Fritzy, Flaming Bike Artillery's page

It's cool, we got to talk it out.

Yay! You deserve it!!

Fires off a twenty one milkmaid salute.

NobodysHome wrote:

captain yesterday wrote:

Also, you'd be surprised how often I can work "That'll be super easy, barely an inconvenience!" into work conversations.

Our favorite is the sheer number of movies where a large disc-shaped object (a ferris wheel, a flying saucer, etc.) is rolling towards the protagonists and he asks,

"So, they're just going to step to the side, right?"
"Oh, no! They're going to run in a straight line, directly away from it."
"But why would they do that?"
"Because it's more exciting that way."
"Oh, OK!"

isn't there a problem with the items width, the speed its moving, and how fast you can move? I could have sworn there was a Mythbusters or something on that.

Red alert! The Boss has clearly been kidnapped!! There's no other way he'd bring up a math problem unbidden!!!

Begins putting together an extraction team.

All I know is if any of you mention Tom Brady you're f!*!ing toast.

That's what you call a misdirection.

Or perhaps I should try baiting.

Batman would be a Paladin!

lisamarlene wrote:

I am in soooo much pain today, because yesterday I was appallingly stupid for good reasons.

** spoiler omitted **...

sends musclebound cyclists with thighs and calves of gods to carry LISAMARLENE to the abscondi-cave on their rippling shoulders

Great! There goes my Sunday!

I've decided not to acknowledge covid-19 as political discussion.

I'm pretty sure the boss would agree.

My boss is being an idiot.

My posts were removed.

Upset Freehold is upset.

Fires off a couple of saucy milkmaids for the boss.

Keeps spraying bikes with bleach and alcohol.

F$!@ it, they're clean enough!!

Someone's getting fired out of a cannon for this.

Attaches a red card to a flaming ten speed.

Tacticslion wrote:

John Napier 698 wrote:

Hello, everyone.

Well, I found out why the garage has no water. There's road work going on in the street beside the garage. So they turned off the water without telling anyone about the work. Again.

But, I have a plan for the restroom. It snowed here overnight and into the morning. So I took a couple of buckets and the shovel up onto the roof and filled them with snow.

They're starting to melt, right now. When they're done, I'll use that water for the toilet tank. Drinking water will be a bit of a problem, but I'll take care of it over the weekend.

Okay, dude, this doesn't seem like reasonable working conditions.

I can't say that your garage is necessarily at fault (because someone's doing some street work), but it doesn't seem like you could be expected to reasonably attend work in these conditions, and, while you need a paycheck, it seems like this is something that needs to be addressed by your employer (probably by them reaching out to the city, to go, "What the crap; no really, and literally, what the actual crap; also, more figuratively: what the crap?") and figuring out something in which you have humane and reasonable working conditions. Because what the crap.

deep breath

...oh. Hi, Fritzy.

Hello!

Freehold DM wrote:

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I take it this means you stayed up until your birthday started at midnight.

Happy Birthday, Freehold!

Happy birthday, boss!

fires off a 20 bike salute while a group of milkmaids rub themselves with absinthe.

To heck with the flaming bikes, I don't care.

** spoiler omitted **

Nothing political about that.

Freehold DM wrote:

captain yesterday wrote:

Sharoth wrote:

I need to let the wind out of it's sail.

Nuke it, it's the only way to be sure.

** spoiler omitted **

I am afraid I must issue a rebuttal on our president's behalf:

** spoiler omitted **

Bomb's away!

Looks like I'm going to have to get out the big bikes!

grabs keys for forklift.

Fires practice bikes in everyone's general direction, just for old times sake.

Considering I'm not shoveling snow like I thought I'd be, I'll let it slide.

Oh come on, it's Sunday!

I'm not even supposed to be here today!!!

fires bikes off in a lackadaisical manner, hoping at least one hits someone.

Man oh man, am i glad i got a fresh supply of flammable bikes for Christmas!

wraps bikes in extra sparkly tinsel and aims for the refrigerators.

Well you guys touched a lot of area's this last 2 days including politics and religion. Where is the flaming bike launcher!?!?!?!?!

