RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32
aka flash_cxxi
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I'd appreciate any further feedback!
I'll bite simply because it's a fellow Aussie (and because we posted within 2 mins of one another... must keep the same Paizo scedule).
Firstly (and perhaps most importantly) its much more of an item that would be used as a plot hook or story device by a DM rather than something that most players would want or use.
Sadly I'd tend to agree with you on this point. It is a cool item, but has limited use for PCs. It may have been more useful if the last words remembered could be the words of a Vocal spell that was able to be triggered by the command word?
I see three main issues with this item.
Secondly, I had back-story, which seemed to be a bit of a point against in this part of the competition.
Yeah I was a bit bummed on the excessive back story thing too. (See my post directly above yours for my item).
Such medallions were first used in a vast empire, where military officers posted far from home wore them, in the hope of getting reliable dying messages back. They found further utility amongst nobles of the empire, in naming successors (or assassins) from their deathbed, and amongst spies, who would attempt to steal attuned medallions from political enemies.
You left out the ability to trigger phrases for locked doors with voice activation... like in the spy movies ;)
It is a pretty solid item though, but in conclusion I do think that the whole utility thing was probably your downfall.
I would appreciate feedback...
Misleading Cloak
On command, this unremarkable appearing cloak simultaneously teleports the wearer a short distance, turns him invisible and leaves behind an illusory double. When activated, the wearer selects a destination within 50 feet and transports to the exact spot desired. If the destination is not available for him to occupy or is out of range, none of the cloak’s effects activate and a use is considered expended. The wearer can bring along objects as long as their weight doesn’t exceed his maximum load. At the same instant that the wearer transports, he becomes invisible as if a greater invisibility spell had been placed on him. In addition, an illusory double appears in the space he is departing, perfectly superimposed over his body. The double behaves and is controlled as though the wearer had cast a mislead spell. The illusion and the invisibility last for 11 rounds. The cloak can be used three times per day.
Moderate conjuration and illusion; CL 11th; Craft Wondrous Item, mislead, dimension door; Price 80,000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
I like it except for the cost and utility at 80,000 GP. I'd limit the usage to once a day which would drop it down to 27,000 GP or so and if you dropped it down to just 1/week about 4,000 GP (Which is probably munchkinny but how often would you normally really need to use the cloak each day or week compared to some of the other magic items you could pick up).
Mothman's Medallion of Final Words
This item appears as a circular bronze medallion the size of a large coin, hanging from a fine chain or ribbon.
If worn around the neck for a period of 24 hours, the medallion becomes attuned to the wearer. Thereafter, the medallion ‘remembers’ everything spoken by the attuned wearer until it is removed. If worn by another creature for 24 hours, the medallion becomes attuned to the new wearer instead.
Upon the speaking of a command word, the medallion recites the last twenty-five words spoken by the attuned wearer. The medallion speaks with the attuned wearer’s voice. The command word can be used by anyone who knows it, not just the attuned wearer. The command word is often, but not always, engraved onto the medallion.
Such medallions were first used in a vast empire, where military officers posted far from home wore them, in the hope of getting reliable dying messages back. They found further utility amongst nobles of the empire, in naming successors (or assassins) from their deathbed, and amongst spies, who would attempt to steal attuned medallions from political enemies.
Faint illusion and necromancy; CL 2nd; Craft Wondrous Item, magic mouth; Price: 3,500gp
Since you asked...:)
Your points are valid, and I think you pegged the problems yourself. It's a subtle item, one that could be used by an NPC, but what use is it to a character? I can see this item in vogue amongst the aristocracy, but beyond that, I think its value is limited.
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RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16
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Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Rusty Ironpants
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Hello everyone,
Some nice items listed so far. Here is my entry, any comments and criticisms are welcome. Does anyone think that it being such a low level item could have hurt my chances?
Dead Man's Hands
This grisly pair of gloves is made from the skin taken from a pair of human hands, the fingernails still intact. When worn, the seams of the gloves nearly disappear leaving the wearer's hands with a withered and twisted appearance.
Once per day, as a free action, the wearer can cause the gloves to produce an intensely cold effect. This effect is equivalent to the spell chill touch, cast at third level. In addition the wearer gains a +2 circumstance bonus on saves vs. paralysis. This bonus increases to +4 vs. paralysis caused by the touch of an undead creature.
Moderate Necromancy; CL 3rd; Craft Wondrous Item; Chill Touch; Price: 1,200 gp, 0.5 lbs.
Spoon of the Witch QueenThis (and a similar item) seem maddeningly familiar, but I can't quite place what book, or what edition of the game.
I recall some sort of 'Alchemy jug' that could create acids, poisons or potions on command.
1st edition DMG, the good old alchemy jug was indeed the name. Pourable 7 times a day, but only one liquid per day. Pour out 2 gills of aqua rigia, 8 drams of chlorine, or 4 drams of cyanide.
Remember the beaker of plentiful potions?
Not having played first or second edition of the game in over 15 years may very well have hurt me. I don't actually remember either item. I did recall two other spoon items that I checked to make sure I wasn't subconsciously falling back on an old edition, but I have way too much 1st and 2nd edition material to check everything - I would have had to reread 50 or 60 books (that's on the low side, I suspect). So I just checked the spoons.
