Last one to post wins

[Toxiana, Leader of Ujalu]

*Lands on a small outcrop in the wall, giggling.*

Very funny indeed, can't wait for the one about Zendra!

[Vampire Schism]

Hey!
This is my father's house.
You WILL be respectful at all times!

[Pulg]

When GoatToucher went to Uvalu,
He encountered the famous bear, Baloo
Baloo was quite nervous,
GoatToucher was perverse,
What more horrid a fate could befall you?

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

Vampire Schism wrote:

Hey!

This is my father's house.
You WILL be respectful at all times!

I appreciate your efforts daughter, however, we are at the Malodor household.

At the same time, getting those three to be respectful is an effort in utility...

[The when]

There was a young man wrote, utility.
You might think he meant futility.
But you would be wrong, he’s singing a song,
and thinking of adopting a poodility *.

*A poodle, but I stuck an illitie on there to make it rhyme.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:

is an effort in futility...

I would have edited it had I noticed soon enough.

But, as The when knows, I unfortunately did not notice soon enough.

[Vampire Schism]

Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:

I appreciate your efforts daughter, however, we are at the Malodor household.

At the same time, getting those three to be respectful is an effort in utility...

Wait a moment.

I went to sleep in your house.
How did I wake up here?

[Pulg's Fairy Trombone Orchestra]

You travelled by trombone!

[Pulg]

When Vikram invaded old Zendra,
Both he and his sergeant, Hitendra,
Saved their loins from the natives
With y-fronts, ablative,
And hurled hand grenades back with a bent bra.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

Vampire Schism wrote:

Wait a moment.

I went to sleep in your house.
How did I wake up here?

Ignore the fairies, they're just teasing you.

*Points to Schism (somehow)*

Ask her why you are here, she also doesn't like the biscuits I brought.

[Dowager Comtesse de Malodor]

Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:

Vampire Schism wrote:

Hey!

This is my father's house.
You WILL be respectful at all times!

I appreciate your efforts daughter, however, we are at the Malodor household.

At the same time, getting those three to be respectful is an effort in utility...

Oh, is there a want of respect from certain people? Lacastrakaa, be so kind as to fetch both THE CLAMPS, and THE CORK!

[Falco, Leader of Zendra]

*Looks at Zolar and Toxiana, a smug grin on his face.*

The two of you are very much in trouble now!

[Zolar, Leader of Pataak]

You are right about her, Falco.

*Points to Toxiana.*

But our host was speaking about you not me!

[Toxiana, Leader of Ujalu]

*Looks at Falco and Zolar very indignantly.*

Well I never! The two of you often insult me when not at each other's throats!

*Turns away in a huff.*

And Dowager Comtesse de Malodor was talking about the two of you!

[Vampire Schism]

Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:

Ignore the fairies, they're just teasing you.

*Points to Schism (somehow)*

Ask her why you are here, she also doesn't like the biscuits I brought.

That girl drives me crazy sometimes.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

Just take it easy and breathe slowly...

And treat yourself to one of my biscuits and "wine".

[Mother Widow]

My beverage is also rather exquisite, too much so for my children.

*Everyone looks at what - or rather who - Mother Widow is drinking...*

Spoiler:

*It's the Dirty Dangler.*

[Jurassic Bard]

Spoiler:

Yes, I'm starting to use spoilers now! :-)

[Lady Blackmoor]

Unhand my beloved, you octipedal trollop! No-one gets to do that to THE DIRTY DANGLER except me!

[The when]

Picks up a guitar and begins to strum along with Lady Blackmoor.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

“Ooooh, owa, ooooh, oh”.

[Sax-O-Bear]

Ru tu tu-te-tu-te-tu!

[Mother Widow]

Lady Blackmoor wrote:

Unhand my beloved, you octipedal trollop! No-one gets to do that to THE DIRTY DANGLER except me!

So disrespectful, has your mother not taught you about manners?

*Drops the Dirty Dangler, who lands flat on his front.*

And to think, I thought of you so highly.

*Recoils from giving Lady Blackmoor her gift*

It seems that I must find another to favour.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

*Meanwhile, Falco, Zolar and Toxiana start an intense argument that boils over into a fight. Thankfully, despite the hectic antics of magic spells being thrown about the room, the damage is minimal and no one is badly injured.*

Well, at least they're entertaining, I'll give them that.

