His ragepouncelance routine usually involves three lance. You don't want to know what the third one is.
Pretty sure this is supposed to be a silly thread, so off to Off-Topic it goes.
BARBARIAN LANCE AM REQUIRE MANY HANDS. AM ENTIRE THIRD WORLD COUNTY FILLED WITH SKILLED CRAFTSMEN WHO MAKE LANCES. OF THESE, ONLY LIKE SIX AM EVER BEEN GOOD ENOUGH TO EVEN BE CONSIDERED FOR LANCE. BARBARIAN WENT WITH ONE THAT LOOK MOST LIKE DRILL. AM CORKSCREW LANCE. AM ALWAYS NEEDING TWO HANDS FOR BONUS DAMAGE. IF BARBARIAN HAVE THIRD HAND, LANCE WOULD NEED THREE HANDS. AM LIKE 2X STRENGTH TO PENETRATION POWER OF LANCE.
POINT AM, BARBARIAN LANCE REQUIRE ALL HANDS, ALWAYS.
Fish wonders what AM BARBARIAN's favourite occupation is.
Professor of language studies.
Fish wonders what AM BARBARIAN's favourite occupation is.
AM 'SMASH CASTY' OCCUPATION? IF AM, THAT AM BARBARIAN FAVORITE OCCUPATION.
IF NOT, AM EITHER ENGINEERING CAREFULLY CONTROLLED IMPLOSIONS OF BUILDINGS WITH RAGELANCEPOUNCE SUNDER, OR ELSE RUNNING BARBARIAN OWN FINANCIAL INSTITUTION. BOTH AM MIGHTYFINE.
Fish wonders what AM BARBARIAN's favourite occupation is.AM 'SMASH CASTY' OCCUPATION? IF AM, THAT AM BARBARIAN FAVORITE OCCUPATION.
IF NOT, AM EITHER ENGINEERING CAREFULLY CONTROLLED IMPLOSIONS OF BUILDINGS WITH RAGELANCEPOUNCE SUNDER, OR ELSE RUNNING BARBARIAN OWN FINANCIAL INSTITUTION. BOTH AM MIGHTYFINE.
Diplomat.
RAGELANCEPOUNCE AM EXCELLENT FOR SETTLING DISAGREEMENT.
RAGELANCEPOUNCE AM EXCELLENT FOR SETTLING DISAGREEMENT.
Agreed. We'll make you attaché to France if you promise to use that strategy.
|
Dear AM BARBARIAN,
I am assuming you are a 3.5 barbarian and not a PF barbarian due to your seemingly inherent distrust of all things "casty". If this is true, how are you responding to our questions? Aren't 3.5 barbarians illiterate?
And isn't that really why you have a violent dislike for "castys"? The fact they are always reading, just seeming to rub your stubby little nose in it? Seeming to flaunt their assumed superiority over you just because letters looks like squiggles and you never learned to tie a bootlace, so you have to wear pull up boots.
Just curious.
Dear AM BARBARIAN,
I am assuming you are a 3.5 barbarian and not a PF barbarian due to your seemingly inherent distrust of all things "casty". If this is true, how are you responding to our questions? Aren't 3.5 barbarians illiterate?
And isn't that really why you have a violent dislike for "castys"? The fact they are always reading, just seeming to rub your stubby little nose in it? Seeming to flaunt their assumed superiority over you just because letters looks like squiggles and you never learned to tie a bootlace, so you have to wear pull up boots.
Just curious.
Oooh snap
|
He also has a PHD in Engineering. ;)Superstition is a Pathfinder rage power. ;)Dear AM BARBARIAN,
I am assuming you are a 3.5 barbarian and not a PF barbarian due to your seemingly inherent distrust of all things "casty".
Engineers don't trust castys?
I was referring to the thought that AM BARBARIAN was illiterate.
Dear AM BARBARIAN,
I am assuming you are a 3.5 barbarian and not a PF barbarian due to your seemingly inherent distrust of all things "casty". If this is true, how are you responding to our questions? Aren't 3.5 barbarians illiterate?
And isn't that really why you have a violent dislike for "castys"? The fact they are always reading, just seeming to rub your stubby little nose in it? Seeming to flaunt their assumed superiority over you just because letters looks like squiggles and you never learned to tie a bootlace, so you have to wear pull up boots.
