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1001 Side-Effects of Implanting Used Cyberware


Starfinder General Discussion

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Maybe your team ran across a tough cybered-up badguy who almost TPKed you all...

Maybe you found leftover implants in a abandoned medbay during a run...

Maybe you know you need a little edge, but can't afford the ultra-expensive brand new model augmentation...

Maybe you were celebrating a successful run with a few-too-many intoxicants, saw a bodyshop, and thought "What the hell? Why not?"...

Whatever the reason, despite any misgivings or hesitation you might have had, you got some previously-used (hey, technically it's new to you!) cyberware, bioware, or nanoware implanted. But after you got it, you've discovered it comes with an atypical hiccup, glitch, or drawback. Not bad bad enough to get it removed, but it makes your life a little more interesting or weird. So, what is it?

---8<---------------------

1) You got some great used headware/neuroware, or a hacking/communication system... and now you just can't say, type, or communicate certain words or phrases. You still understand the meaning of them, and can hear others say them, but for you, you just can't vocalize them or you stutter on them so badly it's incomprehensible.

Silver Crusade

4 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

2) After swallowing that little computer, your voice now automatically switches to autotune when you attempt to sing.


Your hidden gun arm augmentation activates on its own occasionally. You're there just having a chat with the banker and all of a sudden your gun's out, uh sorry about that...


3 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

3) You can never turn off the advertising. Not even when you're asleep. It. JUST. KEEPS. GOING.

4) Worse, the advertising is in a language you don't speak!


5. everytime you think something it googles it, imagine the horrible rogue thoughts

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

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6) You inherit the previous owner's browsing history.


(Oops, skipped a number.)

8) That new reactionware/bodyware is interacting weirdly with your somatic nervous system. Now, when you're focused on another task or nervous/anxious, you find your body sometimes just wants to move. You'll find yourself compulsively tapping your fingers/hands/tentacles on the inactive spots of the ship's console, or you'll bounce your leg while sitting. Or it unexpectedly puts a little swing into your steps.

It's nothing that'll make you step out in front of the mag-lev way, or disrupt your Piloting/Gunnery during critical moments. But it might start to irritate your teammates. And it might make you more memorable when you're just trying to walk inconspicuously through an area anonymously/as Joe Enlisted Crewman.

Scarab Sages

9) You develop a taste for Ysoki Polka music. Is it from the previous owner? You'll never know now...

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

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10) The clock is wrong and you can't figure out how to change it.

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder Tales Subscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber

7.) You start having weird issues with non-binary numbers.


12.) You new cybernetic arm is possessed by the ghost of the cybered-up bad guy you killed and attempts to strangle you.

13.) Gangrene. Eugh.


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14) Your cybernetic arms keep flashing gang signs when you walk around in Absalom Station's slums. You're beginning to get concerned that nobody ever seems to return them.

15) The tympanic cluster you had implanted keeps overcompensating for music that's not playing anymore. You only figured out that's what it was when the negative-echo became apparent while you were listening to white noise.

16) Your hideaway limb's cover was previously installed on an android with 'invisible' conduits running through it, making it blatantly obvious where it is under a blacklight.

Scarab Sages

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17. You find you REALLY like this cyberware. You never want to give it up, never want to let it down, never want to say goodbye to it, never want to....


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18. You find yourself attached to an unfamiliar body, one that has memories of killing you and harvesting you for parts...


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Jelloarm wrote:
111.) You start having weird issues with non-binary numbers.

FTFY


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19) At least once a day, you experience a mild hallucination that whatever you are currently drinking or eating tastes like (and has the consistency of) a inoffensively bland slurry of plant-based single-celled protein combined with synthetic amino acids, vitamins, and minerals. While it's marginally amusing (at first), you do wonder if you would be able to discern food-borne toxins or pathogens while the glitch has kicked in.


2 people marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber; Pathfinder Comics Subscriber

20- Your limbs have minds of their own and sometimes have to be beaten into submission, Dr. Strangelove style.


21. your mental augmentations randomly play Rick Ashley in your head in perfect Castrovelan

Silver Crusade

22. The previous owner tweaked the responsiveness of your "new" arm beyond the normal ranges by altering the firmware. You think you've calibrated it for yourself, but it subtly swings wide and you press buttons a little too hard until you figure out what is up.


1 person marked this as a favorite.

23. You used previously owned neural components for your exocortex and now your A.I. is the mental ghost of the previous owner of the neural components and you can't change it.

Grand Lodge

Pathfinder Tales Subscriber; Starfinder Charter Superscriber

24. The augmentation has a short wire that will sometimes connect and heat up the augmentation to dangerous levels. Whenever you roll a natural one, the augmentation will deal 1d6 fire damage to anything that is touching it - including the wearer.


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25. After your team took out that flying security drone, you didn't think much about it when you pried loose its unusual-looking optical sensor and slipped it into your coverall pocket. Shortly thereafter, it was joined by a couple prismatic-coated security cards (even though they were useless). No biggee, just nullzero-looking souvenirs, mementos of a job done well. Then when you were back on The Station, you kept the junk-bodger flamer from the gob tough who tired to stab-n-grab ya. But you couldn't deny you had a problem when on the next job, you just couldn't leave that dead vesk there without gouging out four of his custom photochromic-skinned brow spurs. You were so good and resisted for just over a week.

And now you sit here in your tiny flat, the freshly-stolen darklight mirrorball from that ysoki hopdance club as the new centerpiece in your shiny horde. You can feel a fresh headache coming on as your rub the still slightly tender regen'ed skin around your weeks-old refurbished datajack...


