Swinomancer

Slaadish Chef's page

76 posts. Alias of Ambrosia Slaad.


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Gary Teter wrote:
How can I enjoy artichokes more often?

Build a transporter, duplicate a few chokes, and keep the pattern in active memory.

Also works on fat juicy kobolds.


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Orthos wrote:
Thomas Seitz wrote:
Broccoli is fine with cheese. It's also fine with butter. But mostly it's best in brown gravy much like Brussels sprouts.
I don't think I've ever tried that, I'll have to give it a shot.

This recipe for roasted broccoli is quite good. The roasting mellows out the sulfur compounds in the broccoli. You can substitute cashew pieces, pistachios, or slivered almonds for the pine nuts. You can sub dried basil for fresh, but reduce it to 2 tsp dried and let it rehydrate for a few minutes in the lemon juice before tossing.

But yeah, broccoli and brussel sprouts are both good with brown gravy. But they're even better in Fannie Farmer's milk gravy. For maximum deliciousness, use bacon drippings (aka grease from cooked bacon) for the fat.


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lisamarlene wrote:

WW's fiftieth birthday is Thursday, and his big party is Saturday evening. At our house.

I am trying to stay positive and not devolve into a mass of insecurity and anxiety to the point of hysteria, mostly because I've got work to do, but we're going to have about fifty people in our backyard and I'm making most of the food. And there's cleaning and baking and various other preparations, not to mention my actual job.
I hate parties.
I mean, I like the idea of parties, and other people, existing, in theory, I just want them all to go far, far away.

Do you have (or can you borrow) a few crockpots/slow cookers? They are good for buffet-style service, and there are a lot of things you can make in them that only require minimal prep. What's your menu going to be like?

I don't envy you at all being stuck with that many people. Hope it isn't too nerve-wracking & exhausting for you.


Just a Mort wrote:

Now I need to find some greens to stuff in, I'm thinking of okra stir fried with onion with soya sauce added.

Red...I dunno too. Capsicum again?

Trying to get different vegetables, so I can literally eat the rainbow.

If you're thinking red veggies, I try to keep jars of roasted red bell pepper slices and sun-dried tomatoes (packed in olive oil) in the fridge. Hopefully your local market will have them both for cheaper than Amazon. They both pack a nice punch of flavor and nutrition.

Edit: Casts invisibility on self to hopefully avoid making Woran even hungrier.


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Sweet potatoes cut into fries; fried in peanut oil; and seasoned with some seasoned salt, cumin, and teeny bit of cayenne powder are mighty good.

Not fond of grits itself, but poured into a baking dish, chilled until it sets up, then cut into squares and fried (there may be a pattern here) are pretty good with crispy bacon and shrimp.


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Monkey Santa wrote:

You know the part of every cookie recipe that says "Let cool..."?

They're not the boss of me.

OK, I am officially jealous of Monkey Santa's kitchen. I covet that gas range & oven.


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I also blame Cosmo that dinner tonight mostly sucked.


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Gary Teter wrote:
What happens when I salt the pasta water?

If you're precise & accurate, or just lucky, culinary magic. (Børk børk børk)


DeathQuaker wrote:
Woran wrote:
Vidmaster7 wrote:

*shudder* Kale....

I tried a recipe that involved honey and chili powder and a few other strong flavors in hopes of making Kale eatable. It failed.

I always wondered what this super healthy kale thing was and why people were obsessed with it.

Untill I googled it.

We've been eating this for centuries. Boiled, then mashed in with potatoes and gravy, and eaten with smoked sausage.

Weird people putting it in a smoothy.

While colcannon is definitely the best way to consume kale (don't forget liberal quantities of butter), in all seriousness I really like lancinato/dinosaur kale lightly sauteed with lemon and garlic (liberal quantities of butter don't hurt that one either, but a MUFA-based oil can be used for those avoiding saturated fats). (But you should always eat kale with some bit of fat or you won't benefit from the carotenoids.)

I've only eaten kale the same way I usually eat spinach or collard greens: cook it down in skillet with olive oil, chuck in a generous amount of minced garlic, and cook it until the garlic is done but not burnt. Usually serve it alongside some form of slow-braised pork or chuck roast (both also stuffed with garlic), garlic mashed potatoes, and country gravy.

