GM Paladin's We B4 Goblins!

Game Master Paladin of Baha-who?

Culgick and Rempty hurriedly divest themselves of their equipment: Each carrying a dogslicer, a shortbow, leather armor, and a light wooden shield. Kettlehead is wearing the same, as well as the helmet fashioned from an old kettle.

Chuffy eagerly claims some of the stuff.

Specifically, a suit of armor, a dogslicer, and one of the shortbows.

Mic goes to grab the helmet and the old kettle.

The helmet IS the old kettle. Unfortunately I also have to point out that Experts are not proficient in dogslicers or shortbows. The goblins you defeated were warriors.

Greta looks at the clumsily tries to handle the bows.
"HA.. this looks funny. Greta shows." With that she grabs a bow and shoots into the dead gobbo. "See deads, deads!"
She then moves toward the cave!

Believe me, I am aware that goblin experts are not proficient with their sine qua non weapon; that said, I still think a goblin would do his best to *claim* one ;-)

Chuffy hisses angrily at Mic when he tries to take the helmet from him.

"Mine!"

Mic grabs it back and hisses back. "No. It's Mine."

Poog tries to lay claim on the leather armor while the others fight over the helm.

Once in place, he follows along toward the cave assuming no one stops him...I had only seen one person claim leather, and there were two.

There are three leather armors actually. I'll make a 'moving along' post tonight after work so people should claim what they want before then.

With the goblin bully out of the way, the whelps must continue on their way to the Cave of Darkfear and present their toads to the dread spirit who lurks within.

Continuing on the path to the destination, the goblins pass through the shade of gray cypress trunks. Ahead of them, a sagging, human-made cave squats on the muddy ground, overgrown with swamp brambles and leaning precariously to one side. An entrance looms dark and mysterious ahead.

The 'cave' is actually an old trapper's shack, but is sufficiently spooky that the goblin tribe has come up with superstition to associate with it. I'll have a map up tomorrow.

Greta jumps at one of the armors and hastily dons it, gnashing her teeth while doing so

Mic pushes the helmet back at Chuffy when he sees leather armor. "You stinky, you need bath." He goes over and claims the last leather armor.

Also wearing his armor now, Poog looks at the 'cave' up ahead. "Pink-skins!" he says, as if it is a curse word.

"Hopefully some inside...goblins can bleed them!"

"Yes! Kill the pink-skins!"

"Do we burn it, like the idea of burning it."

I'm going to take a few days off posting. Sorry for this but I am swamped at work and need to catch up. I'll be back this weekend.

No problem, Paladin! Let us know when you're back.

The Licktoad tribe uses this 'cave' on a regular basis for this ritual, so burning it might have consequences on your standing in the tribe.

Pushing aside the broken door reveals a dark interior, filled with broken furniture, garbage, and a shape huddled in the corner that based on Loptop's description you realize is the fabled Spirit of Darkfear. It's actually the skeleton of the human trapper who lived in this cabin before being killed by a goblin raider. The haft of an old goblin horsechopper sticks out from the ragged cloths covering the Spirit.

Who's going first into the cabin to present your toad to the Spirit of Darkfear? (Map is updated.)

Goog will present his toad to the spirit, hoping to get a boon from mighty Zarongel through this ritual.

Greta will let someone else go first... being a sneaky goblin. After watching goog move in she will push her way forward.

Goog enters the cave of Darkfear, and presents his toad before the spooky, scary skeleton in the corner. His goblin instincts compel him to make up a song, and he begins singing:

"Goog say Zarongel is the best,
He help burn things and heal the rest.
Zarongel’s favor makes Goog blessed.
And Goog also stab you with knife if
you make fun of how he isn’t good at
riding animals."

Greta follows him in and sings her own song:

"Reta chop and Reta bite!
Reta slay and Reta fight!
Reta stab and Reta smite!
Reta kills it all just right!"

As the two goblins sing, the others see movement in a pile of garbage. Suddenly, a pair of two "grabby-cats", as goblins call them, scurry out to try to defend their den from these intruders.

Init order:
Mogmurch
Goog
Mic
Poog
Racoons
Chuffy
Greta

Goog pulls out his club and charges at one of the grabby-cats.

club: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (2) - 1 = 1 But he falls right on his face.

Mic aims at a racoon and shoots a dart.
Ranged Attack: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (10) + 4 = 14 damage: 1d3 - 1 ⇒ (3) - 1 = 2

"Take that you Rat."

Poog, laughing so hard at how inept his twin brother is, also falls on his face as he tries to attack one of the critters.

club: 1d20 - 1 + 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 + 1 = 11d4 - 2 ⇒ (3) - 2 = 1

Mic's dart cuts a nasty bleeding wound down the back of one of the racoons. Poog and Goog make fools of themselves as they try to fight with their clubs.

Mogmurch is still up!

Mogmurch hurls a bottle of oil at the ground underneath the grabby-cats!

Touch: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (19) + 3 = 22

Hope it functions as grease or it'll be good for a fiery ground.

The oil flasks in the CRB can be set alight. I'll say it covers the 10ft square indicated on the map with brown outline. It isn't slick enough to function as the grease spell, though.

One of the creatures steps forward to bite at Goog, the other goes after Poog. The latter is able to sink its little teeth surprisingly deep into the goblin's shoulder! 2 damage to Poog.

All PCs are up!