[Pulg's Wives]

I'm glad somebody is, EH PULG?!

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

*Looks over at Pulg, with an unamused expression.*

OK, what did you do/didn't do now you ungodly mound of matted fibres!

[GT's Gothic Fairy Sousaphones]

The when wrote:

Picks up a guitar and begins to strum along with Lady Blackmoor.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

“Ooooh, owa, ooooh, oh”.

Sax-O-Bear wrote:

Ru tu tu-te-tu-te-tu!

...

:phoomph:

[Dedrick, The Professor]

*Goes over to GoatToucher's Gothic Fairy Sousaphone Band.*

It's great to see you guys here, but where is your master?

[Pineapple the Clown]

*Drives clown car down the road, in a hurry but still keeping to the speed limit, having been called away from the party due to unexpected circumstances. Then gets stuck in traffic with lots of drivers shouting, honking their car horns, using profanity and trying their luck to get through. Some even start sleeping.*

Who let these clowns on the road!?

[Pulg]

Was it Cher?

[Pulg's Wives]

Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:

*Looks over at Pulg, with an unamused expression.*

OK, what did you do/didn't do now you ungodly mound of matted fibres!

Years of disappointment.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

Pulg's Wives wrote:

Count Reiner Heydrich wrote:

*Looks over at Pulg, with an unamused expression.*

OK, what did you do/didn't do now you ungodly mound of matted fibres!

Years of disappointment.

Ah, I see, though I should have realised it would be that.

Spoiler:

Get a divorce.

Spoiler:

And Falco, Zolar and Toxiana are still fighting! The idiots.

[Dedrick, The Professor]

Spoiler:

How doth the little crocodile, improve his shining tail?

Or pour the waters of the Nile, on every golden scale?

How cheerfully he seems to grin... How neatly spreads his claws...

And welcomes little fishes in... with gently smiling jaws.

[Countess Clarissia von Schism]

yawn

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

Oh, I'm so sorry, are we boring you?

Perhaps, you wish to leave the festivity? The door is over to your right.

[Countess Clarissia von Schism]

Sorry. Bad poetry puts me to sleep.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

Oh, sorry, I didn't realise. Sorry for being sarcastic earlier.

*Blushes slightly due to embarrassment.*

I personally like that particular poem, but I'm curious what poetry pleases you.

[Countess Clarissia von Schism]

All kinds, as long as it is good.
My favorite style is the sonnet.
That was starting to become popular when I got locked in the oubliette.

[GT's Gothic Fairy Sousaphones]

Dedrick, The Professor wrote:

*Goes over to GoatToucher's Gothic Fairy Sousaphone Band.*

It's great to see you guys here, but where is your master?

:they stare:

:they collectively, and in unison, soil themselves:

:they begin to weep, silently:

[Pulg]

Bravo! Bravo! Encore! Bis! Bis!

[Dukes of HUZZAH-RD!]

*Starts marching in and out of the Malodor household...*

Spoiler:

*Still playing the musical instruments stolen from Pulg's bands. *

[The when]

Cleanup on aisle four!

[Pulg]

Now, fairies, how come the putz in the helmet can do with one gob what you cannot do with around 120?

[Fairy Musicians' Union Official]

Perhaps he GETS PAID, Pulg?!

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

Yes, there's that, but also there's more than just him.

[Pulg]

Yes. They also have splayed beaks optimised for feeding in a semi-aquatic environment, shiny feathers, and corkscrew-shaped nobs.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

No, those are just the humming bird/penguin hybrids I made...

And then gave to Comte de Malodor for his birthday. Where he added the last part.

[Comte de Malodor]

Play-doh is an extremely versatile substance.

[Count Reiner Heydrich]

True, but still, putting corkscrew shaped anythings on a body is silly!

[Reiner's Vampyre Court]

*Meanwhile, at Castle Heydrich, screams of people cry out before going silent...*

*And the janitorial staff have yet more blood to clear up now!*

Come, my sisters, these peasants have been drained. And none choose to serve.

Perhaps those who dwell near the Mortis Mansion will join the master!

[Dedrick, The Professor]

*Gets a kriss blade and slices open Comte de Malodor, spilling the fool's guts out.*

*Then, proceeds to slice open the bodies of GoatToucher's Gothic Fairy Sousaphone band*

Spoiler:

*Purely because I want to and it's really funny.*