Building a Potato.

[Eisur Cordastra]

Alright. Bear with me here, for a homebrew campaign my friend is DMing, one of my two characters is a potato wizard named Reginald. He used to be human, but his body was utterly destroyed by a super weapon (that he and his artificer friend were building) malfunctioning and exploding. His soul was still intact, so the artificer used all of his power to force Reginald's soul into the nearest object, a potato. And through some bullshiftery, I can telepathically communicate with the artificer, and only the artificer. I'm also held aloft by what basically amount to RC helicopter blades/motor.

What I need help with the most is getting the basic stats and racial information for a potato, so that I have something to work off of.
I imagine the size of a potato would either be Fine, or possibly Diminutive. Which, the size itself will provide bonuses and such, but what kind of "racial" stats and bonuses would a potato have?

[divineshadow]

Hmmmm none. Its a non sentient thing. Its dexterity and str scores would be zero. Potato s are kind tough so maybe a bonus to con. And again no mental scores. I suppose you could keep what you had before the transfer but jeez. I think it would be easier to just kill you and bring you back in the right body....

[DualJay]

I'd imagine no STR or Dex... And no mouth. All your spells will have to be stilled and silenced. I'd imagine it'd lose charisma, maybe con. Gaining doodle
Squat, probably.

[Eisur Cordastra]

You do have a point. But this campaign is a bit more lax in terms of ridiculous things that can exist. So I imagine transferring my soul into the potato would at least transfer my mental stats. I suppose the GM would allow me to have the bare minimum in terms of physical stats.

EDIT: I must add. All of that explanation bit of how Reginald became a potato, took place before the start of the campaign, so technically, I never had a character sheet, or any concrete stats before hand.

[kaineblade83]

So Reginald is, unfortunately, the smart one AND the potato one.

Sorry, Who refs aside.

... A potato. I just... Maybe now you have the Plant type? But sentient... I guess...? Mental scores from whatever race Reginald was before, and physicals... I... don't know that you'd have any? No dexterity to be mobile, no strength to move yourself along, but I suppose technically alive so a con score?

I'm out.

[Ellias Aubec]

Maybe try the animated object stuff as a basis? Maybe keep the mental stats you would of had based on your background race?

[Create Mr. Pitt]

Yeah, possibly a huge penalty to STR and DEX, but possibly immune to mind-affecting spells? Clearly in the realm of houserules. If you wanna be Mr. Potatowizard just work up a stat block and rule set with your GM.

[Bandw2]

21 RP points:
10 - Plant
4 - Tiny
-3 - Greater Weakness (-4 str, -2 dex, +2 con)
4 - Blind Sense
6 - At Will Fly

the Explosion cast Telepathic bond and permanency on you and the artificer.

[Da G8keepah]

Since you said you are mobile with the "helicopter" apparatus, I would say you should have 1 point of Str and 1 point of Dex, which would be lost if the potato is ever separated from the helicopter.
Your Con would probably be a 10 at best. More realistically, it would be 1. A potato probably only has one hit point normally but considering that a dragon polymorphed into a squirrel keeps all of its HD an argument could be made that you would keep yours as well.
If you have the same mind I would think your Int would stay the same as your humanoid self.
I'm assuming that you can see and hear like a normal human (or whatever race your character was before potatoification) so your Wis would probably stay the same. It might be funny to say that you can't hear but you can see really well because of all of your "eyes." Maybe you are immune to being flanked.
Your Cha would also likely stay the same but unless this is a talking potato you wouldn't be able to make much use of charisma-based skills. Even if you can talk, I can't imagine a potato being very intimidating or persuasive.
A potato would have the plant subtype but perhaps your character should still be vulnerable to mind-affecting magic including those which specifically target humanoids (like Charm or Hold Person).

[Sissyl]

The question is how much spellcasting you can do with 1.5 volts.

[Kobold Catgirl]

Dang, Sissyl beat me to the joke.

[Ciaran Barnes]

1.5v is nothing. But with the leadership feat...

