Alice in Fawtlyland


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Queen of Tarts wrote:


Watch out for the biplanes, dear.

Speaking of which, has anyone seen Starscream?

That's Star-Scream for all those fleshling perverts!


*eyes the strange metal giant warily and curtsies to the Queen*

Pardon me, Your Majesty, but what "biplanes?"


I have not seen Stars-cream.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a date with a South American gentleman by the name of Raoul.


Alice wrote:
I can see you are all terribly busy, but could someone possibly point me in the direction of the Emerald City?

:Slowly zips up the Queen, after wiping the clotted cream on his fingers onto her back:

My dear, aren't you confused? We sold the girl who looking for the Emerald City last week to a witch who generously gave us several hundred pounds of fine teas for her.

:Loudly slurps tea from his dish:


Alice wrote:

*eyes the strange metal giant warily and curtsies to the Queen*

Pardon me, Your Majesty, but what "biplanes?"

*tsk* They're planes that go both ways, dear. Surely everyone knows that.


*Smashes a slithy-tove*


CLEAN CUP!

EVERYONE MOVE DOWN!!!


Queen of Tarts wrote:

I have not seen Stars-cream.

Now, if you will excuse me, I have a date with a South American gentleman by the name of Raoul.

*yawn* Remind him to feed his head, would you? I'd hate to see it starve.


Why, you're right, of course! I was chasing the white rabbit! Has anyone seen him?

It's so hard to keep my head clear in this place with the clouds of funny smoke. *waves a hand in front of her face and coughs*


:From above in a tree:

SQUAWK!

Silly tea-totallers. Nothing is drier than a jolly caucus race!


*transforms into a tank, smooshing several borogoves and mome raths before proceeding to move down.*


Alice wrote:

Why, you're right, of course! I was chasing the white rabbit! Has anyone seen him?

It's so hard to keep my head clear in this place with the clouds of funny smoke. *waves a hand in front of her face and coughs*

Youuuuu will get uuuuuuuused to it.


*Frowns at table*

There are plenty of places here. Couldn't I possibly have a cup before I go? It's rude not to ask now that I'm here.


Alice wrote:

Why, you're right, of course! I was chasing the white rabbit! Has anyone seen him?

It's so hard to keep my head clear in this place with the clouds of funny smoke. *waves a hand in front of her face and coughs*

What the hell, Mariju? What the hell is that caterpillar doing here? Not cool, man, not cool.

Ah, young lady... why ever would you want a clear head?


Alice wrote:

*Frowns at table*

There are plenty of places here. Couldn't I possibly have a cup before I go? It's rude not to ask now that I'm here.

Well, I suppose if you must have MORE tea.

:Hands her a tea dish as it is filled by a mesmerizing process of pouring into tumbling cups that fall full as the tea cascades down them, each in front of a place:


*Watches "Mothra" and chuckles*


*sips tea after adding five lumps of sugar and a pint of heavy cream*

Thank you kindly, sir. I seem to have become terribly hungry, too. I'll just nibble on the Dormouse's tarts; he's asleep and isn't eating.


Alice wrote:

*sips tea after adding five lumps of sugar and a pint of heavy cream*

Thank you kindly, sir. I seem to have become terribly hungry, too. I'll just nibble on the Dormouse's tarts; he's asleep and isn't eating.

*Roars*

I demand that you ask before taking!


Alice wrote:

*sips tea after adding five lumps of sugar and a pint of heavy cream*

Thank you kindly, sir. I seem to have become terribly hungry, too. I'll just nibble on the Dormouse's tarts; he's asleep and isn't eating.

What a bottomless pit you are for such a slip of a girl. Now look, you've gone and made the ash can mad!


Hmm? Oh, it seems we have another guest! Hatter, could you pass the scones? I seem to be out of tarts.


Scones and cream,
Clotted cream,
Mousey wants them
Where's he been?

:sets the Dormouse's kettle spinning so that it tumbles towards the tray of scones:


~A rather unseemly organ slowly materializes, followed by the rest of a large striped feline the size of a man.~

Puuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrfect. If we any iccccccccce that is.


I am not an ash can! I am a highly sophisticated cybernetic lifeform destined to destroy this world and all its fleshlings!

*mumbles* I might also be an allegory for overcompensating fleshlings.


Paizo the Kitten wrote:

~A rather unseemly organ slowly materializes, followed by the rest of a large striped feline the size of a man.~

Puuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrfect. If we any iccccccccce that is.

Cat? CAT!

*grabs butter knife and starts hacking wildly, upending his teacup*


*mumbles about getting a negative...*

Hey-HEY! <twirls 'stache'> All this smoke and I'm here! It's like a foreshadowing. Now where's the thin blonde with the rack?

Hey babe, how about I be blunt and you in the sack? Hoo-Hah!


The Dormouse wrote:
Paizo the Kitten wrote:

~A rather unseemly organ slowly materializes, followed by the rest of a large striped feline the size of a man.~

Puuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrfect. If we any iccccccccce that is.

Cat? CAT!

*grabs butter knife and starts hacking wildly, upending his teacup*

Right on cue, grinning like a Cheshire. Say, Kitty, have you seen the March Hare about? We've been waiting and the cream is getting warm.


