gran rey de los everything's page

gran rey de los mono wrote:

That is how Rome built their empire: by stinging people's legs.

That is what motivated Roman soldiers to build Roman empire, not letting others sting their legs.

And, lo, thus did Rome conquer the known world: By going forth and stinging the legs of their enemies afore said enemies could sting the Legs of Rome.

Limeylongears wrote:

I used to smoke DOPE, but it was a bad idea - that stuff doesn't agree with me. It would be worse now.

I took acid once, and watched a weird Indonesian martial arts film while I was on it. I had a good time.

I refuse to believe that the Captain never worked in a cheese factory, given where he lives.

It was a bit obvious I suppose.

I was a quality control inspector for almost 2 whole days.

"Yep, that's cheese."

And now I've had a fingernail removed. And they didn't even offer to put in adamantine claws to replace it.

Guess your insurance isn't as good as you thought it was.

NobodysHome wrote:

lisamarlene wrote:

Also, I pulled a hamstring on my run Thursday morning, because I keep forgetting that being almost 47 means I really ought to start stretching first.

Just wait 'til you're 54 and tearing rib muscles playing miniature golf...

Hey, just so you're aware, you don't need to be using a driver at the mini golf course. Their Par 3 holes don't have the same size fairways as the other ones, so you probably could get away with a 6 iron instead and take some strain off those intercostals.

"Need" to use a driver? Of course I don't need to! But I spent a ton of money on this thing and I'll be DAMNED if I let it sit around gathering dust.

lisamarlene wrote:

Ugh. My alma mater just sent me a "save the date" refrigerator magnet for my 25-year reunion. This was so much easier to avoid when I lived two thousand miles away.

So let me simplify:
The few classmates I might actually want to see? I have their cellphone numbers and don't need a reunion weekend to get together. Most of them weren't in my year, anyway. My favorite professors are dead. My old flame is dead, and he dropped out before he graduated so he wouldn't have been there anyway. And the university has only gotten more ridiculously right-wing, and I haven't been Catholic since two popes ago. Just no.

I like the idea of popes as a measurement of time.

Four score and seven popes ago, our four fathers fought Norse on this consonant a blue patient, deceived by flibbertygibits, and medicated to the preposition that mall hens are conflated evilly.

Today will be a race against time.

As in I'll have to hurry to get my sun installed before it starts raining.

Unfortunately I'll also have to deal with obstacles like coworker deciding we have to race to get some other less important task before it starts raining or some a%&&%*# yelling at a different a!!#!*& with my first name (I met the roofers yesterday, they are definitely a+~~**!s).

So it should be a fun day, in a NOT sort of way.

I guess you need to...*puts on sunglasses*...make sun while the sun shines?

*intro music starts* ♫ Yyyyyyeeeeaaaaahhhh!!!!!! ♫

Is that how the thing is done? Did I meme?

gran rey de los surround sound wrote:

Bel-mrooks wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Bel-mrooks wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Unfortunately, what isn't a joke is that I have been left even more laundry than I was complaining about on Wednesday. I'm pretty f!#%ing pissed.

"You Knew It! You're Surrounded By A**Holes."

It's been like that for most of my life.

Commence Operation... VAC-U-SUCK!

No! YOU SUCK!!

gran , I am your father's brother's nephew's cousin's former roommate.

Yeah? Well, I'm your everything!

It's gonna be a hole thing!

So as anyone that watches low budget horror movies knows they always end up with a "In space" as the sequels build. Have we gotten a Sharknado In space yet?

"In space, no shark can hear you nado."

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Vidmaster7 wrote:

gran rey de los mono wrote:

I'm not sure my coworker knows what the word "done" means. I came in tonight, he says "All the laundry is done", I'm thinking "Great!". Then I go back there and see two bins full waiting to be washed and think "How is this 'done'?".

I wouldn't of looked. and then when someone asked me I would of said oh 2nd shift said it was done.

I went to look because, even if he had washed/dried/folded all of it, I probably still would have needed to put it away and was curious how much there would be. Also, I have to go back there a few times during the night for other things anyways, so I couldn't have gotten away with "Oh, I didn't go back there, so I didn't see it."

Have you tried faking your own death? that has done wonders for me. all 6 times.

I'm done that a few times. I think they're starting to catch on to me. I guess there's a limit to how many times you can all in and say "I can't work tonight, I'm dead. Hopefully I'll be better tomorrow."

Tease.

You know you love it.

I also miss Under dog (not the crappy movie mind you but the original) I bet I could find it if I looked for it. I bet it has not aged well too.

Not bird, nor plane, nor even frog. Just little old me, Underdog.

Arthur Anymoredoughnuts wrote:

*gives Mort puppy-dog eyes*

*leaves it up to you to decide if he means a really sad look or the actual eyes from a small domestic canine*

You know I took a break in the middle of my workout because a cat came up to me and curled around my paws so I was petting it? What makes you think I'm a dawg person ;)

Especially since I'm a cat.

Dogs are better than cats. Proven scientific fact.

I think it's pretty clear that I'm not impressing anyone.

Heh heh heh.

Vanykrye wrote:

Tacticslion wrote:

Huh. I just discovered that the Kurgan (from Highlander) is, in fact, Mr. Crab, from Sponge Bob.

mind=blown

Richard Moll was also "Bull" in Night Court .

huge, huge fan of his. Loved him in both shows.

*facepalm*

Drejk wrote:

How to get Freehold's like on a blogpost...

Note that the NPC is an attractive hedonist. Decadence optional.

that's not true. I'm not some kind of lecherous sex enthusiast!

