...and other one liners.
This is a line from firefly (Spoken by Mr. Reynolds while he was in drag for a sting operation) that makes me laugh every time I hear it. I'm interested in other such one liners that I can incorporate into D&D games. I'm playing a bit of a smart@$$ and I want some great lines.
"Someone tries to kill you, you kill them right back!" ~ Capt. Reynolds
"If wishes were horses, we'd all be eating steak." ~ Jayne
no man can live in peace if it doesn't please his evil neighbour, Wilhem Thell (Schiller)
and of course the classic "Luke, I am your father!" and the new voice acting "Nooooo!".
"Look, that's why there's rules, understand? So that you think before you break 'em."
"He's going to go totally Librarian-poo."
"Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all."
"Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life."
"Luck is my middle name," said Rincewind, indistinctly. "Mind you, my first name is Bad."
"Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos was lightning, he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards'."
-discworld (yeah, I love Terry Pratchetts novels)
Just read the Dresden Files, Harry has some pretty funny lines
Mal: (into com) "Wash, we've got some local color happening. Your grand entrance would not go amiss right now."
Jayne: "Time for some thrilling heroics."
Jayne: "These are stone killers, little man. They ain't cuddly like me."
Jayne: "Do you know what the chain of command is here? It's the chain I go get and beat you with to show you who's in command."
Alliance Commander: "You fought with Captain Reynolds in the war?"
Zoe: "Fought with a lot of people in the war."
Alliance Commander: "And your husband?"
Zoe: "Fight with him sometimes, too."
Harrow: "I know him. And I think he's a psychotic lowlife."
Mal: "And I think calling him that is an insult to the psychotic lowlife community."
Harrow: "You didn't have to wound the man."
Mal: "Yeah, I know, it was just funny."
Jayne: (mock reading Simon's journal) "Dear Diary...today I was pompous and my sister was crazy." (flips page) "Today, we were kidnapped by hill folk never to be seen again. It was the best day ever."
Book: "If you take sexual advantage of her, you're going to burn in a very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater."
Jayne: "See, Vera? Dress yourself up you get taken out somewhere fun." (Vera is a big gun)
Mal: "Which one do you figured tracked us?"
Zoe: "The ugly one, sir."
Mal: (beat) "Could you be more specific?"
Mal: "Well this is one of the crazier things I've heard today and when I tell you about the rest of my day, you'll appreciate..."
River: "Also? I can kill you with my brain."
Mal: "This distress call wouldn't be taking place in someone's pants, would it?"
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Wash: "Psychic, though? That sounds like something out of science fiction."
Zoe: "We live in a space ship, dear."
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I was hoping this would be about a halfling that used improvised weapons.
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Sadly this thread seems to be about lines from Firefly, I'll leave now
I mine the TV Tropes quotes pages for witty one liners every now and again. One I'm looking for a way to use in game:
"I AM A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!" - Bilkar Bitterleaf, OotS
A quick dialogue:
"Daleks: You are superior in only one respect!
Cybermen: What is that?
Daleks: You are better at dying!"
- Doctor Who
I've actually used this one:
"I'm Tristan Taylor, and for the next five minutes, you guys are officially my b~&@@es!"
— Tristan Taylor, Yugioh The Abridged Series
You can make so many variations of this...
"Resistance is futile."
— The Borg, Star Trek: The Next Generation
Because Disturbed is the soundtrack of every good barbarian:
"Indestructible
Determination that is incorruptible
From the other side
A terror to behold
Annihilation will be unavoidable
Every broken enemy will know
That their opponent had to be invincible
Take a last look around while you're alive
I'm an indestructible master of war"
- Indestructible
"I'm the one with the warrior inside
My dominance can't be denied
Your entire world will turn
Into a battlefield tonight
As I look upon you, through the warrior's eyes now
I can see the fear
That will ensure my victory this time"
-Warrior
"Someday somebody will best me but it will not be today and it will not be you"
- Last Word; MtG card
"Ch'vorthq: Captain, you realize that violence is the last resort of the stupid?
Tagon: Oh, absolutely.
Tagon: Mercenaries are bright enough to resort to violence long before last resorts are required."