Feh.
Here's mine:
Portable Pavilion of Perfect Pause
This ordinary-looking tent stake provides convenient traveling accommodations. The activation word transforms the stake into a fully erected small tent camouflaged for its environment (+10 Hide check). The pavilion secures to the ground regardless of hardness, and it is able to withstand winds up to hurricane force without failing. The interior is the size of a large pavilion tent and is furnished with seven fully made beds with winter blankets and a large table with chairs. There is enough additional space for ten medium sized creatures to comfortably sleep on the floor. The temperature within the pavilion is controlled as the Tiny Hut spell. The pavilion’s flap is not magically secured versus intrusion, but it can be tied shut from inside. The pavilion provides enough meals and drinks for seven three times a day, and resting within the pavilion for 2 hours gives the benefit of 8 hours of sleep. A second command word reverts the pavilion to the stake expelling everything not conjured by the pavilion. Cutting the pavilion or breaking the stake ruins its magic.
Moderate evocation . CL: 6; Craft Wondrous Item; Disguise Self; Create Food & Water; Tiny Hut. Price: 15,000 gp
Notes
I struggled with a long time which spell (bouncing between Tiny Hut and Magnificent Mansion...probably in retrospect should have went with Magnificent Mansion) I later found a similar item in the Magic Compendium (Personal Oasis pg. 168) If its similarity is what kicked it out, then somebody better have a good explanation for how Quiver of Energy (pg. 172) and Elemental Quiver are different enough to win.
My other idea:
Collapsible Closet of Cleaning
This small ordinary box (14 in long, 3 in deep) contains a useful means of storing clothes and keeps them ready for use). Upon command, the box expands and unfolds (taking one full turn to complete) into a wooden rack with hangers capable of handling 20 changes of clothes, robes, etc. (If it fits on a standard clothes hanger, it can fit within the closet.) All of the items contained therein are perfectly pressed, cleaned, and ready for use. For the purposes of extradimensional space, treat the closet as a bag of holding and the closet cannot contain a portable hole without similar explosive results. A second command word reverts the closet to the small box.
Moderate conjuration. CL: 9; Craft Wondrous Item; Secret Chest, Prestidigitation. Price 2,500 gp.
Here's mine.
Spoon of the Witch Queen
Ash, it's possible that the judges may have thought this item had too many functions; the transforming ability is possibly a little bit unwieldy, with too many choices that don't seem thematically related.
I like the item's name - is the titular Witch Queen anyone we know? ;-)
Possibly, I readily admit that magic item creation is not my best skill in game design.
The witch queen referenced is the Witch Queen of the North - Baba Yaga's title in Golarion. This is obviously a very crude reproduction of the original item.
- Ashavan
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RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32
aka flash_cxxi
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Hey Flash, I think the problem with this might have been that the mechanics of it seem a little bit convoluted the way that they are described. Also, without the back-story, the vampire thing seems a bit like a tacked on after-thought, rather than one of the central themes of the item (which it obviously is if you read the back story). Also, I would make the Con penalty –2 (+/-1 ability bonuses or penalties are rare in 3.x)Cool, here goes.
This is the item that I posted:
Fangs of the Crescent Moon
Cheers Mothman,
You are right it is a little convoluted, but I didn't think excessively so.
That is a good point about the Vampire bit, thanks.
I think I have been playing a bit too much DDO and not enough PnP.
+/-odd items are as common as sand in DDO.
Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7
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Can't locate the original document, so this is me running from memory (or as close to it as I can get):
Sage's Archive
At first glance, this appears to be a blank spell book of exceptional quality. This book, however, has the ability to copy the full text of up to 100 mundane works within its covers simply by coming into physical contact with the work.
Additionally, upon writing the name of a person, place or thing upon a blank page, the book fills with excerpts from its collective holdings and grants anyone who studies the writings a circumstance bonus between +1 and +6 to any Knowledge check regarding the subject matter. When the book is closed, the pages revert to their blank form.
While it is impossible to remove individual works from the archive, casting an erase spell on the archive will remove all of its contained works.
Moderate Divination and Transmutation ; CL 11th; Craft Wondrous Item, Comprehend Languages, Secret Page, Legend Lore; 36,000gp.
Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
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Wow, there's lots of cool items which didn't make the cut. Here's my own action-packed, rejected item:
Jar of Curse Purging
More logical prerequisites perhaps would be break enchantment and create greater undead, which would also have some impact on the balance issues that you mentioned.
I'd want to rewrite the second paragraph to structure it as "a mist enters the jar causing it to detect as an evil undead of X HD .. if a creature opens or breaks the jar as a standard action, Y appears".
It definitely should specify the type of undead and perhaps should use something different than "the jar's owner" which potentially has ambiguous effect at a later time.
I don't recall the exact details of my item anymore, lost the backup apparently, but it was basically this:
Amulet of the Wolf
Lesser version - Give wearer the Scent ability and an associated Track by Scent bonus.
Greater version - adds the ability to transform into a wolf for a time (Which I think I forgot to specify).
Think I might have done a major error when I did my word count and only did one before I added the greater version. That makes me sad...
Here is mine.
