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To go with the similar thread on the PFS Forums. It's one of my favorites, so I thought I'd start one here for us to share.
Use spoilers when necessary.
Here are my funny SF Moments so far:
-Translations can be awkward.
Team of Ysoki PCs rummaging loot into their mouths.
Player: "I pocket that."
Me: "You mean you mouth it?"
Players pause as we realize there's likely a Ysoki phrase for that.
Brannigan's Shenanigans.
My Envoy Icon is built to be Zapp Brannigan, always keen to rescue the ladies & move up the chain of command, with no cost in other people's lives too high.
-Capt. Zapp to the rescue
PCs save two goblins from monsters.
Capt. Zapp ponders Vesk laws on slavery & value of a goblin, discusses prices with PC accountant/bodyguard Vesk.
One goblin dies in later fight.
Capt. Zapp, after lamenting lost wealth, consoles remaining goblin: "It might be for the best. A whole life of slavery can be pretty rough."
Oddly, that goblin seemed pretty gung-ho to die too. And did.
(Of course, now that he knows it's the Azlanti into slavery, their language is on his list of ones to learn.)
-Capt. Zapp's Computer Skills
Shirren VC asks how we succeeded at our investigation.
Zapp: "Well, I knew a lot of it already." High Culture roll. "And for the computer stuff," (gestures over Ysoki Mechanic), "I used my mouse."
(departing)
"Thank you, admiral, sir."
"I'm no admiral."
"Yes, but you're admirable." (point & a wink)
-Capt. Zapp introduces team. Runs through his bodyguards, his tech support Ysoki, lastly gets to the Android Operative.
Zapp: This is my sexbot.
Op: I'm not a sexbot!
Zapp: My apologies, my sex-droid.
(Same Op.)
Zapp: I bought an armor attachment for you. Well, for me really.
Op: I don't even want to know.
Zapp: I call it Leela.
(Later, with same Op, after recovering a spaceship for team use.)
Zapp (to Op): Well, it's been nice knowing you, but now Capt. Zapp has a ship again and it's time to go kill some aliens.
Op: I'm really good at flying spaceships.
Zapp (reflecting): So when we first met and you said you could pilot my rocket, you meant actual ships?
Op: Yes!
Zapp: Oh...so much makes sense now.
Capt. Zapp's Inspirational Boosts:
"I didn't give the command to be cannon fodder yet."
"Hey, that's my life you're losing there. I'm your captain, not you."
"THIS isn't the suicide mission."
"You can't fall. I'd be next."
Capt. Zapp, leader extraordinaire:
Lashantu PC/Bodyguard (telepathically): I think we should do plan A.
Zapp: I think we should do plan A.
Lashantu PC: Excellent plan, sir.
Zapp: It just came to me.
(later on ship, when assigning crew quarters)
Zapp (to Lashantu): Keep your door open, I think better when I have line of sight with you.
Team Zapp told to get info from Level 21 gang.
Zapp: "What level do you think we might find the Level 21 gang on?"
VC: "Level 21."
Zapp: "Yes, that gang. What level?"
(repeated as needed)
Team Zapp bluffs/disguises way past door guards, past further gang members, into sanctum of trigger happy gang leader. After tense standoff (and superb rolls) soothes gang leader. We get accepted as legitimate recruits, we extract information which mirrors our earlier findings, and...now what?
Gang Leader: "See you tomorrow morning."
Zapp: "I guess."
Op player offers Resolve to get a clue about what's going on.
GM: "You weren't supposed to be able to make it that far."
Us: "Oh." Killing ensues. Walk nonchalantly past door guards.
Cheers.
I spent 1/3 of my starting cash on a serum of sex shift because I realized with the way it was written, "taking on a set of sexual characteristics of my choice." meant my Ysoki could become a hermaphrodite. So far I have not gotten an answer on whether or not a ysoki would have two mammaries like a human, or six/eight like other mammals? I get strange looks from NPC's now (since I described my ysoki as clearly masculine despite their... addtions).
