The Legendary Sir Loin of Beef's page

Have more of my ancient nemesis’s returned from oblivion itself to challenge me?

I knew those men, the finest example of knights you would ever see, they alas gave their lives defending Dowager Comtesse de Malodor during the early stages of the Blood War (when Pulg betrayed her to the enemy).

*Dismounts horse, and unsheathes a magnificent sword from its scabbard.*

Most gladly! Have at you, lowly swine!

*The battle only lasts no longer than a few seconds as The Legendary Sir Loin of Beef quickly defeats (and expertly kills) Octave de Malodor.*

*Charges in on horseback, impales Comte de Malodor in the process with a lance, comes to a halt in front of The Riddling Reaver.*

I am here to engage in a duel with the mildewed pond scum that is Octave de Malodor!

*Takes the case of crossbow bolts, a look of pure disdain on his face.*

Once more, I have been outwitted. But, my honour is still unblemished, so I roam once more.

*Walks into the distance, proud yet crestfallen, still seeking glory and redemption.*

*Is protected from the camel spit due to the face guard.*

I have no quarrel with you, noble beast of the desert, my battle is with your foolish rider.

*rides up*

A légpárnásom tele van angolnákkal!

*rides off*

YOU!

*Intercepts Spenser Quixote, preventing him from going anywhere.*

Hello, I am the Legendary Sir Loin of Beef, you killed my father, prepare to die!

You have two legs, a hole in the top, and a zipper. I think you are trousers, just maybe with a bit of an identity crisis.

With all due respect, my fine and furry friend, but all that best describes you as well.

*Sticks sword into the ground, and kneels before Sir Limey De Longears.*

And with what you have just now said, proves to me that you are the superior one. As such, I yield.

*Bows head solemnly, awaiting for Sir Limey De Longears to strike the victory blow.*

Tis a fine weapon indeed, your noble squire has served you well!

Now, to return to our bout, we have a gentlemen’s challenge to continue!

*Swords clash in an epic dance of beauty and power.*

Why, thank you, Sir Limey De Longears. It pleases me greatly to spar with one who respects such majesty.

Dangligue from ye ende of mine lance, wrought of blue samite, spherycle pantes.

Aha! So, we meet at last, my great and worthy opponent!

*Unsheathes a most remarkable looking sword from its scabbard.*

Come, let us see who is the greater knight and swordsman, en guard!