What do I mean by “stupid death?” Such pathetic ends lie in an ill-timed crit from an ogre at level 2. In the “oops I forgot to heal” between goblin fight #2 and goblin fight #3. And at higher level, in charging out for death and glory against a non-boss enemy without taking the time to buff, do a little recon, or think through a proper strategy.
So as a combination of heroic memorial and catalogue of cautionary tales, what do you say we share our own “stupid deaths?” Was it bad dice luck, or did you make a critical tactical blunder? Let’s hear all about your most derpy dearly departed PCs!
It was level three, and the gnome bard was marching at the back of the party. Them module specifically said that the lion would go after small and isolated PCs. Stealth + Pounce + Rake = dead before anyone got to act. Real friggin' fun, I tell you what.
Syr, also a Bard, couldn't bypass the DR of some Zombies with his Longspear... kept poking, but they kept coming... Syr had his guts pulled out of his mouth, and then was presumably eaten by the horde.
To date, Syr is the only character I have lost due to death of the character, and not the campaign. Every other character I have made has outlasted the campaign they were made for.
Had a 5e Paladin die from the Death Throes of a Balor in a little one-off, but that didn't count considering he was perfectly alive for the next actual story session of that campaign.
My list of stupid deaths is long, but I'll provide the highlights:
Kaeth, the Barrier Mage in 1e D&D: my buddy let me make up a bunch of "barrier" spells based loosely on spells from some Rolemaster supplements, then let me cobble together a kind of specialist Magic User that was part thief, part m-u. Two sessions in, turns out my buddy is secretly mad at me that players like MY campaign better than his (this is hs btw). I can't make it to a session; Kaeth (an elf mind you) goes into the elf trance thing instead of sleeping, other players think I'm dead and bury me; I suffocate in a shallow grave.
Fen Equitar, a 2e fighter with the Cavalier kit. Once again, the same guy that seemed to have some kind of problem with me as a player; evil druid takes control of my horse, tramples me to death.
3e D&D, Armand of the Red Cape (elf wizard 3 with a parrot familiar): this was a resurrection of an old 1e character I had. This was a completely new GM in a different state. In his campaign this GM decides that HE runs all animal companions, familiars and mounts regardless of their Int scores. Parrot was meant to be mouthy so the GM plays that up at a "tough guy" bar - I cast a Sleep spell that literally everyone within range made their save against. I was beaten to death with a stool.
4e D&D, running a Marshal/Warlord whatever they were called, named Marshy: after successfully pulling off the low-level fight of the century and helping a party of 5 level 3 PCs defeat a freaking T-rex (per the DM, we were just s'posed to flee from the creature and be trapped inside a jungle temple for fear of leaving the place and facing the dinosaur), I turn around and walk smack into a swinging spikes trap, dying instantly.
So far, knock on wood, I haven't had a single Pathfinder character die, nor have I FULLY died in D&D 5e. One guy in one campaign died offscreen but was apparently raised, also offscreen, so I don't count it. This smaller death count is almost assuredly due to the fact that I'm the GM 90% of the time.
In the first game I ever DM'ed, the PC Rogue/Sorcerer went off by himself through a cavern that the party had previously cleared, but he eventually went down one of the different paths that they hadn't cleared yet. He missed the trap and got attacked by an animated weapon rack and died.
I feel like at least half of my PC deaths are stupid decisions on my part. Some highlights.
My very first PC. Second fight of our very first dungeon, we faced off against some skeletons. Noobs that we were to RPGs the DM gave us full stats on the creatures. I looked at my 2 hp, and at the 1d4 damage daggers the skeletons used. I wasn't particularly good at math but even I didn't like those odds, so I hid behind the other PCS. The DM declared this was a heroic game and the formerly sluggish skeletons suddenly leapt over the other PCs, despite the ceiling being too low just a few minutes previously, and killed me in one blow.
Stupid decision: trying to be smart. The lesson learned here will come back to bite me
Many PCs later, in Dragonlance in 2e, we met a crazed gnome and his steam-powered jumping dragonmech. It was big, nasty and did a lot of damage by jumping on us and jumping away a round later, so we couldn't target it easily. I decided I should tie myself to the monstrosity so I could hack away at it. The DM ruled the immense power of the jump snapped my spine like rotten twig, and the rest of the combat there was a broken flesh doll flapping around tied to a giant metal foot.
Stupid decision: expecting the DM (not the same one as the last time) to follow other guidelines for damage in the gamme.
In MERP I had fallen down a pit with the other PCs. I had broken my arm (yay, Rolemaster tables) and the other PCs wanted to go one way and I wanted to go the other. I went off on my own and with a broken arm I couldn't wield my polearm which was the only weapon I had a decent score in. I died to giant bats.
Stupid decision: Obvious. I really have no excuse for this one.
