The plan is already in place. The Age of Aquarius hasn't happened yet. It's a long way away. That's the ticket. No, really, trust me.
The next poster has a bridge to sell you.
And it only has minor damage from that scene with the Balrog!
The next poster wants this bridge, but is too poor to afford it.
This will not do!!! Comrades! We must take the bridge!
The next poster would join in the revolution if only he could find it...
Revoltlution sound like great goblin, but Poog not find him anywhere.
Next poster be visiting and taking out Korean spammers.
Only the ladies and only to the Olive Garden.
What can I say, I've got a gift card.
The next poster is also still rebookmarking the Paizo chat boards they lost with the website redesign.
Still trying. Basically Paizo said, "Get off my lawn."
The next poster drives a Gran Torino.
It's actually very easy when you're a distributed networked AI controlling thousands of drones.
The next poster is sympathetic to the difficulties inherent in keeping track of so many different bodies all at once.
I think you're talking about my digestive system. I shouldn't have eaten that whole village of folks.
Speaking of food, the next poster has made us all some cookies!
Try one! I use only the finest ingredients.
The next poster will put my tasty treat in their mouth.
If you would close your curtains more often, I wouldn't know these kinds of things.
The next poster has also looked through those curtains.
I did! While I was there, I picked up this lovely Thagomizer!
The next poster knew Thag Simmons better than most.
He was like a brother to me.
The next poster pulled my finger ....
I do. Would you like to see them?
:leads you down a hallway to a set of double doors. Jambi rushes to unlock and open the doors quickly enough that GT's stride is uninterrupted:
:you stand in a room with a high ceiling filled with skylights that allow the sun to beam down upon a small sitting areas with two chairs and a chez-lounge set around a table bearing a silver and ivory tea set. All around you are cabinets set into the walls, each with doors ten feet high and six feet across:
Jambi, let's show our guest the special collection.
:you stroll over to a particularly ornate cabinet, which Jambi opens to reveal several dozen commemorative plates from the Bradford Exchange. They depict luminaries from entertainment, history, and politics, as well as some lovingly depicted specimens from the animal kingdom:
Delightful, aren't they?
The next poster will describe their favorite sample from my collection.
I made my first ten billion this way.
The next poster is a subcontractor I pay minimum wage to advertise my business inside GoatToucher's estate.
I demand a raise! I hear everybody else is making one dollar and thirty-five cents an hour, and I should be paid that too.
The next poster can't stop slapping themselves in the face.
*slap* *slap* *slap*
STUPID FLIES!!
Next pozter goes to 'stralia to hunt kangaroos.
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It turns out that the best way to "hunt" kangaroos in Australia is to go to their grocery stores and pick up the prepackaged meat. It's basically just cheaper, healthier beef to them now...so I did what any rational individual would under the circumstances: I hunt the HUMANS who *eat* the 'roo in their steaks, sausages, and floating pies! Much more fun and challenging!
The next poster will teach us how to properly cook a traditional Castlevania pot roast.
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It's quite simple really.
*Takes out a large roasting pan from the cupboard and puts it on the side.*
Once you have your pot, you then grab the next ingredient.
*A buff looking man in Spandex is brought in and then hog-tied.*
Now this is the tricky part, you must suspend the ingredient above a separate pan and drain it. But keep the liquid.
*Takes an ornate knife, slits the man's throat and pours the blood into a nearby large saucepan.*
This is where the fun begins, stuff the ingredient into the roasting pan, making sure that you push it in all the way!
*Appropriate sounds and imagery.*
With that done, pour the the liquid from the saucepan into the roasting pan, lid it and put it in the oven at 200 degrees for 7 hours.
*Does all that.*
The next poster shall be the one to take it out and finish it off when it's ready.
Hey!! I think I got a nut!
It only took me 10 years, but hey! it cracks pretty easy to!
The next poster feels morally obligated to correct the mistake.
A balanced diet includes iron, zinc, copper, steel, titanium, and molten lava (which may contain trace metals).
The next poster has a hard time counting to zero.
One...???
The next poster is a fisherman.
And you were a ladeeee,
Would you follow me anywhere?
Would you catch my crabs?
The next poster is a man-fisher.
I am a direct descendant of the great Puss-In-Boots.
The next poster wants to be reincarnated as a parrot.
Specifically, a "parrot" from Planet Mothmen.
The next poster has their own planet and will convince us all to move there.
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That would be good ol' planet Erzon! It's the only planet in the known universe to be shaped like a triangle (or an isosceles pyramid, to be more precise), we've got sharks that float through the air - don't worry, they're friendly - and gravity is OPTIONAL!
The next poster has a formidable chinbutt!
I present to you, Barry the Talking Browning Hi Power. Say hello, Barry.
"Delighted to make your aquaintance"
*BANG!*
The next poster opposes gnu control.
All these smug, immune to fire monsters are so surprised when you blast them with you sonic breath weapon!
Muhahaha!
The next poster will explain what Browning Hi Power or Gnu software is.
My sweaty First Mate's tan.
The next poster was lost at sea.
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Arrh, it turns out that heavy-duty anaesthetics ain't a navigation aid after all.
The next poster has found a more effective cure for the pain.
Oh my, yes. When I am through, the pain (well, that pain) will be the furthest thing from your mind.
The next poster has listened to my latest podcast, and will provide a brief summary and review.
The next poster has found something that one *can* hear you do in space.
I smell like a mixture of cartoon planet and muskrat. Hmmmm, must be a Monday.
The next poster can see what I'm cooking.
MY EYES! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!
The next poster is under an official Iranian fatwa for a very silly reason.