Goblins 2: The Wreckin'-ing! (Inactive)

Game Master Dave Young 992

"We be Goblins" seems to be quite popular, so I've decided to run it as a PbP here. There's already a group running it, but there were a lot of applicants, so I'm sure I can find 4 (not 3, not 5, but 4) people who want to let their inner goblinliness shine!

Some caveats, addendums, and so forth:

Please be available to post at least once per weekday. Showing up is more important than anything else. I speak from experience. Miss a day, get replaced. Simple.

Please refrain from reading the adventure. If it isn't new to you, it won't be fun. If you already have, please find another game. By the same token, reading the already extant PbP thread for WBG, while funny, could also spoil things for you. Be funny in this game.

1st level goblins, 20 pt. buy (We be AWESOME Goblins!). Average starting gold, two traits. No abilities below 8, before adjustments.

Anything from PFRPG or the APG is fine. No lawful classes, and NO gunslingers. I'll want a "balanced" party, more or less, and I'm inclined to believe a goblin barbarian more than a goblin with the actual discipline and training of a real fighter, know what I mean? No, you probably don't. You're goblins.

You're all from the Licktoad tribe, and already know each other. That doesn't mean you have to like each other! Goblins iz nasty and fasty! Pranksy and stanksy! Stabby and grabby! Icksy and tricksy! Well, you know...

This is not some silly, free-for-all, wild activity. It's an actual AP that requires silly, free-for-all, wild activity.

Interested goblins may apply here. Briefly describe your nasty little self and which class you want to play, with some stats. I'll post my choices Saturday, and start the game Monday night, around 5:00 EST, playing weeknights until we're done.

I'll pop in later to answer any questions.

I would like to submit for your consideration

Hey what are the goblin stat adjustments?

Bucko Rakingclaw
Goblin medicine man

Goblin adjustments are in the Bestiary, but they're -2 Str, -2 Cha, +4 Dex

Gartle Crazyface, Imaginary Friend Summoner

Gartle smiles disturbingly big and imagines bigger. He gets along with everyone in the tribe, including the imaginary members. This is a bit weird, but when he screws up his face, sticking his tongue out and crossing his eyes just so, everyone can SEE the spooky dead imaginary dwarf that follows him around, so the chief assumes everything he imagines is true.

and

Belthur Ordukr, Eyed... eedoo... GHOST DWARF

A ghostly-blue colored dwarf with an axe in his head, smoldering pits where his eyes should be and spiked chains wrapped around him. Gertle says he used to be an “adventurin’ theaf”, and nobody in the tribe really can be bothered to argue about it, especially since Belthur tends to hit them with his chains if they do.

Me want join!

Me Velag Wordeater, Inquisiminator of Tricksies and Madness! Me picked special to make sure nasty wordses not get inside gobbie heads - to make sure, me burn and eat nasty writtins!

Me want go get firepops and crush nasties who takeses them! (Plus, me makes sure no tribes-gobbies use nasty writtins or other bad stuffs!)

Just regular APG traits, or are there goblin-specific ones somewhere?

Goblin stats can be found here.

Me want join!

Me Velag Wordeater, Inquisiminator of Tricksies and Madness! Me picked special to make sure nasty wordses not get inside gobbie heads - to make sure, me burn and eat nasty writtins!

Me want go get firepops and crush nasties who takeses them! (Plus, me makes sure no tribes-gobbies use nasty writtins or other bad stuffs!)

Just regular APG traits, or are there goblin-specific ones somewhere?

"Agrees with this one yes burn bookses an scrolleses an feeds to mah precious!"

Kenderkin here.... ;)

Grimlek walks into other IMPOSTER licktoad gathering and says "You no can have firebooms deyz ourz! You go find own!" At this he farts loudly in your general direction and heads back to the REAL licktoads!

Just thought I'd throw in a bit of crossover fun in your recruitment thread. I'm in the other game.

Smells cabbage.....

There ARE some amusing goblin traits, which I'll list here:

Balloon Headed: You got extra big goblin head. +1 perception, and is skill for you. You big, stinky head make Escape Artist hard: -8 escape tight places, big-head!

Pustular: You even uglier than most! Gooey goop glop off your face. You get 2 save throwses when sickened, not one, ugly!

Goblin Bravado: You think you tough goblin! When you fight bigger thing, and no goblins next to you, you get +1 damage with non-reach weapon, like dog-slicer. You not last long...

Bouncy: You bounce when you fall down. First 1d6 falling damage converted to nonlethal because you scared wimpy bouncy goblin! You get +2 Reflex to avoid unexpected falls, because you need it, rubber-head.

You can pick any one, if you want.

There's a feat, too, but it has a prereq.

