Lines you will never, never, EVER read on the regular boards

[Lincoln Hills]

We all know 'em. Here, I'll lead off with a few - but please, try to keep them good-natured. Plenty of other threads where the claws come out.

1. "Your argument has convinced me. I see now that the position I took during my first post was in error. Although I am of course reluctant to seem weak by allowing your argument to change my opinions, your superior grasp of the rules - to say nothing of your courtesy and your masterful skill at debate - have swayed me. Thank you for helping me understand!"

2. "Since all situations regarding paladins require a fairly complete knowledge of your GM, your group, the in-game situation and even how late in the session the incident occurred, it would be presumptuous of me to apply general truisms to your particular situation."

4. "I'm worried that my anti-paladin has done too many lawful and good things. Please analyze the following situation..."

5. "Is it morally wrong to loot the dead? Because we're now sixth level, and I can't help noticing that I'm still using my starting gear."

[Grimmy]

I lol'd.

[Deadmanwalking]

Lincoln Hills wrote:

1. "Your argument has convinced me. I see now that the position I took during my first post was in error. Although I am of course reluctant to seem weak by allowing your argument to change my opinions, your superior grasp of the rules - to say nothing of your courtesy and your masterful skill at debate - have swayed me. Thank you for helping me understand!"

I've actually done this one. Well, not as flowery, but still, I've admitted being wrong. I suspect others have as well.

And at least one person has indeed b++&&ed about a Pharasmin not allowing looting of the dead.

So some of these are more rare than unheard of.

[Sissyl]

"Man, I hope our GM will send rust monsters against our group!"

[Vod Canockers]

"How do I make a character with a low DPR?"

"Rogues are incredibly overpowered."

[Haladir]

"My barbarian is so much more powerful than the other PCs in my party, it's causing tension. What should I do to lower her damage output to bring her in line with the others?"

"Our GM is incredibly accommodating to our play style, even though we know he'd rather run a bit differently. What should we do to express our appreciation?"

"Is it improper to volunteer to spring for pizza for the group? I don't want to insult anyone by paying for their dinner. If they insist, should I let them tip the deliveryman?"

[Ilja]

1 ive done and seen others do (but less verbose)
2 seems to be fairly common, at least once or twice per paladin thread.
4 and 5 i agree.

That said, it was still funny.

Vod: "rogues are OP" is avtuallu a pretty common topic.

[Philip Dhollander]

"Monks really can hold their own in the party against mostly anything our GM throws at us. In fact, he frequently outshines the barbarian and I think I need to take the barbarian's feelings into consideration and tone down my monk and take less of the spotlight in combat"

[Philip Dhollander]

"Paizo's writers and editors are really awesome. They have such an amazing grasp of the rules and everything they touch turns to gold. I really, really, really like everything they're putting out. The balance, the flavor, the power level... it's just perfect. Kudos Paizo employees!"

[Helikon]

To be horribly blunt. I have seen soo many instances where clever roleplaying and good grasp of the mechanic beats stronger classes.
Examples:
Our Paladin, (horrible diceroller through) rarely does more than 10 dpr. At level 7. With holy smite!
Our old Barbarian managed to miss about every full attack possibility by using spring-attack. Even our rogue managed to outdamage him. usually 5-1.

[Threeshades]

"I don't ban summoners from my games, I give them reasonable nerfs."

"I don't like playing with all sorts of weird player races, but I understand if other groups prefer this."

"I don't like sticking to only core races, but I understand if other groups prefer this.

[Sissyl]

"And then when the bad guy had been defeated, just to show him who's boss, I Sundered his Vorpal sword. The whole group cheered, and it was awesome!"

[Alleran]

Sissyl wrote:

"And then when the bad guy had been defeated, just to show him who's boss, I Sundered his Vorpal sword. The whole group cheered, and it was awesome!"

Hey now. There's things you'll never, ever see, and then there's destroying the loot.

Children might read that one day. You should be ashamed of yourself.

[Sissyl]

No spreading of dangerous ideas, ya? =)

[Haladir]

"And after defeating our honorable but misguided enemy, we buried him in a place of honor, wearing his armor and holding his weapons, so he can still use them in the afterlife."

[Charlie Bell]

"I love the new FAQ and I am incredibly excited about applying the rules changes in my next home game!"

[Jaelithe]

"I vow never again to create a character solely or even predominantly based on cool mechanics, optimize him to the point of laughable absurdity and then bîtch like a contemptuous little princess when 'the other players don't pull their weight.'"

"My fellow murder-hobos and I have put up our swords and formed a debating society: We shall convince every BBEG in the cosmos through our finely-honed logic to abandon their evil ways and take up community service and other charity work!"

[Beating A Dead Horse]

I vow never to put popcorn posts in a thread again.

[OBVIOUS TROLL IS OBVEOS]

I will not start threads when I have been drinking

[NobodysHome]

"Wow -- reading your description of the fight, I think you ran it perfectly as a GM and have no suggestions as to what you did wrong."