Sounds like a lot of these are more bad/petty DM calls than anything. For that I have a phasing character from a Marvel game who was killed off camera with an electrical accident or something dumb. The GM had let me build the guy, but was then to lazy/stupid to figure out how to integrate or challenge a phase character.
On a more pertinent note, a tragic death from my own hubris. Was playing a druid in 3.5 I think. We were traversing through a swamp, so I decided to shift into an alligator. Failed to account for my less than stellar physical stats. We encountered 5 dire tigers ( why there were a group of tigers in a swamp, I don't know). Anyway, I got excited by the idea of using the gator's death role ability. Waded into melee, got surrounded, and got my not nearly armored enough guts ripped out.
This one wasn't quite a death, but not for lack of effort on my part.
Level 1 party. First combat of the day we found ourselves in a Mite burrow, but our 5-person party has been wrecking face and we have them on the run. The combat has been going so well that we've heen competing for kills and trying for cool moves to out-do one another.
We chase the mites to a chasm, but now our heavily armoured party has to swing across on roots hanging from the ceiling while they shoot at us from the other side. It's mot far - DC:5 Climb check, doable as a single full-round action - but it essentially gives the Mites an extra round or two to shoot at us from the other side while we prepare and cross.
Enter my character - a Monk. The Mites can barely hit us and I would auto-pass the climb check, but I decide the best way to help the party and/or show off is to leap the chasm and get among the enemy so that they're not free to take pot shots at my allies. I only need to roll a 2+ to make the jump ...
Nat-1
I fail my Reflex save to grab the other side, fall into the pit and take max-damage on the landing. It's just enough damage to take me under 0 HP. Then the party hears a rumble as a giant worm of some kind wakes at the bottom of the pit, and turns toward my unconscious character ...
So in a single unnecessary acrobatics check I've taken this combat from a cake-walk cleanup duty to a desperate scramble where the party is forced to separate into 3 groups - those covering us (shooting at the Mites or the Worm), those crossing the pit to fight the Mites, and one lone Paladin leaping into the pit to save my character from this unholy abomination that's woken hungry from it's slumber.
The party prevailed, but they used every resource available to them and we had to rest for the night. By all rights my character should have ended her story in that inglorious grave under the hill.
Adventure Path Charter Subscriber; Pathfinder Rulebook, Starfinder Adventure Path, Starfinder Roleplaying Game, Starfinder Society Subscriber
DRD1812 wrote:
What do I mean by “stupid death?” Such pathetic ends lie in an ill-timed crit from an ogre at level 2. In the “oops I forgot to heal” between goblin fight #2 and goblin fight #3. And at higher level, in charging out for death and glory against a non-boss enemy without taking the time to buff, do a little recon, or think through a proper strategy.
So as a combination of heroic memorial and catalogue of cautionary tales, what do you say we share our own “stupid deaths?” Was it bad dice luck, or did you make a critical tactical blunder? Let’s hear all about your most derpy dearly departed PCs!
Personally, I feel there should be differentiation between random death (bad dice rolls) and stupid death (the result of poor decisions by the player). The "ill-timed crit from an ogre at level 2" sounds like more of a random death rather than a stupid death, unless the player was trying to solo the ogre in melee combat with a low-Str/low-Con monk or something similar.
Random deaths, although some tend to label them as "meaningless" deaths, are often easier to portray (narratively) as heroic sacrifices: "They were willing to risk their life to accomplish something." Deaths resulting from poor decisions, on the other hand, are hard to take as anything but mistakes: "They should have known better/What were they thinking?/All muscle (or magic), no brains."
So many pbp games where the game died before my character did.
Reminds me: My suli fighter did get critted unconscious in Iron Gods before the game died. Kind of my fault I suppose. I made a character that was interesting to me, and those never turn out to be all that optimal.
1. in RIFTs my Juicer Assassin named Ed McMahon had any and every physical skill and stat jacked as high as I possibly could. I realized that with just my mundane abilities I could withstand 1 pt of megadamage and I was also wearing armor so rather than terminate a giant bug creature from a rift with my rifle I drew my vibro-knife and charged the sucker. It sliced me in 2 with a single pincer attack.
2. playing Vampire: The Masquerade we infiltrate a club with an antediluvian vampire (super old, super powerful) and my character gets up close to the woman. We're playing Brujah anarchists and my character had been wanting to commit diablerie where you drink the blood of an older vampire for some of its powers. I yell "F the Masquerade!" and lunge at the antediluvian. My GM simply described it as my character evaporating into a blood mist.
Honorable mention:
While this didn't result in my character's death this should've but my GM took pity on me. I have mentioned in other threads that I'm not particularly strategically gifted.
I made a character named Rogers for PFS but only got to play him once at a con, so I ended up using the PC for a one-shot home game with friends. Rogers was a Human Fighter (Shielded Fighter)3. I was going for a tank that holds a spot and deals small amounts of damage with shield bashes while others form up ranks around him.
