Goblin

Gufi's page

203 posts. Alias of Dave Young 992.



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This is actually funny, just like the original.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uXJF-sJsVwI


I was a fan of the original. I recently went back to giggle at the humor, and found that Wes is making them again.
www.youtube.com/@creativejuices7th


It's time for all of us to accept the fact that we're not going to survive the mass extinction that's already underway. Humans will not survive another century.

Unless a billionaire has a plan to live underground for millennia, and conveniently decommissioned all nuclear plants and stored the waste safely, humans are already extinct.

Yes, we did it to ourselves.

I'm sorry, too.

I've been screaming about this since the 80's. No one gave a f@%% then, and no one does, now.

We're going extinct. We need to deal with that fact.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

That quick. Some adult language.

A lot of people are very affected by the activity going on now.

It must be discussed. Everywhere. No one is immune.

If you don't like the thread, don't click on it. No one's being mean.

We have no time for mean.


4 people marked this as a favorite.

"Combining all of these facts, we have a fairly clear picture in play.

Trump was, indeed, perfectly honest during the campaign; he intends to do everything he said, and more. This should not be reassuring to you.

The regime’s main organizational goal right now is to transfer all effective power to a tight inner circle, eliminating any possible checks from either the Federal bureaucracy, Congress, or the Courts. Departments are being reorganized or purged to effect this.

The inner circle is actively probing the means by which they can seize unchallenged power; yesterday’s moves should be read as the first part of that.

The aims of crushing various groups — Muslims, Latinos, the black and trans communities, academics, the press — are very much primary aims of the regime, and are likely to be acted on with much greater speed than was earlier suspected. The secondary aim of personal enrichment is also very much in play, and clever people will find ways to play these two goals off each other."

Link.

Or is it not okay to talk about it?


Who's seen it? I find it quite amusing.

I first noticed Rachel Bloom in this hilarious youtube song.

I figured she'd hit it big. She won a Golden Globe, already.

It's the funniest show on right now, IMO.


We're looking for a skill-oriented goblin to replace Joboo.

8th level, 27 pt. buy. Standard treasure.

He was a ninja, but any comparable type, such as a slayer or ranger would be fine, too. A skill guy, but a decent flanker/fighter, also. You'll be playing with Bucko, Reta and Velag. They're insane.

We're continuing Goblins 2, which was pretty raunchy. If you like to play rude, crude, and just plain silly characters, show us what you've got!

More than anything, consistency counts. If you play, post regularly.


King of Goblins *MAP*

Four goblins walk into a bar...


King of Goblins *MAP*

Bucko, Joboo, Reta and Velag took some time off from their adventures, but now new challenges await.

I haven't heard back from Tark, but if he wants to join in, that's fine.

That's right, gobbies. We're puttin' the band back together!

Sign in to this discussion thread, and we'll discuss your ideas for some fun adventures at 8th level.

I'm presuming you're all about halfway to 9th, so you can have gear worth 39,500 gp. If you want to change some stuff around, feel free.

Our old game can be seen here, if you want to see where things were at.


I don't have any of those books anymore. I can download some of them, though.

If someone were to offer to DM such a game, I'd make a character. Anyone else?

It was a fun game, back in the day.


PF with tweaked versions of adept, expert and warrior classes. Caveman primitive. We have 2 warriors and 2 shaman (adepts).

An expert and a warrior would really round it out. Would you check in often and keep posting?

Pathfinder Primitive Rules:2 traits, 20pt. buy. No evil alignments. Start at 3rd level.

Races allowed: Human, Half Elf, Half Orc, Halfling

Races:
]The other PC races exist, but are not generally friendly to humans. You may meet elves, dwarves, etc., but like any tribal group in these dangerous lands, they aren't very trusting of strangers. Note that gnomes have not yet left the 1st world, so you're not likely to see one.

Half elves are rare, though not unheard of. Whether raised by humans or elves, they are often rejected by their tribes when they reach adulthood, or leave on their own due to feeling like they don't “fit in,” and strike out on their own to find their place in the world.

Half elves may choose two extra racial traits that fit their background.

Half orcs are less rare, but due to their fearsome appearance and traumatic conception, they are often killed at birth by human tribes. Among orc tribes, they are often abused due to their smaller size and greater intellect, and leave their tribes in search of a better life.

Half orcs are proficient with greataxes and greatclubs, They receive the Toothy racial trait, and one other racial trait that fits their background.

Halflings enjoy tight-knit tribal and family relations, though some fall afoul of strict taboos, and are sometimes rejected for being too different. They are faster than their descendants, since they don't live as luxuriously, and have plenty more things to run away from than modern halflings.

Halflings have low-light vision. They are proficient with the halfling sling staff. They are naturally nimble, and receive a +2 racial bonus to Stealth and Sleight of Hand checks. They gain the Fleet of Foot racial trait, and one other racial trait that fits their background.

Humans exhibit all the ambition and variety found in modern humans. While they are not yet close to being the dominant race they will eventually become on the surface world, they're already on the rise.

Humans may choose two extra racial traits that fit their backgrounds.

Note that some racial traits don't make sense in this caveman setting. Drow-related traits, for example, won't work, since drow don't yet exist.


Classes allowed: Adept, Expert, Warrior.

All characters have climb, knowledge (nature), perception, ride, survival and swim as class skills. You live off the land, so these things are natural to you.

All characters are proficient with simple weapons that can be made without metal, atlatls, all thrown weapons, and short bows. Crossbows don't exist.

Classes:
Shamans (Adepts) are as written, with the following changes:

Shamans (like magic itself,) are rare and unique in this world. You must have a minimum of 15 wisdom and 13 intelligence to take a level of shaman.

Shamans gain the Brew Potion feat at 3rd level, and bonus metamagic or item creation feats at 5th, 10th, 15th and 20th levels, as wizards.