- Schlock Mercenary
"Like all the most dangerous people I know, he didn't feel a need to make any displays. He just sort of took notice—with extreme prejudice."
Harry Dresden, about his dog, Mouse; Dresden Files.
"Swordsman: You bastard! I'll kill you!
Musashi: You lie. "
- Vagabond
"You don't even have your weapon."
"I am the weapon."
- Sword of Truth (What? The earlier books were alright)
"Then we improvise. Suddenly and messily and all over the place."
-John Taylor; Nightside
And some Gurren Lagann, just because:
"Kamina: I'll tell you who I am, so listen up with those big damn ears of yours! In Giha village, Team Gurren's name resounds with notoriety! And its ruthless, indomitable leader - with the flame of a man's soul burning at his back... is the Great Kamina! THAT'S WHO I AM!"
He's like a trained ape - without the training.
Sadly this thread seems to be about lines from Firefly, I'll leave now
It wasn't supposed to be just firefly. That show just has so many good one liners.
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Well you can't forget the Princess Bride.
Actually got to use one in context.
Bard: How can you think we'd do something like that? We're with Paladins! They have impeachable character!
Me: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Worf: perhaps today IS a good day to die. Ramming Speed!
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Remember, the difference between a good line and a great line is timing.
If you really do want to be the smart@$$ at the table, keep a small notebook near you when you look for lines and write them down as you find them. Review it before the game, and during slow and appropriate moments during the game. Preparation is another great tool you can't be without.
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Great war cries:
"It's a great day for someone besides me to die!"
"Kill the ugly one first!"
"Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger!" - While in context with the game, anyone who know Daft Punk might smirk.
"Remember, God hates us less!"
"For the glory, ale, and anything we find in their pockets!"
"Good thing I am wearing my brown pants."
"If I fall in battle, tell my son I said something cool."
A fun way to be funny, but do it in a stealthy kind of way, is to go to Google Translate and to translate funny phrases into Latin and have those as your battle cries. Linguistic checks would be needed to understand them.
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"I ask for so little. Just fear me, love me, do as I say and I will be your slave. "
"You say that so often, I wonder what your basis for comparison is? " (In response to "That isn't fair!")
"If she ever does kiss you, I'll make you a Prince!" dramatic pause "Prince of the land of Stench!"
"Rocks Ludo's friends!"
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Sadly this thread seems to be about lines from Firefly, I'll leave nowIt wasn't supposed to be just firefly. That show just has so many good one liners.
See I never found it that way, just the thought of that show makes me want to run away screaming
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From a random movie...
Our Hero is facing off against three heavily armed fighters.
Fighter #1: "Do you know who we are?"
Our Hero: "Yeah, the Village Idiot and two runner-ups."
Related theme...
"Some village is missing an idiot right now."
B*+@$ im gonna kill you- Ike Turner
"In the end, there can be only one--and that won't be any of you."
--One of my old characters, Terisa Nightranger, to a large band of Zhentarim
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"You will bow before me."
"Sorry, the floor's kind of dirty."
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"Good, bad, I'm the -- with the --."
Often used by spell casters, but I did get to use it once in a con game.
spoilered for mild profanity.
Paladin: You walked on the evil side without being hurt!
Me: Good, bad, I'm the b%%$$ with the heavy crossbow.
Oh, and from my Swashbuckler when caught in the lord's bed with his chambermaid.
"The pleasure was all mine ladies. And in the end that's all that matters." *jumps out window*
See I never found it that way, just the thought of that show makes me want to run away screamingSadly this thread seems to be about lines from Firefly, I'll leave nowIt wasn't supposed to be just firefly. That show just has so many good one liners.
You're dead to me.
Harry Dresden has a lot of good lines, but none specific come to mind.
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I mine the TV Tropes quotes pages for witty one liners every now and again. One I'm looking for a way to use in game:
"I AM A SEXY SHOELESS GOD OF WAR!" - Bilkar Bitterleaf, OotS
OotS is good for so many gaming quotes - a few get used quite a bit at our table.
Some of my personal favorites:
"Go Team Cleric!" - Durkon & the dwarven cleric from the Linear Guild.
"Well, the ogres be dun' fer. What're we doin' next?"