The other humorous moment was our first mission being pretty off the rails as we deliberately turned in our outlaw to Eox for the crimes they did as a part of their backstory, and then breaking them out once we got the cash and running. Things were going well untila sniper on a large platform decided to try and pick us off. Luckily, they were a Hollywood sniper as our GM expressed dismay at getting three 5's in a row. However our party weren't being high rollers either and out of 5 rounds of combat, only 4 damage was exchanged. Me, being tired of playing these games decide to use our ships HE missile launcher on the sniper tower, and told the GM I know that starship weapons aren't accurate enough to target PC's, but this is AoE, so as long as I get it in the general direction... And yes, I told our Outlaw kasatha and spike speigel parody bounty hunter to hike it out of there.
Nat 20. Sniper takes 480 damage.
Our GM noted it was really good that the Eoxian govement had left the bounty money in a rendezvous point nearby for the sniper to collect and it wasn't on the sniper's person because they were charcoal dust.
During a recent SFS scenario we were tasked with getting information from a ysoki. I was playing the vesk soldier pre-gen whose Int is 8 and Chr 10, yet the party looked to me to negotiate with the ysoki. In character, I offered the ysoki a wheel of cheese. The ysoki was not amused, but the crowd watching us a the rpg convention had a good laugh.
The other day I asked our GM about whether or not second skin would have artificial hair/fur since it is designed to blend in with a characters body, otherwise my ysoki icon would have been strutting around in a skintight suit that made them look like a sphinx (hairless) cat the whole session.
Now imagine facing down a (seemingly) naked 4 foot rat in battle. No wonder why my enemies kept getting shaken (as I went full intimidate in build).
My group had just landed on a Wretched Hive Of Scum and Villainy and were passing by the places Vesk security chief. The vesk takes a look at my character, a Lashunta Solarian and makes a crack about Lashunta's being weak. I wasn't about to take that so I made a crack about vesk's being stupid. At that point the parties envoy jumped in and started trying to soothe security chief and prevent a fight, but about half way through his spiel about how much he respects the chief and how he should get extra respect from the next group that comes through to make up for the respect I didn't give him the player cracked up and started laughing at the nonsense he was peddling. The GM made him roll a will save to avoid having his character also burst of laughing, which would have immediately gotten his face torn off. Fortunately he made it.
I love this.
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My group had just landed on a Wretched Hive Of Scum and Villainy and were passing by the places Vesk security chief. The vesk takes a look at my character, a Lashunta Solarian and makes a crack about Lashunta's being weak. I wasn't about to take that so I made a crack about vesk's being stupid. At that point the parties envoy jumped in and started trying to soothe security chief and prevent a fight, but about half way through his spiel about how much he respects the chief and how he should get extra respect from the next group that comes through to make up for the respect I didn't give him the player cracked up and started laughing at the nonsense he was peddling. The GM made him roll a will save to avoid having his character also burst of laughing, which would have immediately gotten his face torn off. Fortunately he made it.I love this.
And I hate it. A GM should not arbitrarily punish a character in the game due to something happening out of the game. For example, an envoy should not take a penalty to his Charisma-based skill interactions just because the player finds it difficult to communicate in real life. After all, the soldier player doesn't need to be a marksman in real life for his character to be able to hit things.
Why on earth would the GM even want to risk ruining a table's humorus moment with an unnecessary roll that could easily result in some major negative repercussions? It sets a bad president and will likely drive away players in the long run.
And I hate it.(Story)I love this.
Then it's a good thing you two don't play together.
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The funniest moments at our table have often come from the characters trying to work outside their comfort zones.
Our last session was chock-full of these moments. I presented the team with a scenario tailor-made for Ocean's Eleven-style infiltration shenanigans run against a casino whose owners are Up to No Good with some creepy aliens from out in the Vast. They ultimately elected to just walk right in the front door and improvise, with hilarious results.
