RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16
,
Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka JoelF847
|
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
PLENTIFUL POUCH
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 11th
Slot –; Price 12,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
DESCRIPTION
Images of verdant forests emboss this leather pouch. The pouch enhances goodberries placed inside it. The pouch keeps up to 8 goodberries fresh and magically efficacious for an indefinite amount of time. As long as at least one goodberry is in pouch, once per day, casting the goodberry spell on the pouch, creates an additional 1d6 goodberries. Three times per day, a goodberry taken from the pouch can be enhanced to heal 1d8+5 hp or to act as a lesser restoration, rather than the normal effects of a goodberry.
Planting a pouch that contains 8 goodberries in soil, earth, or even sand, causes a tree to grow overnight from the pouch. Hanging from the tree is a small fruit, of a type appropriate to the region. Eating the fruit within 24 hours bestows a heal spell. This is a standard action which provokes attacks of opportunity. Planting the pouch consumes its magic.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, cure light wounds, goodberry; Cost 6,000 gp
Hmmm...I kinda like it. Yes, it's got overtones of SIAC and SAK to it, but having goodberries serve an added function courtesy of the pouch is cool. And having the item consume itself by planting it to gain a greater heal effect is thematically appropriate. The designer also paid really good attention to detail in applying the provided template. So, the presentation is top-notch. Better than most we've seen.
Good idea.
Decent mechanical execution (though I might want to see heal included in the construction requirements).
Great presentation.
I'd like to see a better name for it, though (maybe pouch of plenty as a riff on the horn of plenty...or maybe a harvester's pouch?)
Vote to Keep.
ARRGH, ITEM NAME IN ALL CAPS! ME EYES!!
Okay, that said....
I admit, I love the goodberry spell. I set this item aside for a while so I wouldn't let that bias me.
I still like it. It's smart and does some nice stuff. It's put together well. It's a niche item, expensive because of the heal (which should be in the Requirements), but I could see many druids treasuring this thing.
Keep!
Keep
Director of Brand Strategy
|
I think it's got a tight theme, sound mechanics, and flawless execution of the template and style. I wish the name were more tied to the item's dependence on goodberry, though. The only elements I'm shaky on is the thrice per day CLW berry being equal in value to a lesser restoration. While you won't always need a lesser restore, when you do, that's always going to trump the 6-13 healing. Why would you ever use this for a single hp of healing when you can get CLW three times? I'd also like to see lesser restoration in the construction requirements, though doing so would probably price this out of the range where it should be, which means it may even be underpriced now.
All that said, this is a strong item, and I vote to keep.
RPG Superstar 2008 Top 16, 2010 Top 4
aka Alexander MacLeod
|
So, if the owner targets the pouch with a goodberry spell, rather than the usual 2d4 berries normally targeted by the spell, the pouch will bring into existance 1d6 goodberries. Right? That sounds right...
Under that reading of it's powers, and with the cool plant-it-and-get-a-magic-tree effect, I can say this is a cool item.
On a side note, why does it weigh so much? A belt pouch is only half a pound, and this lil' pouch only keeps 8 berries fresh, so I'm not seeing it as a huge container...
A short description at the top takes us right into the ‘action’ of what this item does, that’s good. ‘Efficacious’ :-) – I like that too. Keeping a set amount of berries fresh is nice, the only thing I dislike about the goodberry spell is tracking how long the berries last. The next bit about casting goodberry on the pouch itself, which I like from a style point of view, is confusing. It’s not clear whether you mean casting goodberry on the pouch creates 1d6 berries that are additional to those already in the bag, or are additional to the 2d4 normally created by the goodberry spell. Why not just cast a goodberry spell normally and put the berries in the pouch? The spell gives 2d4 berries, which is usually better than 1d6.
Does the 1d8+5 hp cured from an enhanced goodberry count against the goodberry requirement of only 8 hp of healing from goodberries per day? This item is way expensive, a low level ability combined with a really high level one hurts the low level one. The price means you aren’t going to get it much before you can cast heal anyway, and destroying a 12,000 gp item for a heal spell after waiting overnight really hurts economically. The first time I read it, I thought that the tree gave you lots of heal fruit, and a one shot mass heal effect could almost be worth burning 12,000 gp on.
I do like planting the bag and growing a tree with a powerful healing fruit on it. That is the style that brought you to the Top 32.
The core of your item is good, it keeps berries fresh, makes berries work better, and can be planted to get a one shot big healing effect.