[Artemis Moonstar]

dotting for the lulz

[FuelDrop]

You know, playing a sentient blueberry muffin might be workable...

[Vod Canockers]

But Reginald is a chip off the old block. Perhaps we should hash this out some more. Nah the whole idea is just half-baked.

[Claxon]

I prefer my potatoes twice baked.

[Imbicatus]

This idea is au grotten, but he could take a few levels in gunslinger to be able to use a spud gun.

[Snorter]

You know, the potato could be mobile, when it grows long shoots, but it wouldn't be fast. Offset that with a natural Climb speed, with its runners?

Eyes all-round, so bonus to Perception and can't be flanked (of course that assumes it has the power to attempt moving out of the way of the attack)?

[lucky7]

Vod Canockers wrote:

But Reginald is a chip off the old block. Perhaps we should hash this out some more. Nah the whole idea is just half-baked.

Eye see what you did there.

[Damon Griffin]

Ah, flashback to 1978....

1st Ed AD&D game. At one point a cursed scroll turned the Lars the Thief into a man-sized boulder. The boulder could see, hear and speak despite having no visible eyes, ears or mouth, and could move on its own, though it made a lot of noise doing so and had a movement of 3", half the speed of the group.

That player's brother acquired a Wish scroll later on...and wished that the boulder were a smaller rock. So Lars the Rock became a 100gp gemstone with the power of flight at 24" speed. He would zip ahead at ceiling height to scout the dungeon and report back. Back in town, the party would sell Lars periodically and wait for him to fly back on his own when the buyer wasn't looking.

[Kazaan]

Str: --
Dex: --
Con: --
Int: Transfer from Human form
Wis: Transfer from Human form
Cha: Transfer from Human form, -4 for trauma of having been turned into a spud

All physical stats are "--" so you treat them all as 10 and can gain no bonus nor penalty. Movement without the rotor blades would be based on the contraption. Movement without would be 2.5'/round so it takes a full-round to move 1 square (weight shifting). Fully alive but otherwise mundane plants are considered objects rather than creatures (ie, a standard Ficus is an object). You are a part of a plant, but also not quite mundane... I'd say you take on the Plant type and are fixed at 10 HP (you gain no additional HP from class HD). You have no eyes (actual eyes, no spud 'eyes') so you can't "see", but you gain 10' blindsense which becomes 15' tremorsense if you are underground. You have no mouth or hands so you can't make verbal or somatic components and can't handle material components so you'd need eschew materials for mundane components and stilled/silent for spells. You can spend 1 month researching "spud magic" on any spell you know which allows you to figure out a "version" of casting that doesn't require verbal or somatic components and doesn't increase the spell level. Size would be diminutive so your unarmed strike would deal -- damage and you have no hands with which to wield a weapon. You can fire a Ray out of one of your runners, but take -4 on the attack roll due to inability to aim properly.

[Nexus of Quantium]

I'm disappointed with some of my fellow adventurers who say this "can't be done" or "it's an abomination of science" or "mankind was not meant to play god" or “why do you buy so many potatoes?”

Cast Awaken on the potato. Modified Magic Jar (permanent) to displace it's freshly formed potato consciousness. Viola, the physical stats of a diminutive animated object with 1 Construction Point value (I would recommend Burrow).

Enjoy your new starchy lease on life.

-Nexus of Quantium

[Velcro Zipper]

Why not just make him a full-on anthropomorphic potato and become The Tuber Who Lived?

[Lincoln Hills]

Sooner or later, you're going to have to face the fate of all potatoes that are lucky enough to avoid a deep-fryer: you're going to start sprouting. At that point your companions will have to bury you, water you regularly, and - if they're thinking straight - use plant growth to accelerate your growth and animate plants to allow you an occasional change of scenery. That mini-copter is OK for now, but sooner or later you're going to have to have somebody build you a clay shield guardian with a flower pot for a head, so that you can be transplanted and roam the land terrorizing peasants.

