I'm one of the alternates (Benjamin Medrano, with the Chalice of Eternal Fire) and don't see any feedback other than what I got from the Critique thread, so if I could, I'd appreciate some feedback on my item.
DOH! So...... very..... close.....
Please give me the feedback for the Vest of Second Skin.
Also, requesting feedback means you won’t be able to submit this item next year, as the judges will know who you are and therefore your item won’t be anonymous anymore.
According to this new rule, isn't everyone unable to resubmit an item, whether they made the Keep pile or requested feedback or not?
Hey, folks! Here's a very early heads-up for a new addition to future RPG Superstar competitions:
You won't be able to re-submit an item you submitted in a previous competition.
Why?
One, because getting the judges and community to help you fix your item means the item isn't just your work any more.
Two, because by posting your item or its name in a request for feedback, your username is now associated with that item, which breaks anonymity. The judges can't objectively judge items unless the submissions are anonymous to us.
(Also, every year when we get a resubmission, we have to ask Ross to check the person's identity against who submitted it before, just to make sure someone isn't posting an item written by someone else. This new rule means we don't have to worry about that.)
We could just say "no resubmission if you got public feedback on the item," but that would discourage people from asking for feedback. So, to encourage feedback but maintain fairness and anonymity, no more resubmissions are allowed.
Ask for feedback. Take it to heart. Use what you learned to create something new--and better.
Also, requesting feedback means you won’t be able to submit this item next year, as the judges will know who you are and therefore your item won’t be anonymous anymore.According to this new rule, isn't everyone unable to resubmit an item, whether they made the Keep pile or requested feedback or not?
Yes, I just pointed it out in the blog in case readers didn't see it in the forums.
Yes, I just pointed it out in the blog in case readers didn't see it in the forums.Also, requesting feedback means you won’t be able to submit this item next year, as the judges will know who you are and therefore your item won’t be anonymous anymore.According to this new rule, isn't everyone unable to resubmit an item, whether they made the Keep pile or requested feedback or not?
Cool. Didn't want someone to pass up the chance at feedback under the mistaken impression they could polish and resubmit the item next year if they didn't break anonymity.
Yes, I just pointed it out in the blog in case readers didn't see it in the forums.Also, requesting feedback means you won’t be able to submit this item next year, as the judges will know who you are and therefore your item won’t be anonymous anymore.According to this new rule, isn't everyone unable to resubmit an item, whether they made the Keep pile or requested feedback or not?
I'll also add this point to my template thread then Sean, that way everyone gets told in multiple places :)
I would love to get feedback on my Gunhunter's Coin, please.
I'd love to see feedback on the Gunhunter's Coin. I'm very curious to even know what this does.
Sean,
As the (now very proud) designer of the "Torc of Zealous Tenacity" I welcome any advice you might give me.
What I think I failed to do right was this: add mojo, I had lots of words to spare but did not use them.
The item came to me in a rush and ofcourse the moment I submitted it I thought of several ways to make it better: 1) change the name to: Torc of Tenacious Zeal 2) maybe play around with the Iron Will feat - offering a bonus on the DC 13 Wisdom check to avoid gaining the disabled or dying condition.
This is the second year in a row that I made the keep folder, looking forward to year 6!
Thanks Sean,
This rocks! As if we needed another reason why Paizo (and Superstar) are awesome! :)
But what about the egos of everyone telling themselves "I may not be top 32 or one of the three alternates, but I bet I was #36!"
Well I was #37, twice!
True ... but now people not on the above list can't console themselves with "I was close ... so close ..."
Because they weren't actually that close :)
Mirror of Monstrous Echoes is mine. I like to think that if not for being so similar to Haunting Glass and Spellblight Cage, and somewhat similar to Basilisk's Eye Sight, it might have made it. I'm certainly glad to have made it into the Keep pile.
Wow, this is pretty cool!
It would be awesome to see your feedback on my Dust of the Shaitan
This is my first Superstar that I have ever entered into and I made it close. That really boosts by ego.