So... the party is investigating multiple basement levels below a ruined castle and we wander into an area full of goblins and bugbears. The room we're in is a large, open storeroom with clutter to my left and right (crates, sacks and such), open space with rusted, non-working lift chains overhead, and two doorways.
Rogers moves RIGHT INTO THE MIDDLE OF THE ROOM after spotting a bugbear at the far end, telling the rest of the party to form a wedge behind me. I failed a Perception check to notice several goblins to either side amid the clutter. I ALSO failed to notice until I was standing under them that several of the chains were dripping with oil.
Boom, fire explodes around me as the bugbear is literally laughing out loud. Rogers fails his Ref save, is on fire, so I charged the bugbear. I dealt 2 damage plus 1 fire when I hit, took a heavy mace to the side and collapsed below 0 hp. Graciously my horribly charred body was left on the floor as the goblins focused on the rest of the party. I stabilized at -6 and remained there the rest of the combat.
Yeah... my dumb deaths or near-deaths are mostly my fault.
If we want to discuss dastardly GMs...
=
Spoiler:
Again, this is a near-death. My PC is Argentica Silverhair, Half-Elf Wizard (Universalist/Arcane Crafter)3. Argie is moving through tilled farmland when she hears rustling from a nearby stand of trees. She moves to the EDGE of the trees; my character had picked up both Stealth and Perception from Traits as class skills, and I had rolled very high so I'm approaching slowly with Stealth DC 21.
Now, I ask the GM what the lighting is. He says the moon is nearly full and cloud cover is light. My PC SHOULD be seeing just fine in this light. I get to the edge of the trees and again ask about light levels; GM says nothing's changed. Thanks to my familiar (an owl) in Dim light I have a Perception +14. B/c of an alternate race trait I get to use Guidance 1/day in Forest terrain so I ask my GM, he says it counts, and I cast that spell on myself for another +1.
That's a Perception +15, in Dim light, but for my half-elf eyes its like normal light so no penalties. I chuck a d20 and get a 17, so that's a THIRTY TWO on my Perception check. GM tells me I don't see anything. I wave the party forward and tenuously move another 10' into the tree stand using Stealth...
I'm immediately blasted by the Shock ability of 2 Shocker Lizards that were JUST INSIDE the tree line per the GM. I failed my Ref save and took 15 points of damage in the Surprise round, putting my PC at 4 HP, and then on round 1 of the combat they beat my initiative both hit with Bite attacks and I dropped to -1 HP and hit the ground.
To add insult to injury, when the other PCs rushed over to help me, on round 3 of the combat my unconscious body was within the blast radius of another 2d8 Electricity attack but this time it ONLY did 7 damage. My character nearly died right there and didn't stabilize, but the next round since the fight was over I started receiving CLW spells.
I was never given any reason why I didn't see the lizards other than "they were hiding." Looking at the standard Bestiary stats on these creatures, they have a Stealth +17. This means these things had to have both rolled a 16 or better on their Stealth checks to beat my Perception check. They were within 10' of me when I made said check, so there was no distance penalty. The ONLY thing I could think of was that they somehow had some advantage from the tree cover.
BUT, they also spotted my character with her Stealth DC 21 going. Shocker Lizards have Perception +8 so again, they'd have to have both rolled above average to spot me entering the area.
This GM never showed his rolls, save for when he rolled 20's. He also subjectively enforced rules. In some area of Difficult Terrain I couldn't take a 5' step. However, in OTHER areas of Difficult Terrain the monsters COULD take a 5' step, and when I questioned the DM he said I could've taken a 5' step there too. I don't play with this DM anymore.
not mine but one from several members of our group;
They were playing The Morrow Project, a game based around a group of cryogenically frozen scientists and soldiers who are thawed out after the apocalypse and try to restore humanity.
So you start off really well equipped in the game, they had a couple of humvee like vehicles with mounted HMGs, battle rifles, explosives, the whole shebangabang. During one night they are assaulted by a horde of savage cannibals who come running out of the tree line with spears and clubs. The player playing the leader tells the rest to mount up on the 50s and lay down dispersing fire on the horde. This cripples/kills/runs off the vast majority of them, easily ending the fight. Another player decides that he can't settle for anything less than total annihilation of the enemy and decides to chuck a white phosphorous grenade at the remaining, fleeing savages. Crit fails the throw, random scatter puts it directly on the hood of their vehicle. The Willy P goes off, disintegrates the Col, melts the arms and legs off of the character in the driver's seat, cooks the gunner to the body of the vehicle, eats a hole through the jackhole who threw it and melts through the engine block of the car, thus snatching defeat from the jaws of victory.
Ooo, I haven't had too many characters die but the ones who did... huh. A lot of these are me getting killed by my fellow party members.
Garren Razzlefoot: 3.5 Rogue(Yes, the horror). Taught me very well how awful Rogues are and won't make that mistake again. Died to a Barghest after our frontliner died.