Shamans gain 0 level spells per day as sorcerers. A 4th level shaman can prepare 6 orisons per day, rather than 3.

Several spells have been added to the adept's spell list, so take note:

0 Level: acid splash, create water, detect magic, detect poison, ghost sound, guidance, light, mending, message,  purify food and drink, read magic, resistance, stabilize, touch of fatigue, spark. 15

1st Level: bless, burning hands, cause fear, command, comprehend languages, cure light wounds, detect chaos, detect evil, detect good, detect law, endure elements, goodberry,  obscuring mist, protection from chaos, protection from evil, protection from good, protection from law, shield of faith, sleep, snowball, speak with animals, vanish. 22
2nd Level: aid, animal trance, augury, bear's endurance, bull's strength, cat's grace, cure moderate wounds, darkness, delay poison, gentle repose, invisibility, mirror image, resist energy, remove paralysis, restoration, lesser,  scorching ray, see invisibility, speak with plants, spider climb, web. 21
3rd Level: animate dead, bestow curse, contagion, continual flame, cure serious wounds, daylight, deeper darkness, dispel magic, lightning bolt, neutralize poison, plant growth, remove blindness/deafness,  remove curse, remove disease, searing light, stone shape, tongues, water breathing. 18
4th Level: air walk, cone of cold, commune with nature, cure critical wounds, cure light wounds, mass, divination, invisibility, greater, minor creation, polymorph, restoration, scrying,  sending, stoneskin, wall of fire, wall of ice, wall of thorns. 16
5th Level: baleful polymorph, break enchantment, breath of life, chain lightning,  cleanse, commune, cure moderate wounds, mass, find the path,  heal, major creation, raise dead, stone tell, tree stride, true seeing, wall of stone. 15

Their spells per day have been increased, also:

Shm 0 1 2 3 4 5 
1st: 3 1 
2nd: 4 1 
3rd: 5 2 
4th: 6 2 0 
5th: 6 2 1 
6th: 6 2 1 0 
7th: 6 3 1 0 
8th: 6 3 2 1 0 
9th: 6 3 2 1 0 
10th 6 3 2 2 0 0 
11th 6 3 3 2 0 0 
12th 6 4 3 3 1 0 
13th 6 4 3 2 1 0 
14th 6 4 3 3 2 1 
15th 6 4 3 3 2 1 
16th 6 4 4 3 2 2 
17th 6 4 4 3 3 2 
18th 6 4 4 4 3 3 
19th 6 4 4 4 4 3 
20th 6 4 4 4 4 4

Experts are as written, but they gain Rogue talents as a rogue of their level, and may choose 4 traits at 1st level, on top of any racial traits they gain. They gain sneak attack as a rogue of their level. I'm not trying to force them to try to be like rogues (your concept may be very different), just more fun in combat.

Warriors are as written, but gain d12 hit dice. They are proficient with martial weapons not made of metal, medium armor not made of metal and wooden shields. They gain the Track ability (like Rangers), and can choose fighter-only feats, and begin play with Weapon Focus as a bonus feat. They also receive Endurance as a bonus feat at 4th level. Acrobatics is a class skill for warriors.

Warriors also get rage powers at 1st, 4th, and every 3 levels after that. Since they don't rage, the powers work as described for combat and “high alert” situations. Again, this is just to help your warrior be a little different from all the other warriors, and add a little fun.

Adepts start play with 70 gp worth of stuff and a complete healer's kit.
Experts get 140 gp worth of stuff and a masterwork item of their choice.
Warriors get 175 gp worth of stuff, and a masterwork item of their choice.

Be aware that some items can't be made in a primitive setting. There are no complex locks, though some wood or stone tools can still be used to disarm traps.[/spoiler]

Location, location, location:
The Pariah Mountains are hot in the summer, cold in the winter, and due to their location, get much less rainfall than other areas closer to the seas, or further inland.

It's sparsely populated, and not a place anyone would go to visit. That's where you live.

As long as anyone can remember, these mountains have been the destination of outcasts; people who, for whatever reasons, were ejected from their tribes. Some were criminals, some were crazy, and some just weren't liked by somebody with the wherewithal to have them exiled. It's a sort of penal colony for area tribes. Exiles are branded with their tribe's symbol, and are uniformly despised by any people they encounter. It's a death sentence, if you aren't strong enough to survive.

Many people sent to the mountains never make it. There are a lot of dangers here, and dangers in every direction leaving here. Along with the mistrusting and often cruel humans who live here, there are tribes of even meaner humanoids who eat whatever they can find, and think you look delicious.

Pariahs who aren't completely insane band together in small groups for mutual protection. They wander the valleys, scavenging whatever edibles can be found, and hunting what little over-hunted game is left, and, sometimes, fight for their lives.

If you're competent, you don't starve, but you don't really ever get fat, either. If the game lasts awhile, you will be able to visit other regions.


Weapons and Armor:
Since metallurgy has yet to be developed, weapons and armor are considered to be made of materials other than metal. There are no swords, but axes, spears, clubs, daggers, etc. can be made of other materials, like in Dark Sun.

For convenience (and because I don't want to bother with damage penalties, breakage, etc.), we'll use the weapons as listed in the CRB. A morningstar is a club with spikes. An axe is made from stone, onyx, or dinosaur bone, and scraped on a rock until it's sharp. Making weapons isn't that hard, but it takes time.

Armor, again, is made from other materials. You can make or acquire armor using various hides, the epitome being dragon scale armor, which can equal chainmail or a breastplate. It's not easy for NPC-classed people to take down a dragon, so it's very rare.


Magic before, you know, Magic:
The gods, for whatever reasons, aren't involved enough with early humanity to care about having churches, clerics, druids, etc. The only humanoid spellcasters you'll find are shamans, who may worship a specific god, or a more generalized idea of the divine.