Just goes to show you should never count yourself out.
Congrats to all the almosts, I hope to see my name up there next year, at least. ;)
I Submitted Shelyn's Thrush, and would love some feedback on the item.
I'm one of the alternates (Benjamin Medrano, with the Chalice of Eternal Fire) and don't see any feedback other than what I got from the Critique thread, so if I could, I'd appreciate some feedback on my item.
Here's your item:
Nitpick: The slot listing should be "none" rather than a dash, but that's because Paizo's changed its style rule for slotless wondrous items in the most recent printing of the book, so this is just an FYI for future work.
The physical description of this item is strong--clear, evocative, to the point, though you could easily combine the first two sentences into one.
Nitpick: The term is "focus component," not "material focus."
Because it's not really a weapon, I'd avoid using the term "wielder," as informally the game uses that term for holding weapons and shields, and implies you're actively using the item in combat. Instead, use "bearer." (If magic items were written using "you," like feats are, this wouldn't be an issue for many items in the game.)
It's a little weird that you explain one of the item's abilities, then say how many charges the item has, then go on to explain its other abilities. It's better to organize all the abilities together and put the charge/recharge info either before or after that.
Increasing the max Hit Dice of a called creature is problematic because those limits are in the game to prevent "easy" access to creatures like balors and pit fiends--you can't call them with greater planar ally, you have to use gate--and this item allows you to break that limit, up to three times a day. It's also unclear if that +2 HD is per creature, or per spell (can you conjure two creatures at +1 each, or is it +2 each?). Instead of pushing the boundaries of that game rule, you could give the creature a bonus like Augment Summoning, which is an established rule that players understand. Of course, then this item becomes a feat-in-a-can, which is frowned upon, so you should consider dropping this ability entirely.
For the ability to add the advanced simple template to a summoned fire creature likewise runs up against the Augment Summoning feat: we already have an established rule for buffing summoned creatures; creating your own rule means a player could use that feat and this ability to create a powerful summoned creature... up to three times per day. Again, that would mean turning the item into a feat-in-a-can, and you should consider dropping this ability.
The "torrent of fire" ability is odd because the radius is nonstandard, especially as you list fireball as one of your construction spells. Best to stick with 20 ft. radius (like fireball). It's also unclear if this is a sphere or cylinder because you're giving a flavorful description of the effect rather than pointing at an existing spell--you've already changed fireball so it's not a 20 ft. burst, so I don't know if you've changed it further into a cylinder. You probably were trying to avoid this being a SIAC, but there are advantages to using existing mechanics--for Superstar, the trick is using those as a scaffolding to build something cool.
It's also weird that this item is CL 10th, but does 8d6 damage. Part of the point of having a caster level in the item stat block is so you can have the item's abilities use the same caster level, which for most direct-damage area spells would be 1d6 per caster level.
It's weird to say that drinking the flames makes you resistant to fire and cold... most hot creatures are resistant/immune to fire and either affected normally by cold or vulnerable to cold. As this is a planar-themed item, you should look at planar fire monsters like fire elementals and efreet, which have fire immunity and cold vulnerability--there's no precedent for cold resistance there. For this item, just skip the cold aspect and focus on the fire. And at 50,000 gp, realistically you can't expect a character to own this until their total WBL is about 150,000, which puts them at 13th-14th level at minimum. At that level, they probably have a ring of minor energy resistance for 12,000 gp and 10 points of protection, or carry potions, scrolls, or prepared spells of resist energy (and at that caster level, the scroll or spell provides resistance 30), so this item needs to (1) be comparable to those items in order to be worthwhile, and (2) use a standard energy resistance increment so it's not weird*.
Plane names, such as "Plane of Fire," are capitalized.
The "damage creatures that hit you" is like fire shield, but isn't quite like that spell, which is also weird*. And you don't reference fire shield in the construction section, so the user isn't sure if other aspects of the spell apply (for example, if the attacker has spell resistance). This is another place where referencing the actual spell would help you... and where sticking to the item's caster level would be helpful (because fire shield lasts 1 round/level and this lasts 10 minutes, so it's hard to price this aspect of the item).