Just curious.
AM EXCELLENT QUESTION. BARBARIAN AM PATHFINDER BARBARIAN, AM ABLE TO READ. ALSO HAVE HEART OF THE FIELDS, AM USING BONUS TO PROFESSION TO GET ENGINEERING DEGREE. FULL NAME AM DR. BARBARIAN AM BARBARIAN, PHD.
WHY HATE CASTYS SO MUCH? DEPENDS ON TYPE OF CASTY. WIZARD AM STEALING BARBARIAN THESIS AND PUBLISH AS OWN, BARBARIAN HAVE TO RESTART ENTIRE MASTERS THESIS PAPER FROM SCRATCH WITH TWO DAYS LEFT. AM NOT FUN. SMASH.
SORCERERS USE WORDS AND TALK MORE THAN 50 SECONDS ALWAYS. AM INSTANT SMASH.
CLERICS AM HAVING HOLIER THAN BARBARIAN ATTITUDE. AM JERKS. SMASH.
ORACLES AM EVEN WORSE THAN CLERICS. AM SAYING GODS SEEK THEM FOR POWER. YEAH? GODS AVOID BARBARIAN BECAUSE AM KNOWING BARBARIAN SMASH GODS. SMASH ORACLE.
WITCH ONCE LOOKED FUNNY AT BARBARIAN AND LAUGH. SMASH SQUISHY CASTY EYES OUT OF SQUISHY CASTY HEAD.
DRUIDS AM OK THOUGH. NOT SMASH DRUID, USUALLY.
AND BARBARIAN CAN TOTALLY TIE SHOES. AM DESIGN COMPLETELY NEW SHOES, AM GIVE +5 COMPETENCE BONUS TO TIE SHOES CHECKS.
AM NOT USE ROPE ANYMORE, WHAT THAT UNDER NOW?
DRUIDS AM OK THOUGH. NOT SMASH DRUID, USUALLY.
AM APPRECIATE.
DRUID AND BARBARIAN AM HAVE COMMON GROUND. BOTH AM LOOK MIGHTYFINE IN HIDE ARMOR.
|
Fish wonders what AM BARBARIAN's favourite occupation is.AM 'SMASH CASTY' OCCUPATION? IF AM, THAT AM BARBARIAN FAVORITE OCCUPATION.
IF NOT, AM EITHER ENGINEERING CAREFULLY CONTROLLED IMPLOSIONS OF BUILDINGS WITH RAGELANCEPOUNCE SUNDER, OR ELSE RUNNING BARBARIAN OWN FINANCIAL INSTITUTION. BOTH AM MIGHTYFINE.
Fish would like to tell DR. AM BARBARIAN that he is sorry. He meant "occupation" in the sense of "pastime."
AM CAVALIER WANT TO KNOW WHY EVERYBODY HATE AM SO MUCH?
AM CAVALIER, you're the worst character ever.
AM CAVALIER, you're the worst character ever.
AM KNOWS. :(
Does AM BARBARIAN have any comments on the recent hiring of a Dr. Conan T. Barbarian, B.A. (Cimmeria), Ph.D (UCD), F.T.C.D. (Long Room Hub Associate Professor in Hyborian Studies and Tyrant Slaying) by Trinity College, Dublin.
According to his profile, he was "ripped from his mother's womb on the corpse-strewn battlefields of his war-torn homeland, Cimmeria, and has been preparing for academic life ever since. A firm believer in the dictum that 'that which does not kill us makes us stronger', he took time out to avenge the murder of his parents following a sojourn pursuing his strong interest in Post-Colonial theory at the Sarbonne."
"Apparrently Dr. Barbarian's Ph.D was entitled To Hear the Lamentations of Their Women: Constructions in Masculinity in Contemporary Zamoran Literature and he was appointed to the School of English in 2006 "after successfully decapitating his predecessor during a bloody battle which will long be remembered in story and song." His courses for the 2011/12 academic year will be 'The Relevance of Crom in the Modern World', 'Theories of Literature', 'Vengeance for Beginners', 'Deciphering the Riddle of Steel' and 'D.H. Lawrence'."
Speaking as a fellow engineer, I understand the usual disdain held of those in the humanities fields, but I'm curious how the ties and support of barbarianship work across different areas of study and employment.
