111) Reroutes inner monologue to Loudhailer mode.
112) You won it in a laser poker game but now no one seems to fall for your bluffs any more.
113) You always set off the anti-theft detectors when leaving a shop.
114) The charging port is nonstandard, and you keep losing the cable it came with.
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115) The targeting assistance subroutine priorities favor humans, halflings, and kobolds, and nearly never targets a goblinoid if one is in the vicinity. It also targets women and children first, and seems to include bouncing off a wall as a legitimate combat maneuver.
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103. It emits that one high-frequency whine that some lights and electronics make that not everyone can hear.
If you can hear it, you know what I'm talking about.
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119. Appearently the previous owner of your new cyberfoot was right in the middle of a step dance and had his artificial limb programmed with an AI that takes the rythm of any noise as input.
Which isn't so bad in everyday use, it puts a spring in your steps.
Now though, you are step dancing to the rythm of laser fire and the pang of bullets hitting your cover.
120) Previous owner was constipated but the device is not receiving NTP properly so creates random emergency dumps.
121. The device was last owned by someone under a court order not to get drunk and fight, and is locked out from activating when you're under the influence.
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Well, that's an idea:
122. Your Datajack's previous owner was of a race whose native mathematics did not use the Base 10 model, causing you to sometimes confuse lists of numbers.
124) Your ocular implants come with a picture-in-picture HUD that you can't get to switch away from Tinker Time reruns.
128. Your Polyhand is a little degraded and so sometimes doesn't quite recall its programmed shapes exactly right, occasionally resulting in detrimental or unfortunate-looking forms.
129. Your Polyhand came pre-programmed with very questionable and inappropriate configurations courtesy of its previous owner. It is also incredibly difficult and time-consuming to reprogram and you need to cycle through each configuration to get to the one you want.
130. Your Polyhand for some reason has a wireless receiver which causes it to transform in response to adverts, entertainment, and other video signals it picks up, trying to mimic their content.
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131. Your shoulder-mounted laser-cannon no longer fires a laser beam, but instead serves as a portable umbrella stand.
132. Your positronic brain enables you to speed-read at an incredible rate, but also instills you with a tic that causes you to chant "Input! Input! Input!" while doing so.
133. Your Respiration Compounder makes accordion noises when you breathe too hard.
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127. Your cyberfinger occasionally emits a small voice that, apparently, only you can hear. It says very smart things and has lots of good ideas...at least you think they are.
“He’s been to the moon! *listens* Thank you. Twice!”
135. The previous owner of your camera eye implant was an insatiably curious tourist, and thanks to his settings still being active, the eye snaps pictures constantly. This wouldn’t be so bad if the camera flash could be turned off.
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127. Your cyberfinger occasionally emits a small voice that, apparently, only you can hear. It says very smart things and has lots of good ideas...at least you think they are.
{listens intently} My crossbows also think your cyberfinger is very smart.
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97. The Shirren who last owned this cyberlimb knew she was about to die, and snuck her larvae into the 'smugglers compartment' where one usually hides contraband. Fortunately it's only been a couple of days since the limb was 'creatively acquired' and resold to you, so the larvae remains healthy. Congratulations! You're a parent, ish, to a bug! <Cigar not included. Do not smoke around children.>
97a. The larvae shirren is aware of your surroundings and interactions. When you enter combat, the excited larvae telepathically urges you to launch your fist/foot at the enemy.
Edit: 97b. The larvae has reconfigured the wiring in your cyberlimb, allowing it to 1) tap into broadcasts of vintage trideo shows (especially ones involving giant mechs) every chance it gets, and 2) keep your limb refrigerated to a constant 7.2°C. It also "speaks" at length to any who will listen about the evils of the god Weydan, although it consistently mispronounces it as "WHEE dun."
97c. Quite to your surprise, the larva have unionized and now demand particular concessions from you. But don't worry, this means you can also cast summon swarm 1/day. Remember: when it comes to shirren larva swarm, it's not a bug, it's a feature.
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103) Your rather innocuous implant knows when you are getting aroused or are near someone you find attractive for carnal purposes. It attempts to help you by emitting random mating calls.
103a) Or what it thinks is appropriate mood music. Regrettably, this is rarely for the appropriate race/gender/social class.
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137. The maker of your cyber-wear either had an odd sense of humor, or no appreciation for humor. Whenever you make a comment that could be construed as funny (whether you meant it that way or not), the cyber-wear emits a 'Ba Dum Tish!' sound.
138. The maker of this cyberwear was a frat-boy, or liked to kill the mood. Whenever you say anything that could be construed as a 'pick up line' (or even say something that sounds like sexual innuendo), the cyberwear plays a 'Bow Chicka Wow Wow' sound.