With the nice physical description and some cool thematics, I think you could strip this item down to the +1 fire caster level and drink-for-fire-shield aspects, perhaps with the fire explosion, too, or adding some other power related to fire or summoning (perhaps it can summon a fire elemental to serve you, either with summon monster or as a focus for planar ally or planar binding. As Neil has proven, a mostly-SIAC item with cool flavor can make it into the Top 32. I think the main fault of this item is it tries to avoid being a SIAC by changing familiar game rules, but that left some rough spots where not everything is explained.
* As Jonathan Tweet says, "things should be the same, or different." In other words, if your new rule is really close to an existing rule, either change your rule so it's exactly like that rule, or make it very different so people don't confuse the two rules. That's why all the combat maneuver feats give you a +2 instead of one giving +1, one giving +3, one giving +6 but not erasing the AOO, and so on--it's easier to remember "all of these feats give +2 and erase the AOO" than six individual feats with different bonuses. Thus, if you're going to give energy resistance, make it easier for people to remember by giving it resistance 10, 20, or 30, just like the default spells and items do. Minimize the amount of looking-up the player needs to do in-game.
DOH! So...... very..... close.....
Please give me the feedback for the Vest of Second Skin.
Here's your item.
First of all, I didn't like this item. We generally reject "monster in a can" magic items, and to me this is just 10 different monster abilities that you can use--Clark dubbed it the very first "Swiss army monster knife." And some of which are also spell effects, so it's a SIAC as well. But the purpose of these critiques is to help you improve your item, so the super-short version is: this item tries to do too much, you really need to tone it down and focus on fewer abilities so it's not such a grab bag of abilities. Most of this you could accomplish with a handful of scrolls, and wouldn't use your chest item slot for it.
You did a GREAT job with the magic item template; stuff that should be capitalized is capitalized, stuff that should be in italics is in italics, and stuff that shouldn't be either of these isn't. I have veteran designers who still goof this up, so good job!
There's no reason why this item has to be actual skins or be "gruesome," though that's the sort of flavor you could apply to a unique copy of a general type of magic item (just as you could have an evil necromancer's cloak of resistance be made out of tanned elf skin, for example). The ick-factor of the vest of skin may make many PCs not want to wear it, especially as it draws on the powers of various outsiders--a paladin probably doesn't want to wear something that has actual chunks of flesh from a demon or devil on it. This could just as easily be tokens strung on a necklace, or patches of cloth or leather on a vest, and so on. I realize that skins is your theme for this item, so we'll roll with it.
All of the individual abilities and their monster associations make sense, though it's a little weird that you have "demon" and "chaotic outsider" in that list... those generic outsider categories are weaker inclusions than actual outsider types or even specific outsiders (bone devil, vrock, and so on)--that would make it cooler.
Activating a magic item defaults to a command word, which is a standard action. Your item requires a free hand and spending a full-round action, which is weird, and probably means people are less likely to want to use the item because nobody likes to spend their turn doing nothing (not even a move) while their defensive magic item activates (especially when the defense only lasts 1 combat, and combats usually only last 4-5 rounds, so you're giving up 20-25% of your actions for a small, conditional defense). Better to let it be a command word and a standard action.
Ability scores, such as Charisma, are always capitalized.
Statements like "the growth of the second skin causes 1 point of charisma damage and 1d4 points of damage" can be confusing because the second damage type isn't specified and you've already said damage, so the reader could be confused ("Does that second damage refer to more Charisma damage?"). Normally for effects with multiple damage types we list the hit point damage first, then other times, and say "hit point damage" to differentiate the two. Also, Paizo style is to say that effects deal damage or inflict other harmful effects, rather than using causes, so this should read "the growth of the second skin deals 1d4 hit points of damage and 1 point of Charisma damage."