*Snags the dormouse's scones as the hapless creature flails about, buttering everything*

Woopsie.

*Stuffs scones in mouth*

Mmmmmmmmm....

Dark Archive

Lord Megatron, what are you doing here?! {looks around in disgust} What is the meaning of this irrational fleshling ritual?

{scans worriedly for Gishimus Prime}


White Deceptiqueen wrote:

Lord Megatron, what are you doing here?! {looks around in disgust} What is the meaning of this irrational fleshling ritual?

{scans worriedly for Gishimus Prime}

I'm actually finding the evisceration of these particular fleshlings to be quite enjoyable!

*Stomps Tweedle-Dee into a bloody paste, but not Tweedle-Dum*


oh Tea, But the last party went kind of strange. I am not a stripper, I repeat not a stripper. Now what kind of tea is available?

Dark Archive

Megatron wrote:

I'm actually finding the evisceration of these particular fleshlings to be quite enjoyable!

*Stomps Tweedle-Dee into a bloody paste, but not Tweedle-Dum*

{puts Alice's Sister into Jack LaLanne Power Juicer} <WHIRRRR!>

{sigh} Well, that doesn't make Energon. {scans remaining fleshlings for suitable energy source}


*Punts the Walrus and the Carpenter over the horizon*


The Crimson Jester, Rogue Lord wrote:
oh Tea, But the last party went kind of strange. I am not a stripper, I repeat not a stripper. Now what kind of tea is available?

Strong black tea for milk and sugar or orange pekoe for lemon and honey, but please do take it in a dish. No glasses or ice or anything foolish. We may be mad, but we're surely not foolish.


<twirls 'stasche> Hey, Hatter. Do you got any red wine in here? I don't mean to be blunt ... Ha! Blunt! Getit? Hoo-Hah!

Dark Archive

Marijuakurion {4:20} wrote:
<twirls 'stasche> Hey, Hatter. Do you got any red wine in here? I don't mean to be blunt ... Ha! Blunt! Getit? Hoo-Hah!

Ah, Colonel Slade from Stench of a Fleshling, I didn't recognize you before with the hairy foliage above your speech apparatus. Did you ever manage to get your ocular sensors repaired?


Excuse a me. ***Paging Professor Hatter....could you step into the FawtL thread? A homework assignment needs your attention***


Cat! CAT! Cat! Cat! Cat! Cat... zzz


* sighs *

Has no-one seen the White Rabbit?

Dark Archive

Alice wrote:

* sighs *

Has no-one seen the White Rabbit?

I do not recognize that Cybertronian's designation... is it another damned Maximal? {launches cluster bomblets at [BLEEPING] rubber ducky floating in bathtub}


<twists 'stasche, takes a hit> Colonel Slade, Major Malfunction, General Malpractice, Doctor Feelgood. That's moi. But back to the buxom blonde. You're looking for the white rabbit? I can help you find him. Here, take a hit of this....don't be shy.


*Extracts a cube of energon from a Nile Crocodile's tail*

Mwahahahahahaha! This will be so easy!

The Exchange

The Hatter wrote:
The Crimson Jester, Rogue Lord wrote:
oh Tea, But the last party went kind of strange. I am not a stripper, I repeat not a stripper. Now what kind of tea is available?
Strong black tea for milk and sugar or orange pekoe for lemon and honey, but please do take it in a dish. No glasses or ice or anything foolish. We may be mad, but we're surely not foolish.

I have a flask around here somewhere that should do me fine.


::Pours::

SHOW.ME.THE.HARE.


What? I'm not good enough.

*Pelts The Hatter with "chocolate eggs"*


Ew. What kind of Easter Bunny throws eggs of poo? You, sir, are an IMPOSTER! Megatron!


The Hatter wrote:
Ew. What kind of Easter Bunny throws eggs of poo? You, sir, are an IMPOSTER! Megatron!

Poo? They're Carob, though I agree it tastes like crap.

*continues hucking*


Marijuakurion {4:20} wrote:
<twists 'stasche, takes a hit> Colonel Slade, Major Malfunction, General Malpractice, Doctor Feelgood. That's moi. But back to the buxom blonde. You're looking for the white rabbit? I can help you find him. Here, take a hit of this....don't be shy.

Well-bred young ladies don't hit, sir!


Alice wrote:
Marijuakurion {4:20} wrote:
<twists 'stasche, takes a hit> Colonel Slade, Major Malfunction, General Malpractice, Doctor Feelgood. That's moi. But back to the buxom blonde. You're looking for the white rabbit? I can help you find him. Here, take a hit of this....don't be shy.
Well-bred young ladies don't hit, sir!

Insert joke about boggarting...


::Uses strange woman's head to stir multiple teacups::

And I say well-bred ladies are IT, mademoiselle. Yes, they're quite the thing, really. Almost as hot as tea! Although you could stand a hair cut. Or at least something to hold your hair back so it doesn't blow into your tea. It's like there's a giant fan blowing on you all the time in slow motion with sultry music playing in the background.


The Crimson Jester, Rogue Lord wrote:
oh Tea, But the last party went kind of strange. I am ... a stripper, I repeat ... a stripper. Now what kind of tea is available?

OFF WITH YOUR PANTS!!

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