. But it's got potential. I see loads of different probable effects:
(For the Villain) It lets you burn/drown/suffocate/strike lightning unto/bury alive/do earthquake at people. And keeps the obnoxious screaming silent. BORING! Though villainous.
Compassionate Undead's Shoes of the Fighters' Honor
WEIRD. Okay. Aside from the fact that I hate this for instantly making me think good-aligned vampire, which instantly made me go eeewww Twilight. I think this need to be thought through. How can an undead be compassionate. Hmm, compassionate suggests that we're dealing with mind-possesing undead, i.e. vampire, lich, ghost. I think Ghost strikes as charming. so we'll rename. Compassionate Spirit's Shoes of Fighters Honor. Better. No lame associations here. Plus alliteration, which is always neat. So. Fighter's Honor. That suggests an honorable approach. Perhaps it only works in honest, face-to-face fights. Or for lawful characters. We'll go with the first, it's more fun for now. Okay so WHEN fighting honestly, this item conjures a compassionate spirit, wielding a weapon and attacking opponents who try to fight unfair against you (not your own opponent, that wouldn't be honorable). Spiritual weapon spell effect. Perhaps some ancestral spirit flavor and a bit more renaming. Almost a decent, even if SIAC item. Could maybe change the spiritual weapon effect a little, making it a weapon for each unfairly fighting opponent, changing the damage tyoe to reflect yours, or making the spirit be physically there, hurting those who pass through the area, ghost touch weapon-like.
Great Yellow Pendant of Accuracy and Ruthlessness
Great. Literally. Ach. Oh, well. It's large. Yellow. Why is it large and yellow? Perhaps we can make it a "Great Glowing..." No, no, no. Awful. Okay, so yellow. Great Yellow. Okay, we'll leave that hanging. Accuracy and Ruthlessness seems to suggest weapon enhancing. Accuracy could be reflected in a true strike spell effect or a competence bonus to attacks rolls. It would probably have to be keyed to a single weapon type, to limit it a little. Maybe a constant +1 competence bonus and a once per day true strike. For Ruthlessness we could use versatile weapon, for removing damage reduction, lead blades for increasing damage or perhaps weapon of awe. I think I prefer damage increase, so when activating the once per day power it is both the effect of true strike and lead blades, to reflect the "Great" part. Now to de-SIAC it we need to do something about those spell effects. First a +20 is maybe out of league. It can instead double the normal bonus, giving a +2 competence bonus to hit when activated. Why is this a necklace? It has a pendant, yellow, which other part must be keyed to the weapon you wish to use it with. Keying the pendant to a new weapon should be possible, but costly. Oh well, this doesn't seem like it'll be very interesting.
Moccasins of the Cowardly Snake's Conjuration of Blood
More foot-wear. Great. Moccasins. So, Perhaps a Shoanti flavor? Cowardly Snake... so, gives, quick, careful, hidden, poison associations. Interesting. Maybe a sneak attack or Sprint Attack effect? The Shoanti flavor might favor Sprint Attack, and granting a class ability might be kind of sad. Conjuration of Blood. Auch. Could use a conjuration spell, tie it to a blood effect, perhaps requiring the user to be wounded/take damage to use the item's ability. Hmm. Can't figure this one out right now.
Worldly Vipers' Shirt of Viper Slaying
How ironic. Don't think I'll try this one much more, it seems pretty boring.
A few tries at another category. For the fun of it, "Abstract/Shape":
Sphere of Stone Touches
Hmm, could be loads of things. Maybe a legend lore or similar effect upon touching an item of stone. The spell level is high, making it only once per day, and weakening the effect somewhat might increase it's interest. Maybe an additional effect, which gives an elemental (earth) damage effect to the fist holding the Sphere clutched tight in it. Could be worked more with later.
And finally, for the sake of personal interest, a book:
Book of Alter Stability
Hmm, now this is a challenge. It might do a reverse gravity, randomly every 3rd round or such. Any damage take from falling, that causes a need to roll to stabilize before are automatically under the effect of a stabilize spell. Can't figure the purpose of that. Might be fun to work more with this.
Might come back for a new more tries another time. Until then, a Happy New Year to everyone.
