Bernaditi

Mr. Pilkington, Philosoraptor's page

38 posts. Alias of Ambrosia Slaad.


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Scarab Sages

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Vidmaster7 wrote:
Well for my job I am currently still waiting on my replacement who has been bare minimum 15 minutes later every day for the last month so :(

If you keep arriving cumulatively later for long enough, eventually you start arriving early?

Scarab Sages

Woran wrote:

I have demonstrated to many people today that you can operate a touch screen with a banana.

Its a fun party trick.

Yeah, but fingers are cheaper. A banana costs what, $10 each?

Scarab Sages

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Feros wrote:
I wonder if the rest of the office staff would organize some form of danegeld to keep Jason and his raiders at bay.

That would be unwise.

Scarab Sages

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The Sideromancer wrote:
Gary Teter wrote:

10th epoch

"Your fair maiden," said Mareshka. "That will damp him . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "

Did the bot actually put in that many periods? It must really like dramatic pauses.

Ooo, unstoppable force vs immovable object: Is there a bot trained to be so scene-chewingly overdramatic (i.e. ShatBot) that not even the Shat himself can talk it into self-destructing?

Scarab Sages

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captain yesterday wrote:
It turns out asphalted shoes are slightly slippery on asphalt, so the plan is to wear my shoes on a rainy day, dangle a stuffed animal in front of the dog and see if I can't shoe surf as he pulls me along by his leash.

Can you just buy a pair of shoes several sizes larger and wear them over your newfangled asphalt shoes?

Also, "asphalt shoes" sounds like Mark Hamill's Joker mobster-buried you under a newly paved road and then put up a little sign to commemorate it.

Scarab Sages

Do Technomantic Flumphs Dream of Electronic Waffles?

Scarab Sages

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Owen K. C. Stephens wrote:
And all the existing classes have small arms proficiency, in any case.

There's a T-Rex joke in there somewhere.

---

I really like Quig, he reminds me a bit of Farscape's Chiana in being an inquisitive, highly impulsive, pragmatic survivor. Hopefully, he'll soon add a "cupholder" to his DRD drone 1812 Scout for Chk Chk's cradle-jar.

Scarab Sages

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Jessica Price wrote:
Iammars wrote:
Mike Selinker wrote:
P.S. The way to tell Wes and Sutter apart is that Wes isn't the one riding naked through Fremont.
Wait, what?
It is known.

Sutter also doesn't get snowed in/trapped at the office (or if he has, he's bribed/threatened everyone not to speak of it).

Scarab Sages

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I blame Cosmo that I can't get the phrase "James Baxter" out of my head.

Scarab Sages

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Sharoth wrote:
Chryssalid wrote:
~pops up and attacks Sharoth~
~screams like a little girl (dragon), then stomps the bug~

{puffs on pipe} I zee. Und how does sat make you veel, Herr Dragon? Vat azpeckt of your pzyche "bugs" you zo?

Aren't you really only tryink to hurt yourzelf? {scribbles note: "Very crazy. Make sure he has a fat insurance policy." }

Scarab Sages

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Starship Captain Yesterday wrote:
PLASMA BLADE!!!!

Hmmm... five robot Yesterdays that combine into Yestertron, Defender of the FaWtLverse?

Scarab Sages

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The dinosaur aliens* from the short story, and later Outer Limits TV episode, "Think Like a Dinosaur" (huge spoilers)

* If they did pop-up in Starfinder, they should really be named after Jacobsaurus Rex himself.

Scarab Sages

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He's developing a new hybrid of tyrannosaur that gains a stegosaurus spiked tail and replaces the puny arms with utahraptor jaws.

Scarab Sages

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shadram wrote:
Inner Sea Dinosaurs

Mr. Jacobsaur is writing the script, and any on-set re-writes, for Jurassic World II: To Serve Man.

Spoiler 1: The dinos win. Chris Pratt is delicious after a nice marinate and slow cooking.

Spoiler 2: The artificial butter served on the popcorn during the premiere will contain a modified retrovirus that rewrites dino DNA into the consumer's own.

Scarab Sages

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This thread transformed into a FaWTL variant so quickly, I hardly even noticed it.

Scarab Sages

Milo v3 wrote:
Arachnofiend wrote:

Okay, I can't believe I haven't thought to ask this until now, but...

Can a Geokineticist spontaneously create giant statues of themselves? This is definitely the most important aspect of the class-no, the entire book.

Note to Self: Make the earth elementals my geokineticist summons shaped as statues of my character.

Addendum: Be thankful Alain is a cavalier and not a geokineticist.

Scarab Sages

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Tels wrote:
Mark Moreland wrote:
We have not had interns for almost a year. After what happened to the last few, we deemed it an inefficient investment. Now the warehouse raptors are too full for interns; they'd have nowhere to put them!
So then, I guess, by virtue of 'not having interns' then the answer is 'yes, the interns have been behaving'. :P

Ah, the ol' "The (raptor) feedings will continue until (the interns') morale improves" ploy.

Scarab Sages

Hama wrote:
After all they postulated the definition of grimdark

Grimdark was my favorite of the cartoon Dinobots.

