OK, I've come back to this item after letting my thoughts percolate for a while. I think it has a few mechanical flaws, but I really like what is being played with here. This is not the strongest of our top items but I really want to see what this author has for us.
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I don't think "alchemical grenade" is a game term. I assume he means "alchemical splash weapon."
This is really weird. I'm not sure if it's better to stick with the 1d6 energy resistance or just make it 5 so it's easy to remember/math/compare to other effects.
The only flag for me is that it's usable unlimited times per day. But if you want to spend 10 gp worth of acid to get acid resistance 1d6 for 1 minute, I guess that cost works out. You could drop a ton of money on alch splash weapons and give your army 1 minute to run across a damage hazard. Which I guess is okay
I'd like to see something about spilling the alchemical stuff from the goblet counting as throwing it in your square.
Contributor
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Star Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 7, Star Voter Season 9
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Welcome to the Top 32, BobROE!
This is a nifty item, and I hope the goblet transforms the alchemical liquid into something palatable (definitely not "grape-flavored" cough syrup). This item almost gets the formatting 100% correct (the omission of commas in the prices being the only misstep I can spot). I think you could have spared a few words about the mechanics of keeping the liquid from spilling, but that's something a GM can make up on the fly (unless there are rules out there for that, in which case, mea culpa). The only other (minor) issue I have is the variable resistance; in my opinion, it would have been cleaner to go with resist energy 5 (or 3 to split the difference). Again these are minor concerns about an otherwise exceptional item.
Best of luck to you for the remainder of the contest!
Bearer not barer.
At first I thought that this wouldn’t work with alchemist’s fire, because the fire will begin to burn immediately when the bottle is opened and exposed to air, but in searching the Core Rulebook and Adventurer’s Armory I couldn’t find that stated. Ultimate Equipment; however, restored my initial reservations. See page 106. This is a fun item otherwise. Perhaps you don’t pour the alchemist’s fire into the goblet as much as just set the vial it in the cup.
First of all, congratulations on making the Top 32! That in itself is a major accomplishment and it’s something you should take great pride in. You rock!
Not much left to say about this one. It's a neat concept: absorbing an alchemical item and turning it into a form of energy resistance. I like Sean's idea of leaving the resistance to 5, but that's because math hates me. I think you missed a design opportunity by limiting the effect to alchemical liquids related to a type of energy. What about other alchemical substances? Imagine drinking a tanglefoot bag to gain freedom of movement, or drinking poison to gain a neutralize poison effect? I guess that might be challenging to do in under 300 words. My tangental ruminations aside, nice work and best of luck going forward!
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This item just does too little for me. Mechanically, spending 20 GP to get fire resistance (That might be as low as fire resist 1) for a minute is probably fine, but it's only really useful to a very, very low level party, I think. And, at 2000 GP, it's probably well priced out of their range.
To anyone who could afford the item, it's not really that useful. There are better ways to spend 2000 GP.
I like the concept, the description, and the mechanics. While 2,000 gp to buy one of these could be steep for a 1st or 2nd level, finding this in a baddy's treasure chest is completely within reason and it would be useful.
As mentioned before, bearer not barer.
I also really like the fact that it is not exclusive to alchemists or a certain class.
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I don't recall seeing that one during voting. Ah, well, one of the items that avoided me.
I admit that 1d6 points of energy resistance for one minute is not something that I'd dream of as a PC. Also, unless exposed to continuous energy damage I'd rather invest in wands of infernal healing and healed the damage.
The basic idea of goblet that transforms alchemical items into some nice buff is very nice, however.
Hey, this is one I didn't see either. It's a cool idea! And I wonder if it would work with holy water or alchemist's bombs...?
I think I recall seeing a few other items that toyed around with energy resistance in a similar fashion, but this definitely pulled it off the best! Congrats, Adam!
I wasn't very impressed with this item, though I did think it was neat. However, every time I saw this item during voting, it was always better than what it was paired with. I'm a big fan of neat ideas and thinking outside the box, so I'll be looking forward to future submissions by you.
Elemental Chalice is my vote for a name :)
Nice to see something different being done with alchemical items. Good work.
I like Headkase's suggestion. I'm a big fan of items that don't have "of" in their name.
Congratulations.
Interesting but seems like a pretty expensive niche item for Resistance 3 or 4 for a minute to deal with a minor elemental obstacle or challenge like a flaming pool or magically cold doorway.