I think the best of these was when our Shirren technomancer -- our resident Scholar, with zero experience of getting drunk in casinos -- tried to play drunk to run interference for our mechanic who was busy hacking the large, weird alien mainframe in the manager's office (and tripping several silent alarms in the process). They rolled their first ever Bluff check trying to pull off an "accidental" pratfall into the path of a security guard, failed it quite spectacularly -- although they did buy time for themselves to cast a Hold Portal spell to buy the mechanic some time -- and as they found themselves yanked to their feet by the angry and suspicious guard, gave us a great piece of internal monologue:
"But, this isn't possible! I've studied the biological effects of alcohol thoroughly. That should've worked!"
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This (easy) tongue twister was invented in one of Rogue Rat's sessions:
How much space could a spaceship ship if spaceship could ship space?
Just thought of this one:
Shirrens sell C-Cells on the C-floor.
(Work in progress I suppose.)
Cheers
This (easy) tongue twister was invented in one of Rogue Rat's sessions:
How much space could a spaceship ship if spaceship could ship space?Just thought of this one:
Shirrens sell C-Cells on the C-floor.
(Work in progress I suppose.)Cheers
Ooh! Tongue twisters! This one came up shortly after our mechanic took a plasma bolt to the *ahem* butt.
"Xerxes has to ask the ass expert."
And when our soldier got crit while clearing an I gestation of alien vermin.
"A big bug bit a bold bald Baird and the bold bald Baird bled blood badly."
I was running a large group through the fourth encounter of the free SFS adventure in a home game. Anyways my brother had just made a ysoki technomancer and the groups envoy dared him to go touch the big bad monster. Being a bit of a troll he decided to do it (attempted to hit it with jolting shock). Anyways after 2 hits he was down to 3 HP, but still had all of his resolve, and he'd pissed of my wife (the party's mystic) so she didn't jump in to heal him. I then rolled a very solid crit and had to bust out the massive damage rules. Instant death. It was the single greatest moment of the night.
To be clear I almost never kill PCs, I'm usually happy if I can put 1 of them on the ground in a boss fight, so to have anyone die is such a spectacular way, and when he really deserved it was just too perfect.
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So Zapp's been resting (though will resume play next week), but I just attended a convention where I was able to bust out a new PC, Jessica Robot. (Given that I'm running a Dragon's Demand featuring the Scooby gang, one could safely say cartoons have lately informed my gaming.)
Jessica's first adventure. Right after introducing herself, "I'm not bad, I was built this way.", the next two PCs happened to have Profession (Private Eye), to which Jessica said flatly, "I like private d!*ks." PI One, after noting she's unarmed, responded, "Your main weapon's a booby trap, isn't it?" (Note to self: Find said item.)
Later there was a stilted connection with PI One (mainly as defense for the player who kept losing it with all the puns & innuendo).
Jessica: "I get it. You just hate us droids because when you first founded your PI firm, a droid did your brother in. That's why you'll never return to Droidtown."
PI Two picked up the slack, "Yeah. Didn't he have a red eyes and a really high, squeaky voice." (Proceeds to imitate WFRR's villain.)
PI One loses it again.
Later, group comes across a pool of lubricant. None of the tech-minded folk can ID it. Jessica steps up, makes the DC, "I know lubricant."
PIs & company plot to immerse Jessica in lubricant. She saunters in quite willingly. Plan alters and PI Two, at the behest of PI One, casually grabs Jessica's head and dunks her. This, of course, just gives her the opportunity to splash out like in a shampoo commercial.
PI Two's player thought it funny that one of the other PCs (and a Mechanic at that!) was too timid to enter the pool so had to be carried like a princess by PI Two. Jessica soon slathered lubricant all over said Mechanic.
Speaking of which, the lubricant later was causing our (up 'til now) esteemed Vesk warrior to slip and spin all around. So as to alleviate his embarrassment, Jessica body slid across the floor to join him. "Whee!"
