Celestial Healer's Brother-Cyst's page

captain yesterday wrote:

captain yesterday’s avatar wrote:

captain yesterday wrote:

I was going to change mine like I used to be fond of doing. But then this one looks eerily similar to me, and then I was the only one using it so I felt an obligation to keep using it. Now, there is one other person using it, and you know, I can't let them win, whoever they may be.

Ahem…

This is why I don't speak at family gatherings.

Don’t worry. I will use it responsibly.

That's what the doctor's told you about the scalpel!

Now one of us is stuck in a jar of formaldehyde, relegated to a hidden corner of the closet, and only brought out when you want to freak out the norms.

Responsibly is no way for an alias to live!

Oh man, if I'd known it was your birthday I would've drugged Chris Hemsworth, dressed him up in his Ragnarok gladiator outfit and left him at your place to do as you will.

So I got married.

I tried to get Chris Evans to do a "private performance" for the honeymoon, but no dice, I think he's starting to get wise to the whole chloroform and rag trick.

begins letting air out of the tire along a dark highway.

Hold on, I have one more idea...

If it's a golden shower, you might want to wait until after. :-)

Did you want me to kidnap Gelman from Live to help with planning again, I'm telling you man, he's gonna start getting wise to it.

Both!

Emerges from the morning talk show crowd, injured, with once fine apparel now in tatters, and holding a jar with some sort of swirling essence inside it.

Here man, I bring you some of Kelly Ripa's stolen youth. Happy birthday!

C'mon bro! Live a little! I can always scrounge you up a new liver. Just give me a morning to work the GMA crowds.

You can do it!

I'm surprised you're not in mourning for your tumor familiar.

What, are you kidding, I'm having the time of my life! I'm already slated to be a guest host on Kelly Ripa.