I thought the resistance should be a little higher and fixed say Resistance 5 for 3 - 15 Minutes for more utility every time I saw it. Mostly depends on the campaign or adventure path regarding general utility. Looking forward to your archetype.
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Adam,
You've presented an interesting mechanic for interaction between alchemical and magical items. I have to agree with Cheers on the numbers though. It's a pretty steep price for an item, plus the cost of the consumable, with the chance of getting resistance 1 for only a minute. Congratulations, and good luck in the next round.
This was a so-so item for me. I voted for or against it depending on what it was up against.
The usefulness seemed limited, and at the same time I specifically did not like that you could store the effect for later use. I would have preferred that it be a decision that had to be made in the moment.
I kind of waffled on this one as well. I liked some of the ideas behind it, but I felt it needed some tweaking to really pop. The mechanics are interesting, and I did think this was more interesting than many of the "insert item into this item" items.
Regardless, I think you've shown that you have an interesting approach to design, so I look forward to seeing what you have to offer in the next round. Kudos!
I wasn't a big fan of the 1d6 energy resistance, but this was a cool item that used alchemical gear in a neat way.
Congratulations and I'll see you in Round 2!
As prior entries will tell you, Template Fu is one mean point eating machine, but will also praise where praise is due.
These reviews being this in depth usually take me a while to do and they get fitted in around other demands on my time, so please bear with me if I haven’t gotten to your item yet. I will get there in the end.
There are a couple of feedback categories that are easy to score high on as I do like everyone to get a good grade somewhere, conversely, there are also some categories that will sting everyone – you have been warned ;)
Review Caveat: I try to keep things totally dispassionate and all comments herein are my own. Having not made the illustrious levels that you have achieved this year, I can only caveat that anything I propose in feedback may not be totally in line with what Paizo thinks or needs of its freelance game designers, so do consider carefully any and all feedback I make under this light.
I start your review with…
Congratulations on being selected by the public at large and then the stalwart judges!
Review Breakdown:
Template: 4/5
Hungry! Ohhhh close – ah-ha! Munch a point – comma’s in numbers of 1,000 and greater. Fed now, Fu is happy.
Spelling: 4/5
Everyone should know to use US English, so you just know that I am going to eat points for stray ‘u’ letters and similar.
Wrong word: bearer not barer – no naked adventurers please! Munch, munch, chew.
Readability: 2/5
For me, I believe the rule system target comprehension level is 11 year olds and up, so I have included this to review everyone’s entry using the MS Word Grammar scoring system which measures passivity, and the reading scores that determine age comprehension. Then using my self appointed expectation of target comprehension level, I have tried to score everyone consistently in this category as it is an area whereby I can mathematically deduce a score.[/i]
Passive Sentences 42% (- 1 pt)
There are whole threads on this and it is possible to get 0%, which is wicked, but I would expect scores of less than 20% to be around the ideal mark for item descriptions (sometimes, you need the passive, but only rarely).
Flesch Reading Ease 44.1 (-1 pt)
(0-30 best understood by university graduates, 60-70 easily understood by 13-15 year olds, 90-100 easily understood by 11 year olds)
Flesh-Kincaid Grade Level 13.0 (-1 pt)
(This equates to the grades found in the US schooling system, e,g. 8.2 means it should be understandable by the average 8th grade student)
Me as a Designer Review: 3/5
The mood setting item description ends clumsily – I think at minimum there should be an “a” between “into” and “protective”. I am not sure about alchemical grenade as a game term, is it an item in some equipment book I have missed? I wonder if you mean alchemical solution/liquid.
The default item activation action is a standard action, so most often, you don’t need to state it is a standard action, you need only state when it isn’t.
The second paragraph mentions pouring an alchemical liquid and gives the fire, acid, and ice examples, which is good, but it doesn’t say what happens if a non energy based liquid is poured in – for example, would pouring a poison grant some sort of poison immunity? What happens if a beneficial liquid is poured in, does it reverse that into a harming effect?
Ignoring the standard action already mentioned, you repeat yourself saying drinking the liquid is a standard action – it appears in paragraphs 2 and 3 – and then again in 4 – I did wonder in the fourth paragraph that you meant possibly a move action to pass the goblet over to your ally who then drinks (the already known standard action) the liquid.
I feel these questions would occur at the gaming table and so feel the item is incomplete as it stands.
Template Fu happily dines on 2 points in this category.
Overall Impression: 3/5
There was great attention to the template including the spell italicising and alphabetising the sort of them – well done on that score.