Played a Shirren, the communal bugfolk. After revealing that a happy community was a front for an evil cult, the interrogation of one of its leaders begins.
Other players: "How could you plot something so evil?", "What kind of horrific rituals have you been performing?", "What have you done with (missing people)?!", and so on.
Shirren: "And how did you get everybody to bond so well? Your community's amazingly happy. I like that."
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Our Ysoki operative found a Null-Space chamber Mk1 and decided it fit in his mouth pouch. Now he's constantly shoving long things into and out of his mouth.
Brannigan's Shenanigans.
My Envoy Icon is built to be Zapp Brannigan, always keen to rescue the ladies & move up the chain of command, with no cost in other people's lives too high.
DawnforgedCast, is that you?! O:
Nothing funny has happened yet. Until 3 space kobolds jumped in and started to shoot at random things.
Our ship is not doing well in a fight against a corpse fleet ship, prompting the science officer to point out:
"half the crew is also star shaman mystics. We can walk home..."
"How much is a personal drift engine?"
And note that Drift Tech works better with smaller ships...
Our ship is not doing well in a fight against a corpse fleet ship, prompting the science officer to point out:
"half the crew is also star shaman mystics. We can walk home..."
"How much is a personal drift engine?"
And note that Drift Tech works better with smaller ships...
So that's why most of the clergy aren't Technomancers like I am!
Funniest moment for our table was when Pact Worlds released with a new race of sentient phalluses that roll around on their balls. No one can keep a straight face when talking about the bantrids long enough to figure out how they wear armor or interact with their environment. It just devolves into jokes about raincoat and hard hat protection euphemisms and the like.
Captain Zap made some sad realizations last game:
1. Starfinder Society does have rules, and even captains need to follow them. Well...other captains.
2. Space Pirate Wenches do exist in the Diaspora, but the holovids made them out to be much more frisky than they turned out to be. One of my know-stuff people said it had something to do with the vacuum disturbing my love vibe. Damn vacuum!
3. Sometimes when you're the only person who can read the "Space Pirate Wench" language, your underlings actually want you to read it. And a whole book of it too! Don't they know that's what the know-stuff people are for?
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. . . I was able to bust out a new PC, Jessica Robot. (Given that I'm running a Dragon's Demand featuring the Scooby gang, one could safely say cartoons have lately informed my gaming.)
Jessica's first adventure. Right after introducing herself, "I'm not bad, I was built this way.", the next two PCs happened to have Profession (Private Eye), to which Jessica said flatly, "I like private d!*ks." PI One, after noting she's unarmed, responded, "Your main weapon's a booby trap, isn't it?" (Note to self: Find said item.)
Later there was a stilted connection with PI One (mainly as defense for the player who kept losing it with all the puns & innuendo).
Jessica: "I get it. You just hate us droids because when you first founded your PI firm, a droid did your brother in. That's why you'll never return to Droidtown."
PI Two picked up the slack, "Yeah. Didn't he have a red eyes and a really high, squeaky voice." (Proceeds to imitate WFRR's villain.)
PI One loses it again.Later, group comes across a pool of lubricant. None of the tech-minded folk can ID it. Jessica steps up, makes the DC, "I know lubricant."
PIs & company plot to immerse Jessica in lubricant. She saunters in quite willingly. Plan alters and PI Two, at the behest of PI One, casually grabs Jessica's head and dunks her. This, of course, just gives her the opportunity to splash out like in a shampoo commercial.PI Two's player thought it funny that one of the other PCs (and a Mechanic at that!) was too timid to enter the pool so had to be carried like a princess by PI Two. Jessica soon slathered lubricant all over said Mechanic.
Speaking of which, the lubricant later was causing our (up 'til now) esteemed Vesk warrior to slip and spin all around. So as to alleviate his embarrassment, Jessica body slid across the floor to join him. "Whee!".
I, I have no words. Bless you sir, bless you. I hope to play with Jessica Robot some day.