[Lincoln Hills]

I know #1 is merely very, very rare rather than being totally unheard-of. But I grow so weary of people defending ludicrous positions with increasingly weak, outlandish, illogical defenses. There comes a time to admit you were wrong, or at least that your position is simply based on emotion and not logic. Preferably before the thread passes 500 posts. ;)

Meantime, there's some really good stuff here. Oh, here's one:

"I discovered a cheap way to exploit the rules in an obviously unintended way... but I'm not going to share it because I'm afraid it would be abused by others."

[Lamontius]

the forum community is perfectly capable of policing itself and requires no moderation

[Mikaze]

Haladir wrote:

"And after defeating our honorable but misguided enemy, we buried him in a place of honor, wearing his armor and holding his weapons, so he can still use them in the afterlife."

has done this

[Lamontius]

Vod Canockers wrote:

"Rogues are incredibly overpowered."

Nope

because this

[Lincoln Hills]

"My GM likes to design his own monsters... and they're so well-balanced that we encourage him to do it more often."

[Kryzbyn]

"You should just stay in your crappy group and endure it. Why bother looking for another group or GM to play with?"

[Kryzbyn]

"I know that the rules for this spell are kinda open for interpretation, and could be seriously abused, but I think I'll save my GM some pain and go with the spirit of what's intended!"

[Conman the Bardbarian]

I signed yellowdingo's petition and you should too.

[Kryzbyn]

"Welp, my argument that psionics are overpowered has been seriously destroyed with logic and existing rules examples. I shall refrain from waiting a week or two and raising the same exact concerns again in a new thread!"

[Lincoln Hills]

The best part about that one is that you can replace the word 'psionics' with any of thirty different things and it's still a contender!

[BigNorseWolf]

I COULD read it that way but then everything would make sense!

[Vod Canockers]

"Wow, only one person has marked this as a FAQ candidate and the Paizo crew has already added the FAQ."

[Tirisfal]

Mikaze wrote:

Haladir wrote:

"And after defeating our honorable but misguided enemy, we buried him in a place of honor, wearing his armor and holding his weapons, so he can still use them in the afterlife."

has done this

I've done this in Skyrim.

[Mikaze]

Tirisfal wrote:

Mikaze wrote:

Haladir wrote:

"And after defeating our honorable but misguided enemy, we buried him in a place of honor, wearing his armor and holding his weapons, so he can still use them in the afterlife."

has done this

I've done this in Skyrim.

Old Orc. Every time.

[Hitdice]

"F.A.T.A.L. is, bar none, the single most pleasant RPG system I have ever played."

[Tirisfal]

Mikaze wrote:

Tirisfal wrote:

Mikaze wrote:

Haladir wrote:

"And after defeating our honorable but misguided enemy, we buried him in a place of honor, wearing his armor and holding his weapons, so he can still use them in the afterlife."

has done this

I've done this in Skyrim.

Old Orc. Every time.

Off topic:

I really get into the RP of my characters, and my Nord rogue has an honor streak. She only kills when not killing would threaten her life, and she only loots what she needs, leaving the bodies of her foes equipped with their armor and weapons because honor.

Except for that one particular weapon she looted from that one particular foe as a trophy that now hangs above her bed...

[Mike Franke]

I love fighters! Wait I just saw a thread on that today. Darn! :(

[John Kretzer]

"OMG Scott Betts just pointed that WotC did something wrong!"

[Lincoln Hills]

"I just realized that the post I just made was in the 'Advice' forum, when it should have gone in the 'Abuse' forum. An apology isn't enough. Come on over to my house and punch me. Here's my address..."

"It's just a game. In fact, it's just a bunch of opinions about a game. Maybe I'm taking this too seriously."

[yellowdingo]

"WOOHOO! I rolled a twenty. Suck vorpal sword!"

[Kobold Catgirl]

"Just signed Yellowdingo's new petition."

EDIT: BLAST!

[Kobold Catgirl]

"You know what we need? A vashikiran specialist with expertise in both love and black magic."

[FuelDrop]

"We realized that the entire cycle of killing things for loot which we use to kill more stuff for more loot was trapping us in a purgatory of death and violence so we beat our swords into plowshares and now run a charity farm for orphans created by the now-unopposed BBEG's rampage."

[BigNorseWolf]

Wow! that love expert changed my life!

[Kobold Catgirl]

God, I have such love problem. If only love expert could to talk helping with black magic. BABA.

[FuelDrop]

Here's a love specialist for you! Gary Brodsky, the chauvinist responsible for such classics as 'how to control women with black magic'!

Not going to post address as there's enough crap links on these boards at the moment.

[Sissyl]

s it wrong that I read one thread title as "get your love back by mantis"?I

[FuelDrop]

Sissyl wrote:

s it wrong that I read one thread title as "get your love back by mantis"?I

I'm going to say that given the content, I don't blame you at all. Everyone else on the other hand thinks you're a horrible person for misreading the stupid spam title like that.

[Sissyl]

... :(

[BigNorseWolf]

I'm leaving!

(and then nothing)