In my experience we call armadillos road kill.
My friend thought his computer might have a virus and asked me to take a look at it. So I did, and then told him "It doesn't have a virus. It's just physically ill from all the disgusting things you use it to look at."
Like what?
I!.. uh Wha... yeah OK that's fair.
I swear gran's whole family is on this thing. It's weird how aware of his post they are.
| 10 people marked this as a favorite. |
Safe in London!
|
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
** spoiler omitted **...
He ate, drank and slept tractors. On his 17th birthday he was thrilled to get an invitation to go to a tractor factory nearby and test-drive a brand new tractor.
His excitement was incredible as he told his family and friends. The great day came and he went to the factory for the test-drive.
Unfortunately something went terribly wrong with the tractor when Joe was driving it and it flipped over, trapping and breaking Joe's leg.
He was so upset and tried to sue the tractor company for negligence. But the company would have none of it and told him there was no liability
and he could get lost!
You can imagine he was very annoyed with tractors after this and vowed to shed them from his life completely and forever. All the posters came down, the toys were given away - tractors were GONE.
Broken hearted, Joe sits in his house, in a wheelchair, waiting for his leg to heal.
Then one morning, as he's sitting in the garden, he hears sirens, and can see smoke rising from the end of the block. Curious, he rolls over in his wheelchair to check out what is going on.
The house at the end of the block is on fire, and a lady and a baby are trapped inside, the firefighters cant get to them. So Joe rolls closer, but the firemen stop him. He waves them off, saying he got this. He then sucks in such a huge breath, that he sucks away all oxygen from the fire.
The fire dies down and the woman and baby can be saved.
The firefighters gather round in amazement.
"How did you manage to do that?!"
"Eeasy."
"I'm an ex tractor fan."
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
** spoiler omitted **...** spoiler omitted **
Really I had to read all that for that punch line? *groan* :)
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Safe in London!
Awright!
you too.
| 5 people marked this as a favorite. |
Safe in London!
Welclum toe ar baeutifule cruntry.
| 6 people marked this as a favorite. |
Hmmm...I had a four day weekend. I wonder if I still hate people.
Oh. Yeah. That didn't change anything. But, you know, it's just one day. Tomorrow is going to be fine, because we went through all the pain today.
You know what? I was wrong to ever try for optimism in this company. Bring me death.
Ok, so that didn't happen, but I really would like to.
They finally decided to update the remote users on VDI to Windows 10. Some issues are unavoidable. There is user-specific configurations that have to happen, and that's just the way it is.
So we give them *very clearly* written instructions for those programs that need it.
Apparently typing their email address and password into Program A is too much for them, and they couldn't be bothered to continue trying anything else.
Oh...but wait...this one isn't their fault...the desktop icon for this program is broken. Ok...go to Start Menu and search for the program...there it is. Click on it. Oh. It's finishing...the installation...wait. What? Why is it doing that? And now we have to configure it for each individual user after that as well? Oh, and you never set the default program for pdf files? It's still set to Edge? Which doesn't work with other in-house software? And you didn't install half their Office applications? What?
Wait...how many people tested this before you unleashed it on them?
YOU'RE GOING ON HOLIDAY THE DAY AFTER UNLEASHING THIS ON THEM??
Seriously. Some of this is on the users. They refuse to follow good instructions. But the guy who is in charge of making sure this crap all works also didn't listen to my team or the users, dumped this on them, and then left for a vacation. My team and I are left to clean this up.
Will Work For Sanity.
| 5 people marked this as a favorite. |
So, I can’t sleep on planes, so the bad news is that I was up for just over 34 hours straight on Sunday and Monday. The good news is that it throws my body so out of whack that I’ve never in my life suffered jet lag. But Impus Minor got hit hard, and Impus Major and Shiro were hurting, so a low-key day of the British Museum, the National Gallery, and dinner at a well-rated English “diner” (The Great Queen Cafe on, surprisingly enough, Great Queen Street. SO unAmerican!).
I was going to do crosswords, but looks like GothBard’s conking out, so I should call it a night. More tomorrow?
| 6 people marked this as a favorite. |
Hey John.
Welclum toe ar baeutifule cruntry.
Yeah, this year's influenza vaccine is largely ineffective against this new, more resistant, Welsh flu.
| 4 people marked this as a favorite. |
Copycat recipe for tonight's experiment dinner of "halal cart" chicken & rice (+ pita bread & salad) is underway. Everything prepped, salad & pita are ready, white sauce is fridge melding, and chicken is marinating. A half-hour before dinner, just need to start the rice cooking and then start the chicken in the big skillet. #MiseEnPlace
Welclum toe ar baeutifule cruntry.Yeah, this year's influenza vaccine is largely ineffective against this new, more resistant, Welsh flu.
Oh s~#@! I'm partially Welsh!!
| 7 people marked this as a favorite. |
Welclum toe ar baeutifule cruntry.Yeah, this year's influenza vaccine is largely ineffective against this new, more resistant, Welsh flu.
That isn't Welsh. It has consonants in.
| 3 people marked this as a favorite. |
Copycat recipe for tonight'sexperimentdinner of "halal cart" chicken & rice (+ pita bread & salad) is underway. Everything prepped, salad & pita are ready, white sauce is fridge melding, and chicken is marinating. A half-hour before dinner, just need to start the rice cooking and then start the chicken in the big skillet. #MiseEnPlace
Usually the parents are like 5-year-olds when it comes to trying new foods, but they both cleaned their plates and pronounced it good. This feels really weird.
Rice was nothing fancy, and the basic salad & pita are exactly what you'd expect, but the yogurt-curry powder-garlic-spices-marinated chicken was really good.
That strip of Full Frontal Nerdity made me think of Freehold...
What?
It's true, the movie is evil!| 7 people marked this as a favorite. |
I think we need to have a fawtl cook off.
No, NH is not allowed in it.
| 3 people marked this as a favorite. |
Ooh, ooh, I'm bringing my braised lamb!
| 2 people marked this as a favorite. |
Ooh, ooh, I'm bringing my braised lamb!
Dammit, DQ will be tough to beat!
I must work on my Seared Crispy Skin Duck Breast With Duck Fat Fried Pomme De Terre and Pencil-Thin Asparagus to beat her!
| 4 people marked this as a favorite. |
I know! We can have NH be the judge!
that's a great idea.
I'm too wiped out this summer to make anything, much less competitively.
I think we already went over that and they said no cannibalism.
Alphabet soup?
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Beefaghetti.
I used to date a girl who was obsessed with carpentry. Eventually I told her "You have to choose: Me, or your tools!"
She chose the ladder.
Their's some joke about one being a tool in here somewhere but i'm to lazy to find it.
| 1 person marked this as a favorite. |
Here's a deep cut Tolkien joke:
Why does Melkor have a larger collection of back clothing than Sauron? Because he's Morgoth.
Typo =)
New alias for you gran. "Ninja editor"