To be quite honest I tuned out the last few days and didn't catch it.

Geez, busy morning!

Lighting them up, boss!

I'm just going to assume they're talking about soccer, or as it's commonly referred to in Europe, Football.

Or possibly some sort of pie incorporating sheep's belly, jellied liver, and gooseberries.

Loads up some extra firey flaming bikes.

Hey! It's the weekend!

I am getting senile. So is fritzy.

prods old, confused fritzy

Wakes up from his Matlock marathon, starts poking the fire button with his cane.

What's that now!

Stops gorging on Wisconsin cheese and oogling barn mice long enough to pull the trigger.

All I heard was someone calling me pudgy.

Loads up the Hulk fat tire bikes.

Fritzy worked over 40 hours in 4 days with high humidity and temps over 90 degrees.

You can flaming bicycle yourselves tonight.

Adds a bushel of potatoe's to the bike cannon.

swallows knot in throat

Fritzy...O-open fire, flaming bikes, full spread.

Makes a rainbow of bikes.

Starts loading the fat tire bikes, refers to Good Eats to make sure they're as inedible as possible.

FYI: If you're going to fire flaming stuff, make sure it isn't edible.

Uses an Alton Brown cookbook to prepare latest batch of bikes.

Leaves a progressive trail of flaming bike debris on Nobodyshome's front lawn.

Spits out coffee all over his newspaper, aims for Mort.

Sorry boss, didn't mean to get complacent, won't happen again!

Fires a barrage of flaming bikes at the Bay Area.

Oops, I guess my finger "slipped"

All I heard was "political"

Fires bikes off randomly.

Fritzy, Flaming Bike Artillery wrote:

Just a Mort wrote:

** spoiler omitted **

Stop it!!

Fires bikes on everyone, except Lynora, Orthos, and ironically enough, Captain Yesterday.

runs around bruised and aflame

Why? Why?

Sorry! I knew I was forgetting someone!

** spoiler omitted **

Stop it!!

Fires bikes on everyone, except Lynora, Orthos, and ironically enough, Captain Yesterday.

Oh, how Fritzy was fond!
Of firing his bikes across the pond.

I'll allow that one.

It's Freehold's birthday!!!

Fires a twenty one bike salute while buxom milkmaids dance suggestively to a Micheal Bay lens flare explosion in slow motion.

Happy Birthday boss!!

At work making bank for my money sucking brood.

You're on your own.

Scintillae wrote:

Do you mean mention the rules as in "hey man don't do that" or as in "fire a warning shot with the flaming bike cannon and pray our aim actually works as a warning shot and not a TKO"?

Both? Both. Both is good.

You guys are just going to have to shoot yourselves with flaming bikes this week, I'm entirely too busy.

"No, ma'am, we don't have that toy you just made up in your head..."

And from Orthos of all people!

Looks vainly for his address.

Wait, Tennessee is a real place! That can't be right...

This is starting to sound political...

Oh what the heck, it's been awhile, and I need to warm up...

Fires barrage of flaming bikes.

Reaches for firing trigger in futility, overstuffed with trendy bakery birthday cake and cheap pizza.

So, this is what happens when I try to take a night off.

Sets bike cannon to autofire.

polishing a fresh bike for launching.

So, you think you're the only hamster around.

Oh dear, I hope my finger doesn't slip...

With everyone gone, throws a Fritzy party.

Wait, is tennis a sport?

Is that the one where Tiger Woods cheated on Gisele Bundchen?

What do I do here!

fires a barrage at NobodysHome, just to be safe.

Fritzy, Flaming Bike Artillery wrote:

Syrus Terrigan wrote:

Is anybody else noticing the obvious parallels between mathic sectarianism and religious doctrinal feuds??

I was going to let the whole math battles slide. But then you had to go and bring religion into the mix...

Gets out the Giant Boob Nipple Gun, begins firing on Syrus.

the boob nipple gun is to be used for celebratory purposes only. Here, take the standard flaming bike cannon and resume the barrage.

But it's the fortieth anniversary of the release of Star Wars.

But don't worry, I'm saving the stripper pole harpoons for the anniversary of Firefly getting cancelled.