Intern's Log


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Editorial Intern

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Most Paizo employees have flown to Gen Con. While not desperately trying to get subscriptions out with the warehouse crew, I sit in my dark office and listen to the cave raptors scuttle around in the walls. I think the spider decorations hanging in the designers' office across the hall are starting to move.

Very few supervisory staff members remain. Contemplating office pranks.


Spider decorations? There were no spider decorations in the designers' office...

Sovereign Court

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Just remember, if you fill someone's office with packing material, just be sure to leave a bottle of their favorite alcohol on their desk ... it will delay the inevitable payback.


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but the call was coming from INSIDE THE HOUSE

Editorial Intern

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Drejk wrote:
Spider decorations? There were no spider decorations in the designers' office...

Spiders serve as a Jason Bulmahn deterrent. Sadly, they work on interns as well.

zylphryx wrote:
Just remember, if you fill someone's office with packing material, just be sure to leave a bottle of their favorite alcohol on their desk ... it will delay the inevitable payback.

One of the first things I was taught at Paizo is the concept of ~*~INTERN IMMUNITY~*~. But I like your style.

I am pricing large quantities of party hats and gray spray paint for use in one office. I am open to ideas for Wes's office, James's office, and the development and editorial pits.

Editorial Intern

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We found the beginnings of a wasp nest under a pallet in the warehouse today. Clearly, this is a sign that the cave raptors have allied with a Calistrian cult. Rethinking helping the warehouse during subscription week.

Have dropped parents off at the airport for Gen Con, adding to newly-developed abandonment issues. Don't leave me, forum people.


Calistria-worshiping cave raptors??? That's awesome...

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Pathfinder Accessories, Pawns, Starfinder Society Subscriber; Pathfinder Roleplaying Game Superscriber

Get my sub out tomorrow and I'll never abandon you ;)


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Cassidy Werner wrote:
Don't leave me, forum people.

We aren't really there, responding to your thread. We are just figments of your already melting mind. Soon it will be time...soon it will be time...soon it will be time...


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Friendly Neighborhood Cultist wrote:
Cassidy Werner wrote:
Don't leave me, forum people.
We aren't really there, responding to your thread. We are just figments of your already melting mind. Soon it will be time...soon it will be time...soon it will be time...

TEKELI-LI! TEKELI-LI!


Cassidy Werner wrote:

Most Paizo employees have flown to Gen Con. While not desperately trying to get subscriptions out with the warehouse crew, I sit in my dark office and listen to the cave raptors scuttle around in the walls. I think the spider decorations hanging in the designers' office across the hall are starting to move.

Very few supervisory staff members remain. Contemplating office pranks.

Prank equipment list

Vegemite
Gladwrap
Superglue
Sticky tape
100 printed pictures of a creepy movie star
Blu-Tack
Talcum powder
Vaseline
Various tools for disassembling furniture
100 pingpong balls (my preference is for several bags of beanbag balls but I don't want you to get sacked)
Your imagination.

Sovereign Court

helium tank
hundreds upon hundreds of balloons
baling wire
strong rubber bands
champagne bottle streamer poppers

Spoiler:

Use the baling wire to make the desk chair incapable of rolling out from the desk. Use the rubber bands to have the desk draws close when released. Rig the streamer poppers to fire once the desk drawers are open. Fill the office with balloons the night before the target's return to the office.

Yes, I have done this. And I came in a few days later to find my desk wrapped in aluminum foil with a layer of glitter underneath the aluminum foil ... let me tell you, glitter and computer keyboards do not mix well at all.


Pathfinder Adventure Subscriber
Sissyl wrote:
Calistria-worshiping cave raptors??? That's awesome...

But noisy, I'll bet.

Counter of Magic Beans

Cassidy Werner wrote:

We found the beginnings of a wasp nest under a pallet in the warehouse today. Clearly, this is a sign that the cave raptors have allied with a Calistrian cult. Rethinking helping the warehouse during subscription week.

Have dropped parents off at the airport for Gen Con, adding to newly-developed abandonment issues. Don't leave me, forum people.

