He's a sentient Melon, grown in the charming Welsh town of Usk, and wishes to spend all the money he's earned being a Famous Melon on a service that allows people to scream at each other over the internet.
Ol' Muskie and Jeff Bezoar are in a race to see who can be the first Earthling to land on the Sun. I wish them both success in this venture and hope they bring along their friends.
Captain: "Launch a probe at that unknown-"
Grey Science Officer: {starts rubbing hands in glee}
Captain: "NO! Not that kind of probe!"
Grey Science Officer: Awwww. {sighs, launches dumb ol' sensor torpedo}
Latest character concept: Roger The Wonder Orc, a half-orc cleric of Tyr who wears a curly powdered judge's wig and speaks entirely in unintentional double entendres.
Can he have Jeremy ClarksonThufir Hawat eyebrows to better arch and waggle at the entendres?
205. You have a phantom 3rd (or 5th) limb. And it's always itching.
221. Your new senseware implant has a glitch where you periodically hallucinate that another creature near you is itchy, but you are the one that feels it. It would be such a relief to your central nervous system if you could just gently scratch that itch for them. It would polite to get consent first, but if you ask and they say no... you're left still feeling the itch you can't scratch.
218: The implant's provenance remains a mystery, but from time to time it's utterances and interjections into your consciousness would lead you to believe it was recycled from a brilliant but depressed android. On the plus side, you do find it's distinctive voice to be mellifluous and soothing, even while it's complaining.
A potted plant would be a better option because the plant can't screw anything up. The plant also won't be mistaken as being qualified for the position by it's mere existence.
Note to self: Stat up a Numerian leshy tinkerer alchemist named Dwight Schroote.
Ah, the infamous kobold plush trap (or is it plush kobold trap), from which few can escape. {shake's fist at the fiendishly clever Tucker}
Edit: Makes mental note to stat up plush critter version of Sarlacc pit. ("In its belly, you will find a new definition of comfort and snuggling as you are slowly, blissfully digested over a thousand years.")
Selena sighs and goes to the com station..."Goblins of Mistress Rysky's Goblin Navy! Use knives to cut the ropes...do not use fire or explosions...do not use molasses and try to eat your way through."
I'm not falling for that again, I still have bits of caramel in my ears. I'm sure Mistress Rysky has you tied up for a very good reason. ;)
That is so 1990s. If I were to use Burtonesque in a conversation now, I'd be referring to Amos Burton of The Expanse. {proudly displays WWABD engraved on assault rifle}
Aiymi was well into junior high before she understood that dogs and cats were not the same animal. She honestly believed that dogs were the boys and cats were the girls of the same animal.
Ah. Like dwarves are the boys and elves are the girls of the same race.
And the slingshoting I done around Jupiter just three months ago?
yes. I vomited didn't I?
Oye kopeng, if you see any felota extraterrestrial rings out there, don't be nakangepensa; fly to kapawu clear of im. To pochuye ke?
I only know shadowspeak chummer, what the frag kinda speak is this omae?
You seriously need to watch all three seasons of The Expanse before season 4 starts. They're out on DVD & BluRay; even my underfunded local library system has them.
If nothing else, you can watch them and then mock Firefly even more brutally for all the things it got wrong.
Oh, and having own asteroid haven drifting through the void means immunity to flaming bikes.
flies into space
chisels a piece of rock in the shape of a bike
adds flaming decals to make it go faster
does math, vomits in space, which is REALLY messy
pushes chiseled "flaming" bike in direction of asteroid haven
waits patiently
Have you taken into account the difference in position of nearby planets between their location when I flew across their orbits and when your projectile followed?
And the slingshoting I done around Jupiter just three months ago?
yes. I vomited didn't I?
Oye kopeng, if you see any felota extraterrestrial rings out there, don't be nakangepensa; fly to kapawu clear of im. To pochuye ke?
We're not likely to make an official ruling on the question of vesk bellybuttons until or unless it becomes important for an adventure plot or rules element. That doesn't seem likely to me, but in strange eons...