Edit: I don't have smoothies because I hate having to handwash the blender.


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Slaadish Chef wrote:
Copycat recipe for tonight's experiment dinner of "halal cart" chicken & rice (+ pita bread & salad) is underway. Everything prepped, salad & pita are ready, white sauce is fridge melding, and chicken is marinating. A half-hour before dinner, just need to start the rice cooking and then start the chicken in the big skillet. #MiseEnPlace

Usually the parents are like 5-year-olds when it comes to trying new foods, but they both cleaned their plates and pronounced it good. This feels really weird.

Rice was nothing fancy, and the basic salad & pita are exactly what you'd expect, but the yogurt-curry powder-garlic-spices-marinated chicken was really good.


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Copycat recipe for tonight's experiment dinner of "halal cart" chicken & rice (+ pita bread & salad) is underway. Everything prepped, salad & pita are ready, white sauce is fridge melding, and chicken is marinating. A half-hour before dinner, just need to start the rice cooking and then start the chicken in the big skillet. #MiseEnPlace


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Børg Børg Børg!


Java Man wrote:
"But it's a dry heat." And "hot enough for you?" In Phoenix neither of these should ever be used.

Dry heat or moist heat, it still cooks you.

Saying "Hot enough for you?" during a Florida summer is legally the equivalent of the asker granting the listener consent to be justifiably homicided.


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captain yesterday wrote:
Ambrosia Slaad wrote:
I am 37 yro. Tomorrow will be the first time I have ever attempted to make chili.
I'm 42 and have yet to attempt such a feat, though that's mostly because (gasp!) I hate chili.

I have been extremely unenthused by chili, ranking it somewhere around meatloaf. I will eat it if I'm very hungry and there is family/peer pressure to partake in it (like when Mom makes it); otherwise, I avoid it. Mom and Dad love it (and meatloaf).

I'm going through a couple dozen recipes today and attempting to Frankenstein/Brundlefly a chili recipe with some Cos'damned flavor, yet still mild enough not to freak out Mom's & Dad's tastebuds.


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Freehold DM wrote:
Drejk wrote:
Freehold DM wrote:
when you're drunk at 3 am, and you have vegetarians in your party, who is helping you to sober up? Not McDonalds.
French fries are still veggies.
too many issues around what kind of fat they are cooked in.

Nope. McDonald's stopped frying their fries in beef fat back in 1990 and switched to vegetable oil. Whatever objections people may have to McD's, their fries are vegan friendly.

I continue to fry fries at home in a mixture of canola oil and bacon drippings because it tastes so damn good.

Edit: Yep, Drejk is correct:

Freehold DM wrote:
Drejk wrote:
Isn't McDonalds supposed to fry them in deep vegetable oil? I know of no animal fat that would be suitable for the deep frying technique that is used by McDonalds.
Keep in mind I am no vegetarian anymore, but that was the scuttlebutt a few years ago.


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Freehold DM wrote:
Waitaminute. That sounded like a math problem! Are you trying to sneak math problems into this thread?!

It's pizza: there's a πr² baked into each one.


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gran rey de los mono wrote:
I am necessary. I am the glue that holds the fabric of the universe together. At least that's what the voices tell me.

You are metaphysical transglutaminase?!


Just a Mort wrote:
I had to train myself to eat salad without dressing since I don't care for most salad dressings which are like either mayo based or sour(balsamic vinaigrette).

Have you ever tried French dressing? It's a little sweet, so maybe you might like a little on your salad next time.


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NobodysHome wrote:

Things you should not say when you are over 50:

"Oh, wow! Next Thursday I'll have set an all-time record for dryness!"

Fortunately, it's still early yet, so NobodysWife missed out on half a dozen Depends references...

I would have assumed you were instead speaking of your recipe for roast chicken prepped with a hair dryer.

No really, drying the raw chicken's skin before roasting makes for much crispier and tastier skin.


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Stir gossip should be a witch (cauldron) hex.