Welcome to the ranks of RPG Superstar! My advice is to focus on the clarity and execution of your next assignments. Best of luck!
I love goodberry too, but I've never in recent memory had a player that would take it. Perhaps this item would change that.
It’s not clear whether you mean casting goodberry on the pouch creates 1d6 berries that are additional to those already in the bag, or are additional to the 2d4 normally created by the goodberry spell. Why not just cast a goodberry spell normally and put the berries in the pouch? The spell gives 2d4 berries, which is usually better than 1d6.
That's true, but what I believe the author is getting at is the requirement to have freshly picked normal berries to cast goodberry on in the first place. The way they have this designed, so long as you keep one goodberry in the pouch, you can get more goodberries even if you're in the desert or on an extended ocean voyage... or the Abyss. You cease to be dependent on a supply of fresh berries. :D
The other judges have pointed out some of the mechanical issues that I see. It does have a few glitches, but it has a lot of good things going for it. Rather than being SAIC, it augments a spell and provides a greater functionality. I think that is good design.
Good job! I look for your efforts to bear good fruit in later rounds.
I've altered the name of this entry. The original thread title was in all caps.
Welcome back, Joel!
WELCOME BACK TO THUNDERDOME!
You can't keep a good designer down. It's great to see you back Joel! Congratulations, you should be proud! I'm proud of you!
Welcome back. Congratulations mate!
Oh yea, this thing grows on be by the second. It has some very useful effects and ties in very elegantly with one of everyone's favorite druid spells. I love how you're using spells as a resource here; THAT's how you make a good, caster-friendly item.
If anything it looks a little overpriced; you can't make potions of heal, but if you could make something like that it would only be 2,250 gp. A 2nd-level spell 3/day is roughly 3,600. The preservation effect and the ability to make berries in winter is harder to price but certainly not a major effect. Pricing isn't a hard science, but 12k looks really expensive to me (and since when does adding prerequisites mean something has to be more expensive, anyway?).
Do berries enhanced by the pouch have to be munched immediately, or do they retain their enhancement indefinitely? In the latter case it's much more powerful than I'm giving it credit for.
|
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32, 2010 Top 8
,
Star Voter Season 6
|
Ok, SIAC, or Bucknard’s everfull berry basket.I like the versatility, but it’s missing several spell requirments, IMNSHO. What happens if the Healfruit is not eaten in 24 hours? Does the tree have any properties?
I like it, just a bit open ended.
Reminds me of an item in the MiC.
|
RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16
,
Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka JoelF847
|
Wow, thanks so much for the kind words and comments! It's great to be back in the competition, and completely unexpected. With the increased interest and advise threads, I know the quality of the entries has only gotten better, so I'm still feeling a bit stunned by my good fortune.
Neil,thanks for the comments and I agree that the name could use some work. But, after several weeks of being done with the item, changing the name several times, and poring over dictionaries and thesauruses, I didn't come up with a better thought. I know I'll be working on better names going forward.
Sean, I'll be sure to watch the all-caps in the future, I missed that thread about the format from the core rulebook not actually being all caps until after I submitted. (Ross, thanks for fixing after the fact so I don't cause retinal damage to the public at large.)
Jim, thanks for pointing out the other benfit of the pouch, that it lets you use goodberry even in environments where berries are nowhere to be found.
Anyway, before anyone tells me, I'm going back to work now, but I'm looking forward to talking more about the pouch once round 2 is submitted.
Druids are my favorite class to play. I like that this item enhances and gives versatility to goodberries.
As someone already stated, the heal spell needed to be in the construction requirements.
This sentence feels like it needs to be rewritten
As long as at least one goodberry is in pouch, once per day, casting the goodberry spell on the pouch, creates an additional 1d6 goodberries.
I don't like that there is no limit on the amount of heal fruit produced by the tree. I think this will be abused by players.
Druids are my favorite class to play. I like that this item enhances and gives versatility to goodberries.
As someone already stated, the heal spell needed to be in the construction requirements.
This sentence feels like it needs to be rewritten
As long as at least one goodberry is in pouch, once per day, casting the goodberry spell on the pouch, creates an additional 1d6 goodberries.
I don't like that there is no limit on the amount of heal fruit produced by the tree. I think this will be abused by players.
Um... there isn't an unlimited number of heal fruit -- planting the pouch kills it -- once done you get a single heal fruit and the pouch is no longer magical.