Hellfire Warlock: Died because he took a whizz on an Altar of Lolth. Pro Tip: Don't desecrate altars of very active deities.
Assassin Halfling: 3.5, died because he trusted his teammate who cut him off in a tunnel. Don't trust your party members in an evil game.
Duskblade: Teamkilled by Warmage in a Fireball. Don't trust your party members in a not-evil game.
Stalwart Defender: Killed by Frenzied Berserker teammate. Don't play in a game with a Frenzied Berserker.
Cyrus Vance, Morninglord of Lathander: Killed by Disintegrate trap. Let your frontliner go first, no you won't go first "just this time"
Enchanter Wizard: Killed by his former party members after they robbed a drug dealer. My wizard disagreed. Don't pick fights with a Hexblade Mageslayer as a Wizard.
Party was about 5th lvl when we encountered a flesh golem with a scythe. I had been tripping it with on and off again success. It had gotten in a few good hits and I was pretty low on hp. The other melee had been rolling absolutely terribly, the ranger wasn't hitting hard enough to get through it's DR and the wizard was pretty much useless against a golem.
The golem had gotten into my dead zone for my bardiche. Thinking about the bonus strength damage the golem got using the scythe two handed and fearing it might get a critical considering how long the fight was going I decided to grapple it since that would prevent it from using a two handed weapon. I had recently grabbed a level in monk and taken improved grapple from my bonus feat so at least I wouldn't provoke.
Then the golem used it slam attack twice while in the grapple and killed me deader then dead. I completely forgot it had the slam attack.
Had a character is 1st edition Gama World that died getting off a boat. You rolled up all your mutations and the beneficial mutations were mixed in with the defective ones. In some cases you got lucky and had no defects, but not this character. Every single one of his mutations was a defect. I tripped over a dog (had a mental block that I could not see canines), fell in the water (Which was like acid to my character) and panicked trying to get out which triggered an epileptic seizure (Another mutation) that ended up with the character drowning while dissolving from the water.
Just this game I had a player rob a fey tree (never steal from fey) and when he did he got cursed. His curse was at noon every day gravity would reverse for 10 minutes just for him. He wasn’t aware and gravity snatched him up. The players anchored him at 70 feet in the air with a well shot rope arrow but didn’t bother to pull him down. So he fell hard and died.
Not too many stupid deaths, or else I'm not smart enough to recognize that they were stupid, but one sticks out.
Back in the DnD 2e days, my party exited a tunnel into a cavern that had a large pool in the center. There was a bit of ground (maybe 10 or 15 feet) circling the pool in either direction from the tunnel exit. Oh, and there was a Very Large™ black dragon raising its head out of the pool to greet us. This GM (R.I.P. Wayne) liked to have important encounters where one or two PCs were very likely to die before enough damage was dealt to take down the baddie. But that was fine, because we all accepted that PCs were easy come, easy go for that campaign.
The party scatters, some heading left around the pool, me and another guy heading right. Now, when you are running for your life next to someone in real life, it is highly unlikely that you're running shoulder-to-shoulder; one of you is going to pull ahead. That's what we were both envisioning when the GM rolled randomly for left or right, and then targeted the black dragon's line of acid, hitting both my PC and the PC next to me. The damage was enough to take us both well below 0 hp.
We took issue with this turn of events, and the GM responded, "You two both ran in the same direction, have the same speed, and are lined up right next to each other on the grid... of course the dragon is going to target you!"
(While we were envisioning "real life" running, D&D rules aren't as dynamic, so at the end of the turn, me and the other PC were lined up perfectly for a ranged attack with a line area of effect.)
You wanna talk stupid deaths? Warning: I'm in a mood.
Round 1: Elf U-Rogue (Scout)6, charge attack a Young Adult Black Dragon. Rogue has AC 24 and 39 HP. She died.
Round 3: Dragon moves back amid Cover (AoOs on it miss) so that its kobold Adept 6 buff spell specialist can heal it a tiny amount and it can't be full attacked by the paladin PC. Monk ignores paladin, does NOT fall back and regroup. Half Elf U-Monk 6 steps up, flurries (does not spend a ki point for an extra attack). Monk has AC 25 and only 37 HP left at the time. He died.
I'm in a mood b/c they're mad at ME. The rogue player threw a mini-tantrum in the session, even though the NPC cleric cohort was carrying a scroll of Breath of Life; he succeeded on the check to cast such a high level scroll and the rogue eventually got back in the fight.
In the end however she died and wasted multiple rounds of the game just sitting around. Meanwhile after the monk died they didn't have a way to get him back so now a massive chunk of all the treasure they just got has to go towards raising him.
They're calling this fight rigged against them or "unwinnable without casualties" or whatever. Umm, let me think about that... no.
They knew everything down to even some of the stats of this dragon ahead of time. They KNEW the shaman helper kobold would be here. They have so strategically approached other, lesser fights before but this time...