Dog-Sniff-Hate: Prereq: Goblin, Skill Focus (perception)

You can smell scary dogs and doggy-like creatures. Get +1 morale bonus to hit nasty dogs and +2 to damage their yucky hides!

Dibs on Bouncy!

"Cause Bucko's Bounce!"

Dibs on Bouncy!

Nuh-uh! You not more bouncy than Velag!

*slams head into wall* See! Me bounces right back!

*whispers* It come from all the writtins I eats -- it fill me head with big puffy words instead of stealin 'em! *nods*

"Head to head competetion then, you start tha side, I start here, we meets in middle, head-to-head!"

Assumes sprint position with head down...

me be Joboo
me be smart
me be quick
me vanish
lickety split!

Joboo is a sly and cruel goblin thief that delights in sneaking up and stabbing dogzees and humanz dibs on goblin bravado

working on stats now

"Head to head competetion then, you start tha side, I start here, we meets in middle, head-to-head!"

Assumes sprint position with head down...

"Me show you! Me more rubberheaded than you, Rockhead-Blockhead-Bucko!"

Starts running....

ooh! oi! gobbos with big heads and nuffin inside. gonna go boom and then Ouch! hohoho...hehehe...

I present Rikrak for your scrutiny:

Rikrak Sniffdurt

Rikrak is great hunter and trainer of dogs for the goblins. Armed with a spear and his loyal canine companion, Pooper (has a slight lower bowel problem), the duo make an effective hunting team. Rikrak has a natural bond with nature and greatly enjoys hunting and long walks along the river's edge.

Rikrak's proud accomplishments include, felling a dire rat with a single thrust of his spear, surviving an encounter with Chief Tubby-Not's daughter, being to eat 3 live frogs in under 1 second, and able to bullseye a womprat with his sling from over 100' away.

Rikrak is a proud goblin who thirsts for adventure and is always ready to take on a challenge no matter how large... hence his encounter with the Chief's daughter, although some stale dwarven ale and a dare from his goblin-chums did take part in this role.

"What we hunt this moon? Mebbe some piggies? Piggies so good taste in belly! Piggy Hunt! Piggy Hunt! Piggy Hunt! Harrruuuu!!!"

Attack roll
Charging head-but
1d20 ⇒ 10

Damage 1d2 ⇒ 2 subdual

"Fear mah head!"

"He...he...hi. I Klepy. I see tings. Tings I want see. So I take them. The others, they say I stealing, but I just want my tings."

Klepy is just that, a kleptomaniac. He sees things he likes, he takes them. Sweet and simple. The odd part is, he's become quite good at it. He even knows when to back down, and of course try again later. Now he's interesting in that he doesn't simply take money. He likes the shinys but he'll take anything, and I mean anything. Every time he looks around he may spot something he has to have. And he takes it if he can. He's learned that people don't like him taking their stuff, so he does it when their not looking. If he sees something he likes, he doesn't stop until it's his.

I took the rich parents trait. He doesn't actually have rich parents, this just helps to represent his nature. Since he's a kleptomaniac, he'd have lots of stuff. This was just the best way to do that. Deft Dodger represents how he has to respond to the unpredictability of stealing.

I present Rikrak for your scrutiny:

Rikrak Sniffdurt

Rikrak is great hunter and trainer of dogs for the goblins. Armed with a spear and his loyal canine companion, Pooper (has a slight lower bowel problem), the duo make an effective hunting team. Rikrak has a natural bond with nature and greatly enjoys hunting and long walks along the river's edge.

Rikrak's proud accomplishments include, felling a dire rat with a single thrust of his spear, surviving an encounter with Chief Tubby-Not's daughter, being to eat 3 live frogs in under 1 second, and able to bullseye a womprat with his sling from over 100' away.

Rikrak is a proud goblin who thirsts for adventure and is always ready to take on a challenge no matter how large... hence his encounter with the Chief's daughter, although some stale dwarven ale and a dare from his goblin-chums did take part in this role.

"What we hunt this moon? Mebbe some piggies? Piggies so good taste in belly! Piggy Hunt! Piggy Hunt! Piggy Hunt! Harrruuuu!!!"

See Profile for More Crunch. (I have also added a bit more to his personality traits)

Attack roll

Charging head-but
1d20

Damage 1d2 subdual

"Fear mah head!"

"Ow! Me show you!"

Headbutt (Charge): 1d20 ⇒ 13

Damage: 1d2 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3 subdual

"Take that! Admit me better, or me use powers to melt you Rockhead-Blockhead! See how you likes not having head!"

"Mah powers greatser tha yers."

"I shows yous trick."

uh oh! things about to go boom!

Joboo takes a few cautionary steps backwards.

"Being ugly not a power, Rockhead-Blockhead! Keep up and me use acid splash make you prettier!"