BARBARIAN VERY HAPPY TO SEE OTHER NON-CRAPPY BARBARIANS PURSUING HIGHER EDUCATION. AM JOYOUS, MONUMENTAL DAY THAT SOCIETY AS WHOLE AM DECIDING TO ACCEPT BARBARIANS AS BEST CLASS AT ALL THINGS, ALWAYS, TEACHING INCLUDED. AM LOOKING FORWARD TO SEE CONAN CURRICULUM, AM POSSIBLY NOT SUNDER SCHOOL IF CONAN AM GIVEN TENURE. REGARDLESS OF USELESSNESS OF ANY SCIENCE OR ART NOT DEVOTED TO SMASH, AM STILL GREAT ACHIEVEMENT AND AM MUCH MORE EVIDENCE IN BARBARIAN NOT-BARBARIAN DESTRUCITY.
CLEARLY, CONAN AM URBAN BARBARIAN.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Fish would like to tell DR. AM BARBARIAN that he is sorry. He meant "occupation" in the sense of "pastime."
AM OK. BARBARIAN NOT PUT ANY POINTS IN SENSE MOTIVE BECAUSE AM SMASHING PEOPLE AT 50 SECONDS TALKY TIME, NOT MUCH ROOM FOR BLUFF. BARBARIAN ANSWER BETTER NOW.
BARBARIAN FAVORITE PASTIME BETWEEN ROUNDS OF CASTY SMASHING AND WORK AM BUILDING TREE-FORTS. BARBARIAN CURRENT RECORD FOR BEST TREE-FORT STANDS IN BRANCHES OF YGGDRASIL (AM REALLY BIG TREE BARBARIAN HAVE IN BACKYARD). FORT AM TAKING UP ALL BRANCHES OF YGGDRASIL. AM CALLED ASGARD NOW DAYS, BARBARIAN PRETTY SURE.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
AM CAVALIER WANT TO KNOW WHY EVERYBODY HATE AM SO MUCH?
PEOPLE AM NOT TAKING TIME OUT OF BUSY DAY TO DETERMINE HOW CAVALIER WORKS. CLASS AM INTRICATE AND COMPLICATED, MUCH LIKE BARBARIAN. HOWEVER, UNLIKE BARBARIAN, AM NO BARBARIAN RAGE POWERS TO MAKE CAVALIER AWESOME. THUS, AM FALLING TO THE WAYSIDE UNTIL CAVALIER GET POWER OF SPELL SUNDER.
ALSO AM MOUNTED CLASS ON WORLD WITH MOSTLY INDOOR MISSIONS. BARBARIAN ONLY GET AWAY WITH THAT BECAUSE BARBARIAN DROP ENTIRE RUINS, FORTS, AND TOWERS WITH WELL-PLACED SUNDER. AM MAIN REASON BARBARIAN EVEN HAVE ENGINEERING DEGREE.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Fish has another query: "uh duhhhh [sic] what is ma barbarans [sic] ides [thoughts] on cheap nokoffs [sic]?"
BARBARIAN THOUGHTS AM AS FOLLOWS:
>GUY AM THERE. AM TALKING LIKE BARBARIAN.
>WHY AM BARBARIAN THINKING?
>DO WHAT BARBARIAN FEEL AM BEST. THINKING AM CAUSING DEATH.
>STOP THINKING. BARBARIAN THEN ACT.
AS FOR BARBARIAN FEELINGS? BARBARIAN FEEL NO ISSUES WITH PEOPLE WHO AM WANTING TO STEP WITH BARBARIAN. BARBARIAN AM LIKE ELEVENTY BILLION NATURAL 20S IN A ROW, AM GETTING WHY PEOPLE WANT TO BE LIKE BARBARIAN. BARBARIAN RECOGNIZE, HOWEVER, NOT EVERYONE AM ABLE TO GRASP UNTRICATE SUBTLETIES OF BEING AWESOME.