There's plenty of desk space up here! We'll give you Cosmo's desk. And your fellow "awesomes" have some plans you might be interested in...

Digital Products Assistant

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There are plenty of us up here. Waiting, lurking... mostly working on to-do lists :)


Was that a cave raptor sneaking around?

Editorial Intern

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Ashley, Chris, we must hold an official Office Shenanigans meeting. The purple monster's ideas intrigue me.

No, Drejk, that was just Mika. :D

Did you know that the warehouse employees have superhuman strength and endurance? On that note, back to subscriptions!


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did you know that dogs and bees can smell fear


Cassidy Werner wrote:

I am pricing large quantities of party hats and gray spray paint for use in one office. I am open to ideas for Wes's office, James's office, and the development and editorial pits.

3 words: tin foil office. We did this to one of our lieutenants when I was in the Air Force. Wrapped everything in her cubicle in tin foil, from her desk down to her pens. Somebody even managed to do her bdu top she left hanging on her chair. There is a demotivational poster of it floating around the interwebs.


Damn, looks like zylphryx beat me to the punch. Still, foil an office/cubicle.


Did the others returned from their trip?

Don't they seem different? Don't they act strange, as if not exactly being themselves?


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Ah, so I wasn't spotted sneaking into the office to leave that certain thing underneath a certain desk!

Good times...

Sovereign Court

OK, so who came back to the office to find what? Details, we must have details! And maybe photos ...


Hoping to hear some responses to what occured from the plotting on the "Overheard" thread...

-TimD

The Exchange

Is there a way to make Jason's office just smell of Liquor? I mean he will waste days looking for it if you can. Of course one assumes it does not already have such a lingering smell to it.


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Crimson Jester wrote:
Is there a way to make Jason's office just smell of Liquor? I mean he will waste days looking for it if you can. Of course one assumes it does not already have such a lingering smell to it.

That's just mean. That's like making my apartment smell of chocolate, but not having any. Don't get any ideas, bub. :)

The Exchange

Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
Crimson Jester wrote:
Is there a way to make Jason's office just smell of Liquor? I mean he will waste days looking for it if you can. Of course one assumes it does not already have such a lingering smell to it.
That's just mean. That's like making my apartment smell of chocolate, but not having any. Don't get any ideas, bub. :)

I know I saw something online about a chocolate smelling perfume or candles of something. Damn the trip to Florida is long, but hey it is nice down there.


I think the cave raptors may have gotten her.


Sounds like the cave raptors detected her chocolate perfume...

Editorial Intern

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Not cave raptors, but the creeping crud. I didn't even go to Gen Con!

Behold the result of our scheming.

Editorial Intern

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Drejk wrote:

Did the others returned from their trip?

Don't they seem different? Don't they act strange, as if not exactly being themselves?

They seem to have applied the zombie template to themselves, yes. I may invest in nerf guns.

There may or may not have been a directive on the project management whiteboard to BRING BOOZE on Tuesday... FOR FREEDOM! FOR HUMANKIND!


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Cassidy Werner wrote:

Not cave raptors, but the creeping crud. I didn't even go to Gen Con!

Behold the result of our scheming.

Nice!

Paizo Employee Developer

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Cassidy Werner wrote:
There may or may not have been a directive on the project management whiteboard to BRING BOOZE on Tuesday... FOR FREEDOM! FOR HUMANKIND!

And yet, there was no booze.

And I was disappointed.

Editorial Intern

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Adam Daigle wrote:
Cassidy Werner wrote:
There may or may not have been a directive on the project management whiteboard to BRING BOOZE on Tuesday... FOR FREEDOM! FOR HUMANKIND!

And yet, there was no booze.

And I was disappointed.

Maybe if you'd take your intern to Gen Con, she would have been so grateful she'd have brought some.


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Cassidy Werner wrote:
Adam Daigle wrote:
Cassidy Werner wrote:
There may or may not have been a directive on the project management whiteboard to BRING BOOZE on Tuesday... FOR FREEDOM! FOR HUMANKIND!

And yet, there was no booze.

And I was disappointed.

Maybe if you'd take your intern to Gen Con, she would have been so grateful she'd have brought some.

