Overheard at the Paizo office


Off-Topic Discussions

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Master of Coin

6 people marked this as a favorite.

Redacted: Yeah, I used to take shots of vinegar as a kid.

Money Chris: ...that explains so much.

Redacted: The penchant for stabbing comes from the goblin side of the family.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Diego Valdez wrote:
I WILL answer all the things, and the answers will be vague and sort of wise sounding, but not helpful at all!

Do you have a son named Calvin who carries around a stuffed tiger?


Ashley Kaprielian wrote:
Readerbreeder wrote:
Katina Mathieson wrote:
Ashley: fake spiders are a great way to get a place accidentally burnt down
My three daughters would agree with you; in fact, for them anything with more than four legs is adequate cause for arsonous behavior. How do you get someone to stop being terrified of something 1/10,000 your size?
For me it took having a husband that wants nothing to do with spiders. Someone has to get the buggers out of the house. Granted by "get them out of the house" I mean "squish with the biggest shoe I can find and scrape the remains off on the cement outside," but hey, THEY were the ones who went behind enemy lines.

If they wear uniforms you are supposed to treat them as Prisoners Of War!

There are conventions for that.

Dark Archive Software Developer

6 people marked this as a favorite.

We only care about conventions in the summer. The rest of the time, the majority of the company pretends they don't exist.

Dark Archive Software Developer

3 people marked this as a favorite.

Money Chris: It's the most girly of drinks.
Me: Wouldn't that be pumpkin spice?
Money Chris: That would be the the white girliest.
Ashley: I'd drink that. I am the most basic of b@&%*es.


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Rulebook, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber
Mythic JMD031 wrote:
Diego needs a cool title like the rest of customer service.

Customer Services Fortune Cookie?


Christopher Anthony wrote:

Money Chris: It's the most girly of drinks.

Me: Wouldn't that be pumpkin spice?
Money Chris: That would be the the white girliest.
Ashley: I'd drink that. I am the most basic of b@*$$es.

Hey. Pumpkin spice almonds are delicious.

Dark Archive Software Developer

5 people marked this as a favorite.

Ashley: stop pooping on dead people, Cosmo

Customer Service Ray of Funshine

4 people marked this as a favorite.

Katina: it's like Jenga with knives

Customer Service Ray of Funshine

5 people marked this as a favorite.

completely unrelated to the above statement.

Katina: P.S. I don't *think* you launched Skynet, but if I was being held captive by robots, that's exactly what they'd want me to tell you.

Paizo Employee Customer Service She-Hulk

7 people marked this as a favorite.

Sara Marie: Hey, have you guys seen Bob's Burgers?
All 3 CS reps, in unison: Yes.
Sara Marie: I... wow. I hired three awesome people.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

1 person marked this as a favorite.

qa erik: its okay, our system can handle this

qa erik: it'll be like a leaf on the wind

robot chris: don’t jinx it Erik

robot chris: because it’s occult adventures?

robot chris: ha?


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Sara Marie wrote:
qa erik: it'll be like a leaf on the wind

"Joey Erik, do you like movies about gladiators surprise grappling hooks?" [/Captain Oveur]

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

18 people marked this as a favorite.

sara marie: who would be the pathfinder diety of customer service?

cosmo: Hi!

katina: oh god, not like this.

cosmo: Oh yes.

ashley: this sounds like the exalted game im playing. poor priests were actually worshiping a demon instead of the god they thought they were.

...

liz: Until you start granting spells Cosmo, you are not a god

liz: Your chaotic aura does not count.

cosmo: What makes you think I do not grant spells?

ashley: spells not smells

cosmo: you say tomato, i say DESECRATE


5 people marked this as a favorite.

IA!! IA!!!!

Silver Crusade

5 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber
Sara Marie wrote:

sara marie: who would be the pathfinder diety of customer service?

cosmo: Hi!

katina: oh god, not like this.

cosmo: Oh yes.

ashley: this sounds like the exalted game im playing. poor priests were actually worshiping a demon instead of the god they thought they were.

...

liz: Until you start granting spells Cosmo, you are not a god

liz: Your chaotic aura does not count.

cosmo: What makes you think I do not grant spells?

ashley: spells not smells

cosmo: you say tomato, i say DESECRATE

Do any of the rest of you have a forum dedicated to the sole purpose of pouring all the hate and misery into one being? Nooooo.....


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Rysky wrote:
Sara Marie wrote:
[stuff]
Do any of the rest of you have a forum dedicated to returning all the hate and misery to one being? Nooooo.....

Fixed.

Dark Archive Software Developer

16 people marked this as a favorite.
Rysky wrote:
Do any of the rest of you have a forum dedicated to the sole purpose of pouring all the hate and misery into one being? Nooooo.....

That sounds like... *sunglasses* Rysky business.

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Silver Crusade

8 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber
Christopher Anthony wrote:
Rysky wrote:
Do any of the rest of you have a forum dedicated to the sole purpose of pouring all the hate and misery into one being? Nooooo.....

That sounds like... *sunglasses* Rysky business.

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I am completely at a loss atm on whether I should feel amused or offended that I was used as a Pun...

Paizo Employee Quality Assurance Axiomite

16 people marked this as a favorite.
Christopher Anthony wrote:
Rysky wrote:
Do any of the rest of you have a forum dedicated to the sole purpose of pouring all the hate and misery into one being? Nooooo.....