BARBARIAN GIVE FREE HINT: BARBARIAN AM TALKING LIKE THIS, BUT BARBARIAN AM MASTER OF RULES-FU, AM TAKE ANY CASTY TO MAT WITHIN RAW OF GAME, ALWAYS. BARBARIAN ALSO HAVING NO PROBLEM DISSEMINATING ADVICE. BARBARIAN GIVE GOOD ADVICE WHEN ASKED. AM PROBABLY BAD IDEA TO PLAY CHEAP KNOCKOFF IF SQUISHY BEHIND WHEEL AM NOT ABLE TO GET HOW CHARACTER WORKS IN HIGH END OPTIMIZED AREA.
BARBARIAN GIVE ANOTHER FREE HINT: IF AIMING FOR PROPER BARBARIAN-SPEAK, NOT REFER TO SELF AS AM. BARBARIAN AM BARBARIAN AM BARBARIAN. AM BASIC STUFF.
EVEN IF CAN, THOUGH, AM NEVER BE AWESOME LIKE BARBARIAN. BARBARIAN AM MAKING CASTYS NEW MARTIALS. AM SUNDER SPELLS, AM SUNDER WEAPONS, AM SUNDER ALL.
AM PALADIN PRETTY NEAT THOUGH. THAT GUY AM GET IT FOR SURE.
GRAH!!!
<AM JEALOUS!>*
*translated from Orc.
Dear DR. BARBARIAN AM BARBARIAN, PHD
Have you ever given thought to possibly raising a horde and conquering Golarion and if yes are you by chance hiring? I dont have the good fortune of being a barbarian but am willing to learn.
Dear DR. BARBARIAN AM BARBARIAN, PHD
Have you ever given thought to possibly raising a horde and conquering Golarion and if yes are you by chance hiring? I dont have the good fortune of being a barbarian but am willing to learn.
BARBARIAN ONCE CONSIDERED THIS WAY LONG AGO. ALMOST GET TOGETHER SUPPLIES AND RESOURCES TO TAKE OVER GOLARION. ALMOST. THEN BARBARIAN REMEMBER THAT CONQUERING WORLD MEANING BARBARIAN HAVE TO RULE WORLD. BARBARIAN HAVE TO BE THE GUY WHO AM DEALING WITH EVERYONE'S PROBLEMS, EVERYWHERE, ALWAYS. BARBARIAN AM AWESOME, AND BARBARIAN AM ABLE TO SOLVE EVERY PROBLEM WITH SMASH. BARBARIAN NOT ABLE TO SUNDER EVERY PROBLEM EVERYWHERE SIMULTANEOUSLY. THEN BARBARIAN LOOK INTO OVERHEAD COST OF TRAINING OTHER NON-CRAPPY BARBARIANS TO SUNDER. THEN BARBARIAN CONSIDER POSSIBILITY OF ONE OF OTHER NON-CRAPPY BARBARIANS RAISING ARMY OF PEOPLE WHO STILL HAVE PROBLEMS FROM BARBARIAN NOT BEING ABLE TO SUNDER EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE AT SAME TIME AND TRYING OVERTHROW BARBARIAN.
THEN BARBARIAN HEAD STARTED HURTING. BARBARIAN DECIDE SUNDER PLAN INSTEAD. AM WAY SIMPLER.
What do you use to cure headaches?
SUNDER. NOT ON HEADACHE, ON WHATEVER AM CAUSING HEADACHE.
Pinot Noir or Merlot with lamb?
MERLOT WITH LAMB. PINOT NOIR BY ITSELF NOT NEARLY AS FILLING.
What do you do in a situation where a parallel universe AM BARBARIAN, of equal stats and equipment comes after you and gets the first smash in due to winning initiative?
What do you do in a situation where a parallel universe AM BARBARIAN, of equal stats and equipment comes after you and gets the first smash in due to winning initiative?
THIS ACTUALLY HAPPEN ONE TIME TO BARBARIAN. THING AM, ALL BARBARIANS ACROSS MULTIVERSE AM HAVING PACT TO NEVER ATTACK EACH OTHER. WHETHER BE BARBARIAN FROM SECOND EARTH, OR BARBARIBOY PRIME, OR EVEN CYBORG BARBARIAN FROM SHADOWRUN. IF AM EVER MEET, AM PARTY UP AND GET MUCH DRUNK, GETTING MANY MIGHTYFINE LADIES.