The name was purely functional and helps as a reminder to what the item does when on your character sheet, which I like.
That said, the entry, for me, is marred by the unanswered questions and potential game play issues that would crop up using this item in it’s current form.
Final Score: 16/25
I won’t give a final score comment as I haven’t reviewed all the items in this detail yet, I suggest that if it interests, you can watch as I progress through the items to see your final placement in my review scoring system.
Closing, as I started…
Congratulations on being selected!
I think I've upvoted this like 20 times during the voting period, you just kept coming back for more votes.
This is a very simple, yet effective item. There are obviously some concerns about unlimited uses, but being that it's powered by items with a price that will eventually matter. I like it.
My biggest concern is "1d6 resistance" It would make life easier if it were 5, or even 3 points of resistance all the time. But all things considered, that's a minor thing.
Not going to bash the points already hammered, I agree with many of the points stated. Digest and learn from the feedback (I certainly will apparently the community hates variable numbers.)
Congrats on making the top 32. I upvoted this a few times it was always better than its competition.
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An interesting concept with good attention to action economy. I'll echo Tom Phillips' desire to see details for using other alchemical items with this item. Flat resistance 5 might work better than 1d6 for consistency's sake, since resistance is typically granted to creatures in increments of 5.
Be careful of homophones in your writing (barer vs. bearer), as Steve noted. It's always a good idea to have a strong grammarian proof your work before submission.
Also, it's preferable to spell out durations and distances completely in the item's description - 1 minute or 10 feet, not 1 min. or 10 ft.
You lost the point for barer instead of bearer - spelling seems to be the best place to put it - hope that helps.
I am a hardcore alchemist fan (I want to play like 12 of them!). Too bad this item didn't show up while I was voting. It is awesome, Mos of my to-be alchemist characters would definitely use that a lot!.
Congratulations!, good luck with your archetype!
Spelling: Spelling: 4/5
Everyone should know to use US English... <snip> ...Flesh-Kincaid Grade Level... <snip>
If you evaluate someone else's spelling and base your judgement upon it, it would be wise to check your own spelling.
There are other people on the world - not just AE-speaking folks.
No pun intended. ;)
Star Voter Season 6
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You lost the point for barer instead of bearer - spelling seems to be the best place to put it - hope that helps.
"Barer" isn't the British spelling of "bearer". It's just the wrong word.
barer comparative of bare (Adjective)
Adjective
1.(of a person or part of the body) Not clothed or covered.
2.Without the appropriate, usual, or natural covering: "bare floorboards".
I don't think there was any problem with the author not using American English.
Good theme.
Simple idea and cheap to buy or make.
I like items that can come in handy at all levels,and this one can fit the bill. Give's a good reason for a high level party to keep and use those alchemical items.
Smart choice to aim for alchemical items, as they seem to be in short supply overall. I would say this item just squeaked in though, so bring your A-game in the archetype round.
I, for one, will happily champion the random resistance value. I like when magic has variation. For it to work exactly the same way every time is boring -- my players love to roll their dice.
Of course, I didn't make the top 89, so take my advice with a grain of salt. ;)
This is really cool. I love how this is a low-level items that actually does something; unlike most level items which only provides a numerical bonus, this one is cool because it opens new options up to players.
I'm not sure that 'Goblet of Elements' is actually a fitting name, however; true, you can get a variety of resistances from it, but that seems to be more a property of the item poured into it than a property of the goblet to me.
RPG Superstar 2013 Top 32
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Marathon Voter Season 8
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I personally am a huge fan of alchemical items. I agree with a lot of the comments here, and see a lot of potential for expanding these items. Maybe if you added more doses of the alchemical item it could increase the protection offered or the duration? Maybe you could mix two different items to get a unique effect? The core of this item is a fantastic idea.
1) I was never super thrilled with the name, and after reading a post that SKR put up on his FB page, this should probably be called "Goblet of Energy Resistance" or something to that effect.
BTW, my post was not in response to you. I had two freelancers use "elements" that way on the same day, which prompted my post. :)
This item takes me back to the days of the Gauntlet arcade game where you could either throw the potion as a weapon, or consume it for protection, and that makes it cool.
Congrats.
Congratulations Adam,
I remember reading this and thinking they were cool, but I dinnae move them to my keep folder. I think it is because of the name. I love the concept, the exaction was good, and I think the utility and low level makes it a great area to design in.
suggestions for later rounds: set the hook, work on names (but you knew that already :)
Nice job and good luck.