Bracelet of Spellbinding
Spoiler:These bracelets are made from small animal bones inscribed with arcane runes. They were first made by the members of an order of sorcerer druids that wanted to increase the mobility of their animal companions and familiars during combat.The bracelet improves the bond of the wearer with any animal or magical beast that serves as an animal companion, familiar, paladin's mount or any other similar class feature. The wearer must have enough class levels for her companion to gain the share spells special ability.
The Bracelet of Spellbinding enlarges the effective range of the share spells ability to 60 feet instead of the usual 5 feet. This affects both the initial range at which a cast spell can be shared with the bonded creature and the maximum distance the creature can move away from the wearer before the shared spell stops affecting it.
Faint necromancy; CL 8th; Craft Wondrous Item, Spectral Hand, creator must have a familiar, animal companion, paladin's mount or similar class feature; Price 12,000 gp
Any feedback on this one would be appreciated. Thanks.
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Jar of Curse Purging
Have you considered the possibility of having the spell be released as a 'Living Spell' (Monster Manual 3, page 91)?
Obviously, this is non-OGL, and thus outside the scope of this competition, unless one also created an OGL-version of such a creature (which would be two assignments, and well over word-count).
But for your home-game, that could be a laugh...!
Well here's mine. I already know why I was disqualified: planar tolerance is out of the Spell Compendium. Oh well.
Orb of the Elemental
These orbs are three inch crystal spheres inlaid with platinum runes on their upper hemisphere. Though solid, they sparkle and shimmer as if filled with liquid. The color varies by kind: opalescent white for Air, a smoky brown topaz for Earth, bright citrine for Fire, and sapphire blue for Water.
The original Elemental Orbs were given by the Elemental Princes as gifts to Kings on the Material Plane. Those mighty artifacts were copied by mortal craftsmen, and though of lesser power, they are quite valuable to those visiting the Inner Planes.
When the command word is given on a matching Inner Plane, the Orb prevents all detrimental effects on the holder and allies within 20 feet. Though concentration is not necessary to maintain the effect, the Orb must be held forth by the same character for the duration, making combat difficult though not impossible.
The effect only functions on a corresponding elemental plane. On the Material Plane, a fire Orb would provide no benefit within a volcano and an air Orb would not prevent being blown away by a hurricane.
Strong Abjuration; CL 7; Craft Wondrous Item, planar tolerance; Price 39,200 gp; Weight 1/2 lb.
--------
Someone might comment that I used planar tolerance (level 4) instead of planar bubble (level 7), but it doesn't change the environment. Technically, it's more like a mass planar tolerance, should such a beast exist, and since the mass spells are often +3, it should be a CL 13 and price 127,400gp, which, frankly, I see as being way beyond its utility.
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
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Hello everyone,
Some nice items listed so far. Here is my entry, any comments and criticisms are welcome. Does anyone think that it being such a low level item could have hurt my chances?
Yes, I'd say the top 32 are considerably above this in power.
Dead Man's Hands
I think it does two things that aren't closely related. Without one or the other, though, it's not much of an item at all. Needs something more in the basic concept.
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Possibly, I readily admit that magic item creation is not my best skill in game design.
Mine either - there's such a wealth of magic items out there that I've rarely felt the need to design a new one.
Whilst I totally understand why the magic item design was the first round of the comp - I wish it wasnt!
Compared to other necklaces and amulets, this is reasonable and useful for its cost, I think.Here's mine. Not flashy, but useful IMO.
Torque of the Ermine
Thanks for your feedback!
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Syringe of Retribution
Aura moderate transmutation; CL 7th
Slot – (held); Price 20,160 GP
Description
This antique syringe appears as a foot-long piston pump consisting of an ivory plunger that can be pulled and pushed along inside a cylindrical glass tube covered with fine arabesques of iron and tipped with a wickedly sharp needle of the same metal. It is filled with fresh blood and replenishes itself magically after each use.
Once per day, an injected target (requiring a melee touch-attack in combat situations) can be affected by a single magical effect which varies depending on the loyalty the target feels towards the syringe’s holder. If the target is faithful, dedicated or otherwise devoted to the holder, she receives a +4 enhancement bonus to Charisma and a +2 morale bonus on attack rolls for the next seven minutes. If the target is not loyal to the holder, she receives instead a -6 penalty to Charisma. This curse can be removed if the target is subjected to such spells as limited wish, miracle, remove curse or wish, as appropriate under the circumstances.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, eagle’s splendor, bestow curse; Cost 10,080 GP, 806 XP.
I like it but it probably sounded like a modern gadget tape or voice recorder to Clark which he posted later in the contest he didn't like.Compared to other necklaces and amulets, this is reasonable and useful for its cost, I think.Here's mine. Not flashy, but useful IMO.
Torque of the Ermine
Huh. I didn't realize that. Thanks!
Okay, here's mine, and no it was not a joke, it is a serious item and I intend to add it into my game. My players loved the concept. I would appreciate feedback if anyone has any, thanks.
Bag of Scolding
This coin purse was created for a king whose children loved to frivolously spend the money from his treasury. The Bag of Scolding, originally named “The Conscientious Coin Purse”, follows the same rules as a bag of holding, except for as follows: It will only hold items the size of coins and small gems. Any time the owner (or anyone else) attempts to retrieve money from the bag, it will immediately start to berate them over the wasteful way they spend money. Only a DC 15 Bluff or Diplomacy check will make it stop badgering them.
