You take one 5 million year long nap, and people think that you're dead or missing! Honestly, people these days!
The next poster is a literal poster on the wall.
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I may be two dimensional, but you wouldn't believe the things a sentient poster sees while on Katie Perry's bedroom wall, WHOOO BOY!
The next poster extends into the 4th dimension.
Define the word "friend".
The next poster has a seti eel in his ear.
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The yeerk has got the seti eel in a half nelson!
*Watches a bit more.*
Now it's got the eel in a FULL nelson!
*Watches yet even more, before clutching the sports commentator's hat being worn.*
Oh no! It's the dreaded OZZY NELSON!!!
*GoatToucher briefly watches from his workroom and says "Rick, boys, you better come see what's happening".*
The eel is up, now it's down and I'm actually INSIDE KahnyaGnorc, we'll be right back after these messages!
Next poster, please play the first advertisement message.
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A collage of images showing a happy family standing around a computer, looking at the workbench of the newest version of Windows. Music of inoffensive tones ensues. A deep voice, full of confidence, speaks:
"Windows 10. When you CARE about SECURITY, TRUST, HAPPINESS, JUSTICE, TRUTH, GOD, and AMERICA. And about your FAMILY. We certainly are not selling any of your information to anyone, and it is not to get more of that information that it's important to us that you upgrade TODAY."
"Windows 10. It does everything Windows 8 did. And it has a new startup jingle!"
Back to the battle!
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They...are...circling around one another within KahnyaGnorc's brain-*gasp* and now they're shooting one another with nano-phasers...but neither is hitting, since they're both hiding behind opposite sides of KahnyaGnorc's parietal lobe...but what's this? The Seti eel is sneaking up on the stubbier Yeerk with the back of its tail...and it inserts itself into the synapse just above the Yeerk's antennae AND IT IS GIVING KAHNYAGNORC A GRAND MAL SEIZURE AND ELECTROCUTING THE YEERK IN THE PROCESS...oh, but then the Dying Yeerk turns around and gives the Seti eel a spiteful Kiss of Revolting Alien Acid-Microbe Death before collapsing to powder! What a show!!! Now then, Ms. Danes, where were we...?
*cut to Clair Danes, dressed in an inside-out Umayyad Caliphate-period royal dress, gagged by way of a first-edition PalmPilot jammed in her mouth, and bound with cypress-wood chains to the surface of a cyclopean emerald altar, while Skiron stands over her with a sacrificial obsidian bread fork*
The next poster will suggest what boon I should request of Great Yog-Sothoth for in exchange for Clair Danes! Hahahahahahahahaha...!
I'd say offering Clair Danes would do it.
The next poster is the world's lamest superhero.
Who you calling superhero and being ironic? Eh? I will have you know I killed fifty men in the Great War! Funny about that... Let's see now, we were in, um, somewhere in Alabama, fighting hard against the... *headscratch* the thugees, and... um. Did you know I won the state lottry once?
The next poster didn't.
Of course not! No states for us! However, I am the holder of the Alderman Slackthwaite Memorial Urn, awarded for sprotsmanship in Non-League Murglethigh.
The next poster was Alderman Slackthwaite, until the incident
A baleful polymorph spell?
The next poster will never tell.
I'll never tell my inseam... You'll have to measure it yourself.
The next poster is a tight fit.
I took it with me to my grave.
The next poster likes to pull the scabs off old wounds.
How else are you going to get them to heal properly.
The next poster told their wife what they did in Vegas.
Yeah, lost all our money, and ran up a $1,234.97 tab at the rooms mini bar
The next poster has mastered the unreadable poker face.
There's no thing as too much Botox!
The next poster's skincare regime is truly legendary.
Sure is.
Those who done particular crimes, get the lava or roast skin treatment.
Very painful, but they won die of it.
The next poster has witnessed this and was horrified of the sight.
I filmed it and gave it to Pulg.
The next poster is transported back in time, to a time machine that transports them forward in time, to the time machine that sent them back, and so on and so on
Yarr when you've gone to visit davey jones you tend to gather friends.
The next poster wears ninja clothes to work.
I do, and you can no longer see me, plus my black shinobi shozoko still passes our corporate dress code.
The next poster is the last dragon, and has the power!
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Sho-Nuff!
The next poster gots The Glow!
Who's the Master? I AM
The next poster knows what to do with a lady and a paintbrush
Yep, give her the paintbrush and let her paint the room the color she wants.
The next poster has a map with an X on it.
Yeah. It would be marginally more helpful if there was anything OTHER than the X on it.
The next poster steals my map for a nefarious purpose!
Indeed. This is the look.
The next poster is a mean one.
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My actual cousin, and very, very dear to me.
The next poster knows what happens when Uncle Fester takes his overcoat off.
DEATH TO WAFFLES AND THE SCUM THAT EAT THEM!!!
THE NEXT POSTER IS MUCH CALMER THAN I AM!!!
Indeed. I will do such wonderful things with those that prefer waffles.
The next poster will suggest what flavor syrup to use in this endeavor.
Goat and clover flavored syrup of course, it is the only kind GoatToucher Brand corp makes, though the secret ingredient will remain, errrr, very secret, very, very, very secret....
The next poster, alas, does know what the secret ingredient in GoatToucher Brand Goat and Clover syrup is, and has suffered for it.
And that, children, is how Pulglings are made!
The next person took a stork and put it under a gooseberry bush and will tell us what happened as a result.
All fear Ventnor, King of Doritos, Chex Mix, and Cocktail Shrimp! But not walnuts, can't stand them.
The next poster sweats a little more profusely than they are comfortable with.
Poog eat chicken wing too spicey.....ugh. Poog now sweat off healthy dirt...NOO!!!
Next pozter be plotting the fall of the Kremlin.
Yes. I want the <REDACTED>'s to go gang up on KahnyaGnorc.
The next poster is in charge of defending KahnyaGnorc
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"Defending?" Defending, oh, yes! It's like killing, only with an excuse the sheep respond quite well to! Ahahahahahahaha....
The next poster has the very special opportunity to suggest just what manner of nightmare entity I should bid descend into the waking world to assist me in dispos- uh, *defending* KahnyaGnorc.
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Well, something friendly that couldn't hurt anyone, of course. How about the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man? No way that could go wrong!
The next poster wants to change the subject.