Dragons and other creatures can sometimes cast spells not on the shaman's spell list. Their connection to magic is more developed than humanoids have yet to attain. Creatures with spell-like abilities can use them as written.

Many monsters have DR/whatever. Since you won't have things like cold iron or adamantine, it's not fair of me to make you face things you can't really hurt. I'll adjust things to keep it fair. Expect more DR/slashing, piercing, etc. if that's the case.

Magic items can be won, found or created. There won't be many, but I'll try to make sure you have stuff that works for you. A shaman can make potions, but she has no money to make them with. She acquires the necessary materials (assuming she can find them,) and brewing it takes her a day. Done.

Money:
Doesn't exist, as such. Living as nomadic primitives, you have no use for coins, anyway. Treasure takes the form of things that are useful to your lifestyle. You can trade pretty baubles for things, but most trade is in food, furs, weapons, and things brought from far away, like oranges and such.

A potion of CLW is extremely valuable. Considering how badly someone may need it, and what they can offer, they might offer you a horse, or a nice meal and a place to stay, or their firstborn. I can't be exact, but that's what roleplaying is for. I'll try to make sure you have what you need to have a good time.


Trailer

John Malkovich as Blackbeard? Yes, please! Being John Malkovich looks pretty cool, about now.

Premieres Friday. I hope it's on Hulu.


King of Goblins *MAP*

Hopefully, you've all had time to look over your characters and tweak them to your liking. So, once Blask, Gurk, Mourntel, R'kellor, Kraull and Krejka are signed in, I'll take a last look at them and we'll begin.

Timewise, I'm in the US on EDT, so it's GMT -4 here; about 7:30 AM as I type. Wherever you are in the world, I hope you will check in every day and participate. Reach deep into your character and find your inner caveman (or cavewoman)!

Let's get primitive!


King of Goblins *MAP*

Discussion thread is open.


I was inspired by this thread, which hasn't resulted in a game, to offer this chance to play a primitive game using slightly modified NPC classes.

A game set in the primal past, in the Age of Serpents, when life was a constant struggle, and magic was extremely rare.

Pathfinder Primitive Rules:
2 traits, 20pt. buy. No evil alignments. Start at 3rd level. Hit points: Max, plus 1/2+1 per level, or, you can roll.

Races allowed: Human, Half Elf, Half Orc, Halfling

The other PC races exist, but are not generally friendly to humans. You may meet elves, dwarves, etc., but like any tribal group in these dangerous lands, they aren't very trusting of strangers.

Since falchions don't exist, half orcs are instead proficient with great clubs.

Classes allowed: Adept, Expert, Warrior.

All characters have climb, knowledge (nature), perception, ride, survival and swim as class skills. You live off the land, so these things are natural to you.

All characters are proficient with simple weapons that can be made without metal, and short bows. Crossbows don't exist.

Adepts are as written, with the following changes:

Adepts (like magic itself,) are rare and unique in this world. You must have a minimum of 15 wisdom and 14 intelligence to take a level of adept.

Adepts gain the Brew Potion feat at 3rd level, and bonus metamagic or item creation feats at 5th, 10th, 15th and 20th levels, as wizards.

Adepts gain 0 level spells per day as oracles. A 4th level adept can prepare 6 orisons per day, rather than 3.

The following spells are added to the adept's spell list:

0: Acid Splash, Detect Poison, Message, Spark
1: Goodberry, Shield of Faith, Snowball, Vanish
2: Spider Climb, Remove Paralysis, Restoration, Lesser
3: Quench, Remove Blindness/Deafness, Searing Light, Water Breathing
4: Air Walk, Restoration, Scrying
5: Breath of Life, Tree Stride, Wall of Fire, Wall of Thorns

Experts are as written, but they gain Rogue talents as a rogue of ½ their level, and may choose 4 traits at 1st level. They gain 1d6 sneak attack at 1st, 4th, and every 4 levels after that. I'm not trying to force them to try to be like rogues (your concept may be very different), just more fun in combat.

Warriors are as written, but gain d12 hit dice. They are proficient with medium armor (not made of metal) and wooden shields. They gain the Track ability (like Rangers), and can choose fighter-only feats, and begin play with Weapon Focus as a bonus feat.

Warriors also get rage powers at 1st, 4th, and every 4 levels after that. Since they don't rage, the powers work as described for combat and “high alert” situations. Again, this is just to help your warrior be a little different from all the other warriors, and add a little fun.

Adepts start play with 70 gp worth of stuff and a complete healer's kit.
Experts get 140 gp worth of stuff and a masterwork item of their choice.
Warriors get 175 gp worth of stuff, and a masterwork item of their choice.
Be aware that some items can't be made in a primitive setting. There are no complex locks, though some wood or stone tools can still be used to disarm traps.


Location, location, location:
The Pariah Mountains are hot in the summer, cold in the winter, and due to their location, get much less rainfall than other areas closer to the seas, or further inland.

It's sparsely populated, and not a place anyone would go to visit. That's where you live.

As long as anyone can remember, these mountains have been the destination of outcasts; people who, for whatever reasons, were ejected from their tribes. Some were criminals, some were crazy, and some just weren't liked by somebody with the wherewithal to have them exiled. It's a sort of penal colony for area tribes. Exiles are branded with their tribe's symbol, and are uniformly despised by any people they encounter. It's a death sentence, if you aren't strong enough to survive.

Many people sent to the mountains never make it. There are a lot of dangers here, and dangers in every direction leaving here. Along with the mistrusting and often cruel humans who live here, there are tribes of even meaner humanoids who eat whatever they can find, and think you look delicious.

Pariahs who aren't completely insane band together in small groups for mutual protection. They wander the valleys, scavenging whatever edibles can be found, and hunting what little over-hunted game is left, and, sometimes, fighting for their lives.

If you're competent, you don't starve, but you don't really ever get fat, either. If the game lasts awhile, you will be able to visit other regions.