Moderate conjuration; CL 9th; Craft Wondrous Item, Secret Chest, Magic Mouth, Permanency; market price: 2500 gp
Bag weight: 3 lb. content weight limit: 125 lb. volume limit : 15 cu ft
I thought of a line I wish had occurred to me before I submitted mine to add to it, which is this
"This item is not cursed, it is merely annoying."
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Contributor
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Marathon Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Boxhead
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Everflapping Cape
Originally conceived by the maniacal Morte the Morbid, and a perpetual favourite of villains around the globe, this basic black cape always appears as though it is flapping in the wind, even when the air seems at a dead calm. The tips of the cape can be commanded to flap at a higher rate, distracting viewers and removing their thoughts from the situation at hand.
The cape allows the user to use sanctuary 1/day (DC 11), especially useful if the urge to monologue rises. In addition, the wearer can create a gust of wind 1/day (DC 12). Both effects are triggered with a command word and require a standard action.
Moderate Evocation [Air]; CL 3rd; Craft Wondrous Item, Gust of Wind, Sanctuary; price 3000 gp; Weight 1 lb.
I assume I got an auto-reject as a joke item, but can't help but wonder if the name "Cloak of the Archvillain" would have done any better. Ah well, I guess I'll just keep trying...
Amulet of KingsOften a simple royal crest on a plain copper chain, this amulet protects the wearer from most forms of death and capture. Crafted to protect royalty, it is guarded by nondetection and does not appear magical.
The amulet is activated automatically or via mental command. Events rendering the wearer unable to activate it (including charm effects, lethal damage, petrification and unconsciousness) will do so automatically. If the wearer can command it (when grappled, paralyzed or silenced, for example), it stays dormant.
When activated, it transports the wearer to the refuge identified at the time of creation, but free of the effects of the triggering action. Simultaneously, the amulet polymorphs into a replica of the wearer, including wounds sustained and conditions such as petrification. If the effect was non-lethal, the simulacrum has Intelligence of 0, rendering it permanently unconscious. When mentally triggered, the wearer chooses either a lifeless or unconscious duplicate.
After 20 minutes, the amulet reverts to normal.
The Amulet of Kings must be worn for 24 hours before it will function.
Strong Abjuration; CL 15; Craft Wondrous Item, break enchantment, heal, nondetection, polymorph any object, refuge, restoration, greater; Price 91,980 gp
Though I'm really happy with the interesting aspects of it (you are seemingly killed by the attack or commit suicide but then vanish mysteriously leaving only a piece of jewelry behind), it's really more of a DM item. And I imagine it just had too much going on.
And I've always wondered how those rulers stay in power once there's all these uber-characters running around. I figured this was the answer.
I think the concept is good, but I don't really like the automatic success. Perhaps a better approach would be to negate the opponent's size bonus to grapple checks? That will help even the playing field somewhat with larger opponents, without completely eliminating the danger.Here's mine. Not flashy, but useful IMO.
Torque of the Ermine
Good point about the automatic success. Thanks for your comments!
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7, Dedicated Voter Season 8
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Well here's mine. I already know why I was disqualified: planar tolerance is out of the Spell Compendium. Oh well.
Orb of the Elemental
When the command word is given on a matching Inner Plane, the Orb prevents all detrimental effects on the holder and allies within 20 feet.
--------Someone might comment that I used planar tolerance (level 4) instead of planar bubble (level 7), but it doesn't change the environment. Technically, it's more like a mass planar tolerance, should such a beast exist, and since the mass spells are often +3, it should be a CL 13 and price 127,400gp, which, frankly, I see as being way beyond its utility.
Needs much more description of its effects. What you posted would barely give me any guidance in a game. If this is what the Spell Compedium rules are like, it's just as well they're unavailable.
Since you can't use any of the spells that you quoted at all, I wouldn't worry about the parallels.
Brooch of Social Grace*snip*
This is a really sweet item and priced very well. I'm guessing the judge's thought it would be to good mechanically and unbalancing in a game that uses lots of Diplomacy checks and social interaction since it is almost an unlimited 5 round charm person spell generally most NPCs and creatures don't automatically start off hostile to your player.
Unbalancing the way a Lyre of Building can be in a game using those mechanics. Player "Let's talke a minute and talk things over....."
Well, it doesn't charm them for 5 rounds, it's simply a requirement to get the improved attitude. They're free to do whatever they want in those 5 rounds. The item is more designed to smooth talk people who wouldn't ordinarily be very helpful, like surly town guards or grumpy merchants.
I'd sure like to know if the Brooch was overpowered, or just plain boring. It's a bit frustrating to be in the dark about it, but maybe the guidelines that the judges have suggested posting may help determine the problem.
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Syringe of Retribution
Just one question; how does the syringe know the target's attitude to the wielder? Maybe a Detect Thoughts effect is needed?
This is a problem with a lot of spells, which state'affects X number of allies' instead of 'X number of targets, chosen, rightly or wrongly, by the caster'.
PS: I think my attitude might worsen a step or two if someone stuck a needle in me....
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RPG Superstar 2015 Top 16
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Dedicated Voter Season 8, Star Voter Season 9
aka Rusty Ironpants
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Hello everyone,
Some nice items listed so far. Here is my entry, any comments and criticisms are welcome. Does anyone think that it being such a low level item could have hurt my chances?