:Appears as Band-Aid box to rest of group:
"Oh. Right." - Durkon
(I've used these quite a bit; I've played the cleric in RotR & currently in CotCT =D)
"I ROLLED A FOUR!" - Elan
"I am somewhat preoccupied with telling the laws of physics to shut up and sit down." - Vaarsavius
Elan: "I wonder if there might be another philosophical perspective to consider..."
Archon: "100101010100010101101011!"
Slaad: "Turquoise bicycle shoe fins actualize radishes greenly!"
Elan: "So much for Law and Chaos..."
It was a modron, not an archon. :D
On topic, from Yu Gi Oh: The Abridged Series (It's way meta-gamey, but still funny)
Panik: Why aren't you dead?
Yugi: As I explained earlier, I'm the main character. You, however, can just go right ahead and die.
Guard: or what? you going to kill us with your soup cup?
Riddick: tea, actually.
(shortly before following through with his threat. best use of catch off-guard EVER!)
Buttercup: we'll never survive.
Man in black: nonsense. you're only saying that because no-one ever has.
What did the five fingers say to the face?
SLAP *while slapping someone in the face*
I miss Dave Chappelle
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See I never found it that way, just the thought of that show makes me want to run away screamingSadly this thread seems to be about lines from Firefly, I'll leave nowIt wasn't supposed to be just firefly. That show just has so many good one liners.
I've found that there are two types of people in this world...
... those that love Firefly and those that won't admit they do. :)
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Beast Wars has some good lines. I've used Rattrap's "We're all gonna die" a lot.
Other good ones from Wikiquote
Rhinox:
Well that's just dandy!
I'm in a bad mood. Understand?
Dinobot:
Honor does not need to be won, but it must never be lost.
The question that once haunted my being's been answered. The future is not fixed. My choices are my own. And yet... how ironic. For I now find that I have no choice at all. I am a warrior. Let the battle be joined.
More Rattrap:
Ours is not to wonder why, but to blow this joint before we die!
I know, I know, shut up Rattrap.
Power you got....brains are another story.
Oh, yes, sir! You know, I just feel heaps better knowing that our lives are in your capable hands... we're all gonna die.
Silverbolt:
Stand back, citizen.
Although attacking your own comrade is no doubt business as usual in Predacon guide to villainy, it is simply... unacceptable behaviour... in my book.
Megatron:
A little torment I think first, yes.
The wise tyrant always ensures that his prisons are designed for his personal escape.
The wise tyrant always allows a fool to take the lead in a crisis.
Yeeeeessss...
Such sheer ruthlessness, such disregard for sentient life... I rather like these aliens.
One lowly turncoat, battling on against impossible odds. I'm almost...touched! ...Fortunately, such moments pass quickly. (This one I've used varients of in game and RL.)
Because Inferno, when expecting booby straps, [Quickstrike sets off a trap which punches him against a wall] always send a boob in first
Anything Waspinator says.
Same for Inferno. but especially
Ha ha haha, fool! Pain is my friend -- allow me to introduce you to it!
BURN, TRAITOR, BUUUUURN
I don't rock and roll. I burn!
General awesomeness
Quickstrike: [gloating and tauntingly] So, whu's a warrior wiffout weapons, eh?
Dinobot: ... A warrior still. [Punches Quickstrike twice, then throws him so he lands on his head, knocking him out]
Cheetor: Silverbolt?
Silverbolt: Yes?
Cheetor: Well, I just, kinda wanted to say I'm really sorry about all this and well I promise I'll bring her in with minimal damage, okay?
Silverbolt: Well, that is very considerate of you, Cheetor... and I am sorry too.
Cheetor: Sorry? For what?
Silverbolt: For... THIS! [Silverbolt punches Cheetor and knocks him down] Cheetor, how do you feel?
Cheetor: Woah, a little dizzy, but I'll be okay.
Silverbolt: Then I am, again, sorry. [Silverbolt hits Cheetor again, knocking him out]
Blackarachnia: Why do you always talk to yourself?
Megatron: Oh, I just feel the need for... intelligent conversation.
Thought of another one. Casting Disrupt undead. "Ha-do-ken!"
