GM Paladin's We B4 Goblins!

Game Master Paladin of Baha-who?

Happy to help!

The Groom snorts in derision.

"Screw you, Gobbo! Winnius ain't gonna run from no baby greenskin; I'll turn your head into a pinata, and play knuckle-bones with your teeth! Come on on Wellma, let's take 'em down a peg!"

"Aye!", pipes-up the Bride, "Let's kick sum Goobo arse!"

At that, both the Bride and Groom adopt boxing poses, and prepare to fight.

Round 1: Wellma(-), Winnius(-), Poog(-), Goog(-), Greta(-), Mogmurch(-), Mic Chuffy(-)

Party is up!

Goog sneers at the obviously stupid halflings. "You'll regrets it!" he screams at them, and then casts burning hands at them.
fire: 1d4 ⇒ 3 DC 12 Reflex save for half

Not wanting his brother's flames to beat his, Poog runs up and does the same thing.

burning hands: 1d4 ⇒ 2 DC 12 Refl for half

He tries to pretend his was just as good.

Woot! adventure on!

Mogmurch does what he does best, scooping up a stone and hurling it with all his pathetic goblin-y might.

Atk: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (13) + 3 = 16
Dmg: 1d3 - 2 ⇒ (3) - 2 = 1

going for the bride, frilly dresses are weakness!

Mic wakes up and attacks another thing with his pointy rock.
Attack: 1d20 ⇒ 3 damage: 1d3 - 1 ⇒ (3) - 1 = 2
and does a lovely impression of dropping it on his foot.

Just to keep things moving...

Poog and Goog unleash sheets of flame, which wash over the Bride and Groom...

Reflex(B): 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (14) + 5 = 19.
Reflex(B): 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (10) + 5 = 15.
Reflex(G): 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (8) + 5 = 13.
Reflex(G): 1d20 + 5 ⇒ (11) + 5 = 16.

...but both manage to duck under the worst of the flames.

Reta then steps up, and tries to club the Bride...

Club: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (18) + 2 = 20, for 1d4 ⇒ 1 damage.

...delivering a glancing blow.

Mogmurch tosses a stone, which beans the Bride on the forehead, leaving a small bruise.

Mic Chuffy tries to stab the Bride, but instead nearly falls over.

The Bride and Groom sneer, and attempt to double-team Reta...

Punch: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (16) + 3 = 19, for 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2 damage.
Punch: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (18) + 3 = 21, for 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (1) + 1 = 2 damage.

...each delivering solid blows.

Round 2: Wellma(-4), Winnius(-2), Poog(-), Goog(-), Greta(-4), Mogmurch(-), Mic Chuffy(-)

Party is up!

Goog pulls out the relatively small stick he's been using as a club, and pounds away.
club: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (6) - 1 = 5
damage: 1d4 - 2 ⇒ (4) - 2 = 2

Mic shifts his grip on his sharpened stone and stabs again.
Attack: 1d20 ⇒ 9 damage: 1d3 - 1 ⇒ (3) - 1 = 2

Poog screams and runs forward with a stick, but mistakenly attacks his brother from behind.

stick attack!: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 = 01d4 - 2 ⇒ (1) - 2 = -1 wow

I would like to nominate Poog for the "Worst Rolls Ever" award.

Mogmurch hurls another stone, hopefully at the bride.

atk: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (19) + 3 = 22
dmg: 1d3 - 2 ⇒ (2) - 2 = 0

Poog and Goog swing wildly, the former almost taking the latter's head off with an ill-timed swing.

Greta takes a swing at the bride...

Club: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (12) + 2 = 14, for 1d4 ⇒ 4 damage.

...delivering a solid blow to her skull, which leaves her ears ringing.

Mogmurch takes advantage of this distraction, and beans her with another pebble.

Sadly, Mic Chuffy is unable to capitalise on this distraction, his weak blow getting tangled in the Bride's veil.

Starting to become a bit more concerned, both halflings continue to assault Greta...

Punch: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (5) + 3 = 8, for 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4 damage.
Punch: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (20) + 3 = 23, for 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4 damage.
Crit Confirmation: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (16) + 3 = 19, for 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 = 3 damage.

...the incensed (and rather bloodied) bride delivering a king-hit so strong, it sends Greta careening across the yard.

Round 3: Wellma(-8, 1 NL), Winnius(-2), Poog(-), Goog(-), Greta(-11, dying), Mogmurch(-), Mic Chuffy(-)

Party is up!

Mic shrugs as Greta is slowly dying. "Nothing i can do, so i stab." he thinks to himself.
Attack: 1d20 ⇒ 2 damage: 1d3 - 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 = 0
He does a good stab and slices through the air like a champion. Now if he could only stop attacking the innocent air and attack the bad guys, he'll be golden.

Knowing he likely couldn't hit anything, Poog moves over to help someone who could: the beautiful, unconscious Reta.

CLW: 1d8 + 1 ⇒ (6) + 1 = 7

Goog tries to hit the bride, heedless of Greta.
club: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (8) - 1 = 7
damage: 1d4 - 2 ⇒ (2) - 2 = 0

Mogmurch attempts to stabilize Greta

Heal: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (5) + 3 = 8

....and fails.

@Mogmurch: Poog already healed Greta.

Poog steps up and heals Greta, restoring her to consciousness.

Goog then tries to strike the Bride, but his clumsy attack is easily dodged.

Greta picks up her club...

AoO: 1d20 + 3 + 4 ⇒ (2) + 3 + 4 = 9, for 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4 damage.
AoO: 1d20 + 3 + 4 ⇒ (12) + 3 + 4 = 19, for 1d4 + 1 ⇒ (3) + 1 = 4 damage.

...and the halfings take advantage of this, to pummel her once again to the edge of unconsciousness.

Reeling, Greta shakily takes a swing at the bride...

Club: 1d20 + 2 - 4 ⇒ (5) + 2 - 4 = 3, for 1d4 ⇒ 4 damage.

...but her weak blow is easily avoided...

Stabilise: 1d20 + 1 - 1 ⇒ (2) + 1 - 1 = 2.

...as she lies in a spreading pool of blood.

Mogmurch then moves around to throw a gourd of burning mash at the Bride...

Swamp Gourd: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (17) + 3 = 20, for 1d6 ⇒ 5 Fire damage.

...which is enough to drop her into unconsciousness!

Mic Chuffy is then able to coup-de-grace the bride, slitting her throat.

"Wellma!", the Groom cries. "Screw this!" he then withdraws, running away as fast as his little legs can take him, diving straight into the river.

Combat over!

With the organised defense of the wedding party utterly broken, the Licktoads are able to thoroughly loot the farm, and then burn it to the ground.

Poog, Goog, Mic Chuffy and Greta's participation in the raid has earned them a solid reputation, and guaranteed their importance for years to come.

Of course, the most interesting 'treasure' from the raid is the giant cake (taller than a goblin!) which provides a delightful sugar rush.

In addition, one of the massive 'boars' from the farm follows the tribe home, eventually being adopted as something of a tribal mascot, and given the name Squealy Nord.

Module over!

Only Poog and Goog have given me reporting details, so I will assume they are the only ones wanting to claim credit for this module.

I will PM them links to the chronicle sheets, shortly.

Alright, links to the chronicle sheets have now been sent out via PM.

If there are any problems, PM me, as I will be unfollowing this thread.

All is well. Many thanks!

Dotting to hide thread. Many thanks for running this, both Paladin and Luke!