They burst through the door, guns blazing, charge attacked or otherwise tried to solo a freaking dragon in it's OWN lair. Like, are you KIDDING me? And then you're mad when your power fantasy doesn't come true? Even when, for the monk's death, the other players were literally yelling at him NOT to step up and flurry?
There are 26 more days until the next session of this campaign. My expectation that the two grown adults, one of whom is older than me and has more TTRPG experience than I do, use that time to come to grips with how this system works and what it is to use teamwork and strategy.
You wanna talk stupid deaths? Warning: I'm in a mood.
Round 1: Elf U-Rogue (Scout)6, charge attack a Young Adult Black Dragon. Rogue has AC 24 and 39 HP. She died.
Round 3: Dragon moves back amid Cover (AoOs on it miss) so that its kobold Adept 6 buff spell specialist can heal it a tiny amount and it can't be full attacked by the paladin PC. Monk ignores paladin, does NOT fall back and regroup. Half Elf U-Monk 6 steps up, flurries (does not spend a ki point for an extra attack). Monk has AC 25 and only 37 HP left at the time. He died.
I'm in a mood b/c they're mad at ME. The rogue player threw a mini-tantrum in the session, even though the NPC cleric cohort was carrying a scroll of Breath of Life; he succeeded on the check to cast such a high level scroll and the rogue eventually got back in the fight.
In the end however she died and wasted multiple rounds of the game just sitting around. Meanwhile after the monk died they didn't have a way to get him back so now a massive chunk of all the treasure they just got has to go towards raising him.
They're calling this fight rigged against them or "unwinnable without casualties" or whatever. Umm, let me think about that... no.
They knew everything down to even some of the stats of this dragon ahead of time. They KNEW the shaman helper kobold would be here. They have so strategically approached other, lesser fights before but this time...
They burst through the door, guns blazing, charge attacked or otherwise tried to solo a freaking dragon in it's OWN lair. Like, are you KIDDING me? And then you're mad when your power fantasy doesn't come true? Even when, for the monk's death, the other players were literally yelling at him NOT to step up and flurry?
There are 26 more days until the next session of this campaign. My expectation that the two grown adults, one of whom is older than me and has more TTRPG experience than I do, use that time to come to grips with how this system works and what it is to use teamwork and strategy.
I have no sympathy for PC's who die to dragons. Dragons are insanely smart and incredibly deadly, and even with the PC's best laid plans, you should still expect death(s).
And since you attacked it in its own lair, you definitely had the opportunity to not attack it at all and go prepare first. Maybe buy some Protection From Energy (Acid) scrolls and come back? Or have the paladin run in Leeroy Jenkins style first and Smite it while the monk and rogue go take out the Kobold support first?
You wanna talk stupid deaths? Warning: I'm in a mood.
Round 1: Elf U-Rogue (Scout)6, charge attack a Young Adult Black Dragon. Rogue has AC 24 and 39 HP. She died.
Round 3: Dragon moves back amid Cover (AoOs on it miss) so that its kobold Adept 6 buff spell specialist can heal it a tiny amount and it can't be full attacked by the paladin PC. Monk ignores paladin, does NOT fall back and regroup. Half Elf U-Monk 6 steps up, flurries (does not spend a ki point for an extra attack). Monk has AC 25 and only 37 HP left at the time. He died.
I'm in a mood b/c they're mad at ME. The rogue player threw a mini-tantrum in the session, even though the NPC cleric cohort was carrying a scroll of Breath of Life; he succeeded on the check to cast such a high level scroll and the rogue eventually got back in the fight.
In the end however she died and wasted multiple rounds of the game just sitting around. Meanwhile after the monk died they didn't have a way to get him back so now a massive chunk of all the treasure they just got has to go towards raising him.
They're calling this fight rigged against them or "unwinnable without casualties" or whatever. Umm, let me think about that... no.
They knew everything down to even some of the stats of this dragon ahead of time. They KNEW the shaman helper kobold would be here. They have so strategically approached other, lesser fights before but this time...
They burst through the door, guns blazing, charge attacked or otherwise tried to solo a freaking dragon in it's OWN lair. Like, are you KIDDING me? And then you're mad when your power fantasy doesn't come true? Even when, for the monk's death, the other players were literally yelling at him NOT to step up and flurry?
There are 26 more days until the next session of this campaign. My expectation that the two grown adults, one of whom is older than me and has more TTRPG experience than I do, use that time to come to grips with how this system works and what it is to use teamwork and strategy.
I'm soooo confused. Is this the same generally troublesome group, because I feel like I recognize that combo of classes? Secondly, didn't they have some issue with a black dragon encounter before? I seem to recall mention of a swamp, several foreshadowings in sessions before, and the group having, preparing, and relying far to much on acid damage. Or am I confusing you with a different poster?