Weapons and Armor:
Since metallurgy has yet to be developed, weapons and armor are considered to be made of materials other than metal. There are no swords, but axes, spears, clubs, daggers, etc. can be made of other materials, like in Dark Sun.

For convenience (and because I don't want to bother with damage penalties, breakage, etc.), we'll use the weapons as listed in the CRB. A morningstar is a club with spikes. An axe is made from stone, onyx, or dinosaur bone, and scraped on a rock until it's sharp. Making weapons isn't that hard, but it takes time.

Armor, again, is made from other materials. You can make or acquire armor using various hides, the epitome being dragon scale armor, which can equal chainmail or a breastplate. It's not easy for NPC-classed people to take down a dragon, so it's very rare. Warriors get a d12 to help compensate for their lower AC.


Magic before, you know, Magic:
The gods, for whatever reasons, aren't involved enough with early humanity to care about having churches, clerics, druids, etc. The only humanoid spellcasters you'll find are adepts, who may worship a specific god, or a more generalized idea of the divine.

Dragons and other creatures can sometimes cast sorcerer or divine spells. Their connection to magic is more developed than humanoids have yet to attain. Creatures with spell-like abilities can use them as written.

Many monsters have DR/whatever. Since you won't have things like cold iron or adamantine, it's not fair of me to make you face things you can't really hurt. I'll adjust things to keep it fair. Expect more DR/slashing, piercing, etc. if that's the case.

Magic items can be won, found or created. There won't be many, but I'll try to make sure you have stuff that works for you. An adept can make potions, but she has no money to make them with. She acquires the necessary materials (assuming she can find them,) and brewing it takes her a day. Done.

Money:
Doesn't exist, as such. Living as nomadic primitives, you have no use for coins, anyway. Treasure takes the form of things that are useful to your lifestyle. You can trade pretty baubles for things, but most trade is in food, furs, weapons, and things brought from far away, like oranges and such.

A potion of CLW is extremely valuable. Considering how badly someone may need it, and what they can offer, they might offer you a horse, or a nice meal and a place to stay, or their firstborn. I can't be exact, but that's what roleplaying is for. I'll try to make sure you have what you need to have a good time.


You:
Make your character, then explain why he's in exile. Keep it short. Take a look at what other people are making, and try to fill a needed niche. Multiclassing is allowed, but you have to meet the ability requirements to take levels in adept.

The Party:
I'd like to see 3 or 4 warriors, 2 experts, and 1 or 2 adepts . Adepts are weak spellcasters, but when they're the only spellcasters, they become important. That seems like a good party for what I'm thinking. You'll fight dinosaurs and monsters, not evil wizards. Combat heavy and magic light: The way it was, back in the day.


Who can forget that lizardman?

RIP, sir.


Anybody see it? I liked it.


Saw it on Hulu. Now I'm reading the web comic. Funny stuff!


How about a link to a bigger image?


To all my friends here on the boards and in RL who enjoy Paizo and Pathfinder, I wish you a happy holiday season, and a great 2013. I've enjoyed this site immensely, and learned a lot and laughed a lot reading through it.

That may sound corny, but I really mean it! Merry Christmahanukwanzaa!


It's certainly possible.

Even Thom Hartmann mentioned it.

Strange times we're living in!


Focus yields nothing but the sticky.


2 people marked this as a favorite.

I noticed, unless I didn't search right, that Community doesn't have its own thread beyond the DnD episode.

It's been mentioned in other threads, and I just thought it deserves its own. What a weird, wacky, enjoyable show. The first episode had me hopeful, and it just kept getting better from there.

It's like Firefly or Legend of the Seeker in that there's a loyal fanbase, but it just doesn't have the draw some cheaper shows seem to get. A 4th season is underway, so maybe we will get 6 seasons and a movie.

Who doesn't love Inspector Spacetime? This show is built on spoofs, and it hasn't gotten stale, for me. Long live the Greendale 7!


One of our players has bowed out, due to RL getting too busy. This campaign started with We Be Goblins and continued from there. We've been playing just over a year. I'm willing to play this as high as we want to go, as long as people still want to play.

Before you submit anything, please take a look at the campaign to get a sense of how the goblins interact, their playstyles, etc.

Goblins 2: The Wreckin'ing

Tark is the one leaving, and another frontline warrior type is strongly preferred. This game is a little on the goofy side, and the goblins are all crazy and crude, but with a tinge of humor to it all.

Look over the gameplay and campaign info, and if you think you'd like to play a bloodthirsty, zany goblin, please indicate your interest here.

They're good at what they do, and it's the little comments and asides that give them personality. There are a number of things specific to this game, and I'll go over it all with the selected candidate.

If nothing else, there are some giggles to be had reading this tale of utter weirdness.


7 people marked this as a favorite.

It's not entirely done, but here's the text. If anybody can help me format it more like the other guides, that would be a big help.

A Highly Regarded Expert's Guide to the Arcane Trickster

It's quite long, and geared somewhat to newer players.

Comments and constructive criticism welcome!


10 people marked this as a favorite.

Click "Favorite" here for Barack Obama-->


This is where we can discuss anything outside of the ongoing fray.

The best way to get in the game is to send a PM to myself, Mr. Swagger, LazarX, and hopefully a few other people willing to act as judges. Outline your character following the rules given in the gameplay thread, and once he's been looked over and given the OK, he can wait in line for his turn at the reigning champion.

This is just for fun, so let's just have some giggles watching mages kill each other in new and creative ways!


Welcome, people of Paizo, to the first of what we hope will be many battles of arcane might!

It's pretty simple: Put 2 mages in a box, and have them fight to the death.