YALE SCIENTISTS EXHUME ART BELL; WILL DETERMINE IF ACTUALLY ART AND/OR BELL
Actual, cannibal Shia LaBeouf testifies Herb Albert was 'delicious', 'not a reptoid'


TEARFUL FIERI ADMITS HE TOO WAS SHODDILY BUILT BY GENERAL MOTORS FROM ASSORTED ON-HAND PARTS
Rushed to emergency garage after overheating and snapped shifter cable

LOCAL SLAAD CONTINUES BUILDING ARMY OF WICKERMEN IN BACKYARD, CACKLING ABOUT NICK CAGE; more on pg. 9


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Sissyl wrote:
English heritage trait gives you resist rain 10...

But you also gain a drawback where you make make a successful DC13 Will check to resist boiling your food.


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Oh, I like asparagus too (and brussel sprouts), particularly when grilled. But not canned asparagus. Hate canned asparagus.


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Set wrote:

I blame Cosmo for green bean casseroles.

My aunt insists on bringing them to family dinners (Easter, Thanksgiving, etc.). She, bless her heart, tries really hard to make them good, with mushroom soup and chunks of portabello and bacon and some crunchy stringy stuff on the top that I never see anywhere else but on top of green bean casseroles.

But, at the end of the day, if she made a casserole with mushroom soup and chunks of portabello and bacon *without* green beans in it, it would be so much better. She's just dressing up the pig. Only it's not a pig, the pig is actually dressing up something else that's even less appealing, so this metaphor has failed spectacularly. Anyway.

Green beans just ruin everything. Even bacon. That's on you, Cosmo!

The crunchy stringy stuff on top is fried onions.

Portabellos + mushroom soup + bacon would probably be real good if she swapped out the green beans for tater tots (frozen) or hashbrowns. Mix in some shredded cheese and top the whole casserole with fried onions (or French's fried jalapenos) and bake for deliciousness.

I blame Cosmo for Set's green bean misery.

I also blame Cosmo for canned asparagus.


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Kileanna wrote:
Patrick Curtin wrote:
Kileanna wrote:
BTW here it's common to make burgers with mixed meat of pork and beef. I like my burgers pure beef. Adding pork seems like a sin xD
Where I live we usually only mix the two for meatloaf. They used to mix in veal as well, but since that meat has become highly unpopular it is usually omitted.
I think it's just because pork is cheaper. I use mixed meat only for meatloaf too, sometimes for lasagna too.

Mixing pork, beef, and veal in meatloaf is scientific (scroll down a page or two). It's about getting the best ratio of different fats, different muscle types, and gelatin for optimum texture and flavor. (I think Alton Brown did a Good Eats episode on it too, but couldn't find it to link it.)

Kileanna wrote:
Question: what kind of spices, etc. do you usually add to your patties? I want to hear ideas on how do you do them, as I'm always trying new things.

I usually buy ground beef on sale and at a further discount for larger packages (3-5 lbs.), and then make it into 1/4 lb. patties for freezing. Because it's premeasured in 1/4 lb. amounts, I'll also crumble the patties up for tacos, sloppy joes, or other meals, so I'll usually keep the seasonings light: a bit of salt, black pepper, and red pepper flakes.

When I make a burger, if I'm not ravenous and must eat immediately, I'll prep some seasoned mayo at least 10 minutes before assembling the burger. I'll mix various spices and herbs into a mayonnaise base, and the extra time allows the dried flavorings time to rehydrate. My current seasoned mayo mix is a good dash of dried garlic mix, a good dash of dried ginger citrus mix, a few drops of soy sauce, and a little squirt of sriracha.


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Uncanny Valley still makes the best ranch dressing.


Kileanna wrote:
I never tried to make my own bacon but I think I'm going to start just for trying.

I've seen several how-tos on how to make your own cold smoker, and I still want to try cold smoking bacon.

The next week or so, I'll be swinging by the butcher and hope to pick up some guanciale (Italian cured pork jowl) so I can make bucatini all'amatriciana, which sounds delicious.

Planpanther wrote:
I will say one thing southern folk got right is grits. Don't even bother in yankee country we got no idea what we are doing up here.