Scarab Sages

When you're a dinosaur, you have to keep both eyes on pirates at all times.

Scarab Sages

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I blame Cosmo that no one has blamed Cosmo since yesterday.

Scarab Sages

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Souhiro wrote:
I demand that the members of the staff, personally, recover every copy of the bestiary, apologize, and deliver every subscriber a new one with this errata corrected, showing that Raptors has a flight speed. It would be nice if they also add to the package a sweet picture of a Velociraptor and a Deinonychus in a playground, using their videoconsoles (In XXII Century, everybody knows that young velociraptors had nintendos back in the early cretaceous)

{finishes tapping on keyboard} I've scheduled a rush delivery that should arrive for you this afternoon. We apologize for not having access to time-traveling technology in order to foresee such discoveries in real world palaeontology. Thank you for your patience, and please wait where you are, as our Director—Mr. Treerazer himself—will be personally stopping by to take you to lunch.

Scarab Sages

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Alexander Augunas wrote:
Only two posts? I guess taking all the world's blame in exchange for getting kitsune as a PFS race was TOTALLY worth it.

Well, maybe you can intern for the Krampus and fill in when he takes a vacation?

Scarab Sages

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Rysky wrote:
Liz Courts wrote:
Katina whispers: You're the chosen one...
The level of amusement stemming from this greatly depends on who she's whispering this to...

The next doughnut to be eaten? The next cave raptor to be awoken from the clone tanks? Puppet Wes Schneider?

Scarab Sages

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Freehold DM wrote:
Found both the key for the door AND a workaround to a problem I was having with the blue tooth keyboard in Microsoft Office Mobile. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

{watches Freehold figure out the door lock} Clever girl.

Scarab Sages

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Mr. Pilkington, Philosoraptor wrote:
Lamontius wrote:

so who is going to tell robot chris that a thesaurus is not actually a dinosaur

not it

Actually, the thesaurus was a dinoaur, Achillobator logorrhea. It would silently stalk its prey, chase and herd it into a cul-de-sac, and then use it's scores of viscous teeth to... talk the prey to death! {shudders at the savagery}

OK, I can accept the typo/misspelling of "dinoaur", but viscous instead of vicious?! Geez... I wonder what is in this cup of tea? I thought that barista looked suspiciously like a pugwampi... COSMO! {shakes claw}

Scarab Sages

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Lamontius wrote:

so who is going to tell robot chris that a thesaurus is not actually a dinosaur

not it

Actually, the thesaurus was a dinoaur, Achillobator logorrhea. It would silently stalk its prey, chase and herd it into a cul-de-sac, and then use it's scores of viscous teeth to... talk the prey to death! {shudders at the savagery}

Scarab Sages

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Cosmo wrote:
Chris Lambertz wrote:
I blame Cosmo because I don't have a t-rex with a spoiler.
This is the first post for which I am truly sorry. You deserve that T-rex with a spoiler.

Nah, spoilers are gateway customizations... pretty soon, you'll be tempted to give your T-Rex neon undercarriage lights and adjustable hydraulic suspension.

I blame Xzibit for putting more Cosmos inside Cosmo so I can be afraid of clowns while I'm being afraid of clowns.

Scarab Sages

Are you the type of individual that would put a sticker in the rear window of his car?

Scarab Sages

Interns can fly as checked baggage, right? :)

Scarab Sages

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Jessica Price wrote:
Paizo cave raptors are not bound by your silly human notions of size.

Or locked doors. {puffs on pipe}

Scarab Sages

And a rogues gallery, like Always Sunny Woman or Bright Side or The Optimist.

Scarab Sages

Frosty Britches

Scarab Sages

Philosoraptor wrote:

If hundreds of physicists saw the Higgs-Boson,

does that make it a mass sighting?

Good show, old bean! And my, aren't you devilishly handsome?

Scarab Sages

{pops in, leaves book on table by the door} Oh hello, if anyone sees Dr. Lector, please let him know I returned his book. I found the Advanced Racial Cookbook just full of wonderful ideas.

I have to get back home. I have a nice braised gnome au vin that should be ready in about a half hour.

Scarab Sages

Alexander Augunas wrote:
After all, this is what the Race Cooking section is for. Beef up your kobolds!

So that's what I was doing wrong... {secures lid on slow-cooking kobolds, heads to store for oxtail and beef stock}

Scarab Sages

Liz Courts wrote:
Savannah Broadway wrote:
...Also, I don't think they'll unleash the raptors until after PaizoCon. Maybe. I hope...

Fortunately for you I don't think they know how to use doors yet.

...I don't think so at any rate... Who knows what eldritch forces are at work beyond the Great Door?

No no, doors completely stump us. You're totally safe. Relax. No danger at all. {continues reading Paizo's Advanced Racial Cookbook}

Scarab Sages

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You could resolve all of those problems, Doodlebug, if you drove an 18-wheeler with a giant Green Goblin head on the front. And played AC/DC really loud.

Scarab Sages

Jean-Paul Sartre, Intrnet Troll wrote:
Yes, I hope nothing has happened to him.

His work here complete, he ascended unto a higher plane, much like IssacX.