Either way, bad tactics is bad tactics. And pouty behavior is never okay, especially for more than a round or two. If this is a different group, then why do sooo many parties seem to underestimate black dragons? I know reds are the biggest dragon baddies, but like Ryze implied, they're all deadly. If this is the same group, then they are willfully refusing to learn, and you can't fix stupid.
Also, if this is the same group, Mark, I want you to have games and friends, wonderful stories, and joy in your life, but I'm not sure you can have it with that group of players. Not trying to judge your life or friends, it's just your post history suggests more heartache than happiness with this crew. If we're just your safe space to vent, then never mind. Wouldn't want to break away from a good thing over one bad session. Hope things get better man.
Seriously. They DID have the energy resist going before the fight, and a couple had Fly spells on them from a previous fight, but like they came to a door the kobolds use to enter part of the dragon's lair: it had some guards hiding nearby and a trap on it. Once the rogue set to disabling the trap the smart kobolds jumped out thinking they were going to ambush the PCs. A great fight ensued for the party and they dispatched the guards in ONE round.
That gave them FOUR more rounds, except the rogue, to sit there and buff, or plan, or do ANYTHING. They literally all answered me that no, their characters were just patiently waiting for the rogue to open the door.
Predictably the dragon KNEW they were coming from an Alarm spell and had his minion give him a Protection from Good and a Bless while they were all just standing around. They're not HUGE boosts but still they lasted the whole fight and the Bless gave him the edge to hit the monk one of those times.
I mean COME ON! After we finished the fight and the 2 players were sulking over the pizza we'd ordered, the guy running the paladin was like "this is why our party is supposed to be a TEAM! Its not 4 PCs looking to do the MOST damage so they win, we're ALL supposed to work together!"
It just makes me so mad: YOU spent parts of several sessions learning of this dragon; YOU spent YOUR gold on making a really fancy +1 Composite (+2 Str rating) Longbow with your OWN Craft skill, and as the door opens YOU, the ROGUE, throw your bow on the ground pull your +1 Rapier and yell "CHARGE!"... and somehow I'M the bad guy here?
No way lady. You charged a dragon with a single sneak attack, leaving any possible help 100' away. Any death your character suffered is COMPLETELY on you.
Seriously. They DID have the energy resist going before the fight, and a couple had Fly spells on them from a previous fight, but like they came to a door the kobolds use to enter part of the dragon's lair: it had some guards hiding nearby and a trap on it. Once the rogue set to disabling the trap the smart kobolds jumped out thinking they were going to ambush the PCs. A great fight ensued for the party and they dispatched the guards in ONE round.
That gave them FOUR more rounds, except the rogue, to sit there and buff, or plan, or do ANYTHING. They literally all answered me that no, their characters were just patiently waiting for the rogue to open the door.
Predictably the dragon KNEW they were coming from an Alarm spell and had his minion give him a Protection from Good and a Bless while they were all just standing around. They're not HUGE boosts but still they lasted the whole fight and the Bless gave him the edge to hit the monk one of those times.
I mean COME ON! After we finished the fight and the 2 players were sulking over the pizza we'd ordered, the guy running the paladin was like "this is why our party is supposed to be a TEAM! Its not 4 PCs looking to do the MOST damage so they win, we're ALL supposed to work together!"
It just makes me so mad: YOU spent parts of several sessions learning of this dragon; YOU spent YOUR gold on making a really fancy +1 Composite (+2 Str rating) Longbow with your OWN Craft skill, and as the door opens YOU, the ROGUE, throw your bow on the ground pull your +1 Rapier and yell "CHARGE!"... and somehow I'M the bad guy here?
No way lady. You charged a dragon with a single sneak attack, leaving any possible help 100' away. Any death your character suffered is COMPLETELY on you.
AMEN! You're very much justified here. If these players are experienced as I believe, then they absolutely should know better. How many stories are there out there about the fast character who charge in solo and get immediately ganked? The monks, the barbarians, the rouges, etc. I've even done that a time or two when I was young and dumb(er). I didn't blame anybody for my stupid choices though. Just laughed and learned.
Also, while I don't wish you to have your players turn on each other (or you), I think your Paladin deserves a big gold star. What did the fourth player have to say about all this?
Not to derail from the dragon stupidity, but I have several stupid deaths that were all about the same.
Dwarf/human/half-orc barbarian, level 1-3. Not wanting to rage for every fight, I fight without rage, happen to go down to 0 or lower and manage to stay conscious so I then rage to get back into the fight and either swing from the ground or attempt to get up and generally die shortly after my attempt at being heroic.
I've died to random crits and spiteful DMs often enough, doing something clearly stupid has been less common. Unless you count playing with DMs who have a grudge against you as stupid, which would be fair.
I think my stupidest death was with a character who decided to walk away from some events that got out of control and hoped he wouldn't be recognized by the guards if he abandoned his equipment and wore peasant clothes. He died sleeping by the side of the river with a fishing pole in his hand. No regrets other than a complete lack of investment in the disguise skill.