And who knows, we might do a Veskarium book where we felt the need for more complete biological info.
Unofficially, I'd say vesk certainly don't have bellybuttons. Even if they aren't egg-layers, it seems likely they'd have that anatomy fuse over, given their armored exteriors.
On the other hand, human culture is pretty infectious. If vesk are able to go in to the corner bodyshop for scale re-coloring or texture alteration/resurfacing, it's also possible that they might start deciding to get belly buttons strictly for fashion.
"But Mooooooooooom, I needed a belly button so I could wearing navel piercings."
or
"Katara's favorite trid starlet Nomezi® always wears belly-baring outfits, so for her birthday, I got her a giftcred at Body by Mu so she can get an innie."
Pantshandshake wrote:
New addition to the next Alien Archive: Sentient Furniture.
If the Azlanti returned with their Star Empire, could a star-faring Ottoman Empire be next? :)
Calling it right now, Zon-Kuthon's minions are gonna be behind this. All this talk of chains and rapture from pain sounds pretty Hellraiser to me, and that's kind of Zon-Kuthon's THING.
You aren't exactly right, but you aren't WRONG either. Hehehe.
So, minions of the newly returned and newly Evil goddess, Shelyn?
I think it's too early yet to say that gobs will be freely allowed into human cities everywhere without any problems, but yeah, kobolds should be allowed there too.
And given protein shakes and steroids to knock that -4 STR penalty down to -2.
I imagine the first goblins got into space by building really big flamethrowers -- like Atlas V or Falcon 9 big -- and then discovering Newton's Third Law followed shortly thereafter with discovering that they aren't Batman.
I think it would be helpful if, as a group, we stop lambasting people for being disappointed 2E is being released. No, their 1E books won't disappear, but there is definitely something to be said for active support. It is entirely reasonable for them to be disappointed, and mockery is mean-spirited and counter-productive.
I also think it would be helpful if, as a group, we refrain from referring to 2E as a "scam" or "cash grab." We will probably never know how much of the timing of 2E is for competitive reasons, but I see no reason to be cynical or assume that there isn't a genuine desire to improve the game.
"What makes a bugleyman turn neutral? Lust for gold? Power? Or were you just born with a heart full of neutrality?" ;)
No one ever listens to poor Zathras, no, he's quite mad, they say. It is good that Zathras does not mind, has even grown to like it.
I am even more confused than previously. How can there be three sides to simple nudity?
There are two explanations of which I can think:
1) When someone is nude, there are three sides: the nudist's subjective experience, the observer(s) subjective experience, and the objective reality of a sentient not wearing clothes. For even when one is without clothes, one is usually still carrying their own intangible backpack of traditions, values, experiences, expectations, and perspectives. {rolls 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (5) + 2 = 7 Bluff check vs Azalah's Sense Motive to see if he falls for made-up-on-the-spot-bullcrap explanation}
b)
Spoiler:
The Vorlon was simply being tongue-in-cheek. (This is also the likeliest explanation.)
Crap, looks like we got another Will Riker and Thomas Riker incident, this time with BNW. Whose idea again was it to make a pugwampi transporter chief?
Edit: Wait, now there's only one again?! Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop drinking Romulan ale.
Going off of your example of Vesks being attracted to hats, it may be logical to assume that in Vesk-controlled areas, hats may be deemed as too lewd for public wear.
Now imagine the horrified look on a vesk parent's face when they see a young human reading Caps for Sale...
I'd respect Eoxians if they had instead demonstrated some long-term strategy and foresight not to nearly exterminate themselves. I'm not going to respect them simply because they are the undead equivalent of cockroaches.
It's fantasy setting, it doesn't have to be "realistic".
Depends on who you talk to. Some of us want the Electric Universe mentioned in Starfinder.
"Electric Universe"?
{whispers:} Electric Universe is a Schedule I hallucinogenic woo. I don't think they have a license to peddle it. Just smile and nod noncommittally to their gibberings until the cops arrive to bust them.