If you would like to make a mage and fight, here are the rules:

Spoiler:
You begin play in opposite corners of a 100' x 100' flat, featureless cube. The surface is mown grass on firm, dry land. It's a sunny, cloudless day, with a light breeze at 72 degrees farenheit. You can move and teleport within the cube, but not outside of it. The cube further extends 50' down into the soil beneath you (so it's not really a cube. It's 100 x 100 x 150', 50' of it below ground. ). The boundaries are permanent walls of pure magic, impermeable as steel, created by the gods, and you can't dispel or otherwise escape them. Air moves through it normally, and all spells work as normal within the boundaries.

*10th level characters, single-classed as wizards or sorcerers. No multiclassing or prestige classes.
*Any race from the PHB.
*Everyone's alignment is true neutral.
*15 pt. buy. Two traits; one magic, one general. Feats, ability score increases and skill points as normal for your race/class/level.
*No stats above 18 or below 7 before racial and level adjustments.
*60 (max) hp before adjustments.
*You get the standard 62,000 gp. for a 10th level character, and can have any item or class spell listed in the PRD.
*You may have no items (such as scrolls) that contain spells higher than CL 10.
*No one item can be worth more than 16,000 gp.
*No partially-charged items.
*No crafting. Pay book retail for everything.
*You begin with your full daily roster of spells, and haven't cast ANY.
*You have nothing in your hands at the start of your first turn.
*Have a full list of all your feats, your gear, its cost and weight, and the spells you know or have prepared in all slots.

Both mages begin in opposite corners, aware of each other, and roll initiative. One of you MUST DIE. This is a "best 2 out of 3" match, so each mage will get to fight at least twice.

The winner will be immediately restored to full health and spells, and defend his champion status until he's defeated or gets bored with his awesome superiority. Any charged items used are also restored to full.

The loser will be dead. He (along with all his belongings) just disappears.

Our first contestants will be Wareagle, with his elven wizard, "Lenwe Sirfalas," and Mr. Swagger, with his human sorcerer, "Sir Blast-A-Lot."

I will roll initiative for both characters, and the bloody conflict will ensue. Good luck, mages!

Lenwe Sirfalas:

Spoiler:
1d20 + 18 ⇒ (6) + 18 = 24

Sir Blast-A-Lot:

Spoiler:
1d20 + 10 ⇒ (11) + 10 = 21

Lenwe will go first.

HERE IS THE MAP

ROUND 1!


Wizards and Sorcerers: Duel to the Death!

You begin play in opposite corners of a 100' x 100' flat, featureless cube. The surface is mown grass on firm, dry land. It's a sunny, cloudless day, with a light breeze at 72 degrees farenheit. You can move and teleport within the cube, but not outside of it. The cube further extends 50' down into the soil beneath you (so it's not really a cube. It's 100 x 100 x 150', 50' of it below ground. ). The boundaries are permanent walls of pure magic, hard as steel, created by a powerful god, and you can't dispel or otherwise escape them. Air moves through it normally, and all spells work as normal within the boundaries.

*10th level characters, single-classed as wizards or sorcerers. Any race from the PHB.
*Everyone is true Neutral. Alignment spells won't be much use. You can only escape by reducing your opponent to 0 - their con score hit points.
*15 pt. buy. Two traits; one magic, one general. Feats and skill points as normal for your race/class.
*No stats above 18 or below 7 before racial and level adjustments.
*40 hp before adjustments.
*You get the standard 62,000 gp. for a 10th level character, and can have any item or class spell listed in the PRD (for commonality and ease of reference).
*No one item can be worth more than 15,500 gp.
*No partially-charged items.
*No crafting. Pay book retail for everything.
*You begin with your full daily roster of spells, and haven't cast ANY.
*Have a full list of all your feats, your gear, its cost and weight, and the spells you know or have prepared in all slots.

Both mages begin in opposite corners, aware of each other, and roll initiative. One of you MUST DIE.

The winner will be immediately restored to full health and spells, and defend his champion status until he's defeated or gets bored with his awesome superiority. Any charged items used are also restored to full.

This is just for fun, not to prove anything. We are simply going to delight in brutal killings, like we used to.

The mage who gets initiative has a definite advantage, but is it enough to win? Do you cast offensively first, or do you buff?

We'll start with one wizard and one sorcerer, winner goes on until defeated. Post a build for peer review, then wait in line for your chance at death or glory. First come, first served. Defeated mages may not try again, though players who submit new mages can get in line again. If you don't show up for your turn, you'll be skipped.

Show us your mage-killing uber-death mage!

Here's the MAP.


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Just noticed it. I wuv woo, Paizo!


MAP

It took many months of careful and secretive planning to get the 6 of you involved, inculcated and initiated, but it happened. The Night Ravens are ready to do everything but hire criers and hang a shingle to advertise. There's a new gang in town, and for the first time, you're the “original gangsters.”

Rumors are everywhere, naturally, and come pretty cheap. Folks who cheat and steal are also known to lie, so news of a formidable new presence in Absalom alarms some, and bores others. Alliances come and go like ships in the harbor, leaving little to remember, so there's no telling what, if anything, is going on. That remains to be seen. And demonstrated.

The Happy Harpy is one of the Docks District's landmark taverns, run for nearly 50 years by an ornery dwarf named Brig Ironton, a former adventurer known for his strong arms and his accuracy with the pair of throwing axes always hanging from his belt. The tavern occupies the first floor of a 4-story tenement on the east side of the Dock District.

There is a small shrine to Gozreh in one corner, frequented by sailors and dockworkers alike, a grinning, stuffed harpy Brig reportedly killed himself, which hangs swooping from the ceiling, and enough cheap ale to keep his customers (mostly dockworkers and other working locals) drinking well into the night.

There are usually a few working girls, peddlers and cutpurses to be found in or near the place, now that the sun has gone down. The watch doesn't seem to come around the far east end of the Docks District too often, except to dispose of the mutilated bodies of victims of mostly-unsolved crimes, conveniently (and perhaps truthfully,) chalked up to undead or other horrors from the adjoining Precipice Quarter.