I do have one. Someone was running pregen Keskodai in an SFS scenario. He decided to get really into it and was constantly ‘talking’ to his larvae. Things got hilarious when the GM started to play his kid. His kid going through his emo phase
K: See son? We’re at a big social event. Lots of people to meet and friends to make.
GM (as son): whatever, these sheeple don’t know about the Real Word!
K: Now behave! We have to be nice and . . . Is that a black wig in the jar? How’d you even get that in there?
(Keskodai opens the jar, grabs the wig, and throws it away. Son materializes a new one)
K: what? You’re a level two technomancer with the manufacture hack? How?!
GM: You don’t know me!
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while trying to learn where the whereabouts of a space anomaly that some goblins had found, we had to infiltrate a Space-Goblin festival celebrating the heroic sacrifice of an ancient Space-Goblin warrior/priestess who poisoned herself before being consumed by a space dragon to save her planet (or so the story is told to young Space-Goblins in preparation for the festival). Anywho, the festival revolves around the ritual consumption of the hottest and deadliest pepper known in the galaxy; The Dragon Ripper. For a month straight, Space-Goblins make a pilgrimage in their Star Warrens to the planet to feast on peppers, proving they have what it takes to survive the gastrointestinal ravages of the pepper, play pepper-eating themed games, and basically have the volcano poops for days on end, which is often times so bad its fatal and acts as a form of population control.
So we arrive on planet; an Ysoki Operative (detective), Goblin Mystic, Vesk Soldier, and a Solarian and infiltrate the festivities. I as the Ysoki, disguise myself and keep to the shadows, while the Goblin Mystic uses the clothes of a Goblin Leader we had dealt with much earlier to gain entrance with his royal chef, the Vesk and the meal of honor to be prepared later, the Solarian.
What follows is a number of games meant to test ones ability to not die when eating peppers that can melt through battleship armor, and survive the tummy torching craps that flow afterwards. During that time, the Operative makes a bet with the navigator of the Space-Goblin ship we're here to find that if he should win the Tournament of Champions (five of the worst pepper eating games imaginable), he'd give us the information we were looking for.
So we end up winning the tournament, and while the Operative is off getting the info from the navigator, the crowd decides its time for the feast and takes the Solarian off to consume. Being put on the spot is not the best situation for some of our players and the Goblin and Vesk kind of panic, but manage to get the Solarian back, but only so that they can prepare him. They stall for a bit, before the crowd begins to get angry, so with no other options out, the Vesk apologizes to the Solarian, whacks him over the head and cooks him, and by all accounts serves a rather tasty meal to those gathered, which allows the rest of the group to escape with the information and a couple of doggie bags.
...the Vesk apologizes to the Solarian, whacks him over the head and cooks him...
WTF man!
WTF man!
...the Vesk apologizes to the Solarian, whacks him over the head and cooks him...
they make the "greatest" decisions! (a lot of times I'm forced to be the party leader, so sometimes I'll make really anti-social characters to leave them to their own decisions/devices and stand back and watch the spectacle)
it should be noted that, in this game we all have "soul chips", which allow us to be cloned upon our deaths, so it was even better when the Solarian woke up and was all;
"YOU FREAKING ATE ME!" and then attacked the Vesk, who just held him off with one arm, while munching on some leftovers with the other.
it should be noted that, in this game we all have "soul chips", which allow us to be cloned upon our deaths, so it was even better when the Solarian woke up and was all;
"YOU FREAKING ATE ME!" and then attacked the Vesk, who just held him off with one arm, while munching on some leftovers with the other.
Ah, you're playing Paranoia with Starfinder rules. That's pretty funny.
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. . . which allows the rest of the group to escape with the information and a couple of doggie bags.
This right here. This is what it's all about.
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I'm playing in Legendary Planet as a Vesk Soldier. He's convinced he's on a reality TV show and that there are microcameras everywhere, has ranks in Prof: TV Personality, and the like. I have Climbing Suckers and I tend to switch hit between a heavy weapon and unarmed strikes.