I'm...

busts out laughing

Oh man, I couldnt keep that up even for one post.

I'm tempted to comment on your inability to keep it up, but I'm too high class for this.

Or I could spend 9 years telling you about how I met your mother.

Safe in London!

I believe there are many banks, and therefore many safes in London. Can you be more specific?

Had another Gallstone. Worst one yet. Incredibly painful like my organs were on fire while cramping. Talking to a surgeon on Tuesday about having my gallbladder cut out.

That's seems kind of drastic. Having your gall bladder sliced out just because it wants to play Happy Fun Ball with you.

Uh oh... did I disbelieve everybody?

Where are gran? And Vidmaster? And Toto?

gran are here, now. We weren't here earlier.

These really seem more like observations then jokes.

You're an observation!

NobodysHome wrote:

NobodysHome's Dream Car.

FreeholdDM's Dream Car

Are you sure it isn't this?

Warning: NSFW.

sigh

Kids mixing up APA and MLA again.

The Acolyte Protection Agency and Major League A%@%+$*s?

Interesting day. Unexpected 6 month pregnancies, people seeing movies, and Mort worrying about getting forked.

At least it wasn't Mort worrying about being six months pregnant after unexpectedly getting forked while watching a movie.

Sharoth wrote:

The "rules" that are loosely enforce here are

1 - No politics

2 - No religion

3 - No sports

4 - No hurtful comments.

I take issue with gran and rule number 4 then!

*issues hurtful comment*

Freehold DM wrote:

Captain Deadpool wrote:

Have you ever noticed you never see Cable and Thanos in the same movie.

if only we never saw you in a movie.

Ouch! Do you kiss my mother with that mouth!

I think he kissed your mouth with his mother.

gran rey de los mono wrote:

Famous people probably know what their autograph sounds like.

Huh... You know that one is interesting. Surely after you've signed it so many times... <mind blown>

*resists urge to make joke about things being blown*

I like that mercury is a lady with horns.

See, I'm tempted to make a comment about how the horns are fitting because women are evil, but I'm not going to.

Woo finished the hardest part about putting my book together should have the rest done in under 2 weeks. Then comes the decision of how to get it published edited etc.

I would recommend having it edited before it's published. Your post implied you would publish it first, and then have it edited. I know some books (especially rulebooks) seem like they skipped the editing step, but it's probably best not to.

Are you allowed to use Chaos to Purge Chaos?

Soo woo working on final drafts! Just need a better name for a rogue type hero class. All the good ones are taken like infiltrator or vigilante

How about calling it Jyn Erso or Cassian Andor?

...

During "500 Miles", I was so bored I started doing my best air drum solo at the table with a couple of coffee spoons until I caught the bride's deaf daughter staring at me like I was utterly deranged, so I stopped. It's a good song, but you can't dance to it.

Surely you just march around on the dance floor, singing along at the top of your lungs.

*would kill for living players to do Pathfinder* Especially now that I'm going to be stuck away from home for the next two weekends...

Perhaps the problem is that you kill the potential players.

And Herpes' the Scourge of the North.

Be a shame if something happened to your army base, Colonel.

Keep posting.

Vidmaster7 wrote:

Trinam wrote:

To be fair, I haven’t posted in FaWtL in a while. At this point it’s like tradition to assume I’m TOZ.

it did take me a minute to realize you weren't TOZ.

The secret is to realize that when TOZ is snarky he uses the mask icon, and I don't have any settings outside of snarky so all my posting is snark.

HOLY SHIT THAT'S NOT TOZ!!!

Two bro cats are run into each other in an alley dumpster.
BroCat 1: "Hey bro, I heard you went out with Kitty last night."
Brocat 2: "Yeah, bro. Sure did."
BroCat 1: "So, how did it go?"
BroCat 2: "Not good, bro. I struck out."
BroCat 1: "Ahh, that sucks bro. What happened?"
BroCat 2: "I offered her a tuna, thinking that would help get her in the mood."
BroCat 1: "Yeah?"
BroCat 2: "She said 'Not tonight. I've got a haddock.'"

...

Also is allowed to take natural spell despite not being a druid to cast with paws...

In Tacticstown, all things are possible. It's kind of like Willy Wonka's factory, but with more (and larger) Oompa Loompas.

Or am I the only one who imagines it that way?

I think you mean "matriculated".

I actually almost felt bad for the night crew, they had all the competent workers in during the day and it's all newbs and B team.

And the closing manager was sick.

Almost.

Is this one of those cases where "I'd feel sorry for them if the f!+!ers didn't deserve it!"?

Are you like Johnny Appleseed? Do you travel around planting applesauce shrubs? Can you come plant a few in my yard?

I prefer dogs to cats, yes.

*rules all he surveys*

I can not afford a plane ticket to Spain. (Or anything in the spain area really)

Then I guess you better start swimming.

Mystery solved.

Did you require a timid Great Dane and a sexy redhead?

~walks in, cursing up a storm~ Totally unfair! Totally not right! Damn it! Damn it indeed! Ok, Mr. Jim Butcher, where in the Hell is the next Dresden Files Book?

Oh, you didn't hear? He contracted that out to George RR Martin to write just as soon as the Game of Thrones books are done. So, should be on sale any day now.

Yes, I copy/pasted my response from the treefort.

Oh, you didn't hear? He contracted that out to George RR Martin to write just as soon as the Game of Thrones books are done. So, should be on sale any day now.

Or bubble tea?

HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY, AMERICA!! SUCK IT, ENGLAND!