The most common stupid death I've seen is the sole player to come out of a rough combat unscathed pressing on alone. I can think of five different times it's happened.
Final book of. Giantslayer. Our party had steamrollered the AP up to then due to being super optimised versus giants. I’m playing an elven cleric/archer, who is very much a glass cannon.
Start of round - I shoot the giant archer, who’s about 50’ away wounding, but not killing him. Rest of party:
I move forward and ready for when the giant charges
I move forward and ready
I move forward and ready
I start singing to boost the damage when the giant charges…
Giant Archer: Cool, no one is in melee range, so I get a full attack on the elf. Oh look, a critical.
Giant Archer: Cool, no one is in melee range, so I get a full attack on the elf. Oh look, a critical.
Weapons with x3 critical are so deadly. I had a Drow chain-fighter finesse/AC tank back in 3.5 die at full health thanks to a minotaur's great Axe, got taken straight from 47 HP to -10 in one hit. I felt cheated lol
So just to follow up on the question from Sysryke: the four players are
1. a gal running the u-rogue (scout)6
2. a guy running the u-monk 6
3. a guy running the paladin 6 with a cohort cleric 4
4. a guy running the wizard (fire wizard) 6
That 4th guy, running the wizard, is extremely quiet and reserved as a person, but when the paladin player went off about playing as a team, the wizard's player's sarcasm could've melted glass. He's like "It's called an adventuring party. PAR - TEE!" after which he started pantomiming about being the rogue, snapping their new bow over their knee, pulling a butter knife and sprinting into the monster's jaws.
Yeah, neither the wizard or the paladin were quiet after the encounter wrapped.
The funniest bit was that the guy running the wizard lives super close to me and he was acting as the driver for me and the guy running the monk. The first part of the drive, dropping the monk player off was SUPER silent. The second bit dropping ME off he was practically screaming.
See, the cherry on top to this whole story is that besides getting rid of the dragon because it and its kobolds were threatening some NPCs in the dungeon that the characters had befriended, the other main reason to do all this was for the treasure. I'd been kind of stingy with loot the last few sessions and they were heading into level 7 with less gear than WBL so they were trying to get a big pay day.
Now over 5 grand of that new treasure has to go towards raising the monk from the dead. The paladin and wizard players are furious about this. Like, they were going to take a month of Downtime with all that loot so they could level up to level 7, the wizard could make a bunch of scrolls, the paladin was going to craft some unique magic armor, it was going to be so cool!
Now they're pinging me over email, asking how much GP they can squeeze out of harvesting anything they can from the dragon: blood, hide, skin for weapon grips... heck, the paladin remembered his cohort has several ranks in Survival and asked, if the cohort butchered up the meat from the dragon, how much could they make selling dragon steaks to the local taverns in the city?
Sorry, I know this is a thread about stupid deaths and I'm not trying to hijack this with my story. The 2 PCs though... YES, they should've known better.
The gal running the u-rogue has been TTRPGing for nearly 50 years, most of which has been some derivative of D&D or, now PF1. The guy running the monk? He's not as experienced by among this group of gamers (they're all friends and I'm the noob to their games), HE'S the one that convinced THEM all to convert to PF1 back in '09! You'd Think HE'D be the one most well versed on how this game works!
Anyway, back to stupid deaths. Sorry again for the thread-jack.
Had nearly a TPK in a Hell on Earth/Gaslands game I'm currently running. So the group is in this big nasty raider town on the eve of a big death race and they've snuck in to try and steal a McGuffin while the raiders are distracted by the race. This particular town is like their Las Vegas, so even more drunken, drug-filled debauchery than even the normal raider enclave, which allows the PCs to kind of come and go as they please since everyone there is too blitzed out of their mind to care, but random brawls are pretty common.
So they have a little beef with a gang called the White Rhinos, a group of swole boys with horned helmets after a few fights that has seen several members on both side knocked around pretty good (there is an uneasy truce in effect due to the race, so things don't become as lethal as would normally be the case). For some reason, a few of the party decides to split up to go drink and carouse in this den of inequity. Two of them (mutants) end up at the towns designated dueling place the Thunder Box, where they are spotted by the White Rhinos, and particularly one who lost an eye to the creepy weasel mutant of one of the PCs, so they decide to get some payback. After a few rounds the PCs get knocked out (because they are really bad a chip management) and instead of killing them, the White Rhinos steal their stuff and take the eye of the weasel as payback. The stuff isn't really all that important, mostly clothes and the group has a sci-fi regen pack that could restore the eye, instead the two upon waking go back to their car, grab a giant hand-held drill and go looking for the Rhinos who are chilling at their bar of choice. The PCs see them before they are noticed and I tell them there are five of them sitting around drinking. Remember that these two just got knocked out by two of them...So they surprise murder one guy with the drill but then get stomped out and shotgun murdered by the rest after a pretty good dust-up.