I've lived in the (U.S.) South my entire life and I'm still not fond of grits (or polenta either), even though my mom was raised loving grits. But even I have to admit that cheesy grits served with crumbled bacon and garlicky shrimp is still pretty delicious.


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I didn't use to like spinach until I tried cooking it like greens, although when I make it (or greens) I usually toast some red pepper flakes in the oil before adding the garlic, and I double the amount of garlic*. I also like to sprinkle on little fresh grated parm or other sharp hard cheese right after I plate it.

I also discovered that I like adding some spinach (sauteed, then chilled and chopped) into the ricotta layers of my lasagna.

* Anytime I cook with garlic, I usually double or more the amount of garlic.


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Sissyl wrote:
Cooking wines don't actually need alcohol. Mostly you'd just boil it off anyways.

For flavor, no. But if you're trying to deglaze a pan/pot to unstick the fond (the caramelized/browned bits) so they'll incorporate into your gravy or sauce, an alcoholic liquid seems to work better than a non-alcoholic one.

If you're naturally overanxious and uptight like myself, I find a bit of alcohol also helps loosen up me too.


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Oatmeal raisin cookies are even better if you soak the raisins in bourbon or rum first. I also like to mix in soaked dried cranberries too.


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CrystalSeas wrote:
Mostly it takes time. I'm a serious cook, but I only spend about $40 a week on food. You can buy a lot of food (including meat) but you have to be an intense sales shopper and have a bit of space for a pantry when the sales are extra good.

I wish I had a bigger freezer than just the one over my fridge. If you have a standalone freezer, you can spend one day a week prepping & cooking up meals, and then freezing the leftovers in meal-sized portions for quick reheating throughout the rest of the week or later in the month.

You can also use it to stock up on meat when it's on sale, or when it's reduced by the market/butcher for quick sale when it's close to spoiling. My little freezer is crammed full of chicken thighs & wings, portioned out bacon, and handmade hamburger patties (I always make mine to 1/4 lb size, so they are "pre-measured" for browning and breaking up into stuff like tacos and chili).


John Napier 698 wrote:
Kileanna wrote:
I know how you feel. I love cooking, but when I work until late there are days I don't feel like doing it. That days I get home so hungry that I could eat anything as long as I don't have to cook it.
Whenever I make Macaroni and Cheese I prefer real cheese and not the vile orange powder they put in the boxes. The last time I made it, I used Velveta cheese, a bag of Kraft shredded Sharp Cheddar, and a bit of Grated Parmesan cheese.

This is pretty good & fairly quick for easy mac & cheese: 3-Ingredient Stovetop Mac & Cheese. Since my evaporated milk always comes in 5 oz cans, I reduce the cheese and pasta down to 5 oz portions too. And I add in a generous sprinkling of red chili flakes in with the evaporated milk. The bad part is I'm then likely to attempt to eat the whole batch in one sitting (and then feel uncomfortable full afterward).


Drejk wrote:
*googles tender wheat*

I couldn't find tender wheat. Maybe she means wheat berries?


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Evil Overlord wrote:
I have fried some French people before. But I refuse to eat them.

A Mediterraneans diet is supposed to be good for you.


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Celestial Healer wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:
Tacticslion wrote:
Chef Yesterday wrote:
food & cooking
food & cooking
food & cooking

OMG. Nobodyshome is my spirit animal.

+1 million

Is a spirit animal better brined and roasted, marinated and BBQed, or dry-rubbed and smoked?

I should probably eat lunch soon.


Your recipes are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter: Iron Chef Absalom.


How long does it take to hard boil a kobold egg?


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Yesterday, are your tomatoes still producing?

Must find something to eat... EAT!


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Captain Yesterday, FaWtL 6 News wrote:
As The Kobold Turns.

...you have to remember to baste the meat so it stays juicy.


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Jebediah, Puritan Jerk wrote:

Total non-sequitur: I am now wondering what ingredients and variations Puritans would use while making jerk.


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Freehold DM wrote:
TriOmegaZero wrote:

Blue Bayou food coma.

I think I can't have run of the mill salmon after this.

Tell me of this salmon.