The sorcerer (elemental bloodline) in one of my games calls his elemental ray 'Sonic Boom'
From Fables:
Prince Charming: If I die, tell every woman I've ever know it was her in my last thoughts. That should keep you busy for a couple years.
See I never found it that way, just the thought of that show makes me want to run away screamingSadly this thread seems to be about lines from Firefly, I'll leave nowIt wasn't supposed to be just firefly. That show just has so many good one liners.I've found that there are two types of people in this world...
... those that love Firefly and those that won't admit they do. :)
I'm completely indifferent to it. I remember when it was on TV, I'd flip through channels and land on it for a few minutes, get bored, and channel flip some more. I enjoyed the Serenity movie, though.
Yes, I know the Weddon Lore; of how the episode were shown out of order to keep ratings down, and blah blah blah. I'm sorry, I've tried to go back and watch it "properly", and I just don't get the appeal. Sure, it's humorous. I don't dislike it, but I just can't buy into the rabid fanboyism of it.
Meanwhile, back on topic, our group was entered into an arena combat last night. We discussed strategies ahead of time; my character is a mix of flanker/sneak attacker, so the party monk and I made a plan to flank off each other.
The gates open, and 3 large lions(one is a Dire) step out on the opposing side. We stroll out onto the field, my character being a charismatic boaster, takes the front.
Me: "We ask for a battle, and you bring us your housepets? No matter, we'll..."
Monk: *gets initiative, takes off a charges one of the lions with a massive landspeed(hasted)*
Me: "Hey, wait a second! What about the flanking, and the stabitty punching, and the whatnot? Bugger."
You're in the wrong thread. Here is a thread for lines you sai/ heard at your table.
My mistake, I thought this seemed familiar but oddly new. But is there a difference at this point?
EDIT: *Re-reads thread.* Hmm, close enough, oh well. I'll fix mine then.
Wherever I go their will always be women ~ Spoken by Eric Northma about the afterlife.
"self realization: I was pondering the immortal words of Socrates who said 'I drank what?!'"
-Chris Knight, Real Genius
It was a modron, not an archon. :D
Really? Oops, my bad then! Thanks for the correction (and the really cool pic!) =)
Another favorite of mine is "Game over, man!" (a la Bill Paxton from 'Aliens 3'). Usually broken out when we run into something REALLY nasty that's about to try & hand us our hindquarters.
It was a modron, not an archon. :D
Really? Oops, my bad then! Thanks for the correction (and the really cool pic!) =)
Another favorite of mine is "Game over, man!" (a la Bill Paxton from 'Aliens 3'). Usually broken out when we run into something REALLY nasty that's about to try & hand us our hindquarters.
"Yeah, but it's a dry heat."
Not apropos to the conversation but a great line.
Another favorite of mine is "Game over, man!" (a la Bill Paxton from 'Aliens 3'). Usually broken out when we run into something REALLY nasty that's about to try & hand us our hindquarters.
o.O?
Ordinarily this Alien fanboy would cry foul, since Bill Paxton said that in the second movie, not the third. But, oddly enough, in the Alien 3 SNES game, it contained that sound clip when it was, indeed, game over.... Man.
Almost forgot the obligitory contribution :)
Johner: So, Ripley, you like, fought these things before right? What did you do?
Ripley: I died.
Only redeemable part of that movie.
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On a personal note:
I had a bard in a low-level group that contained a ninja. Her background was unknown to the rest of us, but she apparently fled her clan and was hunted. We'd gotten back to town after a successful adventure and were spending our cash. My bard went for a ride on his new light warhorse with all the gear and was ambushed by ninjas and knocked unconscious.
When the bard awoke, he was tied up in their camp. Then he realized they'd killed his horse and were roasting up the choice parts over their fire. One of them proceeded to teach him to phonetically memorize a message for the ninja. When he got it wrong, he was beaten. Once he'd learned it by rote, they took him to the edge of town and released him.
Once back with the group, he gave the ninja her message. Once she'd had time to reflect on it. The bard told her she needed to teach him to say something in her native tongue. When she asked what, he told her:
"You ate my horse, you little yellow bastards!"
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From the Movie Dog Soldiers....
British Soldier to werewolf as it is about to kill him..
"I hope I give you the shi!s"
I have been waiting for about forever to use this line in a game.