I think your construction spells focus too much on preserving the skins and not enough on activating the relevant abilities stored in those skins--I'd want to at least see a reference to resist energy.
SIAC/SAK items have a place in the game, but they're not as exciting as items that do more interesting things. Personally, if I were to make this item more sexy, I'd choose a narrower list of powers, not have it be consumable, and let the wearer choose from any one of those effects at a time, perhaps with side effects relating to that. For example, it could give you your choice of DR/chaos, DR/evil, DR/good, or DR/law, but you'd detect as the opposite alignment when doing so, and perhaps bane weapons would affect you as the appropriate kind of outsider.
Of course, odds are the wearer wouldn't need DR/good and DR/evil in the same item (in most campaigns, it's unusual to fight both kinds of creatures), so instead of offering all four alignments, maybe thematically this item would be better if it were focused on a specific kind of outsider. Frex, if it were a vest of demon skin, you could switch between DR/good, DR/law, and resist electricity 30, but detect as evil or chaotic (depending on which of the first two powers are used) and can be harmed by chaotic outsider bane and evil outsider bane weapons. That opens the doors for "sequel" items such as devil skin, protean skin, and so on. That also lets you have an evil dude wearing a vest of archon skin and detecting as a lawful good creature...
Anyway, there you go. :)
It's looking like it might be a moot point for this year, but I would like to see your feedback for my Gloves of Item Domination.
Thanks.
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Lord, take me downtown. I'm just lookin' for some thrush.
I Submitted Shelyn's Thrush, and would love some feedback on the item.
I don't know if you knew this or not, but thrush is also the name of a fungal infection of the mouth and tongue, so.....the name kinda would seem to beg ridicule and/or corny jokes.
I'm not trying to rag you or anything; on the contrary, I salute you guys that put yourself out like this.
I'm one of the alternates (Benjamin Medrano, with the Chalice of Eternal Fire) and don't see any feedback other than what I got from the Critique thread, so if I could, I'd appreciate some feedback on my item.Here's your item:
*snip*
Thank you for the feedback. I'd considered a few of the things, but I'm definitely willing to learn, and this helps a lot. Thank you very much Sean. *bows*
I'd be exceptionally happy to receive an in-depth critique of my item, the walking stick of the revered elder.
I look forward to learning as much as possible from this and honing my RPG writing craft.
I Submitted Shelyn's Thrush, and would love some feedback on the item.I don't know if you knew this or not, but thrush is also the name of a fungal infection of the mouth and tongue, so.....the name kinda would seem to beg ridicule and/or corny jokes.
I'm not trying to rag you or anything; on the contrary, I salute you guys that put yourself out like this.
Hrmmm, so it is. I didn't even realize all the double meanings of the word. I was going for the little songbird, but I can see how the name would be problematic now.
I'd like to see any feed back for the gloves of theurgy.
Many thanks!
RPG Superstar 2009 Top 32
aka flash_cxxi
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...bring the pain... please.
Spoiler:
Aura moderate conjuration and necromancy; CL 9th
Slot wrists; Price 45,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.Description
Usually constructed from the stone or clay of temples and crypts, these bracers, engraved with symbols of life and death, each have a grey gem set in the wrist. Once per day, per bracer, a wearer with the channel energy ability can spend a full-round action to charge a gem by spending a daily use of that ability. Positive energy turns the gem bright white, while negative energy turns it pitch black. Once a gem is charged, the wearer can expend that charge to channel energy as a swift action instead of a standard action, and apply any appropriate feats and the specifics of their channel (such as healing or harming) at that time.Alternately, instead of using the charged gems to channel as a swift action, if each of the gems are currently still holding a charge the wearer can bring both of them together and speak a command word as a standard action to expend the stored energy into a ray of light or darkness (depending on what has been channeled into the gems) that deals 1d6 points of negative or positive energy damage per class level of the wearer’s class that has the channel energy ability to a single target with a ranged touch attack.