Sincerely,
Siv
There are a couple in the last two posts that I just can't resist. Here are alternate version:
Dwarven Vorpal Keg
This keg of very strong dwarven ale makes those who drink from it clumsy and prone to mishaps. Each drink inflicts one point of Dexterity damage. Sometime within eight hours after first drinking from the keg, the imbiber falls victim to a freak accident and must make a Reflex save (DC 15) or be decapitated. The keg remains magical even when drained of ale, but refilling it properly requires the finest dwarven ale (at a cost equal to half the item's original price).
Worldly Viper's Shirt of Viper Slaying
This intelligent item is a shirt with snakeskin trim made from the remains of a beloved viper familiar. The shirt retains the familiar's haughty, superior attitude toward normal vipers (or "hayseed" vipers, as she puts it). The wearer gains +4 to attack and damage against non-intelligent snakes, a +1 armor bonus and a hypnotizing gaze usable only on natural animals. If the wearer associates with a non-intelligent animal like a normal mount or an animal companion, the shirt refuses to function and provides only the +1 armor bonus.
Box of Ice Ball - pretty sure I can't do a writeup for it that doesn't violate the ToS.
Great Humanoid's Treatise of the Screamer
This lengthy scroll has diagrams of humanoids of varying shapes and sizes. After studying the scroll (a week's work) the user is able to get a full nights sleep in two hours. He awakes fully rested in body and mind.
The user is unable to avoid the call of any humanoid infants. He must succeed on a Will save (DC 40) to resist aiding any ailing child (real or perceived). The user must make the Will save to resist any non-ailing children or he begins pinching their cheeks and saying non-sense words.
The user suffers a -10 to perception checks to correctly identify a halfing as an adult, thus necessitating the above Will save. This penalty also applies to the halfling's knife
Sphere of Crystal Rains
This clear globe has a small statuette of the user and a yeti with matching, colorful scarfs. Shaking the globe causes tiny white crystals to swirl about the pair and operates its magic. Any inclement weather immediately turns to a snowstorm. The user is unaffected but everyone else within 500 feet has reduced visibility (to 10 feet), treats the ground as difficult terrain.
Additionally the user is unable to avoid the call of any ailing yetis. This works as dominate person as if the yeti has cast it. Sharing snow cones with a yeti counters this effect.
Also, how many of you noticed the MLP generator:
"This lean female pony is an earth pony who is unhappy, focused, and mean-spirited. Her coat is rust-colored. She has a mane that is brown, and it reminds you of a flowing cape. Her eyes are chestnut. Her mark is a storm cloud and a scoreboard."
Cowardly Bears' Anklet
Made from bear skin and laced with sinew these warm anklets provide the wearer with the uncanny ability to cling to things made of wood. They provide a +5 competence bonus to Climb checks to when climbing anything made of wood, and allow the wearer move at their full speed while climbing.
Hmmm...that's curious.
Good Priest's Elixir of Good. Redundancy is redundant.
Ooh. Medication of acid.
Grimoire of Deadly Kindness
This eldritch tome is tastefully bound in dark green fabric with a decorative trim of blood red felt. It contains the deepest secrets of ancient homemakers. All who read it must make a DC 15 Will save or be forever bound to wear woolen sweaters emblazoned with the mark of the reindeer.
If the save is made the bearer gains a +5 competency bonus to all Knowledge(Holiday) checks and Craft (homemade gifts).
Once per day the holder of the grimoire can utter a single critical comment that has the same affect as casting Power Word Kill.
Living Gown
This dark and shimmery garment allows the wearer to summon a Cloaker for five rounds. During that time the gown itself disappears. Come to think of it, it isn't exactly summoning...
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Archers' Apparatus of Mud Disks.Not so much
I beg to differ:
Archers' Apparatus of Mud Disks
This clockwork contraption generates small circlets of dried earth that can be used as target practice. A user who spends twenty minutes working with the device gains a +2 competence bonus to all ranged attacks. The bonus lasts for twenty-four hours. The apparatus can be used an unlimited amount of times per day. Multiple uses by the same character do not allow bonuses to stack.
Further, the disks can be used as a +1 blunt projectile weapon that causes damage as per a sling. On a successful critical hit the device disk blinds its target for 1d4 rounds. A DC 15 Reflex save cuts that time in half.
I got, at ~160 words...