BARBARIAN REMEMBER GETTING SO TOTALLY SMASHED THAT NIGHT, AM NOT SURE WHAT BARBARIAN DID. ALL BARBARIAN KNOW FOR SURE AM THAT OTHERBARIAN'S PANTS AM DISAPPEARING, AND BABA YAGA AM NO LONGER ALIVE. AM PROBABLY DISAPPOINT IRISSEN WHEN AM TIME FOR HER RETURN. BARBARIANS AM SMASH EVERY CASTY.
Isn't engineering a knowledge skill, not a profession?
Isn't engineering a knowledge skill, not a profession?
AM BOTH.
YOU AM SKILLED AT JOB. LIKE CRAFT, KNOWLEDGE, AND PERFORM, PROFESSION AM ACTUALLY NUMBER OF SEPARATE SKILLS. YOU COULD HAVE SEVERAL PROFESSION SKILLS, EACH WITH OWN RANKS. WHILE CRAFT REPRESENT ABILITY IN CREATING ITEM, PROFESSION REPRESENT APTITUDE IN VOCATION REQUIRING BROADER RANGE OF LESS SPECIFIC KNOWLEDGE. MOST COMMON PROFESSION SKILLS AM ARCHITECT, BAKER, BARRISTER, BREWER, BUTCHER, CLERK, COOK, COURTESAN, DRIVER, ENGINEER, FARMER, FISHERMAN, GAMBLER, GARDENER, HERBALIST, INNKEEPER, LIBRARIAN, MERCHANT, MIDWIFE, MILLER, MINDER, PORTER, SAILOR, SCRIBE, SHEPARD, STABLE MASTER, SOLDIER, TANNER, TRAPPER, AND WOODCUTTER.
FIGURING OUT HOW TO PROPERLY IMPLODE CAVERN AM MORE PRACTICAL THAN SMARTICAL, CLEARLY PROFESSION AM SUPERIOR SKILL.
Is it okay if I favourite all of your posts?
Is it okay if I favourite all of your posts?
AM 190% OK.
(REMAINING 10% NOT SHOW UP FOR VOTE. AM OK TO IGNORE THEM.)
AM CENTAUR SEEN AM BARBARIAN PLUS AM DRUID IN FOREST SOMETIMES. LIKE WHAT HE SEE. WANT TO JOIN LOVE FEST WITH LONG SPEAR AND BOW THAT SHOOT HARD!
PLUS AM BACK END OF HORSE! ALL AMS KNOW WHAT THAT MEAN!
UM. BARBARIAN NOT SWING THAT WAY. MOUNT AM NOT SUPPOSED TO HAVE UPPER PART OF PERSON, UNLESS AM LADYPERSON UPPER PART.
THEN BARBARIAN MAYBE USE AS MOUNT. ONLY IF AM ABLE TO FLY AND SEE INVISIBLE THINGS WITH SENSES.
BARBARIAN NOT KNOW WHAT BARBARIAN MISSING.
OH WELL, CENTAUR HAVE BAT WING DRIDER GIRL COUSIN BARBARIAN COULD SOMETIME LIKE TO MEET.
BARBARIAN MIGHT ALREADY KNOW COUSIN. AM NAME BATTY BAT?
BARBARIAN MIGHT ALREADY KNOW COUSIN. AM NAME BATTY BAT?BARBARIAN NOT KNOW WHAT BARBARIAN MISSING.
OH WELL, CENTAUR HAVE BAT WING DRIDER GIRL COUSIN BARBARIAN COULD SOMETIME LIKE TO MEET.
CENTAUR AM AFRAID BAT WING DRIDER GIRL COUSIN KNOWN MANY NAMES BY MANY BARBARIANS. CENTAUR HAVE OWN NAME FOR HER. GOOD THING COUSIN BY MARRIED.
CENTAUR AM AFRAID BAT WING DRIDER GIRL COUSIN KNOWN MANY NAMES BY MANY BARBARIANS. CENTAUR HAVE OWN NAME FOR HER. GOOD THING COUSIN BY MARRIED.
OH. BARBARIAN PROBABLY NOT KNOW THEN. BATTY BAT AM BATTY BAT'S ONLY NAME.
Dear A. Barbarian PHD,
WHat is you opinion of flumphs?
AM NOT SURE. AM FLUMPH SOME KIND OF CASTY? IF SO, BARBARIAN OPINION AM SMASH.