Yes, I'd say the top 32 are considerably above this in power.
Dead Man's HandsI think it does two things that aren't closely related. Without one or the other, though, it's not much of an item at all. Needs something more in the basic concept.
Thanks for the feedback.
I was debating between Chill Touch and Ghoul Touch as the spell effect. I probably should have went with Ghoul Touch as that would have both made the item a little more powerful and provided a better theme with the save vs paralysis (being touched by a ghoul) effect.
~Rusty
Watcher: Since you asked (along with a couple of other people in the thread :P )...
At first glance, it's interesting, but it doesn't seem to be the thing that would grab the average Joe Gamer. This is the kind of item that I'd maybe use once in a while, as a McGuffin/Maltese Falcon/unique device in an adventure, and it almost feels too good to have around all the time. The combination of legend lore and clairvoyance/clairaudience[/i] feels a bit much, and has the potential to break some gaming styles. "Oh noes, the Emir of Zabar-denh has been killed - get the lantern!" The lantern covers too broad a spectrum, and it would have been more fun and useful, if the lantern either limited itself to events long past or "recreating" recent events that...
This actually makes a lot of sense to me, and I appreciate the reply.
Without telling my life story, I've said before I played AD&D as a teen, quit in early 90' and just restarted with DnD in very late August-early September of this year.
SO what did I play for 17 some years? One helluva a lot of Amber Diceless RPG, some indie systems, and Nobilis.
So when you offered your comments, and another poster said "too much like a plot device" at first I didn't understand..
But now I think I get it. You see, the games that I mentally default to are all entirely plot driven. Everything is a plot device. If you get "Oh noes, the Emir of Zabar-denh has been killed - get the lantern!" that's actually a good thing. Because in those systems the GM can shape the output to craft more story.
Strange as it sounds, other than restricting it in a way that made it SRD legal, perhaps I didn't look at it through the "lens" of traditional DnD thinking. ("Get away with whatever you can")
Thanks Lilith!
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Bella Sara Charter Superscriber
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If I may impinge on the community for another reivew (and hopefully avoid a double post) how does the following item stack up (I ditched it after it was ridiculed by a friend):
Bountiful Sapling
This unassuming sapling is rooted in an equally simple earthen pot. It smells strongly of an unidentifiable fruit, which, if inhaled as a full-round action, dispels magical exhaustion or fatigue.
To unlock the true power of the sapling, it must be planted in the earth and given proper care, which requires a Knowledge: Nature check (DC 20). The sapling requires a month to mature into a tree capable of bearing fruit that can store druid spells in exactly the same way as a potion. The druid does not need the Brew Potion feat to create these potion-fruits, but must still spend the gold, experience, and time required to create a single potion of the type desired. Once this preparation is complete, the druid must make another Knowledge: Nature check (DC 20). If this check is successful, the tree sprouts 2d4 potion-fruits (all of the same type) one month later. Failing the Knowledge: Nature check means that the tree fails to take to the earth or sprout potion-fruits, but does not result in the destruction of the plant.
Moderate conjuration; CL 10th; Craft Wondrous Item, Brew Potion, restoration, greater; Price 10,000 gp; Weight 10 lbs.
I went with the time shifter because, as noted above, the reaction of a friend was "Dude, a plant? That's stupid."
Cool items all around. Here's a bit of review on some that struck me in some way. I hope it helps.
Greysector's Gauntlet of Life Transference
I'll post my item below, which also gives healing ability to a class which normally doesn't get it. I'm not sure if that was the reason for rejection, though.
Good theme, though it's not specific how much energy is stored. Does it get 1 HD per kill no matter what? Or does it store HD equal to the killed creature's HD?
Steev42's Mantle of Resurrection
Kind of a cool flavour item. I wonder if it was just too similar to a Resurrection scroll, but with a limitation attached. I like the idea of the players killing a Big Bad, taking a breath, and then having him get right back up again and dusting himself off. The players would hate it, though.
Watcher!'s Watcher Lantern of Light Long Lost
Very cool story and theme elements. It oozes flavour. I worry that it's too powerful and gamebreaking, in the way that the "find the path" spell is kind of a "spoil the adventure" gimmick. Maybe if it had limited uses?
Koldoon's Spoon of the Witch Queen
I had a player with an alchemist character who would have loved this to bits. The name is cool and fun to say.
Tallghost's Portable Portal
This is really fun. It reminds me of "Bettlejuice" with the walls opening. Permanent doors I'm not so sure about. I guess with enough effort, or a stoneshape spell you can make permanent holes. Cool flavour.
Here's mine.
Cracked Arcane Healing Amulet
This amulet transforms arcane energy into healing power, like a weak
and flawed version of a Cleric's Spontaneous Casting.
The alabaster amulet's design is a curled dragon devouring its tail. A
large crack down the middle gives it a frail appearance. Those healed
by this amulet describe the experience as cold and unpleasant, as
opposed to the warm euphoria of divine healing. Researchers theorize
that the meager healing output and ability damage side effect are due
to the abuse the amulet has sustained. It is currently undetermined
how powerful it was when originally created, and unflawed.
Reproductions of this item invariably exhibit the same damage pattern.