The energy channeled into a gem lasts until the following sunrise, and then fades away harmlessly if not used. A gem charged and expended during a period of sunrise to sunrise cannot be charged again until the following period of 24 hours.
Construction
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, breath of life, slay living; Cost 22,500 gpI think I now see a few places where I went wrong after reading feedback from some of the other items; I may have actually submitted a worse item this year than the item I submitted last...
Phew...
I was wanting to see what these did, because I am looking at doing an item that deals with Channeling and given the name of these I was a little worried that the brain monsters had been infiltrating my head and passing the info along! :)
Thankfully my worry was for naught...
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(I hadn't noticed this thread until I posted my item in the other critique thread and someone pointed me here. I'm simply reposting what I posted there, except for this little blurb. This is an honor in and of itself, and I feel good about my chances in the future; from the amount of feedback I got from my last year's submission it seems I may have made "keep" both times. Hopefully I'm on the right track. Anywho, w/out further ado...)
...bring the pain... please.
Aura moderate conjuration and necromancy; CL 9th
Slot wrists; Price 45,000 gp; Weight 5 lbs.
Usually constructed from the stone or clay of temples and crypts, these bracers, engraved with symbols of life and death, each have a grey gem set in the wrist. Once per day, per bracer, a wearer with the channel energy ability can spend a full-round action to charge a gem by spending a daily use of that ability. Positive energy turns the gem bright white, while negative energy turns it pitch black. Once a gem is charged, the wearer can expend that charge to channel energy as a swift action instead of a standard action, and apply any appropriate feats and the specifics of their channel (such as healing or harming) at that time.
Alternately, instead of using the charged gems to channel as a swift action, if each of the gems are currently still holding a charge the wearer can bring both of them together and speak a command word as a standard action to expend the stored energy into a ray of light or darkness (depending on what has been channeled into the gems) that deals 1d6 points of negative or positive energy damage per class level of the wearer’s class that has the channel energy ability to a single target with a ranged touch attack.
The energy channeled into a gem lasts until the following sunrise, and then fades away harmlessly if not used. A gem charged and expended during a period of sunrise to sunrise cannot be charged again until the following period of 24 hours.
Requirements Craft Wondrous Item, breath of life, slay living; Cost 22,500 gp
I think I now see a few places where I went wrong after reading feedback from some of the other items; I may have actually submitted a worse item this year than the item I submitted last year. Yay, regression!
I think I should have realized that when the players in the game I GM gave me feedback & told me they liked this item better than last year's item ;-P
(edit: ...or they could have been pretty close to right on the money, we shall see. Also just noticed Craig's post above me right before I submitted so sorry for the repetition.)
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...bring the pain... please.
** spoiler omitted **I think I now see a few places where I went wrong after reading feedback from some of the other items; I may have actually submitted a worse item this year than the item I submitted last...
Phew...
I was wanting to see what these did, because I am looking at doing an item that deals with Channeling and given the name of these I was a little worried that the brain monsters had been infiltrating my head and passing the info along! :)
Thankfully my worry was for naught...
The brain monsters that are under my control are purple and smell of fine cheese, just, you know, FYI.
Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7
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Whoa - this thread is awesome.
Double-whoa! My item is on here! *piddlespot* I was just happy that I stuck to my New Year's resolution and actually submitted.
Your feedback and criticsm of the Ponderous Pebble is highly desired. Thank you in advance for your time and willingness to share your expertise.
DOH! So...... very..... close.....
Please give me the feedback for the Vest of Second Skin.
Here's your item.
First of all, I didn't like this item. We generally reject "monster in a can" magic items, and to me this is just 10 different monster abilities that you can use--Clark dubbed it the very first "Swiss army monster knife." And some...
It takes an extraordinary person to take the time to critique an item that he didn't like. I am impressed.
I agree with everything you said except the part about resist energy. The magical powers were in the skins.
I originally had this designed as the bag of second skin but I thought it would be creepier if people could see the skin. I think it was because I was recently thumbing through The Hook Mountain Massacre. This would be an item you would see on one of the Grauls.