The place is fairly full, and some men stare at the female members of your troupe, but no one bothers you directly. The clientele are mostly human, with a few halflings thrown in.

Brig's wife, Dottie, along with a human barmaid, escorts you to the private back room, where Dottie sometimes performs harrowings for those with the coin during the day. They leave you all at a long table with mugs all around, a basket of bread, and three full pitchers of Brig's Bitter, and roll out with another cask for the bar.

Two measure for the room and all you can drink. If you need more, just call. You have the room for the entire evening, as far as I know, she says, and leaves you to your business. The Black Talons have some things to talk about, and perhaps some ambitious plans to hatch on an unsuspecting city.


MAP

A few things about this campaign:
(Some copied from the goblins thread)

Pretty much RAW. If it's in any shiny hardcover book with "Pathfinder Roleplaying Game" at the top, and the words "Ultimate," "Guide," or "Rulebook" at the bottom, it's probably okay to use here.

Other sources may be permitted on a test-case basis. I reserve the right to change things I don't like, but I'll discuss it with you first, and try to reach a solution that works for everyone.

I'm not using a published adventure. This is completely pulled out of my @$$, so comments, criticisms and suggestions are welcomed.

GM Goblin King's style of play:
As you may know, I roll real dice right here by the computer. I just like it that way. It lets me have more conversational, flowing posts if they're not punctuated with a lot of dice brackets and such. I do make critically important rolls ("This could kill Sidoze!") with the dice roller, just so you know I really am being impartial.

XP:
You can expect to level up very quickly, probably faster than the fast xp track, until we're around 6th or 7th level. Then, it'll be normal fast progression. I'm eager to see what higher-level gangster play will be like, and we've all played low levels more than any others...

PCs: (just so it's here in one spot)
3rd level, 25 pt. buy, 2 traits, at least one level must be in Rogue, with 4 ranks in stealth, and at least one in Bluff, Knowledge (local), and Sleight of Hand.

The arcane trickster and duelist prestige classes have been souped up to make them more powerful and fun to play. I'd encourage you to look at the changes and imagine the possibilities. You don't have to, though. Your characters are yours to build as you like, other than the above requirements.

Gameplay will start on or near Jan. 2. We have time to talk.

You can use this thread to discuss ideas and synergize your gang. I'll post more information as we get settled in, so grab a snifter of Varisian brandy, have a bowl of Jalmerayan pipeweed, and join us in plotting your ruthless and bloody ascent to power.


Gauging interest for a gangland/thieves' world campaign based in Absalom.

I'm just getting started, but here's the outline:

Start at 3rd level. 25 point buy, since there will only be 4 (maybe 5) of you, and you'll multiclass. Average hps (PFS rules). A straight rogue, for example, would have 18 hp before adjustments: 8+5+5.

2 traits, normal feats. I'm interested in concepts over numbers, to start.

4, possibly 5 players. I'd like the “traditional” roles to be reasonably covered: Arcane, divine, meatshield, and face/stealth/specialist/skillmonkey,” one way or another. There are many ways to do that.

One of your 3 levels must be in the rogue class. You must have 3 ranks in Stealth, and 1 rank in Bluff, Knowledge (local), and Sleight of Hand. Skills matter in the big city.

BAB will be determined by fractions, so levels in rogue won't hurt you too much. Poor: .5, Medium: .75, Good: 1. So, if you took 2 levels of rogue and a level of bard, your BAB wouldn't suffer. It would be 2.25, same as a straight rogue or bard. You could take a level in either class, add .75, and have BAB 3 at 4th, same as the straight classes alone. A rogue/fighter/wizard would have .75+1+.5, for 2.25.

Core races only. No cavaliers, gunslingers, summoners, or oriental classes allowed. Lawful good characters are out, too, so obviously no paladins. Ranged weapons aren't generally allowed in town, so archery builds won't get to do their thing that easily or often. The leadership feat, if we reach 7th, is not allowed. Standard starting wealth (3000 gp).

Anything in PFRPG, APG, or ISWG is allowed. Feats, traits, spells, etc., from other sources may be allowed on a case-by-case basis. I reserve the right to remove or alter them after allowing them, with a fair discussion of options, if I decide it doesn't fit.

There are also some options for the more “urban” prestige classes, like duelist and arcane trickster, to make them a little more fun to play. Ask, if you're interested.

You will be young toughs trying to establish street cred, expand your fortunes, and exert influence to protect your interests in the mean streets of the city at the center of the world. Guide to Absalom is strongly recommended reading, though it's not canon in itself.

Lots of role play, but I like lots of fighting and intrigue, too. I don't like PvP, though. You need to be loyal enough to get your gang established, and we all know what happens to traitors.

You'll be doing a lot in the city, but you'll go other places, too. Sometimes, maybe, by yourself.

Players should post daily. More is better. Weekends aren't mandatory, but encouraged. So, think up an interesting urban troublemaker, and tell me a little about her or him. Not too long, please.

I'm undecided as to whether you'd want gang wars for turf and such, or more specialized robbery capers, or some sort of mix. Alignments would veer toward chaotic, but I'm uneasy with a purely evil group. You might have some code of honor, and I'd like you to be likable in some ways, in a "bad guys who sometimes do good things" sort of way.

We won't start until January, so take your time. If you've tried to get into PbPs here before, but haven't managed to, you'll be given special consideration. More later.


Big as they can be, it seems dragons don't swallow you whole. I suppose they like to peel you gently out of your armor to savor your soft, gooey center and crunchy limbs. They swallow people whole in the movies, but not in PF.

Other monsters do just down you in one gulp. I find it hilariously funny when adventurers go sliding down a gaping gullet. It's something every character should experience in their career. Problem is, there don't seem to be that many monsters that have the "swallow whole" ability.