To activate the amulet, the arcane caster sacrifices a spell (maximum
spell level 5th) from his prepared spells or 'spells per day', then
channels that arcane energy into the amulet as a full round action,
and must willingly accept one point of ability damage to CON, and then
touch the target. The amulet heals the target 1d4 hp per level of
spell sacrificed. Arcane casters without CON scores cannot use the
amulet. Divine spells cannot be sacrificed.
Moderate necromancy; CL 5th; Craft Wondrous Item, vampiric touch;
Price 8,000 gp.
self-criticism
I worry that "arcane magic should not be able to heal (at low level)" was a rule I broke with this item, and shouldn't have. Maybe the built in penalty wasn't high enough, or was too high?
Maybe it just wasn't useful enough. It sure could help prevent a TPK under the right circumstances, but might not be used every day.
The idea was that the item may have once been an artifact, was broken, but still has some use as a wondrous object in its broken form. Wizards could copy its composition, and try to achieve its original powers, but without the skill to create an actual artifact, the copies would turn out broken as well.
This item could be discovered relatively early in a campaign, and eventually restoring it to working artifact status could be a high-level goal.
Please review and offer any criticism. I really want to learn!
Everflapping Cape
Freakin' sweet! I love it!
As self-conscious as I'm currently feeling, I do want to grow as a writer and designer. So, here is my entry.
Second Thought
This thin, brushed-metal skullcap extends down the left side of its wearer’s head and face. Within this odd helmet is a whirring mass of clockwork extending impossibly deep into the metal, safely tucked away in extra-dimensional space.
This item grants the wearer immunity to mind-affecting spells and effects by creating a layer of impenetrable, interfering thoughts. Any time the helmet is donned, it requires 48 hours to attune itself to the wearer before any benefit is gained. Upon blocking twelve spells or effects, the item ceases normal functions and automatically begins a reset cycle, which requires 48 hours to complete during which it must be continuously worn. Once the item has reset, it resumes its normal functions.
These skullcaps often develop intelligence over time. After every reset cycle, there is a cumulative 1% chance that they develop rudimentary intelligence and, subsequently, increase in intelligence (following the guidelines for intelligent items). The extra-dimensional space inside the item extends approximately 2 ft. into the helmet at creation, but it increases over time and with increasing intelligence: the most spacious containing entire clockwork cities.
Strong abjuration; CL 15th; Craft Wondrous Item, mind blank; Price 120,000 gp; Weigh 1 lb.
All comments are welcome.
-Scott
Bountiful Sapling
I don't hate it out of hand.
Once it is planted, can the druid use it every month to make potion-fruits?
And...where does the spent gold go, and what does the druid have to do during the spent time? Just tend to the tree all day?
Here's my thoughts on some of these items.
Gloves of Force Shaping
There's a lot going on with this item, and the cost seems low for something that can overcome all sorts of normally immovable blocks.
Coin of Fortune
Mainly, I see a lot of text for this one, but with very little gain. It's an inexpensive item, but how many people care all that much about +2 bonuses to skill checks?
Spoon of the Witch Queen
I like this, though I'd probably strike the 'reverts to clean safe water' thing, as that doesn't seem to match. Something wrong with spoon though, combined with Witch Queen. Ladle or stirrer, maybe.
Misleading Cloak
Heh. See the Amulet of the Kings (posted by someone in my gaming group). I imagine they got a number of these things. I think the name would need some work, it sounds more like a bluff or persuasion object.
Headband of Momentary Defiance
This one is very low-priced. I think the going rate for feats is about 2,000gp, and this duplicates one of the luck feats from Complete Scoundre. In addition, the restoration mechanic is odd and doesn't seem to match the item.
Helm of Legendary Inspiration
I suspect the combination of knowledge skill support and combat enhancement struck them as off-kilter, but that's just a guess. Plus the negative level mechanic seems iffy - was that an attempt to lower the cost of the item?
Portable Portal
This is pretty cool. But I don't like the permanent aspect of it, and I might restrict the materials somewhat - I don't like the idea of a door appearing in the wall of someone's castle.
Warpaint of Au'rik
Basically, a lot of flavor text and mechanics (a Craft check?) to gain a +4 bonus on intimidate. Interesting, but not overly so.
Bracelet of Spellbinding
Pretty good, but not terribly exciting. Going from 5 feet to 60 feet seems like quite a leap.
Goblin Gruel
Without the name, there's not really much here, though I like it because of the name and backstory.
Quill of Translation
Yes, useful but not overly interesting. Can't see many people saying "ooh! I have to have one of those!" Of course, now that I think of it, the same is true of my item :)
Needs much more description of its effects. What you posted would barely give me any guidance in a game. If this is what the Spell Compedium rules are like, it's just as well they're unavailable.
Since you can't use any of the spells that you quoted at all, I wouldn't worry about the parallels.
If I made an item that created the effect of protection from evil on the bearer, I wouldn't spell it out, I'd just name the spell. That's what this is - I just used a Compendium spell.
If I may impinge on the community for another reivew (and hopefully avoid a double post) how does the following item stack up (I ditched it after it was ridiculed by a friend):
Bountiful Sapling
This unassuming sapling is rooted in an equally simple earthen pot. It smells strongly of an unidentifiable fruit, which, if inhaled as a full-round action, dispels magical exhaustion or fatigue.
