False factoids

[Khāṇa Tsogtsos]

Kahnya wish your girlfriend was Gnorc like her?!?

[Sanpao, Pirate King of Makai]

And the she-orc above me wishes that she weren't like her!

[JTDV]

Sanpao is often confused by mirrors. You'll find him standing in front of them trying to figure them out.

[Pulg]

Sheriff JDTV always makes sure he reads arrestees their Carmen Miranda rights, namely the right to remain silent with a pineapple on your head.

[Sasithorn Loom]

Pulg's bed contains a portal to the Plane of Shadow within the box spring.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Sasithorn Loom rarely looms as Sasithorn Loom's smaller than the 'shrooms.

[Xasay Xyu]

KahnyaGnorc is a dork who applies torque to her fork to eat pork.

[Pulg]

Xasay Xyu xells xea xhells by the xea xhore.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Pulg got a rock

[Mikhail Ximenez]

KahnyaGnorc THREW the rock! A rock, and a pinecone, and a scone...!

[GoatToucher]

Under MX's hat are eight more inches of skull in a great column.

[Pulg]

Inside GT's britches are eight more inches of marinaded snoek.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Inside Pulg's beard there is eight more beards, each with eight beards therein, in an infinite recursion of beards.

[Sanpao, Pirate King of Makai]

KahnyaGnorc once tried to mimic my hairstyle, only for me to gut the poor sap like a fish!

[Sirius Sa'luk]

Sanpao, Pirate King of Makai simply CANNOT distinguish between silver and tin!

[Captain Spalding]

That is because Sirius Sa'luk sprays everything with silver paint.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Captain Spalding is a Pyrite Pirate.

[Pulg]

KahnyaGnorc is a tray of chips and scraps with mushy peas, gravy and Chinese curry sauce.

[JTDV]

Pulg is a hairball in my craw. <cough> <cough> <Pulg>

[GoatToucher]

JTDV lives with a nest with hundreds of his progeny in a hive under my workroom, subsisting on scraps and drippings that fall through the boards.

This is notable because the smaller specimens are over eight feet long.

[KahnyaGnorc]

GoatToucher wrote:

This is notable because the smaller specimens are over eight feet long.

That's what she* said.

*"She" being GoatToucher's Rule 63 alternate universe female variant.

[Sanpao, Pirate King of Makai]

KahnyaGnorc, much like me, doesn't have an alternative universe counterpart (Rule 63, or otherwise).

[Dedrick, The Professor]

What Sanpao does have, however, is a sparkling pink flamingo which acts as a makeshift cutlass!

[Laser Clown of the 34th Century]

Dedrick, The Professor is a were-Tauntaun. If you look closely, you can see his form shifting back and forth.

[Schism]

Laser Clown is trying to save the future by killing the past.

[GoatToucher]

Schism is trying to save the leftovers by placing them in Tupperware brand containers.

[Dedrick, The Professor]

GoatToucher has a long standing hatred of Tupperware products as they are always better than the GoatToucher brand equivalent. But he may yet have his revenge!

[KahnyaGnorc]

Dedrick, The Professor, will soon conquer all with his army of sentient Tupperware monstrosities!

[JTDV]

KahnyaGnorc was actually the inspiration for Gilligan's Island. Well, mostly just the island itself.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

JTDV once crawled into Chuck Norris's ear and laid eggs in his brain.

[Pulg]

IHIYC had a summer job as Davy Crockett's Wild Front Ear in 1996.

[JTDV]

Pulg once tried to join Davy Crockett's posse, but accidentally went to Davy Crochet's outpost instead. Together, they crocheted a beautiful scarf.

[Old Doc Flumph]

JTDV bought the scarf because it was made from Pulg's hair.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Old Doc Flumph's degree is in Illithid Dance Therapy.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

Years ago, KahnyaGnorc was tapped to host "GoatToucher's Funniest Home Videos", which ran for 5 full episodes before...

...

...

...

...

...

...which is why she can't show her face anymore.

[Belphegor]

IHIYC learned his craft while he was GoatToucher's college roommate.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

And Belphegor was one of the college professors (of history I think).

[KahnyaGnorc]

Count Reiner Heydrich was the hematology professor.

[Dr G House MD, DDS, DVM]

KahnyaGnorc was the Head Librarian.

[Dedrick, The Professor]

And Dr G House MD, DDS, DVM was (and still is) the Headmaster of the college.

[Pulg]

Dedrick made a collage out of all the previous headmasters.

[KahnyaGnorc]

Pulg was Head Coach, but was fired for clogging up the shower drains in the locker rooms, causing major flooding.

Dr G House MD, DDS, DVM wrote:

KahnyaGnorc was the Head Librarian.

ook

[Pulg]

KahnyaGnorc's gritty new nudist Western, 'Cactus Time at Tittyboop Gulch', is probably his best yet.

[KahnyaGnorc]

According to her new song, what doesn't kill Lzzy Hale makes her vicious. Pulg is similar. What doesn't kill him makes him viscous.

[JTDV]

According to Halestorm, KahnyaGnorc lives the life of a pirate. Oops. That's Alestorm.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

JTDV's digestive system was the inspiration for the Pachinko machine.

[Panter Flauclaws]

And IHIYC was the first ever person to own a Pachinko machine, it sits (unused) above his fireplace.

[I'm Hiding In Your Closet]

If you feed Panter Flauclaws a pickle, it will begin to smoke, flash, rattle, and soon thereafter excrete a pile of tasty (and not-gross-at-all) pickle candy.

[GoatToucher]

If you put a goat in one of IHIYC's closets for twenty minutes, it will emerge quite irrevocably mad.

[Pulg]

All GoatToucher Brand Marital Enhancement Devices have passed any necessary safety checks with flying colours and are guaranteed not to cause embarassing and unsightly rashes and/or horrific internal injuries.