For my Ysoki icon, I found a compromise by wearing skin-color second skin. Sure, I might look like a featureless barbie doll, but hey, I'm sure my fellow party members are glad about that.
A bald-looking Ysoki probably wouldn't look too good. I don't know if you've ever seen a shaved rat before, but they don't exactly look Icon-worthy. And I tend to love rats.
I think you just need a high Charisma to pull it off.
My only problems with nudity in Starfinder is 1) that it reduces/eliminates the option for appearances by Elim Garak, which is too terrible to contemplate, and b) you now can't spontaneously break into dancing while shouting "SPACE PANTS!".
While it's perfectly fine to play androids however you wish and build their racial background from any number of sci-fi sources, Starfinder androids have very specific qualities. They are each invested with a quantifiable soul that moves on to the afterlife, the same as any other living sapient. Most were constructed with a specific gender, although many have since rejected the gender they were assigned at birth. This is all canon in the setting materials. Think of Starfinder androids as synthetic living humanoids, not soulless robots in human(oid) shapes.
Play your home games any way you wish, but here, I think most of the posters are assuming you are speaking of Starfinder-specific androids. It's like popping into a Pathfinder forum and talking about traits and lore specific to Tolkien elves or Faerun elves. That's perfectly fine for those elves (and at your gaming table) but that isn't canon for Pathfinder elves.
(Maybe we need a separate thread for androids who differ from the Starfinder canon?)
Earthbreaker:
Standard Melee: +4, 2d6+4 x3
PA Melee: +3, 2d6+7 x3
Throwing Axe:
Ranged: +4, 1d6+3 x2
+1 Heavy Flail:
Standard Melee: +5, 1d10+5 19-20x2
PA Melee: +4, 1d10+8 19-20x2
Skills:
Fighter 2+INT+RACE = 3
ACP = -5 //Armour Check Penalty
Acrobatics: -3 = 0 + DEX Mod - ACP;
Appraise: 0 = 0 + INT Mod;
Bluff: 1 = 0 + CHA Mod;
*Climb: +2 = 1 + STR Mod + 3 -ACP;
*Craft: 0 = 0 + INT Mod + 0;
Diplomacy: 1 = 0 + CHA Mod;
Disable Device: NA = NA + DEX Mod -ACP;
Disguise: 1 = 0 + CHA Mod;
Escape Artist: -3 = 0 + DEX Mod -ACP;
*Handle Animal: 1 = 0 + CHA Mod + 0;
Heal: 1 = 0 + WIS Mod;
*Intimidate: 5 = 1 + CHA Mod + 3;
Know(Arcane): 0 = 0 + INT Mod;
*Know(Dung): +4 = 1 + INT Mod + 3;
*Know(Engin): 0 = 0 + INT Mod + 0;
Know(Geo): 0 = 0 + INT Mod;
Know(Hist): 0 = 0 + INT Mod;
Know(Local): 0 = 0 + INT Mod;
Know(Nature): 0 = 0 + INT Mod;
Know(Noble): 0 = 0 + INT Mod;
Know(Planes): 0 = 0 + INT Mod;
Know(Religion): 0 = 0 + INT Mod;
Linguistics: NA = NA + INT Mod + 0;
Perception: +2(0) = 1 + WIS Mod;
*Ride: 1 = 1 + DEX Mod + 3 -ACP;
Sense Motive: +1(-1) = 0 + WIS Mod;
Sleight of Hand: -3 = 0 + DEX Mod -ACP;
Spellcraft: NA = NA + INT Mod + 0;
Stealth: -3 = 0 + DEX Mod -ACP;
*Survival: +1(-1) = 0 + WIS Mod + 0;
*Swim: 2 = 1 + STR Mod + 3 -ACP;
Use Magical Device: NA = NA + CHA Mod + 0;
Class features, Feats, Traits and Racial Traits:
Class features:
Bravery: +1 Will save vs. Fear
Feats:
Power Attack: -1 to hit /+3 to dmg
Cleave: -2AC, hit two adjacent foes, single attack
Fortified Armor Training: Break armor or shield to negate crit
Iron Will: +2 Will saves
Traits:
Armour Expert: ACP is 1 less
Defensive Strategist: Never flat-footed when unaware
Racial Traits:
Bonus Feat
Skilled - Extra skill point at each level
Avalerdis, or Ava as the Southerners tend to call her, is a large woman of obvious Ulfen heritage. She stands at 6’10” and weighs 340 pounds with broad shoulders, wide hips, and tremendous strength. For those outside the Ulfen realms, her size is usually a shock, but only made more so by how deftly she wields her earth breaker, a weapon even the Ulfen regard as too heavy for most. Ava has long dirty blonde hair, which she usually wears in one or two braids and light brown eyes. Her face would be attractive, but her nose has been broken too many times and her teeth show signs of battle as well. While not ugly, Ava gets far more attention for her size than her beauty. She turns even more heads for her battle prowess.