Mandolin of Ooze Hail
Aura moderate conjuration and evocation; CL 7th
Slot -; Price 32,250gp; Weight 5lbs
Description
This appears to be an ordinary mandolin, but if the possessor learns the proper tune, he can call upon a storm of ooze. With a successful DC 15 Perform (string instruments) check, ice storm is cast upon the chosen area, dealing 4d6 acid damage instead of the normal damage; with the [acid] subtype rather than [cold].
After the first round, an amoeba swarm is summoned and follows the player's telepathic commands for as long as the mandolin is played. If for any reason the player ceases playing, the swarm disappears. The Perform DC increases by +5 each time the ooze hail is successfully called.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, ice storm, summon monster II; Cost 16,125gp
Brooch of Sludge Balls
As a standard action, the wearer of this brooch can create and throw a sludgeball (same effects as tanglefoot bag) as long as they are standing on dirt, earth, or mud of any kind.
Gothic Diadem
This cursed item afflicts the wearer with a constant sense of melancholy and angst. The wearer's skin pales and their eyes darken. Their posture becomes stooped and awkward. The cursed also gains light sensitivity, and +4 to charisma related checks with undead.
Blowgun of Savage Cats
Seemingly a normal blowgun, when the user confirms a critical hit with this weapon, 1d8 cats are instantly summoned adjacent to the target. The cats are ordinary, but are raging, as the barbarian ability.
Savage Bracer of the Celestial Rune of the Purple Chamber
Gothic Diadem
This cursed item afflicts the wearer with a constant sense of melancholy and angst. The wearer's skin pales and their eyes darken. Their posture becomes stooped and awkward. The cursed also gains light sensitivity, and +4 to charisma related checks with undead.
AKA: Bellas Twilight Gem
I'll be back later to work on some of these, but some preliminary thoughts.
Gray Gear
This actually sounds like it should be an item. Probably that helps out constructs.
Happy Fish's Device of the Rite of Negate Magic
I'd hate to see the fish when he was sad. I think of an aboleth up to some dastardly divine-magic-negating shenanigans.
Screaming Codex
Fairly open and shut.
Rugged Grimoire of the Lawful Rune of Slay Dwarf
Presumably it both travels well and is good at killing Dwarves.
Vorpal Miter of Crushers
I would guess this is a cursed killer hat which cunningly targets religious authorities.
Trumpet of Sludge
For the ever discerning entertainer.
Ghostly Pants
...
Monstrous Sphere
Totally follows you around and can manifest and use various natural attacks. Comes in Lesser, Normal and Greater varieties. The Greater ones can probably pounce and swallow whole.
"Apparatus of Conjure Bone"
I'm pretty sure this is one letter away from an auto-reject.
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"Apparatus of Conjure Bone"
I'm pretty sure this is one letter away from an auto-reject.
Is is a blue pill sized one time use item?
Unknowable Belt of Absorbs Sound
this belt provides the wearer with a +5 bonus on stealth checks made to avoid being heard, and provides resistance 20 to sonic energy. all attempts to identify this item automatically fail, up to and including the direct intervention of a deity of knowledge. if you deduce the belt's purpose, at the beginning of the next round you forget what the belt does.
this item was made by the keepers, who's paranoia about keeping secrets resulted in an item that could not be known. they were so successful that they then promptly forgot about it.
ok, here goes...
[hitting button]
Unjust Elf's Club of the Unspeakable Hex of Summon Human
really?!? Sigh.
Fine.
Originally designed as a tool for revenge by the maddened Elvin druid Anthrax (after watching helplessly as his sacred grove was burnt to the ground during a drunken "hazing ritual" wizard frat party) - this innocuous-looking paddleboard becomes a +3 club when wielded by an angry elf.
When the command phrase is spoken ("Thank you sire, may I have another"), the club gains the bane property against human wizards; a critical hit against such will immediately summon 1d6 drunken frat boys, who descend upon the target for 2d4 rounds; if the target fails a reflex save (DC19) during any of those rounds, he is subjected to any number of fiendish tortures, to include; random shaving of body parts, forced ingestion of unknown noxious beverages, and other agonies simply too terrible to mention here.
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Illuminated Tritons' Sandals of the Dwarven Exorcism of the Insane Sea Serpents
Is it possible to have a run-on item? Because if so, I just discovered a Triton, er... some Sandals, i mean, that allow the wearer... wielder... um. That allow the guy to act as if he has the class ability Favored Enemy: English Teacher.
You mean, "C Serpents"?