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26. This particular piece of cyberware uses baby seals in its manufacture and you get buttonholed by rights activists in safe and upscale areas (or undead in the manufacture/on Eox, etc.)

Silver Crusade

27. The previous owner set up the ocular module to react to facial muscle twitches. Now that facial tic you have when you get stressed keeps triggering maximum-zoom mode.

Scarab Sages

28. The flames from your firebreath implant leave a strong, lingering odor of cheap beer.


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Pathfinder Adventure Path Subscriber

29. That new HUD implant you obtained from that crazy goblin you slaughtered displays an Id10t Error whenever you fail any skill check.


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30. Your new cybernetic limbs must be detached every twelve hours for four hours in order to recharge properly.

31. Your new cybernetic eyes come with a mature content filter.


Barbarossa Rotbart wrote:
31. Your new cybernetic eyes come with a mature content filter.

The horror !

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

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32) You keep getting comm calls for the previous owner. Some of them refuse to believe they have a wrong number.


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33) You occasionally break into a spastic fit of dancing; Some days its the Sprinkler, some days the Carlton, some days the Hammer-dance. (Mostly, you resemble a random sampling of a typical day in a certain Sci-Fi Action-Shooter social area...)


34. The neurocomp has a lot of data in it relating to an embarrassing hobby or profession.

35. The hand on the cyber arm is a drone with unknown programming no prone to detaching and crawling off to do mysterious tasks.

RPG Superstar 2008 Top 32

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36) It has a vibrate setting. You try not to think about this.


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Ross Byers wrote:
36) It has a vibrate setting. You try not to think about this.

37) It ALSO has interrupt the prevents you from NOT thinking about this...

Scarab Sages

38. Your giant killer cyber-claw keeps switching back to its "Julienne fries" setting.


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39. Whenever you activate the speed suspension, it plays the theme song to some video series that only elves would remember if not for a couple attempts in recent decades to revive it as a holovid and later trivid flick. And if you have to hear that STUPID bugle just ONE MORE TIME...

40. Whoever owned the datajack before you did rigged it into a speaker that broadcasts whatever earworm you have in your head. 24 hours later.


41.) A second Gap occurs.


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42. Your neural implant gives you the answer to the great question of life, the universe and everything. Sadly, it cannot tell you what the question was... ;)

Scarab Sages

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43. Your esophageal microphone implant makes you spout words in a language you don't otherwise know when you get upset.

Yes, I know, it's the Oracle's Tongues Curse, but try to think more along the lines of "Ricky Ricardo after he finds out Lucy's been up to shenanigans."

44. YOUR. BRAIN. HURTS!


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I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:


44. YOUR. BRAIN. HURTS!

But the human brain feels no pain!

Who says your brain is still human?


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FirstChAoS wrote:
I'm Hiding In Your Closet wrote:


44. YOUR. BRAIN. HURTS!

But the human brain feels no pain!

Who says your brain is still human?

45.) But... the thing I attached was an arm, not a brain...


46. The x-ray vision feature of your eye implants is always on...

Silver Crusade

Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

47. When you fail a skill check, the implant makes an annoying air-horn noise to mock you.

Scarab Sages

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48. Your new cybernetic arm takes the form of a googly-eyed sock puppet, and it mocks you whenever it feels like it.


49. Being mocked by augmentation purists who feel each implant should be tailor made to be he individual to reflect their personality.


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50. Your neural implant translates everything you say and her into Klingonese, a language no one, not even you, can understand.

Scarab Sages

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51. Your new central capacitor calculates everything in terms of something called "THAC0."

52. Due to an outdated programming error, the internal chronometer that coordinates all your other cybernetics tracks time based on only the last 2 digits of the present year, and when a new century finally rolls around, you go completely insane and everything you touch begins exploding.

Silver Crusade

1 person marked this as a favorite.
Pathfinder Adventure Path, Campaign Setting, Companion, Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game Subscriber

53. Some of the wiring in your sensory implants is crossed slightly, causing you to develop a condition almost like an artificial version of synesthesia.


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54. You're reasonably sure the former owner of this cyberarm either got hit with a horrific curse or really angered an especially talented hacker. Either way, every time you speak a word starting with the letter "P" it starts slapping you on the forehead and blares out five words starting with the letter "V" via a bass-enhanced internal speaker.

That, or the implant tech has a really twisted sense of humor, and you need to have a extensive discussion with them. Maybe one involving energy weapons.

"All right, we need to do this as stealthily as we can. I'll take point and--"

"VAINGLORIOUS! VIRGIN! VENAL! VAGABOND! VAGINA!" *slap slap slap slap slap*

"-- oh gods damnit, not again."


Zhameng wrote:

54. You're reasonably sure the former owner of this cyberarm either got hit with a horrific curse or really angered an especially talented hacker. Either way, every time you speak a word starting with the letter "P" it starts slapping you on the forehead and blares out five words starting with the letter "V" via a bass-enhanced internal speaker.

That, or the implant tech has a really twisted sense of humor, and you need to have a extensive discussion with them. Maybe one involving energy weapons.

"All right, we need to do this as stealthily as we can. I'll take point and--"

"VAINGLORIOUS! VIRGIN! VENAL! VAGABOND! VAGINA!" *slap slap slap slap slap*

"-- oh gods damnit, not again."

Okay that's just too funny, going to have to use that.

Scarab Sages

3 people marked this as a favorite.

55. Your cyberpelvis's internal gyroscopic balancing axis is severely misaligned, causing it to fall, at seemingly random intervals, into a repetitive, severe thrusting motion.

56. Your implant keeps making this noise. Neither you nor anyone else can figure out why.

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