(Are any other Buck Godot fans out there being reminded of He-Who-Must-Be-Watered?)

[Beopere]

Why not have your soul stuffed into an item? Then you can use intelligent item rules. That can include moving.

[Tiny Coffee Golem]

Just get a Magic Jar SLA. You now can use whatever body is handy. Also, you're going to have to be concerned with rotting. You've got a couple of weeks at most. I'd recommend a daily Gentle Repose, assuming it works on vegetables which I think it does.

[Lincoln Hills]

Yeah, the age categories on a potato are brutal. (On the plus side, only Constitution is a real concern - your other physical stats are '-' and cannot go down.) And don't place too much faith in your "immunity to disease," either. Ireland could tell you a thing or two about the diseases a potato can succumb to.

[Domestichauscat]

At some point this needs to happen in your game:

Video

[Apocryphile]

Your first magic item needs to be a pair of bracers of starchery..

[Dracoknight]

....why is my first thought of a full party of your every day condoments?... it would be like the little toaster all over again... just with fruits!

[Mulet]

Eisur Cordastra wrote:

I can telepathically communicate with the artificer, and only the artificer.

BAD IDEA. NOT FUN.

I'm running a campaign where one PC did not speak common. It was fun at first, but it got stale, then it got frustrating. To roleplay this correctly, every last word will have to be relayed through your proxy, back and forth.

After a while, this will become "implied" and you just go back to communicating like normal. Then when the proxy is gone, you realize there are so many situations and NPC's you simply may not interact with. The amount of disappointment you, and your party will feel will be more than you could anticipate.

You will wind up with a lot of cross talk across the table, which often dissolves into out of game jokes and banter, ruining the whole session.

Be telepathic, able to communicate with everyone in Common at least. Follow normal language rules.

DO NOT EVER RESTRICT YOUR COMMUNICATION. TABLETOP GAMES ARE 99% TALKING, 1% DICE ROLLS.

[Propsken]

...does he clap slowly?
(dottin fo da funny)

[Cevah]

What kind of potato are you. The boards need to know. Are you a couch potato? :-)

On a more serious (?) note, why not get some magic items made that you can wear? Then you could become Mr. Potato Head. Lips to allow you to speak, hands to allow you to manipulate stuff, feet to allow you to walk places, and so on. You could have a set of 'darkvision' eyes, and a set of 'regular' eyes. A nose could give you the scent ability. Put them all on, and you could make your spud more appeeling.

/cevah

[Bandw2]

am i the only one who actually did it?

[Adam Daigle]

I'm pretty sure there are different racial bonuses (or at least different traits)depending on if you're a Yukon Gold, fingerling, russet, red, or purple.

[divineshadow]

See if only it was a tomato we could do something. But attack of the killer potato just doesn't cut it.

[Sissyl]

Just watch out that this doesn't happen...

[CraziFuzzy]

I like the idea. Except the copter thing. I'd go instead for an animate plant spell, and let the sprouts act as arms and legs.

A Tiny Animated Object has the following stats:

STR 6
DEX 14
CON --
INT --
WIS 1
CHA 1

Speed 15ft
Attk Slam +1 (1d2-2)

Replacing the mental ability scores with the original from the sorcerer, and you get a form that can move (though slowly), cast spells via it's animated 'limbs'. It can't speak though, so verbal components are out. It still has 1 CP, which I agree with above, should be spent on 'Additional Movement (Borrow)'. Be nice to be able to bury yourself to rest in relative safety - unless a mole comes digging by.

Of course, you can also cross these rules with that of an intelligent object. With those, you can gain the ability to speak (even without a 'mouth'). Of course, if you are still a sorcerer in there, Alter Self is only a 2nd level spell.

[Propsken]

Found it. And this, too.
Couldn't resist. 'sides, someone had to do it. Might as well take one for the team.

[Lincoln Hills]

All these responses are heartwarming evidence that if there's one thing we gamers like, it's a character-construction question that is challenging, original, and dumb. ;)