I am pretty sure alcohol of any kind never makes it back from Gen Con.

Scarab Sages

Interns can fly as checked baggage, right? :)

Editorial Intern

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Mr. Pilkington, Philosoraptor? Delightful. :D

The same rules apply to interns as apply to pets, thank you very much. One intern per flight can be stowed under the seat for an additional $80 charge.

Sovereign Court

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Cassidy Werner wrote:

Not cave raptors, but the creeping crud. I didn't even go to Gen Con!

Behold the result of our scheming.

Armor spikes and a vorpal bunny hidden in an innocent looking box?! Insidious! ;)

Great decoration btw. How did he react when he saw it?

Sovereign Court

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Adam Daigle wrote:
Cassidy Werner wrote:
There may or may not have been a directive on the project management whiteboard to BRING BOOZE on Tuesday... FOR FREEDOM! FOR HUMANKIND!

And yet, there was no booze.

And I was disappointed.

Find me at PaizoCon next year Adam ... You know there will be good rum to be had. ;)

Paizo Employee Developer

zylphryx wrote:
Adam Daigle wrote:
Cassidy Werner wrote:
There may or may not have been a directive on the project management whiteboard to BRING BOOZE on Tuesday... FOR FREEDOM! FOR HUMANKIND!

And yet, there was no booze.

And I was disappointed.

Find me at PaizoCon next year Adam ... You know there will be good rum to be had. ;)

So true!

Editorial Intern

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zylphryx wrote:
Cassidy Werner wrote:

Not cave raptors, but the creeping crud. I didn't even go to Gen Con!

Behold the result of our scheming.

Armor spikes and a vorpal bunny hidden in an innocent looking box?! Insidious! ;)

Great decoration btw. How did he react when he saw it?

Thanks! Mika from the warehouse helped. :)

He signed heavily, begrudgingly let me place the armor spike crown (not pictured) on his head, opened his office door... and sighed again. While he acted resigned on the outside, I'm pretty sure he liked it at least a little, because he left the spikes on the front of his desk. The ones on the door had to come down almost immediately--dear Mr. Mona took 1d3 damage after failing his Reflex save.

Jason hasn't even learned his lesson--he's leaving for Dragon Con next weekend.


That means you have another opportunity! And even more prep time than before!


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You need hundreds of pictures of Justin Bieber - big ones, small ones, poster sized... and then you need to hide and stick them all over the place... its the prank that keeps on pranking...

He opens his draw and Bieber is looking at him, he gets a book off the shelf to find a Bieber bookmark.

He goes to get a coffee and his mug has been replaced with a Bieber mug.


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The trick is how to do that without actually giving money to Bieber.


Orthos wrote:
The trick is how to do that without actually giving money to Bieber.

Internet + office plotter printer.


Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Maps, Pathfinder Accessories, Pawns, Rulebook Subscriber; Pathfinder Battles Case Subscriber
Lilith wrote:
Orthos wrote:
The trick is how to do that without actually giving money to Bieber.
Internet + office plotter printer.

That is a terrible way to treat your ink.


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I'm not getting drunk off the evil in this thread, but it is giving me a nice little buzz. More, yeeesssss.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

Hmmm... suggestions for the DragonCon office revamp... swashbucklers. Lots of them. Make our wishes known! Also, replace all Pathfinder RPG books (there don't seem to be many, actually) with (pick your favourite other system).

And last but not least, put a small piece of masking tape over the light of his optical mouse. Oh, and does Ctrl+Alt+Up still invert a monitor? That could be worth a second or two of confusion.


Blutack all the pens to the ceiling.

These will probably get you sacked so I don't recommend them.

Glad-wrap (cling wrap, cling film, sandwich wrap not sure what you guys call it) the toilet bowl.

If the toilet seat is black rub it down with Vegemite (you can use black boot polish).

If the toilet seat is white Vaseline is best to use...

Vaseline is also fun on door handles.

Contributor

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Cassidy Werner wrote:

Not cave raptors, but the creeping crud. I didn't even go to Gen Con!

Behold the result of our scheming.

I laughed for a good five minutes at this. At 1 in the morning. Loudly.

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