Moving forward and banging on her shield Greta attacks the closest grabby-cat.
Attack: 1d20 + 2 ⇒ (1) + 2 = 31d4 ⇒ 3

Goog swings his club again, hoping to fail less this time.
club: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (8) - 1 = 7
But he is still useless.

Chuffy watches with interest.

Mic aims at the blue raccoon and shoots another dart.

Ranged Attack: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (20) + 4 = 24 damage: 1d3 - 1 ⇒ (1) - 1 = 0
crit? Ranged Attack: 1d20 + 4 ⇒ (10) + 4 = 14 damage: 1d3 - 1 ⇒ (3) - 1 = 2

That would actually do 3 damage because bonuses, not penalties, are multiplied on a crit. However, it does not confirm, because Mic does not have precise shot and so takes a -4 for shooting into melee.

Poog screams in pain as the raccoon sinks its teeth into his shoulder. He swings at it again, just as ineptly as before, and then steps back, hoping another goblin will take his place as the pin-cushion.

club: 1d20 - 1 ⇒ (2) - 1 = 11d4 - 2 ⇒ (2) - 2 = 0

Touch: 1d20 + 3 ⇒ (8) + 3 = 11

Fire: 1d6 ⇒ 6

Mogmurch is tricky, very tricky, and throws his fiery mix at the oil-y floor, not the grabby cats!

Dealing with AC 5 for a patch of ground, yes?

Correct.

Mogmurch tosses a gourd of fire paste at the oil and sets it aflame, along with scorching the grabby-cats. One of them, already injured by Mic's darts, collapses to the ground. The other hisses in pain and anger, but is more afraid of the flames than anything else. It jumps for a nearby pile of garbage to try to escape out a window. Greta is able to get a strike at it before it flees, but not enough to put it down.

That solves that problem -- except now the cave is on fire! What are you going to do?

Do you want to fight the fire or get out and let it burn? Keep in mind that many of you have yet to do your ritual before the Spirit of Darkfear. If you want to fight it, anyone can spend a standard action to put out a square of fire by succeeding at a DC 10 CMB check or doing something else that would help put out the fire.

"Fire nice... nicenice."
Greta having done her ritual enjoys the fire.
SORRY Folks, but goblins are not social creatures

Chuffy now steps forward, and, holding his toad high, chants his song, whilst the room around him burns:

"Chuffy's face might make you sick,
but Chuffy's knife is awful quick.
and if you are his stabby pick -
then knife goes in you, stick, stick, stick!"

Covered in soot, and slightly scorched, he then retreats from the hut, cavorting as it burns to the ground (undoubtedly taking loot with it).

That seemed like the Goblin way to handle the situation ;-)

Mogmurch gazes at the fire before him and raises his toad,

Things go boom when Mogmurch throws,
Much more fun than using bows.
Sometimes where the boom boom blows
Is not my fault—that’s how it goes.

He nods at the fire burning around him and walks out.

Goog GTFO's as well, having already gotten his toad christened by the creepy skeleton.

Before leaving Greta looks for valuables. If she finds some shiny she takes it and then gets out and enjoys the fire.
Perc: 1d20 + 8 ⇒ (6) + 8 = 14

Though wounded, Poog holds his amazing new toad aloft and chants:

"Poog say Zarongel is the best,
He help burn things and heal the rest.
Zarongel’s favor makes Poog blessed.
And Poog also stab you with knife if
you make fun of how he isn’t good at
riding animals."

He prepares to run out as soon as he has completed the ritual.

As Greta is leaving the burning hut, she sees a little bundle by the door that she grabs on impulse. She quickly discovers she has four tindertwigs in her hand.

The Cave of Darkfear quickly becomes the Burning Pile of Debris of Darkfear as the goblins watch. However, they have completed their rituals and, if the chief doesn't throw them out of the tribe for burning down the cave, they are now Licktoads!

More to come tomorrow.

1d5 ⇒ 3

Honest. It was still standing when we left (for a given value of standing). Maybe the spirit consumed itself in the fires of its own fury? ;-)

"Hurray!" Poog shouts. "Zarongel so happy we new Licktoads that he burn down cave! We last Licktoads!" he says, not realizing that might be a bad thing.

As the Goblins head away from the burning shack, they encounter a wooden crate on the road. This wasn't here when they came here from the Tadpole bog! Some longshanks must have passed this way recently and dropped it!

There are strange words (evil, evil words!) written on the side of the crate, along with a drawing of a pointy-eared longshank wearing a brightly-colored cap with five dangling points tipped with yellow balls.

Chuffy immediately tries to destroy the words before they have a chance to hurt him!

He then looks around, to see if the longshanks is still nearby...

"Stoopid! Words bad but might be good things inside! Don't break stuff before we sees if it useful!"

Goog helps try to destroy the words but also tries to keep the contents safe, and peers inside.
Perception: 1d20 + 1 ⇒ (17) + 1 = 18

Poog agrees with his brother (he hates when that happens), and tries to help open the crate.

"Maybe stuff to steal inside!"

Bravely Greta runs forward and checks the box with the others.

Goog rips the writing-leaves (paper) with the words and drawing on it off the side of the crate and stomps it into the mud. Now the goblins can pry the top off to discover five bottles each labeled with similar-looking words and the same point-eared longshanks from the previous drawing.

The bottles are cheap ceramic, and easy to unstopper. The liquid inside smells good, in a sharp, alcoholic sort of way.