Thanks again for taking time to give me some pointers. I learned a lot about how you think as a designer.
I'm getting closer every year....
BTW, I haven't forgotten about this thread, I'm just bogged down with commenting on the 32 organizations, which I have to finish today so they can go live for voting tomorrow. I'll resume commenting here after that. :)
+1BTW, I haven't forgotten about this thread, I'm just bogged down with commenting on the 32 organizations, which I have to finish today so they can go live for voting tomorrow. I'll resume commenting here after that. :)Take your time. This is an awesome opportunity and we can wait.
Agreed.
I'll take you up on that offer Sean for the Stubborn Nail. I understand most of the reasons it did not make the final cut(ie. mundane name and too expensive for a glorified nail). I would be glad for any advice you have to offer.
Here is your item:
Clark didn't like the name--naming something after a real-world term tends to look almost like a joke. Even giving it a synonym like contrary nail is enough to dodge that problem.
Also, your item name is in ALL CAPS. When you see item names in the book, it looks like they're in all caps, but that's just a headline style. The R1 rules tell you not to put your item name in all caps--don't do it!
What broke this item for me are the cost and the DC. Your item's DC 10 + the hardness of all items, so if you push it through someone's leather strap into a stone wall, the Str check DC is 10 + 2 (leather) + 8 (stone) = 20. Or through a part of their metal armor (steel hardness 10), DC 28. Your item costs 12,000 gp. Compare to an immovable rod, which is a DC 30 Str check to move and costs 5,000 gp. For less than half the cost, I can jab an immovable rod into someone's gut to press them against the wall, activate it, and leave them unable to move from that location unless they make a huge Strength check.
And the rod has a dozen other uses (ladder, anchor point, doorstop, whatever), but the nail is really limited. For example, you couldn't use the nail as a ladder step, and you probably couldn't use it to hold a door shut or as an anchor point for a rope (it's not clear if you have to push the nail all the way into the anchoring surface, or if you can leave 2.5" of it sticking out).
Also, the rod lists how much weight it can support without moving; the nail does not, so if I use the nail to dangle an ogre off the top of a parapet, I don't know if the nail can support the monster's weight.
I like the item. I like the flavor of it. Unfortunately, I think it's mostly redundant compared to the rod, and costs more than double what the rod costs.
How to fix this item? Give it its own niche as a weaker version of the rod, as a consumable, or both. The rod is permanent and reusable. If the nail were a cheap item that can hold up to 500 pounds, and had more specific rules about depth limitations and tying stuff too it, but was only useable once, I think this would be a cool and useful item in its own right (heck, you could limit to 50 or 100 pounds and it would still be really handy for a halfling or gnome rogue wanting to climb). Throw in some suggestions about increasing a door's break DC when nailed shut, increasing a Disable Device DC when you press this into a lock, and so on, and you've given players ideas for using it and the GM ideas for what numerical bonuses are appropriate for using it. Go nutty and make them pitons instead of nails and you immediately increase their utility even further.
I love low-cost, low-level magic items, and with these tweaks I can imagine most parties carrying a few of them just in case, like how they carry alchemist's fire just in case they have to fight a swarm.
Honestly, Wicht, after doing that writeup on the nail, I want to put the low-cost expendable version of it in a book of magic items. :)
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Have Wicht write it up for you. I'm not sure if you met Jonathan at GenCon last year, but he's a trusted freelancer with Rite Publishing. And a friend of mine, as well.
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Dedicated Voter Season 6, Star Voter Season 7
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+1BTW, I haven't forgotten about this thread, I'm just bogged down with commenting on the 32 organizations, which I have to finish today so they can go live for voting tomorrow. I'll resume commenting here after that. :)Take your time. This is an awesome opportunity and we can wait.
+1.
I would love to get feedback on my Gunhunter's Coin, please.
Here is your item.