To unlock the true power of the sapling, it must be planted in the earth and given proper care, which requires a Knowledge: Nature check (DC 20). The sapling requires a month to mature into a tree capable of bearing fruit that can store druid spells in exactly the same way as a potion. The druid does not need the Brew Potion feat to create these potion-fruits, but must still spend the gold, experience, and time required to create a single potion of the type desired. Once this preparation is complete, the druid must make another Knowledge: Nature check (DC 20). If this check is successful, the tree sprouts 2d4 potion-fruits (all of the same type) one month later. Failing the Knowledge: Nature check means that the tree fails to take to the earth or sprout potion-fruits, but does not result in the destruction of the plant.
Moderate conjuration; CL 10th; Craft Wondrous Item, Brew Potion, restoration, greater; Price 10,000 gp; Weight 10 lbs.
I went with the time shifter because, as noted above, the reaction of a friend was "Dude, a plant? That's stupid."
I like this item quite a bit, but as written it's rife for abuse. You need a clause that states that the fruit will grow rotten after a period of time < month, so that it is never possible to have more than one harvest at a time.
- Ashavan
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Syringe of RetributionJust one question; how does the syringe know the target's attitude to the wielder? Maybe a Detect Thoughts effect is needed?
This is a problem with a lot of spells, which state'affects X number of allies' instead of 'X number of targets, chosen, rightly or wrongly, by the caster'.
PS: I think my attitude might worsen a step or two if someone stuck a needle in me....
Thanks for the feedback! Detect Thoughts makes sense.
As for the change in attitude, that's to be determined by the DM according the circumstances when the syringe is used. This doesn't enter into the specifics of the item's effects. :)
If I made an item that created the effect of protection from evil on the bearer, I wouldn't spell it out, I'd just name the spell. That's what this is - I just used a Compendium spell.
Yes, but that's not SRD. It violates the rules of the competition.
Well here is mine that didn't make it.
I suspect it didn't make the cut based on it being essentially a "monster in a box" item which was a term I saw for the first time when Clark used it in a post on the baords here, and of course which I didn't see until after having submitted it.
Anyone care to comment/critcise, creatively or otherwise. :-)
Fiendish Helm
This imposing looking full helm and gorget is a startlingly lifelike representation of a demonic head. With gnarled horns, baleful glowing eyes, flowing mane of coarse black hair and a snarling tooth filled maw. With the faceplate locked in place, it requires a Spot Check at DC 20 to determine that it is a helm rather than the wearer’s real head.
The helm is so imposing that the wearer gains a +4 Circumstance bonus on Intimidate checks, and suffers a -4 Circumstance bonus on Diplomacy checks.
With the faceplate of the helm in place, the helm grants the wearer the following powers.
o Darkvision 60ft,
o Immunity to electricity and poison,
o Resistance to acid 10, cold 10, fire 10,
o The ability to speak and understand Abyssal.
o Once a day the wearer can inflict Doom to all creatures in a 30 ft radius (Will DC 20 negates)
Strong Abjuration; CL 8th; Craft Wondrous Items, Craft Magic Arms and Armor, darkvision, doom, protection from energy, resist energy, tongues; Price 85,000gp; Weight 6 lb
Armband of the Apothecary
A solid item! I like the intertwining snakes and the concept of the different alignments. It's dangerous to give healing powers to non-healing classes, however, and this may be why your item was rejected.
Gloves of the Badger
The wearer is able to tunnel through earth, but does not create a tunnel. I'm a bit confused there. I assume this means the burrowing is only useful to the person wearing the gloves then? That person cannot lead a party through the ground? Do the gloves allow someone to breathe underground as well? How do the gloves affect creatures like earth elementals? I'm left with more questions than answers. :)
Mantle of Resurrection
Seems to be a DM item; not many PCs would care to wear one, I don't think. Seems good, but doesn't have the flash to be considered a top item IMO. I like it. :)
Misleading Cloak
A spell in a box (cloak) item. Unfortunately, it's pretty vanilla, so nothing really comes out and grabs you. Now, if your image exploded in a shower of elemental ice when it's hit, (any Subzero fans out there?), you might have gotten another look. :) A good start, but needs some spice.
Headband of Momentary Defiance
Wow, very small cost on a reusable item! The holy water is an odd vehicle for recharging it as well, since the Headband has a very arcane feel to it. I think this might be better as a permanent item with a much higher price tag on it.
Helm of Legendary Inspiration
It strikes me that any character that uses Knowledge (History) won't benefit much from Whirlwind Attack, and vice versa. Also, bards, who are the most likely class to be able to use both benefits, are generally chaotic in alignment, so you've excluded them as well. The powers don't seem to work together well, IMO.
Warpaint of Au’rik
You mention the warpaint countering the Elvenkind items, but the crunch doesn't really match the fluff. An interesting item, but I would go a different direction with the supporting fluff.
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Bella Sara Charter Superscriber
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Bountiful SaplingI don't hate it out of hand.
Once it is planted, can the druid use it every month to make potion-fruits?
And...where does the spent gold go, and what does the druid have to do during the spent time? Just tend to the tree all day?
Yeah, it's usable every month. The druid basically buys the potion material components and then uses them to fertilize the tree during that day.