Is there a list? Can you help me make one? I'd hate for my players to miss out on the fun of being inside a purple worm, or some other creature that says "I want ya in mah belly!" wondering why they didn't bring a light slashing or piercing weapon.

Purple worm
Behir
What else?


Are the protestors on the right track? Are they mad at the right people? Is the media ignoring the event?


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As a former teacher, and aficionado of all things related to the English language, I proffer this thread in the hopes of helping us all to become better users of the lingua franca used on this site.

This is not an effort to berate, but to educate. All useful contributions are welcome.

There: location. The cat is there.

Their: belonging to them. That's their cat.

They're: contraction of They + Are. They're playing with the cat.

Put it all together now!

They're there with their cat. A useful sentence to help you remember!

More later. I gotta rewatch "Sons of Anarchy."

I love you guys...


So if you're tired of not getting into any games around here, you're guaranteed a spot in this one.

Rules: You start at 1st level with no gold, and a 32 point buy. You may have nothing but a broken stick. Any of the standard PC races in the PFRPG are acceptable.

Post your characters here, and once we've got some promising players, we'll begin. Good luck!


It's been years since I last looked in any of the older edition books. Not sure what happened to mine (or all my cassettes, either), but I ran across this blast from the past:

Harlot encounters can be with brazen strumpets or haughty courtesans, thus making it difficult for the party to distinguish each encounter for what it is. (In fact, the encounter could be with a dancer only prostituting herself as it pleases her, an elderly madam, or even a pimp.) In addition to the offering of the usual fare, the harlot is 30% likely to know valuable information, 15% likely to make something up in order to gain a reward, and 20% likely to be, or with, a thief. You may find it useful to use the sub-table below to see which sort of harlot encounter takes place:

00 – 10 Slovenly trull
11 – 25 Brazen strumpet
26 – 35 Cheap trollop
36 – 50 Typical streetwalker
51 – 65 Saucy tart
66 – 75 Wanton wench
76 – 85 Expensive doxy
86 – 90 Haughty courtesan
91 – 92 Aged madam
93 – 94 Wealthy procuress
95 – 98 Sly pimp
99 – 00 Rich panderer

An expensive doxy will resemble a gentlewoman, a haughty courtesan a noblewoman, the other harlots might be mistaken for goodwives and so forth.
------------
This always got a laugh back in the day. Apologies to those who still have their old books, but I hadn't seen it in a long time.

So, to my question: What are the stat differences between a wanton wench and an expensive doxy? Anyone converted it to PF?


I'll list a few I like to get started. Community, Louie, Archer, Wilfred. There are others, but those always have some good laughs for me.

What do my fellow gamers watch for laughs?

I'm finding myself at home more than ever before (long story), so if you know of any good comedy shows I may not know about, post it up!


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King of Goblins *MAP*

Convenient link to OOC thread, for OOC-type stuff!

It's been 2 weeks since your routing of Vorka the cannibal. Early-early spring is giving way to early spring, and with it, the usual threats begin to emerge from the forest, hungry for Licktoads.

Your celebrity seems to have waned. As life in the village goes on, goblins, with their short memories, seem to have forgotten your life-risking heroism, your derring-do, your "charasma."

Now, the mundane is again the norm. Goblins hunt and gather, get distracted by the weirdest things, and practice their psychotic ways on all and sundry. The weaponworks which keeps your tribe in good stead is busy cranking out reliable dogslicers and other items for whoever can trade for them, and business is brisk. Thanks to you, all is well in Licktoad Village.

Yet, though you've been of inestimable service, you've forgotten, too. Each day brings little challenge, and past glories fade quickly in the warped minds of wicked goblins.

Tark, strolling through the woods with his fine earthbreaker, was gathering mushrooms, when the urge to bash overcame him. He swiftly destroyed the 'shrooms, along with the basket he carried them in, shattered some rocks, then pounded an anthill until he was covered in them. Finally, the painful biting of the flying ants brought him out of it. What was this feeling he was feeling (besides the pain of ant bites)?

Klepy? What you call it when there's nothing fun to do? And where my hammer?

Klepy was hunched over, staring at the hammer he'd pulled out of Tark's belt, entranced by the shiny. His basket had almost no mushrooms in it, he'd been so distracted.

Klepy forgotteds. Thassa good question, Tark. Mebee we aks Bucko or Velag. They smarts!

And so Tark took his hammer back, and the 2 clinical psychopaths went to find their friends, to ask them what the feeling was called when you had nothing fun to do.

They encountered Velag on their way back to the village. He was busy casting acid splash on every bug that flew by, and though his aim was improved, it just wasn't much of a challenge any more. They just didn't dissolve with the same panache as they once did.

Velag knew exactly what they were talking about, but couldn't remember the word, either.

Less ask Bucko! He know lotsa words, and he don't write 'em down! Velag chirped, and joined his friends to look for the witch.

They found Bucko in the middle of the village, drinking the last of the whiskey they'd found in Vorka's ship, and a little tipsy. He'd putrefied so much food in the last few weeks, the other goblins kept away from him, lest their food be spoiled, too.

Ah can'n'remember. Dis hooch gone straight to mah haid! the little spoiler hiccupped.

They conferred awhile, when Slorb suddenly walked by.

Hey, Slorb! What you call it when you feel like there nothing fun to do? they inquired, sort of in unison, but not.

Slorb know, came his answer. It called "patrol." You goblins come with me. We talk to His Mighty Girthness. He fix you good.

"Patrol?" Tark asked, mulling it over. That don't sound right...

With shrugs of their collective shoulders, the 4 goblins followed Slorb to the Chief's big hut. Surely, they would remember the word there.


This is the OOC thread for 4 goblins, whose unlikely heroism has brought them to 2nd level. Bucko, Klepy, Tark and Velag have become big heroes, and will now make the world suitable for rule by the mightiest race in all Golarion. None dare stand in their way!

