Last one to post wins

[The Legendary Sir Loin of Beef]

Tis a fine weapon indeed, your noble squire has served you well!

Now, to return to our bout, we have a gentlemen’s challenge to continue!

[Sir Limey De Longears]

So ho, Sirrah! I intendeth to performe Ledall's ivth chayse, with 15 rondes, follued by an massye foyne at thy vitales. I thuoght it an curtesye to informe thee beforetowardes.

[The Legendary Sir Loin of Beef]

*Sticks sword into the ground, and kneels before Sir Limey De Longears.*

And with what you have just now said, proves to me that you are the superior one. As such, I yield.

*Bows head solemnly, awaiting for Sir Limey De Longears to strike the victory blow.*

[The when]

And thus came to be: Chicken Fried Steak!

[The when]

With some biscuits* and gravy, and hash browns. A little picante sauce on the side… Yummy.

* American biscuits made with baking powder. Not sweet, but light and fluffy.

[Sir Limey De Longears]

The Legendary Sir Loin of Beef wrote:

*Sticks sword into the ground, and kneels before Sir Limey De Longears.*

And with what you have just now said, proves to me that you are the superior one. As such, I yield.

*Bows head solemnly, awaiting for Sir Limey De Longears to strike the victory blow.*

'Tis tyme thou wert wade an Duoble Knight, and so thus I do dub thee.

*Taps Sir Loin lightly on each shoulder with the cubic zircona-encrusted spork*

Gette readye
Sir Knight (x2)
Gonna make thee a knight to remember.

[Fish-Malkovich]

The when wrote:

And thus came to be: Chicken Fried Steak!

Someone already goes by that name, just call him Sir Loin of Beef.

[Orange Hulk]

*Finally stops dancing about about and puts on a pair of trousers.*

*Much to the disappointment of the women and the relief of Comte de Malodor.*

[Comte de Malodor]

I'd be more relieved if they weren't MY trousers.

[Fish-Malkovich]

Tough luck, Alphonse, you were the one who wanted him to "hide his baguette". Serves you right.

And yes, most if not all of us also wanted him to cover up, but that's due to public indecency.

[Comte de Malodor]

Of course I wanted his baguette to be hidden. I'm on a gluten-free diet, and must avoid temptation.

Same reason why Orange Hulk's pastry genitals should be concealed from view.

[Orange Hulk]

I go put on my own trousers now.

*Changes into his trousers, gives the other pair back to Comte de Malodor.*

Here you go, sorry they all stretchy now.

[The when]

Dons the trouser shaped Orange Hulk. “Not spherical, but they will do.”

[Dedrick, The Professor]

*Is baffled at how The when (lacking the use of legs, or even a waistline), is able to wear trousers.*

Just don't get too comfortable in those, they belong to Comte de Malodor after all.

[Pulg]

Since The When is pure plasma, they should be disinfected after being worn a nanosecond or two, at least.

[Dedrick, The Professor]

We can but hope!

[The when]

As well as speaking of himself in the third person, the when can assume any form desired. I just find it interesting that the Orange Hulk doesn’t mind being worn as trousers. Of course he did change into them, so it must have been the desired outcome.

[Orange Hulk]

Me not trousers! Me just swap trousers of nasty thing* for trousers that me own!

*=Refers to Comte de Malodor.

[Pulg]

You have two legs, a hole in the top, and a zipper. I think you are trousers, just maybe with a bit of an identity crisis.

[The when]

Not quite spherical pants, but talking trousers are strangely satisfying.

[The Legendary Sir Loin of Beef]

Pulg wrote:

You have two legs, a hole in the top, and a zipper. I think you are trousers, just maybe with a bit of an identity crisis.

With all due respect, my fine and furry friend, but all that best describes you as well.

[Pulg]

Pardon me, but I do not have legs, or any orifices at all to speak of. As has been discussed previously, I am Just Hair.

[Fish-Malkovich]

You have everything and nothing, Pulg, part and parcel of marrying bricks!

[Just Hair]

Pulg wrote:

As has been discussed previously, I am Just Hair.

No you're not, I AM!

[Pulgh]

Hey, bro.

[Just Hair]

*Wraps hairy pseudopods around Pulgh and absorbs all of his hair.*

*Anything left of Pulgh is released unharmed.*

[The when]

Hair it is.

Just Hare.

The tortoise and the hair.

Splitting hares. (Sundering coneys.)

Toupee, or not toupee.

[Pulg]

- Who's there?

- There? Will B. 'Hell' Toupee.

[Just Hair]

*Wraps pseudopods around Pulg and absorbs all of his hair.*

[Pulg]

Legal, perhaps, but not Just.

[The when]

What we have here. Is the Toupee of Injustice!

[Just Hair]

*Wraps pseudopods around the Toupee of Injustice, and absorbs it entirely.*

I am literally just a mass of magically sentient, purple coloured hair.

[Pulg]

I am a mass of naturally sentient, beige coloured hair.

[Dedrick, The Professor]

True, but whatever dark forces created that!

*Points to Just Hair.*

Has done so with the specific purpose of being the bane of your existence, apparently.

[The when]

Nothing a pair of clippers won’t solve.

[Pulg]

Dedrick, The Professor wrote:

True, but whatever dark forces created that!

*Points to Just Hair.*

Has done so with the specific purpose of being the bane of your existence, apparently.

Why? Has it learned to play the banjo?

[Dedrick, The Professor]

No, well yes, it can play the banjo. But it mainly exists solely to aggravate you.

[Pulg]

By playing the banjo, yes.

[The when]

An electric double neck 7 string / 15 string banjo. Can play both at once, ‘cause hair.

[Pulg]

Ah yes, the one with parametric frets and a drool-operated flanger.

[Just Hair]

*Grabs every single banjo from Pulg's Fairy Banjo Band, and plays them expertly, if excessively.*

[Pulg's Horrid Fairy Banjo Choir]

B A N J O T I M E

[GT's Gothic Fairy Sousaphones]

...

foomph...

[Just Hair]

*Grows an extra pair of pseudopods and attaches them to GT's Gothic Fairy Sousaphones.*

*Starts absorbing some of the purple ichor, growing bigger, turning a deeper shade of purple.*

*And, of course, getting even better at playing the banjos.*

[GT's Abominable Sousaphone Band]

:with pained and disgusted expressions, begin eating hair:

[Fish-Malkovich]

Anybody know what happened to my extensive wig collection?

[Pulg]

It has a) escaped, and b), unionised.

[Dedrick, The Professor]

They've also been c) eaten up by GT's Abominable Sousaphone Band.

[The when]

And d) went on down to Memphis. (Elvis, not Ptolemy .)

[Pulg]

I'm considering,
I'm considering,
A move to Heliopolis,
A move to Heliopolis.