The Hatter's page

David M Mallon wrote:

On a completely unrelated note, a small but very insistent part of me wishes that tricorn hats were still in fashion.

Arrrrrggggghhhhh!

How do I not have an avatar that wears a tricorn hat? I'm simply MAD about tricorn hats!

ALIGNMENT!

*chirp*

I like your hat.

::Chirps::

St John the Baptist wrote:

Dammit, I'm not Bob! Pay attention, people!

.

clap!
.........clap!
..................clap!

clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap! clap!

LOL!

And for my next act, I'll pull the other half of Moorluck's tooth out of my hat!

A jolly caucus race next to the tea party?

Oh no... he accidentally drank the Tea of Extensive and Superfast Rusting.

That really is too bad... Bad Hatter for not labeling that pot!

The Hatter wrote:

I say, Borg are such douches. I feel sorry for the little white rabbit, but at least they didn't get my friend the March Hare. He probably just ODed or something with that caterpillar fellow.

*assimilates the Hatter's hat*

Like I only have one hat. Still, argument proved.

I say, Borg are such douches. I feel sorry for the little white rabbit, but at least they didn't get my friend the March Hare. He probably just ODed or something with that caterpillar fellow.

CLEAN

CUP!

Move

D
O
W
N
!

Curious... the Hare has never been this late to tea. However, I still relinquish the hope that he mightnt appear.

Jove's thunderbolts!

The Ouroboros Effect!

Everybody run!

The Hatter wrote:

::Serves Walken tea in a cow bell::

Pray, ring yours, good gentleman. Haps it may summon the Hair.

Fixed that for you.

::Pours steaming pot of tea over the Jester::

All this build up. Will the arrival of the March Hare stand up to it?

::Serves Walken tea in a cow bell::

Pray, ring yours, good gentleman. Haps it may summon the Hare.

That's logic.

SLUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuRP!

You're not the March Hare...

:: Anoints with lukewarm tea::

All this fuss over what a dish is. Anyone in Fawtly-land's tea party could tell you the answer to that!

Are we running low on loose tea?

*Puts several tea bricks into a garbage can. Pulls a chainsaw out from under the table and gases it up with tea from the elaborate chemistry set on the table. Yanks the cord and the saw starts growling with an eardrum splitting roar, upon which he goes at the bricks in the can with ferocity*

CLEAN CUP MOVE DOWN MOVE DOWN MOVE DOWN!

::Pours the gent a cup, snickering at the Gish and the Bard::

The Hulk sure loves his tea.

Why didn't you say so?

::Steps over to the stove. Fries up a complete English Breakfast, then packs it into a carafe of almost boiling water::

Tea's steeping!

Where is the March Hare? Only he can save us from all these mutants and machines!

Oh, look! TEA! Sssslllluuuurrrrpppp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

::Gets out his over-sized, old-fashioned push spray pump and starts spraying for crows::

A young girl clad in white robes walks down a ramp of light. her skin was rather pale, her body was so slender, it was scrawny. her hair went down to her ankles and was colored a radiant golden yet ashy shade of blonde. it was maintained in twintails that started at the back of the neck. her hair was thick, soft, and silky. her eyes were blue. in fact they bore a look of angelic innocence. along with her white frilly loose robe was a matching scarf, a matching pair of boots, a matching pair of gloves, and a concealed pair of matching stockings. all white as milk. her chest was flatter than the surface of an ironing board. and she looked like a child. she stood 5 feet even and weighed roughly 86 pounds. glowing above her head was a ring of light. she had no real wings, but wings of light glowed behind her. at her hip was a long, slender blade, suited for dueling, but not full on war. it was neither a rapier, saber, nor epee, but an espada. sharpened at both edge and tip and made of orichalcum alloy. it appeared to be a superior artifact.

as she walks down this ramp of light, further fading behind her as she walks. she begins to ask in a cheerful accent, " may i have some tea as well?" as she approaches the nearest chair with a clean cup. "Do you have any orange Pekoe? preferably with honey and lemon?" the cute scrawny wingless animesque angel asks in a cheery accent.

There's no room! No room!

The Hatter wrote:

That's a pesky rabbit, Mousey, not our noble hare. Oh whare oh whare is that darn hare???

{rouses from low-Energon-induced slumber} What is this "hare" unit? Why is it so critical to this fleshling liquid-inspired gathering?