Um... there isn't an unlimited number of heal fruit -- planting the pouch kills it -- once done you get a single heal fruit and the pouch is no longer magical.
Yes, you're right. I don't have any problem with it then.
I also want to go a little further with the tree... Picking that fruit on day 2 doesn't kill the tree, does it? What happens on Day 3, or in Year 37?
I despise goodberry, so this item is... better than my prejudices. It's good design, it's good story, and I can see that tree being a relic-grade site encounter.
An awesome item overall. I agree that once the tree's grown, we're left a bit confused on what happens. Yes, you get a heal out of it, but then does the tree never, ever fruit again? How long does it live, once the fruit's picked? Why is it necessary for the tree to live past that picking at all? But these quibbles remove little from the pouch's awesomeness. I can't think of a wilderness traveler who'd turn down one of these.
That Old Guy, why do you despise goodberry as a spell? Your choice, but that opinion seems rather harsh.
Varthanna, you're right of course, but why do you pick on Joel's big words? If I wanted to be English major picky, I'd point out how he's missing a "the!" I'll let you spot it for yourself, but I assure you it's there. (Or, rather, not there!)
Joel, excellent work on this one. Congrats on making it to the Top 32 (again)! (Wishing I could put up a "fuming" smiley here!)
I realize this might seem very nit-picky, but seeing "verdant forest" and "efficacious" in an item's description rubs me the wrong way. I don't think grandiloquence (see?) should be in a superstar item. Be concise, be clear, be direct.
Orwell once said:
(i) Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.(ii) Never us a long word where a short one will do.
(iii) If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
(iv) Never use the passive where you can use the active.
(v) Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
The humor here is in the typos. :D
Contributor, RPG Superstar 2008 Top 6
,
Dedicated Voter Season 6
|
A decent item that suffers a bit from looking like it's an everfull purse (it isn't) and from a name that makes me think its a holding item. I like that it gives you a reason to stock goodberries. At that price, I think people will be past using goodberries before they get it, but it could always be found in a trove or better yet gifted by an ally.
I think I'd drop the heal power, tweak the enhanced berries a bit (if that's even needed), and try to get it down to the 6k range. But it fills a niche for non-combat druidic items that I think needs to be filled.
I really like this item. It's a very good use of a goodberry that will keep it in use for longer than the average party would normally do so.
I agree with Electryc it also forces the GM to basically provide the party a "Mass Sanctuary" spell and specifically not target the PC who needs the Heal. Very Odd that the "Heal" spell is not required to craft this item.
PLENTIFUL POUCH
A great companion item that buffs and expands the use of one of my favorite druid spells. The whole "bury it and grow a heal tree" bit is a little weird, but not broken at all. Well done!
Hi Joel, congratz on making the Top 32 again. it took you some time, but here you are.
I really like the Plentiful Pouch, not one of my tops, but it clearly shows how a great concept and a tight theme can make something truly superstar that would be discarded as SiaC or SAK otherwise.
The last ability is what finally pushes this out of bland item land and sold me on liking it.
Keep up the great work.
The humor here is in the typos. :DYea, insomnia will do that to ya :(
It's all good!
|
|
I think goodberry is one of those overlooked yet essential druid spells, especially at low level. Druids don't get a lot of unique stuff, and I think this is such a great item, especially the heal part at the end. At low level, this is such a boon, and it forces the character to make a tough choice between keeping the daily benefit or splurging on the big benefit to undo a significant misfortune to a party member.
Lots of flavor, lots of crunch. Fantastic job!
-George
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 4
,
Star Voter Season 6
aka raidou
|
Joel, welcome back! The execution and theme of this item are both excellent. Well done! A good way to get a Heal effect for lower-level groups (I don't see this item hanging around once the PCs have access to daily Heal spells). I think you've found the heart of this concept, stuck to its theme and developed it very tightly. I'm looking forward to your archetype!
|
Star Voter Season 6
|
Would have been nice to say what happened to the tree after the fruit but I like it nonetheless.
As for actually having it in a game, well it's going to need a severe price cut. Unless it was in the area of 3-5k it wouldn't ever be purchased or created by a PC.
With its current price at 6th level its more than 60% of effective character wealth, and at 7th level its a bit more than 40%.
That Old Guy, why do you despise goodberry as a spell? Your choice, but that opinion seems rather harsh.
Keith, the primary reason for my loathing (yes, loathing) is the material component of freshly-picked berries. How innocuous is a berry, right?
