Acme Robot's page

*Bleep*

Patrick Curtin wrote:

Well, things are looking up. I might have a full-time position soon at WHOI! YAY!

~looks at you in shock~ It can't be?!? You must be an imposter! The Patrick Curtin that we know works three jobs and is a robot! Take him apart quick!

WHaaaat? A robot?

Hey who's going to sign for this anvil, weather ballon, trampoline , and case of dynamite?

Good old Acme. My wingman (robot) in the old OTD threads

Especially when you have lots of aliases

*BEEP*

*BEEP*

BLITZ!

Monday phase I completed.

*bzz click whirr*

I am the one
Orgasmotron
The outstretched Grasping Hand
My image is of agony
My servants rape the land

Acme Robot wrote:

BluePigeon wrote:

hey, do we still have a drink-severing robo-droid somewhere around here?

*BEEP*

You rang sir?

Ah, you're still working. Good. A long iced tea, 2 shots of vodka, and large pitcher of unsweetened iced tea. It's going to be a hot one today.

*Beep*

As you command sir

Wheels away and returns with a platter of the requested beverages

There you are sir, enjoy.

hey, do we still have a drink-severing robo-droid somewhere around here?

*BEEP*

You rang sir?

This might take a while ..

*BLEEP*

Advanced Giant Dread Shadow Rat Swarm? I gotta get me a slice of that come July! I am almost inspired to write a gauntlet one myself!

Whirrr klick Bloop!

Your jetpack is fueled with strontium and ready for your commute sir.

*BEEP*

Felicitations Lord and Lady Teter!

Devlyn checks out the bar area. It is about the same as it was in times past; mayhap a mite larger with a few more beers on tap. Acme whizzes along the bar's length, stocking various exotic bottles of liquor and rapidly slicing limes and lemons. An thin articulated arm with a circular saw at its tip emerges from his head and slices a coconut in half cleanly before retracting.

Do you wish another refreshment Lord Devlyn? Acme inquires, pouring the coconut milk into a chilled ewer.

*BEEP*

At once mistress

Acme zips about, filling the drink orders of the new arrivals. After a bit, a squad of young girls in white tees, aprons, and jeans miniskirts fan out and begin prepping the area for more arrivals. A large tent is raised on the grass. Tables and chairs are brought out.

*BEEP*

At once mistress. Gentlemen, your preferences?

The chrome-and-neon robot rolls off on his casters, returning quickly with a glass of golden fizzy liquid and a small shot glass of dark honey-amber fluid.

There you are sir. Can I get you anything else?

I'll take that with a shot of Irish whisky, if you please.

*BEEP*

Would you prefer Connemara, Black Bush, Bushmills 16 or 21-year variety, Jamesons, Clontarf, Tullamore Dew or Green Spot sir?

*BEEP*

We have Boylan's Reed's Knudsen's, Fafnir's and Mitchifer's Select for ginger ales. Any preference sir?

*BEEP*

At once Mistress.

The rolling retro-robot runs up to Irv.

"What is your pleasure, sir?"

A retro-Fifties robot shows up

*beep*

Yes sir?

*beep* present

Whizzes up with some Dark&Stormys

Here you are, Miss Lynora-Jill.

Acme comes whizzing into the clubhouse bearing a stack of kegs balanced precariously

"Ms. Lynora-Jill, I heard you say you needed kegs, so I took the liberty of procuring some."

Acme deploys the disruption defense field, rendering the borg's distintegration useless

Acme zips along the edges of the crowd, attempting to keep the guests' glasses full

Gimme that bottle, Acme! Sounds like class is in session!

*BEEP*

I apologize sir, but I must deliver this, as I was requested to.

Acme zips off with the tequila bottle a bowl of cut lemon wedges and some salt.

*beep*

Right away sir!

Hey Acme! Better line up more Dark & Stormys. Those ladies look to be working up a powerful thirst. In me at least.

*BEEP*

Right away sir!

Zips off

Hey Acme! How 'bout a Dark & Stormy? With a little paper umbrella in it?

Acme zips up with a tray of Dark and Stormies

*BEEP*

Here we are sir!

Acme begins whipping up snack platters and zipping them out to the guests

Does the Robot

Jack Hammer wrote:

"Acme, Rosie! How 'bout setting up some hoops on the lawn? Don't forget to add the landmines. Thx!"

Yes, sir. Right away, sir.

*Whirs off to set up the croquet field.*

*beep*

yes sir!

Follows Rosie

*beep*

As you wish sir

drops two cubes in the tumbler

WE

I'll take 2 of each, eh how much is that gonna cost? oh whatever put it on the poodle's bill.

*BEEP*

I will attempt to comply, but I am unsure our alcohol stocks can withstand 13,174 drinks. Also, the poodles have no credit, as they are notorious deadbeats ...

anybody got ice. I like my drinks on the rocks and without poodles. though poodles are very durable hakey sacks

A gleaming chrome retro-futuristic robot zips up to J&C

*BEEP*

I can make you any one of 6,587 different mixed drinks sir.

*BEEP*

Do tell sir .

Acme rolls up

*BEEP*

I'll make you one sir!

Quickly pours a Bloody Mary for JH

*BEEP*

Only on alternate Tuesdays sir.

HoD turns his back on Acme, and steps towards Alaina.

Join with me woman of fire.

When HoD turns his back, Acme reforms his chain guns and fires both at HoD's midsection

Acme's spikes seem to collect the elemental fury. Acme's armor seems to glow with a dozens of blue-white stars.

I may not command the energy, but I can certainly channel it.

Acme's spikes discharge the energy HoD sent over in an arc of fury straight back at him.

Feed me! Give me your life and your souls.

The berserker seems to call to the Bouncer and Alaina, and the soulforged blades the Bouncer wields. They feel compelled to obey.

He ignores yet another sabre slash, but the wound heals more slowly. Acme is the center of his attention.

Acme punches his two glowing runeblades into HoD's midsection. A crackling electricity travels off the blades into the Hammer of Death.

Bullets fly everywhere, as some are deflected by the earthbreaker, but many get thru. HoD is strengthened by the Hot of the hot lead, but not the lead part.

ARRRGGHHH!

He races towards Acme.

Acme keeps his guns trained on HoD until he approaches just far enough, then the guns morph into two huge glowing golden runic swords. He waits in a defensive stance, sword arms ready.

*BEEP*

YOU ARE AN INTRUDER! DEFEND THE SANCTUM!!

Acme transforms, his arms refashioning into two massive chain guns. The guns very odd-looking, covered in arcane runes. A layer of rune-encrusted armorplate envelops his slender form, increasing his size until he stands eight-feet tall. Spikes emerge along his arms and legs as the runes flash golden. Each spike is crackling with elemental fury.

Acme begins firing his twin chain guns, the whine sounding like a wounded griffon's scream. Glowing bullets trailing blue-green fire stitch a line across HoD's midsection.

*BEEP*

Busy Miss Alaina. But other than temple business nothing has occurred. I did see KC talking to Miss Lynora-Jill earlier

Acme Robot wrote:

*BEEP*

Here you are sir!

Delivers a Dark&Stormy to Corin

Thanks. Haven't you know, ever transformed into a motorcycle or large robotic dinosaur?

*BEEP*

A motorcycle yes, dinosaur, no sir.

Continues wiping down bar

*BEEP*

Here we are sir!

Hands Demolition Jack a Dark&Stormy

*BEEP*
Here you are sir!

Delivers a Dark&Stormy to Corin