And is this "hare" unit designed Godot by any chance? {nibbles on a teacup}

No, the MARCH HARE. *Spreads clotted cream and strawberries on the White Deceptiqueen's hand and puts it between two scones.*

That's a pesky rabbit, Mousey, not our noble hare. Oh whare oh whare is that darn hare???

CLEAN CUP

MOVE DOWN

CLEAN CUP

MOVE DOWN!!!!!!!!

Or a fluff?

::Pours tea down pants::

::Uses strange woman's head to stir multiple teacups::

And I say well-bred ladies are IT, mademoiselle. Yes, they're quite the thing, really. Almost as hot as tea! Although you could stand a hair cut. Or at least something to hold your hair back so it doesn't blow into your tea. It's like there's a giant fan blowing on you all the time in slow motion with sultry music playing in the background.

Ew. What kind of Easter Bunny throws eggs of poo? You, sir, are an IMPOSTER! Megatron!

::Pours::

SHOW.ME.THE.HARE.

oh Tea, But the last party went kind of strange. I am not a stripper, I repeat not a stripper. Now what kind of tea is available?

Strong black tea for milk and sugar or orange pekoe for lemon and honey, but please do take it in a dish. No glasses or ice or anything foolish. We may be mad, but we're surely not foolish.

Paizo the Kitten wrote:

~A rather unseemly organ slowly materializes, followed by the rest of a large striped feline the size of a man.~

Puuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrfect. If we any iccccccccce that is.

Cat? CAT!

*grabs butter knife and starts hacking wildly, upending his teacup*

Right on cue, grinning like a Cheshire. Say, Kitty, have you seen the March Hare about? We've been waiting and the cream is getting warm.

Scones and cream,
Clotted cream,
Mousey wants them
Where's he been?

:sets the Dormouse's kettle spinning so that it tumbles towards the tray of scones:

*sips tea after adding five lumps of sugar and a pint of heavy cream*

Thank you kindly, sir. I seem to have become terribly hungry, too. I'll just nibble on the Dormouse's tarts; he's asleep and isn't eating.

What a bottomless pit you are for such a slip of a girl. Now look, you've gone and made the ash can mad!

*Frowns at table*

There are plenty of places here. Couldn't I possibly have a cup before I go? It's rude not to ask now that I'm here.

Well, I suppose if you must have MORE tea.

:Hands her a tea dish as it is filled by a mesmerizing process of pouring into tumbling cups that fall full as the tea cascades down them, each in front of a place:

CLEAN CUP!

EVERYONE MOVE DOWN!!!

I can see you are all terribly busy, but could someone possibly point me in the direction of the Emerald City?

:Slowly zips up the Queen, after wiping the clotted cream on his fingers onto her back:

My dear, aren't you confused? We sold the girl who looking for the Emerald City last week to a witch who generously gave us several hundred pounds of fine teas for her.

:Loudly slurps tea from his dish:

I thought we agreed, O Queen: no stripping during tea time!

*grumbles electronically*

Well, if you're just going to sit there and grumble, you might as well use your height to hang this banner from the trees.

The Hatter wrote:

Alice wrote:

I'm sure I don't know what any of this means.

My dear, all of this means, just not of it signifies.

It's very rude, however, to invite one's self to a private soiree. And anyway, this is in honor of an unbirthday, and the guest of honor is not here!

*Roars*

Why are they not here?! I will destroy them!

Urr, um... he was kidnapped by the mysterious man with the green mustache!

:Pours tea for the Dormouse:

I'm sure I don't know what any of this means.

My dear, all of this means, just not of it signifies.

It's very rude, however, to invite one's self to a private soiree. And anyway, this is in honor of an unbirthday, and the guest of honor is not here!

Whispers
No mousey, there's no room!

*Smashes his way through wonderland, punting Jabberwocks and playing cards*

Why is there no Energon here!?

I believe he turned into that leafy loudmouth...

Wait a minute... YOU'RE not the Hare!

This greenhorn is a bit of a blowhard. Oh, no! It's catchy!

CLEAN CUP! CLEAN CUP! MOVE DOWN, MOVE DOWN!

Here you, go, mousey.

You with the singing -- would you like to steep your leaves in one of our pots?

Somewhere beyond the Monitor-Glass, deep in a wood, a banquet table is fully set for afternoon tea.

There, now tea is all ready for the Dormouse and the Hare!

Has anyone seen the March Hare and the Dormouse?

*Coughs*

Has anyone seen the March Hare and the Dormouse?

CJ! I'm disappointed in you. One kicks poodles, not badgers. With badgers, one whacks them with a dire flamingo.