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The Lizardmen have a distinct advantage over the gobs with what they can do with their tails.
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Yes, I can see GoatToucher making notes in the executive box.
At least, I assume that's what he's doing. I can't actually see his hands.
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*Looks over to the executive box, gets a little disturbed by what is going on.*
Yes, GoatToucher is definitely taking notes, just not about the game.
*The bull centaur that the Chaos Dwarfs have brought with them suddenly goes berserk, grabs the ball (and the spare) and promptly charges through both the hobgoblin slaves and the Lizardmen (trampling over the High Elf referee in the process) and scores two touchdowns at once.*
Well, that's one way to do it! Let's see what everyone has to say when Pulg interviews them later. And daughter, please could you explain to everyone my "work for scale" joke and why I would use it here.
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Sorry father. That joke is so old and easy, if people haven't gotten it already they don't deserve to know.
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And that is the end of the first half.
As they head to the locker rooms the Scavengers lead the Terradons 38 to 32, thanks to the double by the minotaur.
What a wonderful brutal first half.
Both teams may start the second half with 2nd string players to give the starters a little extra rest time.
Well, best of luck to them. And the good thing about concrete violas is that they can also be used as very effective bludgeoning instruments.
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Rah!
Rah!
Rhee!
Kick ‘em in the knee!
Rah!
Rah!
Rass!
Kick ‘em in the other knee!
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*While the Blood Bowl games go on, the land is divided into five provinces.*
*Each province gains a colourful aura, representing each faction.*
*A blue aura marks out the territory owned by the Zendra tribe.*
*A green aura marks out the territory owned by the Pataak tribe.*
*A red aura marks out the territory owned by the Ujalu tribe.*
*A yellow aura marks out the territory owned by the Exiles.*
*And a black aura marks out the territory owned by GoatToucher.*
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Noble brothers and sisters of the Zendra tribe, we shall at long last claim the victory that has thus far eluded us! We were unable to rule, our dearly missed, planet Kaos before its unfortunate destruction. But, we have have always been the wisest of the three tribes and, we have will claim this new world and rebuild all that we have lost!
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Loyal denizens of the Pataak tribe, victory is finally within our grasp! Though we have suffered a great injustice at being denied our right to rule planet Kaos, fortune has smiled upon us -the mightiest of the three tribes- and given us a new home to call our own, the only thing standing in our way is other two tribes and the fools who ally with them!
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My faithful members of the Ujalu tribe, we have lost one home, but we have the chance to yet claim a new one! We have always been the most cunning of the three tribes and though this new world is nothing like planet Kaos, it has potential for greatness, but only if moulded by our hands! The road ahead will be challenging, but I know that we will succeed!
How does Greece fit in to all this?
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And we're back for the second half!
*The two teams head back onto the pitch, the crowd cheering loudly.*
With the Scavengers ahead of the Terradons, here's hoping for more brutal carnage this half!
*Get handed a piece of paper, with important information on it.*
Oh yes, that's right, we need to mention this. Is it really okay for me to say about it?
*Receives a nod of confirmation.*
Basically everyone, with the recent arrival of some new "friends" (Falco, Zolar and Toxiana) and their little "disagreement" that has been brought to our already troubled shores, I have to let you all know how you might be affected by it.
*Quickly draws a pie chart and a map of GoatToucher Island (the forum and the universe).*
Firstly, the pie chart, which shows percentage of ownership of each territory.
*Holds up the pie chart, showing that (using colours matching the auras) the Zendra tribe, the Pataak tribe, the Ujalu tribe and the Exiles only own an eighth of territory each. Whereas GoatToucher owns the remaining three quarters of territory (not that anyone is surprised by this).*
Next, I'll show you all the map.
*Presents the map, which shows (again with the colour coding) that the three tribes and the Exiles are spread out thinly with small sections overlapping with each other. Naturally, the rest of the map is under the jurisdiction of GoatToucher.*
So, in conclusion, we're not going to be affected.
*Begins playing the Piña Colada song, a semitone out*
Shows everyone how the Piña Colada song is done.
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And there is the 2 minute warning.
With very little time left in the game the Scavengers are down by 16 points.
Do they have enough left in them to make up the difference?
We will find out.
I stuffed them full of beans before the match. That should count for something.
*Lights match. Flicks match into the match. Walks away, as explosion forms behind.*
And what a behind has thus been formed!
:lifts a flap of his trousers:
*The games continue, quite disturbed indeed, by one particular thing going on.*
Ah, GoatToucher, a being who thinks that the 'Psychopathica Sexualis' is an instruction manual, and a rather unimaginative one at that.
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The teams have been in the locker room for a while now, I wonder if they are alright.
*Starts writing things down on a piece of paper.*
I guess we'll find out when Pulg interviews them.
*Finishes writing on the piece of paper.*
While that's being dealt with, I have assembled two more matches (after the next two).
After much consideration, I have decided to let a couple of minor teams play:
Kureshi Kobras (snakemen) versus the Dark Mountain Spiders (actual giant spiders).
Once that's done, it'll be time for an Old World Rock out!
Bretonnian versus Kislev Circus!
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Under his underpants, dangling free
The [censored] and [NO!] of GoatToucher are we.
Ahem. Anyvay, lie down on ze couch and tell me about your welationship viz your muzzer. Ve shall work through zhis and Heal Togesser.
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:gives the team a "soothing" back rub:
:somehow, all at once:
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And, it looks like we're good to go!
Though, judging from their faces, the teams still seem a bit troubled.
But we'll just have to see what happens as the High Seas Surfriders vs Norsca Rampagers!
We've got the Elven Union (sea elves I think) against one of the proud Norse teams.
*Looks at the Norse team while consulting a document.*
It doesn't appear that they're from the Kislev royal family, but they could be from the outskirts of that nation. Mind you, everyone hailing from the far north of the world is a member of the Norse people.
Be quiet and help the rest of the squad restrain these halflings while we strap their guidance fins on and charge the warheads.
Hellohello HQ, this is 'C' Battery - we are under attack by Rod, Jane, and Freddy - send reinforcements immediately! 30 companies of Barbra Devils or Barbed Streislands should do it!
Or a bat. If all we can get is a bat, that'll have to do.
We can spare a Gaga…
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*Unrolls a large banner saying exactly that*