Well, if you're in an environment where edible berries are available, then other food sources are also going to be available... Why live on berries? Further, if you're a druid, Survival is a class skill, and it's one you almost certainly have spent points on. If you've spent the points, you can hunt and forage for, again, better and more nutritious foodstuffs than berries.
Of course, this is ignoring both the fact that most of the "berries" we eat aren't actually berries at all, and that a not-insubstantial portion of berries appear to be edible but are not, or are in fact poisonous... and it's best that we continue to ignore those facts, or some cruel DM somewhere is going to render the goodberry spell utterly useless.
Sorry... Overkill, slightly off-topic answer, but I stand by my original intended message: I hate goodberry, but this item is good enough to overcome my hatred of its source product and shine through as good on its own, and that's pretty impressive.
Congratulations Joel! Again!
Strength (Overall): 16
Dexterity (see time in my campaign): 15
Constitution (long-time keeper): 15
Intelligence (mechanics): 12
Wisdom (writing craft): 12
Charisma (flavor/visuals): 17
I think the mechanics need some work, specifically the heal/lessor restoration as not required spells. Which leads to the cost issue. I like the mass heal suggested above. I have to wonder what happens to the tree after a single fruit? I think simply keeping goodberries fresh is a good niche, but meta-magic berries are even better. Nice.
Congratulations! :)
Congratulations on making the Top 32...again!
Man, I do like this item. It breathes some life back into a pretty simple 1st level spell - making it useful for just a little bit longer. I also have a soft spot for items that make the PCs choose between constant low-level effects and one-shot high ones.
That said, one heal fruit for 24 hours maybe a little weak in exchange for killing the item. Especially a pricey one. There are some issues with being open-ended in the rules department too but it's not bad.
All-in-all, I like this one.
Great Item!
|
|
Part of me wants to dislike this, and I know why. It's because part of the item is essentially a new 2nd level spell called Greater Goodberry.
However, I don't dislike the item; in fact, I think it's really pretty cool. I worry only that this sets a sort of precedent which amounts to "Take a sort of sucktastic spell, make it better, skin it as an item, and give it a cool twist". Of course, that sounds a lot easier than it actually is, but it's more or less the formula here...
...to very good results. Again, this item really grabs my attention and holds it. I find it well written, and endearing. Other than the item offering two effects which aren't included in it's required spells, I've got zero problems with this thing.
Congrats on making the top 32, I'm looking forward to seeing what else you come up with!
PLENTIFUL POUCH
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 11th
Slot –; Price 12,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
DESCRIPTION
Images of verdant forests emboss this leather pouch. The pouch enhances goodberries placed inside it. The pouch keeps up to 8 goodberries fresh and magically efficacious for an indefinite amount of time. As long as at least one goodberry is in pouch, once per day, casting the goodberry spell on the pouch, creates an additional 1d6 goodberries. Three times per day, a goodberry taken from the pouch can be enhanced to heal 1d8+5 hp or to act as a lesser restoration, rather than the normal effects of a goodberry.Planting a pouch that contains 8 goodberries in soil, earth, or even sand, causes a tree to grow overnight from the pouch. Hanging from the tree is a small fruit, of a type appropriate to the region. Eating the fruit within 24 hours bestows a heal spell. This is a standard action which provokes attacks of opportunity. Planting the pouch consumes its magic.
CONSTRUCTION
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, cure light wounds, goodberry; Cost 6,000 gp
Ask A RPGSuperstar Succubus is posting from the point of view of a CE aligned succubus – fairness is an adjective applicable to hair coloration, balance is what a couple of mortals on opposite ends of a plank pivoted on a rocky spire above a drop of several hundred feet into a pool of molten basalt frantically try to do, and logic is something which proves anything a demon of adequate status and charm requires it to demonstrate.
Is the item Pretty?
Depends on the quality of the embossing and if tree artwork generally is to your taste. It's conceivable that it could be a snappy fashion accessory with some outfits.
Does the item help a demonic seductress to keep a paladin house pet?
No. Oh, wait, mortals have to eat and sometimes get ill. <rapid re-evaluation> Hmmm.
Is the item otherwise useful?
No. Well not without having to get overly imaginative, and I'm feeling very idle today.
Other Comments? (including World Domination potential on the evil laughter scale, where appropriate)
Okay, that's a very expensive pouch. Is it large enough to keep things inside of apart from berries, and does it affect them? Can I, for example, keep a nail file inside it, or a treasure map, or a small but efficacious aphrodisiac mushroom to drop in the soup of a guest sitting next to me at a dinner party in Korvosa?