I thought it was a great idea to create an item that uses the gunslinger's grit mechanic (certain other archetypes use grit, of course, but it's primarily a gunslinger thing). You realized it was an untapped area for magic items, and realizing that shows a good awareness of what we call the "design space." It's like the first competition after the Pathfinder RPG Beta, where we introduced sorcerer bloodlines; one competitor submitted a wondrous item that fiddled with sorcerer bloodlines, and the judges loved it because it was an untapped area. Yes, it's a bit risky to do stuff relating to guns because a lot of the community doesn't like guns in fantasy gaming, but you saw that opportunity and went for it. Bravo! IIRC, there were fewer than five gunslinger-related submissions this year.
At its core, your item does two things: (1) gives a grit user 2 grit on a confirmed crit instead of the normal 1, and (2) gives a luck bonus to AC.
Ability 1, the boost to grit, is nice, but it's purely a mathematic bonus, like a +2 Strength belt or a +1 saves cloak. It's useful, but not exciting. to use the sorcerer bloodline example, this is the equivalent of an item that gives a sorcerer +1 use per day of her 1st-level bloodline power--useful, but not exciting. You want to kick it up a notch, probably by giving the character something cool he can do with grit, perhaps involving luck (to reinforce the "lucky coin" theme).
Ability 2, the luck bonus to AC, is where this item fell down for me. Your item costs 1,500 gp. If you check the table on Core Rulebook page 550, you'll see that the listing for "AC bonus (other)" (which includes luck bonuses) says the cost is bonus squared times 2,500 gp. So just for the +1 luck AC bonus alone, your item is supposed to cost 2,500 gp. That's before you add in the cost of the grit power and factor in that this is a slotless magic item. That's a major flaw and shows you weren't paying enough attention to item pricing. Note that a ring of protection +1 and an amulet of natural armor +1 cost 2,000 gp, and they're both slotted items using common bonus types; yours is unslotted and uses a rarer bonus type that's less likely to run into stacking issues with spells, and yet it costs less than these standard AC-boosting items. And, because it's a slotless magic item, there's no reason for a PC to not have one of these--it's a free +1 AC bonus from an item he can keep in his pocket, backpack, or even his show.
Step 1 for fixing this is to immediately adjust the price of that ability to 2,500 gp. Then factor in the cost of whatever grit power you give it. Then multiply that total by 2 because it's a slotless item (footnote 3 on for the table on page 550), and that's your final item Price.
Technical issues with your magic item stat block:
it should be "Slot none" instead of "Slot —" (but that's a nitpick, Paizo only started using "Slot none" in the most recent reprint of the Core Rulebook, so this is just an FYI going forward).
If an item has negligible weight, just list the weight as "—" without "lbs." (see ioun stone or scarab of protection for in-book examples).
In the second sentence of the description, you don't need a comma after "substance."
"Armor Class" is always capitalized.
We generally don't have the "wear for 24 hours to gain its effects" on most magic items, and yours doesn't need it.
Development summary: As written (with the Price fixed), this item would be a good addition to a book of magic items. To make it superstar, you need to make it "sexier" in terms of what it can do. You've proven you can spot barren areas in the "design space," now you just need to show you can build something cool there rather than something that's merely functional.
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Stuff
Thank you for all this.
I was worried about the pricing since that is an area where I am the most unfamiliar with. I think I was basing the price off of Bracers of Armor and upping the price a little since it was luck and the grit bonus, I guess I didn't go up enough.
Also this being my first entry in the Superstar competition I was a little wary of making it "to good" and wanted to make it a cheaper items since I personally prefer cheaper smaller items with more flavor than big expensive items with bland effects.
But I can definitely see that it could have used more umph, and as a note the original version had it so that you could spend grit to reroll a d20 roll like other "luck" based items and features. But alas I did not include it.
The part about "24 hours" was taken from the Ring of Sustenance, since the item wasn't slotted I wanted to make sure that it had some kind of requirement to use rather than just grab and use. But I can see that it isn't necessary.
So in the end lessons learned: Study up on costs, be a little less cautious with effects, and work on detail editing.