Typically, she is seen wearing a gray pants and a blue tunic over which she will wear her armor. A necklace of bear’s teeth is the only adornments she will suffer, though sometimes she is seen with a fur cloak instead of her usual gray one.
Background:
Avalerdis hails from the frozen lands of the Linnorm Kings. Her family made their home near Hero’s Rest on the border with Irrisen. Her father and two eldest brothers were killed in a massive raid on the town by the Winter Witches and trolls of Irrisen before she was even born. Her mother, Tridis, was mad with grief after the battle and fled to the Empty Boneyard to seek solace. While she grieved, a silver-haired woman approached and comforted Tridis. Tridis denounced the unending war between the Ulfen and Irrisen which had taken her husband and sons from her. The woman promised Tridis that her family’s sacrifice would not go unrewarded, but that the struggle needed to continue. She foretold that Tridis carried a child who would escape the wars in frozen north. Tridis knew the woman who comforted her was none other than the Silver Dragon Avaleru. She redoubled her family against the Irrisen, sending her two youngest sons to train and prepare for coming battles. And when the new baby was born, Tirdis named her Avalerdis in honor of the dragon’s promise.
Avalerdis grew up with the heart of a Ulfen warrior. She grew quickly and grew strong, easily matching her older brothers in feats of daring and strength. Despite this, Avalerdis was forbidden to join the raiders or the Blackravens. From an early age, she was told that her destiny lie in the southern lands. When she was 17, her mother told her the time had come. She was given her father’s old mail and she departed south to see what the words of the dragon held for her.
Personality:
Avalerdis is a woman to make any Ulfen warrior proud. She is a brash, young warrior with strength to challenge any man. She’s at home in a fight as well as a tavern, singing songs of valor or noble sacrifice. While she’s seen many a fight, she still has a naive sense of honor. She grew up with a very clear sense of ally and enemy, so the deception and intrigue she’s encountered in the south often frustrate her. She picked up her faith in Torag from her homeland, and she loves hearing the stories the priests tell. She despises snakes and recently has found a love of bear wrestling.
Avalerdis is known in the Ulfen tradition as Shield-Breaker, though the reasons tend to vary. She will tell you it’s from her powerful strikes with the heavy Earthbreaker. Some say it’s from her tendency to take heavy strikes on her buckler. Still others, who only talk behind her back, say it’s from her ugly face which has either been beaten by a shield until it broke or can simply break a shield by it’s mere look.
Data:
Name: Avalerdis (Ava) Freyrdin, called Shield-Breaker
Race: Human (Ulfen)
Age: 18
Personality: Brash, bold, brave
Likes: Adventure, Good friends, Good drink and good food, feats of strength and daring
Dislikes: Snakes, weak ale, cowards, and sad songs
Favorite foods: Meats, potatoes, eggs, onions, cabbage,
Hobbies: Dicing, listening to stories of legend, wrestling bears
Physical Description: Dirty blonde hair in braid(s), light brown eyes, crooked nose and teeth, large frame with broad shoulders and hips.