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Bella Sara Charter Superscriber
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I like this item quite a bit, but as written it's rife for abuse. You need a clause that states that the fruit will grow rotten after a period of time < month, so that it is never possible to have more than one harvest at a time.- Ashavan
That's probably a good point - there is a whole raft of bizzare behavior you can do to store up potion fruits.
Damn. Looks like I submitted the wrong item.
I believe I have already figured out what I did wrong...
I was trying to foreshadow a possible culture/country with my item to get a "leg up" for the second round. This caused me to make two mistakes. The first was to add a second power to my item which was a bit exotic and therefore distracting. I under-priced the item because I was too focused on the primary power, not the secondary. The second mistake was to put too much flavor text. This made my item all the more complicated when I should have just stuck with simple.
Here is my original submission:
Mask of the Sea-Reavers, Eagle
The native half-elves who make these masks practice “potlatch” or formal gift-giving. If a mask is given freely as a gift to someone outside the family, tribe, or group (DM's discretion) the native gods smile upon the giver. He receives an inherent bonus of +1 to his charisma score. This bonus is available only once and is lost if the group ever buys or steals a similar mask.
Note: explorers and survivors have reported eagle, raven, and bear masks. Rumors speak of more exotic masks.
Eagle
The native half-elven tribal warriors use these masks during their coastal raids. Slipping silently through the fog in their canoes, warriors wearing an eagle mask are granted the ability to see in fog, mist, smoke and similar effects (magical or otherwise) as if the effect were not present. Therefore any targets of the wearer are not granted concealment by these effects.
Moderate conjuration; CL 10; Craft Wondrous Item, obscuring mist, eagle’s splendor; Price: 40,000 gp; Weight 1lb.
After seeing the winners and reading some of the comments here's how I would edit it:
Mask of the Sea-Reavers, Eagle revised
Note: explorers and survivors have reported eagle, raven, and bear masks. Rumors speak of more exotic masks.
Eagle
Anyone wearing an eagle mask is granted the ability to see in fog, mist, smoke and similar effects (magical or otherwise) as if the effect were not present. Therefore any targets of the wearer are not granted concealment by these or similar effects.
Moderate conjuration; CL 7; Craft Wondrous Item, obscuring mist; Price: 5,000 gp; Weight 1lb.
Gloves of the Badger
The wearer is able to tunnel through earth, but does not create a tunnel. I'm a bit confused there. I assume this means the burrowing is only useful to the person wearing the gloves then? That person cannot lead a party through the ground? Do the gloves allow someone to breathe underground as well? How do the gloves affect creatures like earth elementals? I'm left with more questions than answers. :)
I based the burrowing off of the description for Burrow in the SRD.
The more comments I get on this, the more I see I could have done with it! I want to kick myself for not spending more time on it (I wasted too much time on other ideas that didn't make it), but what's done is done. This portion of the contest was extremely educational. Although I've been playing (A)D&D for almost 25 years, I never once created a Wondrous Item worth mentioning. This contest has been an exercise in creativity and understanding of mechanics and game balance. It has been a while since I felt really good about creating an RPG element (be it item, monster, adventure, etc).
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Okay, as I've now seen that I was not selected, as well as the quality of the work that beat me out, I figured I'd share my submission (especially now that I see Erik OKed it).
Here is the Varisian Climbing Scarf, enjoy and comments are more than welcome.
Varisian Climbing Scarf
First, the twelve foot long scarf can grow to thirty-six feet long, eighteen inches wide, and two inches thick with the capability of supporting 2,000 pounds.
Second, the owner of the scarf is able to anchor either end of the scarf, or both ends, to vertical and horizontal surfaces, such as walls, ceilings, ramparts, or columns. This anchoring can be broken by either making a DC 24 Strength Check or by attacking the scarf’s integrity versus a hardness of 10 and 12 hit points. If used as a climbing harness the owner can climb like a spider, but only from their hands which hold the ends of the scarf.
Last, the scarf can be commanded to glide or bound in any direction by the owner so that it may secure its self upon a desired surface or about an object or objects. The rate of movement for the scarf is 10 feet per round.
Faint transmutation; CL 3rd; Craft Wondrous Item, animate rope, shrink item, spider climb; Price 18,000 gp; Weight 3 lb.
Well, here is mine:
Belt of Heroic Action
The wearer can declare the use of a charge before the Game Master reveals the result of that roll. The wearer cannot use a charge on a skill check or ability check when taking 10 or 20. Expending additional charges allows the wearer to roll more than one d6, applying the highest result.
1 charge: 1d6
2 charges: 2d6
3 charges: 3d6
Note: In a campaign setting allowing the use of action points, a belt of heroic action instead grants the wearer one additional action point. It also allows him or her to roll more than one d6 when spending an action point, applying the highest result.
1 charge: 2d6
2 charges: 3d6
3 charges: 4d6
Moderate enchantment; CL 11th; Craft Wondrous Item, greater heroism; Price 14,750 gp.
It is a "catch all item" (which probably led to its dismissal), but I do like the Action point mechanic and wanted a way to implement that idea in a non Action point campaign. Furthermore, I thought the randomness of a d6 would downplay the "catch all" aspect. Anyway, that is where the idea began.