140. Your neural implant slowly transforms you into a mindless cyber-zombie.
140. Your neural implant slowly transforms you into a mindless cyber-zombie.
I knew there had to be a catch in getting trideo-sim receiver headware. Oooo, new season of Bojack Hobgobman is available!... {turns on, tunes in, drools out}
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141) It lets you perceive space-time in more than three dimensions, and colors outside of the visible spectrum. Unfortunately, your brain can't handle the extra input, so all you get is a migraine.
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143) You've just discovered that your neuralware has an undocumented feature that allows you to excise and export unpleasant memories. This is both a blessing and a curse.
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143a) It will also do this automatically. You have discovered this feature no fewer than five times.
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142) your neural implant picks up trans-dimensional cable. This both a blessing and a curse.
144.) Your neural implant makes you convinced that this time, the human will win on Man vs. Car.
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140. Your neural implant slowly transforms you into a mindless cyber-zombie.I knew there had to be a catch in getting trideo-sim receiver headware. Oooo, new season of Bojack Hobgobman is available!... {turns on, tunes in, drools out}
o/` Back in the '90s I was in a very famous triiiviiid shoooow... o/`
146. Your neural implant often flashes you back to important moments in the previous owner's life.
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150. Your healing nanites are programmed to correct every deviation from preset parameters. Sadly these paramteres include everything including your DNA and brain patterns. So they turn you into a very beautiful adolescent elven girl. And you will stay that way for ever...
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151) You just don't like it that much, and want your original bio-part back. Shame it's rotting in the bottom of a red 'Biohazard' bin.
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152) You don't like it that much, and want your original bio-part back. Shame it's now attached to Sador Nestori, one of the most highly-skilled underground fighting champs in The Spike. But you're in luck: the kasatha has agreed to return the part to you if you can beat him in the fighting ring.
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153) It's missing a critical component, which is in the posession of the former owner's ex-wife. She hated the sonofa*****, but wants a first edition holodisk that's currently in the private collection of the CEO of a small holding company based off of Akiton, who needs you to negotiate a more favourable contract with his chief foreman, who's on the take from a local bandit group, which is trying to earn enough money to get off this stinking rock, but the local smuggling captain has a whiny solarion trainee that needs to get to Absalom Station to rescue a plucky envoy from a political prison, and the Armada won't let him past until they get assurances from the Station Council that they won't be held responsible, but the red tape around that decision could only be cut if they were able to find a resolution to the housing crisis being fomented by the...
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153) It's missing a critical component, which is in the posession of the former owner's ex-wife. She hated the sonofa*****, but wants a first edition holodisk that's currently in the private collection of the CEO of a small holding company based off of Akiton, who needs you to negotiate a more favourable contract with his chief foreman, who's on the take from a local bandit group, which is trying to earn enough money to get off this stinking rock, but the local smuggling captain has a whiny solarion trainee that needs to get to Absalom Station to rescue a plucky envoy from a political prison, and the Armada won't let him past until they get assurances from the Station Council that they won't be held responsible, but the red tape around that decision could only be cut if they were able to find a resolution to the housing crisis being fomented by the...
So the missing part is the plotting hook?
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153) It's missing a critical component, which is in the posession of the former owner's ex-wife. She hated the sonofa*****, but wants a first edition holodisk that's currently in the private collection of the CEO of a small holding company based off of Akiton, who needs you to negotiate a more favourable contract with his chief foreman, who's on the take from a local bandit group, which is trying to earn enough money to get off this stinking rock, but the local smuggling captain has a whiny solarion trainee that needs to get to Absalom Station to rescue a plucky envoy from a political prison, and the Armada won't let him past until they get assurances from the Station Council that they won't be held responsible, but the red tape around that decision could only be cut if they were able to find a resolution to the housing crisis being fomented by the...So the missing part is the plotting hook?
No, it's the trading quest...
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156. The maker of this piece of cyberwear made it for a friend with an extremely touchy sense of smell. It's got nanite 'smart-perfume' that goes off whenever it detects something that would have been considered malodorous to the original owner, who had a completely different sense of what smells good and what smells bad than you do. Smells that you typically enjoy (like roasting meat, if the original owner was a vegetarian and you are a Vesk barbecue-lover, or flowers, if the original owner had an allergic reaction to plant pollen and you are a Lashunta horticulturist) result in a quiet hiss as the device emits a fresh waft of something that turns your stomach, but is considered fragrant by races not you like 'Veski jas-musk, extracted from the male of this predator species from their homeworld during high must' or 'eye-wateringly stinky cheeses that only Ysoki can eat.' (Pick a race that isn't the new owner, obviously, for maximum incompatibility!)
The nanites synthesize the fragrance from your own sweat and ambient molecules, so, lucky you, it will never run out!