Links:

Our previous We Be Goblins PbP

Original recruitment thread

Humans:

Spoiler:
You take 40d6 + 40 ⇒ (6, 2, 3, 5, 4, 6, 3, 5, 6, 6, 4, 1, 6, 3, 1, 6, 5, 2, 5, 1, 3, 5, 4, 1, 2, 1, 3, 4, 1, 3, 3, 5, 4, 2, 6, 3, 4, 4, 3, 3) + 40 = 184 damage, no save. You were a fool to come here. Didn't you read the sign?


This show may not be nerdgasmic, but I like it. What's not to like? It's a soap opera with Harleys and plenty of violence.

Recently rewatched seasons 1 and 2 on Netflix, and loved it. Ssn 3 was a little cheesy (Ireland? Really?), but I like any show where someone gets brutally killed every episode. Low standards, I guess.

I'm not a Harley guy. I ride a street-legal one of these. I'm a dual-sport kinda guy, but Harleys are ok in their own way.

Just wondered who else watches it among my fellow Paizonians. Ssn 4 is coming up. Think I'll watch it!


King of Goblins *MAP*

You are goblins of the Licktoad tribe, who live deep in Brinestump
Marsh, south of the hated man-town called Sandpoint. Once,
other goblins tried to burn Sandpoint down, and they would
have been legends if they had succeeded. But they didn’t bring
enough fire, and got themselves killed as a result.
Yesterday, your tribe discovered that one of your own had
been using forbidden arts and was engaged in one of the
greatest of taboos—writing things down. In fact, rumor holds
that what he was writing was a history of your tribe! There’s no
swifter way to bring about bad luck than stealing words out of
your mind by writing them down, and so your tribe had no
choice. You branded the goblin’s face with letters to punish
him, which is why everyone calls him Scribbleface now, and
then you ran him out of town, took all of his stuff, and burned
down his hut.
That’s where things got interesting, because before you all
burned down his hut, Chief Gutwad found a weird box within
the building. Inside was a map and a lot of fireworks—fireworks
that immediately came to use in burning the hut down. Then,
this morning, Gutwad announced that tonight there would
be a feast in order to drive out any lingering bad luck from
Scribbleface’s poor decisions. But perhaps even more exciting,
all of you have been secretly invited to meet at Chief Gutwad’s
Moot House. Why would the chief want to speak to you? It
can only mean that he’s got an important mission for
you all... one that the other goblins of the
tribe couldn’t pull off. This could
be your chance to go down in
Licktoad history!

You wonder if you can withstand the might of the words of His Mighty Girthness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad, since they are said to be enough to topple the greatest of goblins.
Slorb directs you to wait in front of the great Moot House, and sing the Song of the Licktoads in honor of your great chief.

And-a-one, and-a-2...

Goblins!
®
We be Lick toads! We make raid!
Put the longshanks to the blade!
Burn them up from feet to head,
Make them hurt, then make them dead!
Cut the parents into ham,
Smush the babies into jam,
All the rest in pot get stewed,
We be Lick toads - you be food!

Sign in, brave goblins. Each of you will sing his own song once in front of His Mighty Girthness, so it better be good! Goblins aren't particularly imaginative lyricists, but the general theme of any goblin's personal song doesn't vary much from the above.
Confirm your place, post a short personal song, and finish whatever final touches are left for your characters.

If you wish to fight and tussle amongst yourselves in the meantime, well, it's expected...

Somebody still has to make a saving throw, I think. XD

The Great Gutwad will address you Monday around 5:00 EST.
In game time, just a few minutes, so look sharp! LOL!


"We be Goblins" seems to be quite popular, so I've decided to run it as a PbP here. There's already a group running it, but there were a lot of applicants, so I'm sure I can find 4 (not 3, not 5, but 4) people who want to let their inner goblinliness shine!

Some caveats, addendums, and so forth:

Please be available to post at least once per weekday. Showing up is more important than anything else. I speak from experience. Miss a day, get replaced. Simple.

Please refrain from reading the adventure. If it isn't new to you, it won't be fun. If you already have, please find another game. By the same token, reading the already extant PbP thread for WBG, while funny, could also spoil things for you. Be funny in this game.

1st level goblins, 20 pt. buy (We be AWESOME Goblins!). Average starting gold, two traits. No abilities below 8, before adjustments.

Anything from PFRPG or the APG is fine. No lawful classes, and NO gunslingers. I'll want a "balanced" party, more or less, and I'm inclined to believe a goblin barbarian more than a goblin with the actual discipline and training of a real fighter, know what I mean? No, you probably don't. You're goblins.

You're all from the Licktoad tribe, and already know each other. That doesn't mean you have to like each other! Goblins iz nasty and fasty! Pranksy and stanksy! Stabby and grabby! Icksy and tricksy! Well, you know...

This is not some silly, free-for-all, wild activity. It's an actual AP that requires silly, free-for-all, wild activity.

Interested goblins may apply here. Briefly describe your nasty little self and which class you want to play, with some stats. I'll post my choices Saturday, and start the game Monday night, around 5:00 EST, playing weeknights until we're done.

I'll pop in later to answer any questions.


I was thinking about an NPC harrower to advise/accompany my PCs in an upcoming adventure, around 11th level (and possibly later around 17-18th) or so. I could use a more mundane character, but the harrower has a lot of flavor to it.

I'm inclined to build a sorcerer, but there are other classes that could work, too. Does anyone have a harrower they're using to good effect I could crib from? What would be your ultimate harrower?


I made a few simple tweaks.

* Good fort save. Frontliners get that in other classes. Why not the duelist?

* Add int. to AC AND damage. This idea came from another thread.

* Duelist levels stack with and count as fighter levels for qualifying for fighter bonus feats. He may take them at any appropriate feat level.

Too much? Not enough? I don't feel high...

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