Here's the Blue Bayou menu at Disneyland. Looks like he's referring to the "Pan-seared Salmon", which does sound pretty good. It can't be as good as the filet mignon & risotto from Mythos at Universal Orlando, which bordered on orgasmically delicious.


Actually, you can make a pretty good trifle using inevitables <hic> in place of the sponge <hic> cake, but you need to soak them <hic> in Old Janx Spirit for a couple hours first to soften them up. <hic>


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captain yesterday wrote:

Grilling, Captain Yesterday style.

-Get a grill, after never having a grill.
-Get hipster grilling charcoal (all natural of course)
-Spend at least an hour trying to get it sufficiently lit.
-Settle on S'mores, the chicken, Krabby Patties (what we have to call burgers in front of the kids), brats, and marinated pork kabobs will have to wait until tomorrow.

Do you have an empty coffee can, some basic tools, and some spare time?


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And because I can post it, tonight's dinner is prepped:

  • 6 lb. roaster chicken is cleaned, spatchcocked, stuffed with seasoned herb butter under the skin, and sitting on bed of roasting aromatics (halved lemon, eighth-ed onion, and half a head of garlic)
  • carrots are peeled, sliced. glaze is assembled.
  • stuffing and creamed corn still in box & can, respectively standing by

Anxiety levels now lowered, going to lay down to rest my back


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Freehold DM wrote:
NobodysHome wrote:

I try very hard to convince people that the quality of the ingredients determines the quality of the final dish. My favorite example of this is my oft-quoted oatmeal cookies story, which I think I've posted here more than once:

"Your oatmeal cookies are fantastic! Can I have the recipe?"
"It's the one on the Quaker Oatmeal box."
"Oh, I've tried that one, and the cookies come out terrible."...

the desire and ability to pay for quality ingredients for a meal is largely related to issues of culture, location, and economics.

Interestingly enough, my wife and I were talking about this recently with respect to food deserts and such.

Well, when someone tells you they "followed the directions" and the recipe turned out wrong, my first instinct is to assume they deviated from the recipe: mixed up baking soda & baking powder, used tablespoons instead of teaspoons, subbed brown sugar for regular sugar, etc. Also, many people seemed to think that the improvisation they can use (or get away with) in regular cooking can also work in baked goods (bread, cookies, etc.) when normally you have to be pretty precise. (My) Mom was never very demonstrative when it came to teaching us kids how to cook, but I absorbed a lot from watching hundreds of hours of PBS and Food Network* cooking shows (* at least until they decided they'd rather be the reality show and Guy Fieri/Sandra Lee network).

I've found that you can use many of the more affordable store brand ingredients, but you have to know which ones are just as good and which ones are substandard... and usually the only way to find that out is having the time to try different ones to find which is best. There is a risk, however, that you will find an ingredient sooooooo clearly better (Cabot cheeses) that your taste buds will accept nothing less (Kraft, Cracker Barrel, Borden's cheese-colored rubber/silicon extrusion, etc.).

---

Also, if you have 3 hours, plenty of refined white sugar, a large glass baking dish, and a reliable oven, you can make "toasted" sugar. It tastes like caramel, and works great in morning coffee. I'd like to jar some up with vanilla pods or lemon/citrus zest to let them enfuse their aromatics, but this first batch is solely for my coffee.


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captain yesterday wrote:

Probably because it's spring, but I really want to make a key lime pie.

The problem is, I like to do things right, and zesting and juicing upwards of forty key limes (because they're f@~#ing small, and one pie is never enough) is brutal to do in your own. :-)

Just today I saw a new cooking tip: put your lemon half midway between metal salad/kitchen tongs and squeeze. Supposedly, you get more leverage for maximum juicing.* Not sure how it'd work with smaller key limes.

* If this doesn't work, blame Ming Tsai and Sara Moulton.


Celestial Healer wrote:
Unless you move to Missouri. There is nothing there worth eating.

I heer ze løcal zøurced løng pørks iz quite gøød.


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{walks in wearing bløødy aprøn} 21st støølie nuo. Hey, vhu's up fur sume-a suylent buørgers? Børk Børk Børk!


♪ ♫ "Vern dee zee, vern dee zee börk.
Vern dee zee, vern dee zee börk...
" ♫ ♪

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