"Dog-sniff-hate" has a prereq, so it wouldn't be available until 3rd level. Just thought I'd point that out.

I was just planning to do the AP, but if your evil little hides can survive it, I'd be willing to continue some goofy-but-dangerous adventures.

What would a group of 15th level goblin PCs do for fun? I'm scared to ask...

Also, there are some cool characters here, but where are all the mighty goblin warriors?

"Dog-sniff-hate" has a prereq, so it wouldn't be available until 3rd level. Just thought I'd point that out.

I was just planning to do the AP, but if your evil little hides can survive it, I'd be willing to continue some goofy-but-dangerous adventures.

What would a group of 15th level goblin PCs do for fun? I'm scared to ask...

Also, there are some cool characters here, but where are all the mighty goblin warriors?

Thanks for pointing that out. I have changed it now, and have made the character a little more combat effective focused.

Does anyone know which god would most likely be worshipped by goblins in Golarion?

In the event that there are no suitable goblin warrior types, I offer this character instead of my other submission, Rikrak.

(See Profile for more details on this hammer smashing Barbarian).

TARK BASHFLAT
Tark is a very simple minded goblin. He is quite friendly and very trusting of his chums. (And hence easily manipulated). His true desite though is to hammer things flat. Whether its rocks, frogs or feces, it matters not to him. The flatter the better no matter how many hours it may take.

Oddly enough when Tark drinks alcohol he tends to have a better ability to think for himself. His chums usually try to prevent Tark from drinking for this very reason. (Tark also finds a lot of the alcohol they give him tastes a lot like water -- but he know's they wouldn't give him water and say its alcohol, since they are his chums.)

"Me want bash that!"

"Why me no bash? Me like bash froggies!"

"What mean 'familiar'?"

"Oh, that like pet?"

"Okay, me not bash that froggy."

"What that you say? If me bash that tree with head, frogs will fall out that me can bash. Hrmm, me usually get frogs at swamp, but you good chum for telling me."

Commences bashing the tree until either a frog falls out or until he falls unconscious.

"Being ugly not a power, Rockhead-Blockhead! Keep up and me use acid splash make you prettier!"

"Yous like this......"

Casts...Ear piercing scream

Also, there are some cool characters here, but where are all the mighty goblin warriors?

If need be, to balance a party, our little Wordeater could be swapped for a Goblin Ranger, Fark Gnomemuncher. (Favoured Enemy: Gnomes), Inflitrator type.

Klepy looks astonished. "A stronger more experienced Klepy means MORE TINGS!!!WOOHOO!! It means sneakier and more packratting. I like tings! Klepy wants more tings!"

Velag, make a fort save...
lol

@ Kor, re: goblin deities.

I'd guess Lamashtu would be the most likely. There's a deity in the AP called Zarongel, but not a lot of info. It's a barghest hero, probably in the goblin book when it comes out.

All it says is that he (she?) is the god of dog-killing, fire, and most holy mounted combat. Animal and Fire are domains. I'll make up the rest:

CE, Domains: Animal, Chaos, Evil, Fire, Destruction. Favored weapon: Dogslicer, of course!

If we get anything official about it, we can change it to suit.

Hey, scratch that. Zarongel (and links to other likely deities) can be found here. Let's just go with that. Female, BTW. I got the dogslicer right, at least.

Greetings, again, mighty goblins!

As you go about your daily activities (which consist mostly of beating each other senseless: Think Little Rascals after watching too many Three Stooges movies, high on acid and worshipping Satan. That almost describes it.), you are interrupted by the voice of Slorb, Chief Gutwad's personal advisor, and a very important, pompous, and nasally-voiced goblin!

That he would deign to speak to you would be considered an honor to most goblins, other than the fact of his annoying voice.

Bucko Rackingclaw! Velag Wordeater! Joboo Gunstabb! Tark Bashflat!
He waits while you stop killing each other and get up off the ground, or stop whacking your head against a tree, or whatever goblin fun you're having.
Me Slorb. Me real important goblin, so listen up! His Mighty Girthness Chief Rendwattle Gutwad wants see you now! Get up and look respeckuble, and follow me!

In his bright pink robe, most likely stolen from some little girl, he appears the height of goblin style and dignity, and leads you to the Great Chief's Moot House!

Sign in here, and we'll get started!

All the goblins here cracked me up. If you're still looking for a PbP game, there's still a couple openings here, at the time of this posting.

"Me not hear you! Rockhead-Blockhead make the loudscream!"

"No one hear mes, yous tell big lies!"

Fingering the hilts of his daggers Jobbo mutters to himself

is bout time big chiefy chiefy see how smart i is.

he'll fall into step behind Slorb and keep looking over his shoulder at the others.