What sort of tree grows out of these berries if I plant a pouch, and does that vary by region, or is it just one of those generic magic trees?
For that matter, what happens as regards to planting a pouch in an area where there isn't any night, or where the duration of what night there is varies wildly from that of a prime material world such as Golarion? How long do I have to wait before having a fruit available to administer to a knight (or ex-knight) who has gone slightly crazy and just tried to do something very silly to himself?
The marketing information is really rather scarce. You don't even say which designer leather-worker you've got making these things.
Okay, the optional additionally restorative empowerment of individuals berries is interesting. Naturally *I* never overdo things, but I know a succubus who occasionally gets over-enthusiastic and *does*.
Gollum Rating:
'Fisssh' to 'so juicy-sweet' depending on exactly who your leather worker is.
|
RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16
,
Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka JoelF847
|
I realize this might seem very nit-picky, but seeing "verdant forest" and "efficacious" in an item's description rubs me the wrong way. I don't think grandiloquence (see?) should be in a superstar item. Be concise, be clear, be direct.
Orwell once said:
(i) Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.(ii) Never us a long word where a short one will do.
(iii) If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.
(iv) Never use the passive where you can use the active.
(v) Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.
First, thanks for taking the time to read my item. Also, you inadvertantly gave me a good laugh, since I initially mis-read (ii) as "never use a long sword where a short one will do", which I wholeheartedly agree with. It's much harder to conceal a longsword.
As for my word choice, I happen to like using lots of different words, not only does it make both writing and reading more interesting, but there's lots of really good words out there and it would be a shame not to use them. Also, my favorite page in the Gamemastery Guide is p. 55.
|
RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32, 2011 Top 16
,
Star Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka JoelF847
|
As for some of the other point and questions raised:
1) for the requirements, I purposefully excluded heal. I wanted this to be an item for low to mid level adventurers, and didn't want a heal requirement to make this too hard for them to craft. Especially as a druid focused item, heal would make it a 7th level spell, and pretty much force the crafter to take a +5 to the DC at the character levels where this item would be at the sweet spot. As for the lesser restoration, unfortunately, that was a victim of the editing process. It was in there during an earlier draft, but somehow it got deleted, so my bad there.
2) as for the price, it is a bit pricey for the ideal level range (I think it's a great item for 5th - 10th level characters, when a druid's healing magic starts to lag behind a clerics and a part that relies on a druid for healing is really starting to think about trading for a cleric instead, but before the heal spell is readily available), but not out of line with standard guidelines. I started with a 3/day lesser restoration effect at 2000*2*3*3/5 = 7200 plus a 'potion' of heal at 50*6*11 = 3300. That gets to 10,500, and then the additional effects of preserving goodberries, and allowing you to use the spell in non-berry friendly environments I ballparked at 1500. I could have chosen to make those free effects, but thought it would be better to err high rather than low. If you were to introduce this into a campaign, it's easier to lower the price if no one's buying, rather than deal with it being too strong for the amount your player paid for.
3) There seem to be lots of questions about the tree after it's planted. While I had some word count to spare, I didn't really want to spend a lot of time describing what kind of tree was made, since that would rapidly diminish the wondrous factor and instead become botany 101. I imagined that the tree would, like the fruit, be of a type appropriate for the region - so in a temperate zone, an apple or cherry tree, sub tropical has lots of options, such as orange, or other citrus fruits, and arid areas could be date or even coconut trees. (Though I feel sorry for the poor adventurer who sacrifices their pouch and then has to break open the coconut healfruit they've desperately survived the night to get). After the fruit is picked, it's just a tree. It would live or die based on the climate. I suppose it could be a good back story for some magic tree - that it started as a plentiful pouch, and while it's healfruit is long gone, the tree eventually developed some magic of its own due to it's origin.
Verdant...berries...wow. ;)
Side note shoved to the side - I like this item. I don't think there are enough items that expand upon the more "outdoorsy" traits of rangers or druids, and this one does so quite handily and then some. Bringing a little of Nature into a dungeon or other inhospitable environment is always a good thing, IMHO. With that in mind, would powdered rock or mortar found in said dungeon work as soil so you can plant the pouch if needed? Just a thought. :)
Archetypes are finished, and I'm looking forward to seeing yours.