That sounds like... *sunglasses* Rysky business.

YEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

That was such a killer user name joke, it was nearly a kaMikaze!

The Exchange

2 people marked this as a favorite.

BA DUM TISH!!

Dark Archive Software Developer

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Winslow: The rage is real.

Paizo Employee Lead Designer

7 people marked this as a favorite.

James Jacobs: What skill check would you make to hide a body?

Silver Crusade

12 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure, Adventure Path, Companion, Lost Omens, Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber
Jason Bulmahn wrote:
James Jacobs: What skill check would you make to hide a body?

Profession (Cook)


Jason Bulmahn wrote:
James Jacobs: What skill check would you make to hide a body?

Profession(Pig Farmer)

Those pigs will eat anything....
Even the evidence

Webstore Gninja Minion

5 people marked this as a favorite.

Cosmo: His coffee gained sentience and began berating him on the dangers of diabetes.

Project Manager

1 person marked this as a favorite.

Judy: I guess I have to drink coffee from a jar, like a hobo.

Master of Coin

3 people marked this as a favorite.
Liz Courts wrote:
Cosmo: His coffee gained sentience and began berating him on the dangers of diabetes.

Oh, come on. I don't make it *that* sweet.


1 person marked this as a favorite.
Jason Bulmahn wrote:
James Jacobs: What skill check would you make to hide a body?

Just ask Anna.

Webstore Gninja Minion

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Chris Self wrote:
Liz Courts wrote:
Cosmo: His coffee gained sentience and began berating him on the dangers of diabetes.
Oh, come on. I don't make it *that* sweet.

Lies.

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

Other Paizonians, is this roughly how sweet Coin Chris makes the coffee?


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Liz Courts wrote:
Chris Self wrote:
Liz Courts wrote:
Cosmo: His coffee gained sentience and began berating him on the dangers of diabetes.
Oh, come on. I don't make it *that* sweet.
Lies.

I'm surprised no one has made a Lying Cat alias yet. P.S. Saga is really really good.

Shadow Lodge

2 people marked this as a favorite.
Liz Courts wrote:
Cosmo: His coffee gained sentience and began berating him on the dangers of diabetes.

Friendly Coffee just has your best interests at heart.


8 people marked this as a favorite.
Paizo Superscriber; Pathfinder Companion, Pathfinder Accessories, PF Special Edition, Starfinder Accessories, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber

"It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion. It is by the beans of Java that thoughts acquire speed, the hands acquire shakes, the shakes become a warning. It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion."

Paizo Employee Developer

6 people marked this as a favorite.
Eric the Kitten-Bee wrote:
Liz Courts wrote:
Chris Self wrote:
Liz Courts wrote:
Cosmo: His coffee gained sentience and began berating him on the dangers of diabetes.
Oh, come on. I don't make it *that* sweet.
Lies.
I'm surprised no one has made a Lying Cat alias yet. P.S. Saga is really really good.

I will shamelessly admit that part of the inspiration for the sin seeker (written and designed by Jerome Virnich) was Lying Cat.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

6 people marked this as a favorite.

cort: Seems somehow appropriate that ISSUE-666 should be created on Halloween.

Webstore Gninja Minion

5 people marked this as a favorite.

Cosmo: Did... did Master Chief just walk by my office?

Dark Archive Software Developer

4 people marked this as a favorite.

Robot Chris: there's gonna be tasty things
Robot Chris: like 5 people
Robot Chris: that's almost a kindergarten class if you account for mass
...
Robot Chris: I’m finding eery hannibal related decisions in my life lately

Paizo Glitterati Robot

11 people marked this as a favorite.

Me, Myself, Just Now I don’t want to eat people. That is a scientific objective fact.

^ for clarity

Dark Archive Software Developer

More of a ceaseless compulsion, then? Involuntary acts brought about by a gnawing need somewhere deep inside?

I think you may have succumbed to the ghoul fever going around the office.

Webstore Gninja Minion

5 people marked this as a favorite.
Christopher Anthony wrote:
I think you may have succumbed to the ghoul fever going around the office.

Something something longpork.

...Who wants carnitas?


Pinkeye!

Webstore Gninja Minion

2 people marked this as a favorite.

Me: So a pirate and a dinosaur walk into Paizo...
Katina: Stop me if you've heard this one before!


Now I'm hungry again..


Katina Mathieson wrote:
Sara Marie: Hey, have you guys seen Bob's Burgers?

Is that a euphemism?

Shadow Lodge

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Chris Lambertz wrote:

Me, Myself, Just Now I don’t want to eat people. That is a scientific objective fact.

^ for clarity

Your avatar says otherwise.

Webstore Gninja Minion

6 people marked this as a favorite.

Gary: Why is this dinosaur sticky?


Pathfinder Adventure Path, Lost Omens, Rulebook Subscriber

I'm sure you really don't want to know.

Scarab Sages

When you're a dinosaur, you have to keep both eyes on pirates at all times.

Paizo Employee Customer Service Dire Care Bear Manager

10 people marked this as a favorite.

robot chris: we have asserted that Cosmo is *technically* human

QA Erik: aberrant bloodline iirc

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