So I'm on the ceiling directly above the boss during one of our major encounters. I've got my reaction cannon in hand. Mathematically, the full attack is the clear winner here given my attack bonuses, but...
*detaches climbing suckers and goes for the elbow drop*
*Nat 20*
*dead boss*
Capt. Zapp has an Inspirational Boost for whoever calls for it.
Android "Red Shirt" Operative takes damage, even h.p. Calls for aid.
Second-in-command takes damage too. It's only stamina, but he also calls for aid. Zapp can only boost one.
To Zapp, Red Shirt is cannon fodder even though out-of-character I know it needs the help more. As I ponder how to juggle this pull between being true to the character and helpful to my fellow player, the second-in-command pipes up, "Who would you rather heal? Your second-in-command," points at smile, "or just a sexbot."
His persuasion backfired. Of course the sexbot gets priority.
Conundrum solved.
Last night the ysoki operative and vesk solarian after the other half of the party failed a will save and fell asleep:
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
YES! Get the cleaning robot, I'm drawing genitalia on ALL their faces, and then the cleaning robot can just take it off!
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So in our Dead Suns campaign, our Vesk Mystic is a celebrity chef called ‘The Gourmad Doctor”. His business model is to cook up everything we kill on our adventures and sell it back at his resteraunt (and import more if need be.). He also serves up a science lesson in all the stuff we killed to the customer. (You are eating Amaya-nuggets. Did you know Akatas make shells out of Starmetal?). He has been so incredibly useful that we don’t stop him.
My Ysoki Xenodruid mystic seems to be a source of these so far. I've been playing her as a rather stereotypical 'tree hugger' type who prefers diplomacy to fighting, even when it comes to a space goblin invasion, and has a stash of 'herbs' stored in her cheek pouches.
Got a good reaction from the group right at the start of the game when we were going over our roles on the ship and I announced I was the chef, with a specialty of 'steamed bulkhead fungus' that she had collected from the nooks and crannies of the old ship they were traveling on.
Second game, after the ship crashed on a hostile world and the world started going all glitchy (without her having gotten into her stash, mind you), found that it was all a Matrix-like simulation by some drow. Once the party had awoken, memories scrambled, she started going on about whether or not the party actually existed or if they were a new virtual life form come to the real world.
Think the funniest aspect of the last game, though, was the fact that she out-damaged not only the Solarian, but the mechanic AND his combat droid, all combined, due to horrendous rolls on their parts, and no less than two crits with her club against an orc's knees. Then during the boss fight against the drow woman in charge, she began babbling about 'love and peace' (to sum it up briefly) and later about the benefits of 'delicious natural bulkhead fungus', which caused no small amount of brain damage to the boss (it's how I described using the Mind Thrust spell).
Next game, assuming we meet more peaceful and talkative sentient beings, I'm thinking I'll be greeting them as an envoy of the 'Virtual', and am considering trying to start a cult. *shrug* Hey, it's an option.
A ghost operative climbed on top of a old wooden flat roof riddled with holes. Once on the roof, the operative decided to punch a hole in the roof and drop a grenade on the mad monster below. With the grenade in hand he smashed his hand down, thinking the roof was rotten and would easily give way. Unfortunately that was not the case, his hand recoiled, pain shooting up his arm, his fingers letting go of the grenade in his hand. The grenade slowly rolled away from the operative, as he clutched his hand in pain. The weapon rolled slowly along the roof, inch after inch, until it found a hole of its own. The operative with his senses back lunged to retrieve it, but too late. The grenade exploded, shattering the roof into thousands of splinters and the operative blown clean off the roof, only to lie helpless prone on the ground, waiting for the blackness of unconsciousness to wash over him....
Thanks to the alert mystic his life was not forfeit and he went on to adventure again.
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"No, I am NOT going back to Fitch's nursery. I'm going to stay out here being shot at by gangs where it's SAFE "