The rest of the group hears about their deaths and decides to go an challenge the gang in the Thunder Box and make it a point to leave all their weapons behind (I don't even at this point...), they find the group at the bar, of which their number has swelled a little to about seven guys, with the previous 4 survivors looking a little beat up (especially the guy missing the eye) and then challenge them to a fight to the death. Well the guy sans-eye isn't going to go hop in the ring as he's barely standing as is (he caught the drill in the head and barely survived) and tells them about it, so the group turns and says that they'll see them around, leaving on the unspoken threat. Now the White Rhinos are not dumb meatheads, it's already been explained to the group that they kind of play that part to lull people into a false sense of security, but it still comes as a surprise to them when seeing that the group of PCs are completely unarmed, and just threatened to enact some street-justice, the Rhinos attack. The Rhinos have the numbers and guns, and it goes about the way one would think a gang fight, where one side decided to just bring their bad attitude would go. All but two of the PCs end up straight up dying, the others are taken as slaves.
Afterwards, I just kind of shook my head and asked the table what the hell was the actual plan? Why did they leave their weapons and then go pick a fight against superior numbers that they know are murdering, lying bastards? My players don't make good decisions...
Still playing the game though, as the next session, instead of playing the game normally, I told them we were going to do a big narrative story-telling session with the end goal of introducing the new characters, saving the two remaining ones and finishing up the McGuffin heist. Used a simple little system I made up on the fly of playing Black Jack to settle any conflicts that arose in the story that forced them to come up with a narrative for their involvement to gain an edge in the hand. Everyone enjoyed it, got a bunch of cool stories out of it and plenty of hooks for future games, so I guess it worked out in the end, but the whole thing is still a head scratcher of idiotacy
Righty-ho! First session today. I'm running Send in the Clones in 2e.
Jump-R-CBL-1
Clones are attacked by a swarm of giant rats in the sewers (and we said we needed a break from D&D. HA!). For some reason everyone tries to run away, swim away, find a way to climb out of the sewers, etc. instead of fighting them. After several rounds of this I got bored and Jump-R, who was swarmed at the time after several failed swimming rolls, got eaten.
Sue-R-RAT-1
The PCs came to a fine mesh covering the tunnel. Unlike the rest of the sewer it looks shiny and new. Sue tries to lift it out of the way.
ZAP! Fried clone.
Sam-R-KND-1
Cleverly uses Sue-1's boots as insulation to make sure his knife doesn't conduct through to him, then tries to cut his way through the mesh. He grabs hold of it to hold it steady while he cuts.
Sam-R-KND-2
Inside a disused film studio they meet Captain Botaroo - a childhood hero whose show was a staple for all children in Alpha Complex for generations. It was discontinued some years ago, and some rumors claim it was because of the uncomfortably high mortality rate among the guests. Probably just Commie slander. Anyway, Botaroo is determined to play with the newly arrived kids and starts lobbing grenades around. Sam-R responds with his own grenade with an official damage rating of Awesome (on a numerical scale). He successfully blows up Captain Botaroo. He also manages to blow himself up.
Had a character is 1st edition Gama World that died getting off a boat. You rolled up all your mutations and the beneficial mutations were mixed in with the defective ones. In some cases you got lucky and had no defects, but not this character. Every single one of his mutations was a defect. I tripped over a dog (had a mental block that I could not see canines), fell in the water (Which was like acid to my character) and panicked trying to get out which triggered an epileptic seizure (Another mutation) that ended up with the character drowning while dissolving from the water.
Great Gygax in the sky! That's a lot of bad luck. How did the poor mutie ever make it to adulthood?
Third session of Send in the Clones. No deaths last one because I did little other than narrate, and killing people off during narration is just tacky. They have to earn it, even if earning it is just showing up for a session.
Segue to Watt-Y-WHO-1 who was appointed team leader and used the experimental CRUD (Clone Recycling Unlimited Delivery) system, and was splattered at the feet of the other PCs. It seemed unfair that his player hadn't lost any clones on account of not being present, so it was time to remedy that.
In a game of Date with Death - think Jeopardy (in Paranoia, contestants really are in jeopardy) crossed with something like American football with lasers,a 60 kg/130 lb. steel ball, set in a laundromat with referees that shoot you for rules infractions. We only lost three clones when one of the opposing team used his experimental plasma generator in a blind panic and blew up Sam-R-3. Sue-R-2 and Jump-R-2 in one go. The ball, an opposing player and a refbot were also incinerated, and the game was announced a win by default for the PCs since the last opponents tried to kill the refs.
Nursing a wound from the match, Watt-Y-2 ordered Sue-R-3 to, in her role as Hygiene Officer, fix his wounds. She tried, but called on the medbot to finish the job, which it does. Being a repurposed scrubot it uses industrial strength cleaning solutions in the wound, staples it shut (despite the injury being a burn, not a cut), then welds everything back together. enter Watt-Y-3.
